Fifty Shades of Infidelity
by CatchingMyStars
Summary: Ana returns from drinking with Ethan to find Christian waiting for her with a confession about his time with Leila. Will Ana forgive him? Or will she decide to move on? Please review and share your ideas. Do follow so I'll know if I should continue! Thank you.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Ex- Subs

"What?" The breath left me instantly, panic rising through my body.

Christian's wary eyes were trained on me. His hands were balled at his sides as if restraining himself from reaching for me. It was a good thing he did, seeing that he had just revealed something he should never had.

" Ana." He started, his voice quiet and pleading.

I shook my head and took a step backwards. Even in the darkness, I could see the fear in his eyes. It almost chills my anger, my own arms craving to cuddle him and reassure him that I was his. But to be honest, I was a mess of uncertainty. Nothing is certain anymore, not after what he had confessed.

Christian put both hands up in surrender, "Ana, please."

I clenched my teeth, "No."

His eyes widened further, the grey jumping out from the darkness at me. "I wasn't thinking."

The anger within me, at first the size of a mustard seed exploded into an enormous tree within the second. " YOU WEREN'T THINKING?!" The volume of my voice shocked Christian, surprising even me. But it did not stop me from continuing, " SCREW YOU. WHAT KIND OF SCREWED UP REASON IS THAT?!"

"Ana!" Christian's arms fell to his side and then reached out to me. I ignored the plea in his voice.

Biting down on my lip, I shook my head even harder. "Stop it." I could not bear hearing him call my name. My mind replays the love in his voice, except this time, he was calling for… Leila.

"I think I should go." I whisper, my hands finding my handbag without so much as a glance.

It was Christian's turn to shake his head. " NO! ANASTASIA, YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME!"

Spinning around, I retreated with quick steps.

"YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME!" Christian hollered, his voice pained.

I stopped in my tracks. My past insecurities had become reality. My voice was even and soft, but I knew Christian would be able to hear me with this swallowing silence. "You're wrong. This time, you've left me."

The tears brimmed over my lids and flowed down my cheeks as I stepped into the elevator. I pressed the necessary buttons, my gaze sweeping and avoiding the look of hell I knew the love of my life was now throwing at me.

Finally, the doors clicked shut and the elevator was zooming down from the tower I once felt loved in.

The moment I hit the streets, the betrayal conquered my bravado hard. My knees crashed against the ground as my body quaked with sobs, as if filling a spot that was now empty, I wrapped my arms tightly around myself in comfort.

Suddenly, a strong need to leave overwhelmed me. I had to get off the street before Taylor or Sawyer got back from searching for me or even worse, Christian decided to give chase.

Fishing for my phone, my fingers worked fast as dialing the one number I knew would make everything better for now.

"Hello?" Ethan sounded scruffy.

Immediately, I felt guilty. "I'm sorry… Were you sleeping?"

Panic rose gradually in his voice, there was no longer any trace of drowsiness. "Ana? Are you crying?"

My bottom lip quivered as another round of tears shook through me.

"Ana? Sweetie? Are you okay?" Ethan bombarded me with questions when he did not get an answer. "Sweetie, where are you?"

I could hear a flurry of movement from over the phone and I realized he was preparing to come find me. "Are you still at Christian's?"

Taking a few deep breaths, I steadied myself to answer. "Y-yes."

I heard a sigh of relief escape followed by the sound of a door slamming. "I'll come get you."

"NO!" My voice rose by octaves. The last thing I needed now was the clash of Christian's details and Ethan.

"Ana?" Ethan's tone was filled with anxiety and confusion.

Without sparing much thought about the lack of funds I had, I retorted with a response I knew well. "Fairmont Olympic."

"The hotel?"

"Yes." My eyes scanned the street as headlights turned the corner.

"Can I come pick you up?"

The familiar SUV came into view and instantly, I dashed behind a pillar. I watched it drive into the parking area. "No. I'll catch a cab." I replied, as another pair of headlights came towards me. Perfect timing, I thought to myself as I hung up, flagging down the cab and leaping into it for dear life.

Even the cab driver picked up on my nasty evening. "Miss?" His tone was spotted with concern as he glanced at me through the mirror.

"Fairmont Olympic Hotel, please." I whimpered, my eyes catching the sight of Christian bursting into the street just as we drove away.

"Certainly, miss."

As the sight of Christian searching frantically for me disappeared, I buried my face into my hands as the waterworks kicked off once again.

"Is everything alright?"

"Stop the car." I shot up straight as a thought crossed my mind.

Almost immediately, the cab driver pulled to a halt, his eyes searching me through the mirrors once again. Opening the door, I flung my phone out onto the streets and then closed the door. Christian can track that for all I cared.

"Please, drive on." I told the cab driver, plastering a smile on my face the best I could.

His eyebrows furrowed, as if trying to determine the reason behind my queer behavior.

My eyes dropped to my feet and my heart clenched. "Tonight, my boyfriend cheated on me with his ex-girlfriend."

I felt the cab begin to move again as the cab driver began reassuring me that everything was going to be okay. But all I could think about was the conversation Christian and I had exchanged earlier.

"_You gave her a bath… in my tub?" I asked, my insecurities waking from their rest and stretching._

"_Yes, I did." His tone was even._

"_And dressed her in my clothes?" My insecurities blossomed, growing larger by the millisecond. Anger coursed through my veins. He had no right, they were mine. _

"_Yes, I did." Something rose in his voice. Discomfort? Guilt?_

"_Did you…" My words got lost, but I found them again after a long while. "Did you have sex with her?"_

_I had squeezed my eyes, hoping he would combust and yell at me for questioning his faithfulness. But he did not. Instead came a defeated confession that I had imagined from day one. "Yes." _

_Fifty shades. _


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: That's what friends are for

"It's really late," Ethan started as he offered me a sympathetic smile. "We should go to bed."

He made cautious steps towards me as if I was a ticking time bomb, about to explode any second.

After the past three hours, I had finally regained some sort of composure. Ethan had met me at the Fairmont Olympic Hotel, offering to check us into a room with his credit card. But then, I had realized that by doing so, it would leave Christian with a trail to follow. I was well aware of Christian's stalker tendencies.

I recalled the moment of utter confusion Ethan had been faced with, uncertainty sweeping over him as to what he should or should not do.

The Fairmont Olympic Hotel had just been a quick decision, made out of desperation to keep Christian and Ethan away from one another. Of course, this hotel had its memories too, coming to mind the moment I needed an escape.

Besides, Ethan had desired to stay with myself or one of his friends on this visit to avoid paying the high fees of a hotel. Agreeing to let him rent us a room would have put a dent to his plans and a hole in his pocket; I could not possibly have accepted such a gesture.

My inner goddess rolls her eyes at me, throwing me a judging glance as she mouths 'selfish'

An hour's worth of explanation on why we could not rent a room and deliberation later, Ethan decided that our only option was to stay with his friend. The same friend he had been comfortably staying with before my selfish rampage. Once again, I had imposed on another innocent person. Ethan had managed to get his friend to consent and we had gotten into a cab.

Once again, my inner goddess throws me a filthy stare as she arches her eyebrow disapprovingly.

The drive was barely five minutes, which answered my earlier question on how Ethan had gotten to the hotel before I did. The entire way there, Ethan kept his arm around my shoulders without saying a word. At a time like this, I was genuinely grateful for Ethan. He never pushed me. He had always accommodated me and looked out for me.

Putting myself in his shoes, I would have straight out demanded an explanation on what was going on. Instead, Ethan had not even raised so much as a 'pip' at the impending situation. He would watch noiselessly as I wept, a hand stroking my back in comfort.

With my legs huddled up to my chest, I tilted my head to the left in question. "You don't want to know what happened?"

Ethan's lips pulled up at the corner. He was smirking at me. "Ana, as I've said," He jerked his head towards the clock sitting on the bedside table. "It's late."

"Bu-"

"But nothing, Ana." Ethan shrugged, stepping towards me. "You look exhausted."

With that, he offered his hand out to me, a gentle smile touching his face.

"But I owe you an explanation."

He shook his head. "You can talk about it when you want to."

Leave it to Ethan to pick up on my vibes. He was right, I certainly did not want to talk about it. I did not want to ruin the tranquility in this room, the comfort I drew from this cozy couch.

When I failed to answer or take his hand, Ethan reached down with both hands and drew me into his chest. As it was unexpected, I gasped and then giggled. Ethan tenderly put me down onto the bed, I caught the glimpse of his smile.

"Well, if you're not tired, I am." He pointed out as he pulled the covers over me and then jumped across me onto the other side of the bed. "I'm dead beat, Ana."

I turned to watch him, his eyes strained with exhaustion. Of course, he had just flown in today and we had been drinking. Suddenly, I felt sick of myself. Why did everything have to revolve around me?

"I'm sorry, Ethan." I apologized.

Ethan sat up slightly and dragged the covers over himself, then shifted to hit the switch by the bed. The room was enveloped in complete darkness. I flinched at the memory of darkness earlier; I had been in a dark place.

Without so much as a caution, Ethan reached forward and grabbed me by the waist, pulling me into his chest once again. I squealed in excitement and he matched it with a tired laugh. Then, he yawned.

He rested his chin gently against the back of my head as his grip tightened around me, pressing my back closer to his chest. He yawned, again.

"Thank you, Ethan." I said before I lost him to sleep.

There was a moment of silence. I closed my eyes, wondering if he had already fallen asleep. Instead, I felt Ethan move his lips towards my ear as her muttered drowsily, "What are friends for?"

Laying there cuddled into his warm embrace, I sent my prayers of thanksgiving to higher authority. Even though Christian has failed me, Ethan was a reminder that not everyone would tumble after Christian. Ethan had not failed me before. He had not failed me tonight.

In this bed, I felt loved.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Aftermath

_Author's note._

_Okay! I wasn't going to post this until a long time later, but seeing the intense response on what happens between Ana and Christian…. Yes. I just want to clarify that I'd like to experiment with Ethan and Ana, but I'm still a hardcore believer in Christian and Ana._

_THIS ONE'S FOR CHARIS. _

Sweat trickled down my forehead and onto my eyelids, stirring me from my sleep. It was really hot. Then, my senses drew my attention to the fact that arms were still around me.

Christian, I thought to myself. He always clung to me in his sleep and last night had not been any different.

My body relaxed at the thought and I began to sink back to sleep, enjoying his embrace a little longer before the alarm went off. Unfortunately, my mind was up and about, beginning to click together information and piecing back the tears in my memories. The events from last night flooded back into my head as the pain pierced through my body.

I winced.

My discomfort must have disturbed Ethan's slumber, as I felt his hold on me loosen and his heavy breathing on the back of my head. In response, I flipped over to face him, letting him pull his arm away from me. Ethan flinched as he recovered the arm that had been tucked under me all night.

"Morning, Ethan." I cheered, waiting for him to fully open his eyes.

A sweet smile played across his face as his eyes met mine, shining in a way that made me bush. "Top to the morning to ya', Ana!" He retorted with a huge grin, trying to pull of some kind of accent that I just could not put my finger on.

I pursed my lips watching him stroke his arm. "How's the arm?"

Ethan laughed, "It's still sleeping."

Was I that heavy? Maybe I was. I had never had Christian's arms under me for an entire night before… Maybe it was because I was heavy?

"Hey, you're light as a feather." Ethan mysteriously picked up on my thoughts, landing a soft punch on my cheekbone. As he stared at me, his blue eyes turned stormy. "Ana, your eyes are so red."

At his words, my right hand flew to my eyes and rubbed against them. Man, were they sore. "I'm alright." I reassured him, tenderly massaging the area around my eyes in attempt to ease off the ache. The only other time they had ached this bad was when my grandma died.

"You're alright." He repeated, as if trying to reassure himself.

I felt the mattress move under me and when my hands fell away, Ethan was out of bed and heading towards the toilet. Licking my lips, I contemplated falling back to sleep.

What time was it?

Sitting up, I reached for the alarm clock and stared at it intently. Finally, the gearings in my brain began clicking once again and my jaw fell. "I'M LATE FOR WORK." I hollered, leaping out of bed and rushing into the toilet to freshen up.

Ethan was brushing his teeth as I budged in, frantically washing my face with water and trying to straighten my attire.

_You're going to work, in that? _My inner goddess sneered. _Way to tell your boss that you never went home. _

She was right. I looked like a mess. My hair was all tangled up and Ethan was right, my eyes were bloodshot red. I had given into exhaustion last night, failing to save my straight shirt and pencil skirt for today. Now they were crumpled. I did not even have my toothbrush.

I groaned in disbelief.

Ethan spat and rinsed his mouth out. Reaching for the face towel, he dried himself up and then turned to face me. He watched me through narrowed eyes, as if he was uncertain if I was stable. To my surprise, he handed me his toothbrush with a cheeky smile. "Brush those teeth."

I stared at him in awe. Which sane person would lend anyone else his brush? A familiar face flashed into my mind and the world came to a halt. Gripping on tightly to the toothbrush, I broke down once again.

"Ana." Ethan's voice soothed me as he took me into his arms for the umpteenth time.

"I'm a mess." I sobbed.

"That's okay, Ana."

I shook my head against his chest. "I need to go to work."

He chortled quietly, my body shaking with is laughter. "Only you, Ana, would think of work at a time like this."

Why did he sound so much like Christian?

"I'm a mess that needs to go to work." I whimpered, letting the waterfall flow into his bare chest.

"Let's handle things one at a time, shall we?" Ethan replied, his voice filled with encouragement. "You can be a mess that doesn't need to go to work."

"No work?" I tested the words, my system grasping the concept. I nodded.

"Call in sick."

My heart sank. "I threw my phone out…"

There was a long pause. I imagined Ethan trying to understand why I would do that, something I had already explained to him yesterday.

"Not to worry." He piped up after a while, "You can use my phone."

Pulling away from me, Ethan offered me a full-blown smile. His hands left my back only to caress my face, his fingers softly brushing away the tears that had made my face their home. "Don't cry, Ana."

I bit on my bottom lip, struggling against the impending tears. My hormones were wrecking me apart.

Ethan took my hand in his and led me back out into the room, then he grabbed his phone off the study table and gave it to me. "Now, I'm going to bathe." He spoke slowly as if I was a toddler. "Don't try bursting into the toilet again unless you want a little action."

I giggled as he threw me a playful wink. Whilst walking towards the toilet, he turned back to check if I was following. He waved his index finger at me like I had been misbehaving. A gurgle of laughter left my lips as he strutted into the toilet. I heard the door creak but it did not close shut.

It was no wonder why spending time with Ethan was always a breather. Somehow, he never failed to make me smile no matter how bleak the situation looked. Suddenly, I was grateful for Kate. If I had never met her, I would have never met Ethan.

Focusing my attention on Ethan's phone, my eyes grew large as I saw the time. I was two hours late for work and even the picture of Ethan and Kate making funny faces on his lock screen could not keep the panic out of my system. Jack was going to roast me over a fire.

"Hello?" I breathed.

"WHO IS THIS?!" Jack's booming voice screeched.

I was in deep trouble. "Jack, it's Ana."

"ANA?! WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?!" He bellowed, the anger undeniable in his tone.

My inner goddess looked up from reading tomorrow's papers, the headlines reading "ANASTASIA STEELE FOUND DEAD OUTSIDE SIP."

"I'm calling in sick." I whispered. "I've been passed out from the meds."

"OH HELL." He shouted. "DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENED THIS MORNING?!"

I really wished he would lower his volume. My ears were getting sore by the minute.

"ANA. THE CEO OF GREY ENTERPRISES INC HAS BARRICADED SIP."

I gasped. "Barricaded?"

Christian?

"HE'S SITTING AT THE FRONT DESK. HIS MEN ARE INTERROGATING EVERY SINGLE EMPLOYEE AND CHECKING THROUGH SECURITY FOOTAGES."

What? "Why?"

"Anastasia." His tone was dead serious, flat and soft. "He's looking for you."

My heart clenched at the thought and I pictured Christian's feet crossed up on the front desk, his icy grey glare searching through the souls of every one who entered SIP. Of course.

"He thinks one of us are hiding you." Jack's voice was low, as if he did not want to get caught talking to me. My mind raced with the thought of Taylor patrolling the corridors and peeking through every office. "Ana, what's happening?"

My heart pounded uncomfortably. "Jack, I can't be found."

"What did you do?" He rasped, as if I had just told him that I had committed a murder.

_More like what did he do_, my inner goddess rolled her eyes.

Suddenly, a door slammed from over the phone and I jumped. " WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO, JACK HYDE?" A familiar voice growled. I grimaced.

"My mother." Jack retorted bravely, injecting as much innocence as he could.

Releasing the phone from my ear, it dropped into my hand and I pressed the end call option on the iPhone just as Christian's voice blasted from the phone. "ANA?!"

Shaking, I took an unsteady step back, my body seething with torture at the sound of my name on his lips. Christian is looking for me. Deep within me, I knew Welch was on my case too and it was only a matter of time until Ethan gets sniffed out.

It then dawned upon me that I had shared a bed with another man, a man that was not Christian. I knew that he would not take it well. Betrayal fueled by adrenaline raced through my system as I clenched my teeth.

_The same way I had not taken it well when he confessed that he had shared more than just a bed with Leila. _


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Egg Benedict

_There's been some commotion about me making Christian a creep. But I thought Ana's reaction was too downplayed in the book. I mean he touched Leila's body (that would be enough to make me kill him for)... What makes anybody think he could resist taking it another level? )': _

_Thanks for all the lovely comments and reviews __ Um, would anybody like my twitter account? It would be nice to get suggestions and all directly and it's easier to interact too!_

Ethan's eyes grew wide, a vast ocean filled with a myriad of emotions. I had watched them play each other out as I told him what had happened between Christian and I. From shock to anger, to hurt, to pain, to utter sadness. He eventually settled on anger, his hands shaking with the emotion conquering his system.

He sat crossed legged beside me on the bed, his hair freshly damp and tousled. I had jumped this on him right after his shower. I flushed as my eyes fell upon his bare chest once again, they were sculpted but not as well as Christian's.

My inner goddess hi-fived me in response, you didn't pinch at his name!

It certainly was getting better. After that phone call and a long time sorting my feelings, I knew that I should not be the one worrying over our next meeting. Christian had cheated and he was at my mercy. I would figure how to handle the pain of seeing him and the torture of talking our issues out later. For now, I had an impending headache from the drinking last night.

Ethan's eyes were trained on me as I woke from my overwhelming thoughts. Very slowly, he emphasized on the words menacingly. " I. Could. Kill. Him."

Ethan killing Christian? That would be highly impossible. But the blood rushed to my cheeks at the thought of Ethan putting himself in that kind of position for me.

Once again, Ethan drew me against himself and I was aware of his warmth. This was what I had slept against last night, steering my dreams clear of nightmares. "I'd never cheat on you, Ana." He leaned down and kissed the top of my head. "Never."

I bathed myself in his words and took comfort in them. Just like Kate, Ethan was there for me too. Kavanaughs were starting to be a steady pillar in my ever-changing life.

"Ethan," I muttered against his skin. "He's going to find you."

My thoughts ran along the movie Taken, realizing that just like Liam Neeson, Ethan was going to be hunted down. Christian did not have a special set of skills, he had a set of men with exceptional skills. Welch. It would not be long now.

Ethan chuckled.

" What?" I piped up, worried that I was driving him insane.

" Saves me the trouble of hunting him down myself, hey?" His tone was taunting, as if he could stand a chance against Christian. "Alright," He pulled back. "Take a shower and I'll bring you out for brunch."

I smiled at the thought. Then shook my head.

His eyebrows furrowed. " What now?"

I crossed my arms against my chest. " Firstly, being out in public eye will make us susceptible!" Ethan digested my words and smirked. "Secondly, I don't have clothes."

Mimicking me, he crossed his arms too and pouted for dramatic effect. " Firstly, Ms Steele. He can't do shit to us in public. Secondly, I left a fresh set for you in the toilet."

" Fresh set?" Had Ethan gone to the apartment?

" My set. I picked the most feminine. " His mouth twisted. " But the flowery board shorts were all I could find."

I could not resist throwing him a bright smile at his thoughtfulness. Ethan Kavanaugh was probably the best thing that came out of this entire situation.

Before we left the apartment, I insisted on making coffee for Ethan's accommodating friend. Even though he was still in bed, hungover I supposed, it was the least I could do.

Ethan landed us at a quiet cafe at a secluded alley, obviously giving thought to avoid Grey's many eyes. Secretly, I wished we did as it would buy us more time together.

Over eggs Benedict and pancakes, Ethan shapeshifted into a story teller. He told me about his adventures overseas and the pain of having Elliott and Kate in his company. Apparently, they could not keep their hands off each other. I winced at the thought and sent Ethan a sympathetic smile.

I told him about work and the most interesting manuscripts I had come across. Most of them were twilight rip offs, but others were pretty promising. It was like finding a needle in a haystack, but the feeling once you did was phenomenal.

Around the end of our meal, Ethan's phone started ringing. An unknown number. Without so much as a thought, he unlocked his phone and pressed it against his ear.

Christian?

" Kavanaugh." He looked perfectly at ease. Maybe it wasn't Christian after all. "Grey."

My heart stopped at the name.

Still composed, Ethan bemusedly took on Christian. " No, I have not seen Ana. But yes, I know what you did."

There were some noises from the iPhone and I knew Christian was threatening him. I had half the mind to reach out and give Christian a massive earful but resisted.

Ethan laughed. Why was he laughing? I shook with curiosity. " I'm pretty calm because I know Ana can take care of herself," he pointed out," She had a life before you, you know that?"

Flexing his fingers, Ethan laughed again. " Not to mention, I know exactly where she is." With that, he ended the call and placed his phone back onto the table. I gawked as he took the last sip of his iced latte and handed a passing waiter a wad of cash.

Turning to me, his eyes blazed with amusement. " Seems to me your stalker traced my call from Jack's phone. I am indeed not his mother."

I recalled Jack's quick cover for me and I could not help but smile along with Ethan.

" Not long now until he puts two and two together." Ethan shrugged, not at all panicking. " Shall we head back to your apartment? Grab some clothes?"

My mouth hung. " It's probably crawling with security."

Ethan leaned back against his chair, " Not to worry, I'm here with you." When I maintained my uncertainty, he added. "Besides, we'll have back up."

" Back up?" I questioned. Who was going to back us up?

My inner goddess shined her grenade, dressed in an army outfit and ready to pounce.

Ethan laughed. Oh, he was joking.

I pouted.

Slowly, Ethan leaned towards me. I remained still as he closed the distance between us, his eyes fixated against mine. Then, he reached forward and touched my bottom lip with his thumb. " You look like a petulant child."

I gasped. How many times had I thought that about Christian?

" Come on, Ana. Let's get you into a fresh set of underwear, shall we?" The intense moment was over as Ethan turned playful.

I blushed furiously knowing where his thoughts were. He had not provided me with a pair of boxers, so I had just simply reused what I had worn the night before. Under his gaze, I felt like he had just exposed me to the entire world.

Yet, the only vibe radiating off him was one of tender love and admiration.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: House Haunting

_Author's note! _

_Hello readers! Thank you for all your lovely comments and reviews, please keep them coming because I really do enjoy them all and will get down to replying them. I would just like to say that I have only read one sex scene in the trilogy and did not understand the terminology and was extremely uncomfortable. Hence, please don't be expecting a wonderful sex scene if I ever get down to writing one. _

_**** I'll be going to China today for two weeks with only my iPhone, so unless they come up with a fanfiction app that allows me to publish from my iPhone, don't be expecting an update. Feel free to follow my Instagram at CatchingMyStars !_

_**** AHAHAHA. But okay, if I do update over the course of the next few weeks, please direct your thanks to my friend Charis, who has agreed to TRY and upload my files which I will send to her via email! _

Right at the front of my apartment stood a pair of men. They were dressed smartly in working pants and button up shirts with office ties around their neck. But what really gave them away as Christian's men were the wires discreetly connected to their ears.

I would probably not have picked up on it, but after hanging around Christian for the past few weeks, I grew more sensitive towards such little gadgets. Sawyer was the only one who ever scratched at it, drawing my attention to its existence.

Subconsciously, I patted down my pockets. Suddenly, I came to the realization that even if we could get past them, I did not have a key. "Ethan?" I said through my teeth, trying my best not to give away our hiding spot.

We were located a few feet away, behind a pillar of another building. Just then, he emerged and swooshed past me, heading directly towards the enemy. I could not help but notice his comfortable strut. Apparently I was the only one hiding.

" ETHAN!" I hissed, striding after him.

Spinning on his feet, he stopped short and I slammed into him. "What, Ana?" His voice was too loud and with too much emphasis on my name.

Out of the corner of my eye, I watched as the men took interest in us.

Looking up at him, I faked a smile. " I don't have a key."

Carelessly, he shrugged his arms. " Neither do I."

Before I could speak, he let out an exasperated sigh as if I was missing the main point. "Anastasia Steele," He said a little too loudly then leaned in to whisper, " Didn't you think I've thought this through?"

Finally, the computer in my brain had finished rebooting and was now up and running. Oh, I was the key.

Throwing his arm around me, he hauled me directly towards the men... Who were on a lookout for me. Their eyes widened ever so slightly at our entrance.

" Boys," Ethan cast them a teasing grin, " I'm sure you know Anastasia Steele here."

They scanned me from head to toe, as if comparing my physical appearance to something they had been shown. My mind skipped to the idea of police dogs, given a scent to sniff and hunt out.

" Yes yes, now. She'd like to get into her apartment."

Hesitation crossed both their faces.

"You don't expect her to break into her own apartment, do you?" Ethan's voice was cryptic. Before they could answer, his arm slipped down my back as he jerked me forward.

Just like that, we had bypassed the two guard dogs.

When we made it to my door, Ethan released me and pushed it ajar. Imitating a gentlemen, he bowed forward as his right arm swept forward. Unexpectedly, he playfully said " Me first."

" Huh?" I was momentarily shocked at his bad manners.

He winked at me, " Have to check if unwanted visitors are awaiting your arrival." Then, he stepped into the apartment as I waited outside.

Ethan was right. The last time I had stepped into my apartment, my world had taken a dive into the dark abyss. Nobody should ever go through the experience of having a gun pointed at them, even if there was a high possibility that no shots would be fired.

On the other hand, sending Ethan in there first would put him in danger! My inner goddess snapped.

My mouth dropped at the thought, "Ethan!"

" Ana!" I heard him holler back, still alive.

I breathed and directed my attention to something else before I could suffer a heart attack. The two men were fidgeting, the taller one whispering into his wire and the shorter one shooting me worried glances.

Worried... For me? No, that couldn't be right. He had just let me pass him and knowing Christian's feisty behavior, his job was on the line.

" Ana." Ethan tapped me on the shoulder and I jumped in surprise. He suffocated a laughter at my reaction and I hit his bicep softly in response, he had taken advantage of the fact that I was on edge. "Go on in, I just need to take this call."

Stepping aside, he whipped up his phone. " Kavanaugh."

He slipped into an intense conversation. Deciding that I should give him a moment, I entered the apartment and shut the door behind me.

The feeling of betrayal slammed into me head on. Standing in this very spot I had not too long ago, the memories overwhelmed me. A paralyzing pain squeezed my heart and travelled up my body. Its cold hand wrapped around my throat and tightened its hold.

I watched the scene play out right in front of me like a bad movie that would not end. Leila's smirk as I was taken away, the moment the door closed, Christian reaching for her...

The chill clenching from both sides of my throat, an involuntary breath leaving my system as the agony compressed my frail heart. Helpless, my eyes followed Christian and Leila into my bedroom.

Once again, my tears blinded me as I realized why he had bathed her after. He bathes after our heated sessions as well. My body suddenly felt filthy at the idea and I fell to my knees, gasping for breath.

" Ana," Ethan's voice was grave and loud from behind the door, " Christian just personally raided my poor friend's apartment."

I heard the door squeak open and his shoes against my floor, fervent arms circled around me and Ethan pulled me down onto his lap. He let me cry as he stroked my hair, over and over.

Even with Ethan's affection, my mind could not overcome the tragedy that had played before me. Christian had never given me a reason to doubt him, unless I counted the fact that he has slept with probably half of Seattle and his bad record with steady relationships.

Resentment filled me as my heart pounded, spinning around my love for Christian. I still loved him, I felt it. But his hands, the same hands that had touched me and then Leila... The waterworks were on maximum and I clung onto Ethan for dear life.

Why couldn't I have fallen for someone normal? Someone who would treasure and love me, stay faithful to me and made love to me. I thought of the filthy word Christian has used to describe out intimacy and cried even harder.

Mentally, I ran through my list. Jose. There was always Jose. He was a pretty nice guy, I had known him for such a long time that...

But he's not Christian, my inner goddess snapped as she rolled her Barbie eyes at me.

My treacherous body chanted Christian's name repeatedly.

" WHAT THE F***?!" That voice.

I lost my heartbeat.

Ethan's was violently torn from me and my eyes flashed open to find Christian glaring at him. Christian was in denim jeans and a white linen shirt with the first two buttons undone. He looked shaken with exhaustion and anger.

Just as I had expected, Christian's strength outdid Ethan's and he nailed Ethan against my wall in a moment of fury. " HOW DARE YOU MAKE MY ANA CRY?!"

Surprisingly, Ethan pursed his lips and shrugged callously, not at all intimidated by the ball of raging angst. How was he so calm? " You mean how dare YOU make Ana cry?" Ethan clarified with a mock angelic tease in his voice.

Christian let out a feral snarl as he raised his fist, building as much distance as he could in order to land a hard one on Ethan.

" NO CHRISTIAN!" I sprung up to my feet and was about to dive forward to take the blow when Christian got knocked onto the ground.

" GO TO HELL, CHRISTIAN TREVELYAN-GREY." Compared to Christian's earlier snarl, this bark was far more threatening in every way.

Elliott lent a helping hand to a fallen Ethan, hoisting him up with a slanted smile.

Momentarily, I was stunned, my words lost to the scene that had unfolded before me. Never before had I known that she had such intense strength, even Christian's eyes were huge with surprise.

"Kate?" I squeaked, watching her wrestle the most muscular man I knew.

I heard Ethan chuckle as he put an arm around me, " Back-up."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Bestfriends

_OKAY! Before anybody can track me down in China and brutally murder me, I just thought I'd kill the suspense. After all, I would have never forgiven anyone for keeping me in suspense for two weeks. _

_I love all your reviews, by the way __ You're a sweet bunch. And thanks for censoring your profanities, it really makes me feel a whole lot better. _

_I've to leave for the airport soon… so here. Presenting…. The much awaited scene! _

The room filled with an angry pounding sound as Kate violently slammed Christian over and over. She had her thighs at both sides of his stomach, pinning him down on the floor. But what really drew my attention was the look of immense suffering that was scrawled over his face.

Certainly Kate was not that strong. Was she?

Then I saw it. She was striking him repeatedly against his chest. His chest. Crap. I sprinted to push Kate off Christian, memories of the agony anyone touching his chest haunting me. "DON'T HURT HIM!"

Elliott beat me to it, easily plucking her from her brother's chest as if she was a shallow weed. Christian remained on the floor, stunned at what had just occurred. I could imagine the torture he had been through. I was never allowed to caress that spot, but here was Kate beating against it!

I thought about slapping Kate, but she was otherwise preoccupied.

"I WILL BREAK YOU APART GREY." Kate thrashed against Elliott's hold, directing her provoking comment at both the Grey brothers.

Ethan stepped to my side and snaked his arm possessively around me. "Let her at it, Elliott. She'll need to get it out of her system either way."

"YEAH, LET ME AT IT!" Kate snapped, her legs coiling around Elliott as she tried to free herself.

Elliott shot him a look, "Let my girlfriend beat up my brother?"

Ethan shrugged, "Your girlfriend happens to beat up her brother all the time." Then he chimed a silly laughter that was way out of place in such a tense situation. "And man, she's brilliant at it."

"You're just weak." Elliott joked back, lifting Kate higher as she tried to stab an immobilized Christian with her toes.

Yet, through their playful jesting, I only had eyes for Christian. "Ethan," I muttered, pushing him away slightly as I took slow strolls towards Christian.

"DON'T YOU DARE, ANA." Kate snarled ferociously.

Before Ethan could grab me, I fell to my knees beside Christian and observed him from behind my front. His eyes flickered to me and I saw that same grey-eyed boy, helpless and defenseless.

_Ana, don't._ My inner goddess was furious, a mirror of Kate's current state.

I desperately hated myself, but I was not myself as my hands reached for the broken little boy lying in front of me. Despite all that had happened in the past few hours, my conscience would not let me bypass this all together. There was nothing within me capable of shutting out Christian and turning him a cold shoulder.

Despite everything, my feelings for Christian had not changed one bit. Even with Leila… My heart had been shattered, hammered into a million of pieces, but only because my love for him was so committed then when he failed to commit, it has broken me.

Like the mother he never had, I tugged him delicately into my chest and stroked his copper hair soothingly. I heard him let out a soft whimper, reminding me of a puppy with a broken leg.

"I'm here, Christian." I mutter against his hair, "Don't be afraid."

"ANASTASIA STEELE!" Kate and Ethan bellowed, like thunder and lightning intensifying my name.

I was grateful that neither came forward to pull us apart, Christian's fragility would not be able to take it. My altruistic mind chose this moment to put me in his shoes. I visualized being left in my apartment alone, left in the quiet darkness, abandoned by the love of my life. Certainly, I had not slept well that night and faced a mountain of work the next morning. Wincing, I realized that on top of such a torment, he had to handle me.

Christian must have sat at his desk all day staring at his phone, willing for someone to call. Anyone except business associates. Welch, Taylor or even Sawyer, someone with an update of my whereabouts. A deep dark part of him secretly wishing I would call him myself but knowing my phone was no longer on me.

My imaginations flew me to his search of my apartment, then my office at SIP and finally, a random man's apartment. It must have torn him apart as well. I grimaced at my ruthlessness. My anger had gotten a better of me. Christian Grey was having just as shitty a day as I had been.

"Ana." He mewled into the fabric of Ethan's shirt.

"Christian." I leaned down and kissed the back of his head.

"You left." His tone was tortured, voice wavering.

The one thing I had promised him I would not do, I had done. But what had he expect my reaction to be after he told me he cheated on me? Did he expect me to still agree to marry him? Did he expect me to congratulate him? What were the right actions under such a crime?

"You cheated." I accused.

With exaggerated slowness, Christian climbed up from my hold and turned to face me. His eyes were scorching grey, filled with too many emotions for me to absolutely grasp. The words were momentarily knocked out of my system.

"Elliott," I heard Ethan try to whisper.

"Don't go there, Ethan." Elliott hissed

"No, no." Ethan defended himself. "We should go."

Christian and I remained staring at each other, our eyes fixated into the other's, unwilling to break contact with each other. The door closed mutedly, barely heard by either of us.

"Ana," My name on his tongue again called for an involuntary wince. In return, his eyes tightened with sorrow. "Ana."

Daggers stabbed themselves into my heart repeatedly, attacking the breath out of me. Even with my profound and complex vocabulary that I had built reading all that publishing material, I could not find any words. None at all.

"Listen, baby." He cooed. I was appreciative of his call, no words would come to me. He sat back against his legs and put both hands on my shoulders, as if trying to steady me to receive the explanation he had been planning.

"She was so broken." He started and I felt my soul detach from my own body, watching him wordlessly and emotionlessly as he continued. "Staring at her, so filthy and so shattered, I just… thought that you could fix her."

Christian ran a hand through his hair, scraping through it with dramatic regret as he recalled his actions. "Ana, you fixed me… you thought me how to make love…"

My heart sank and I knew where he was going with this.

"I felt like I owed it to her, that if I did the same… Leila would begin a healing process like me." The tie to my soul was pulling once again, ready to snap when I realized where he was going with this.

" Something in me just rationalized it." He growled as if he hated himself for even thinking it. "So I bathed her, to get her clean..."

I closed my eyes and my head fell as I readied myself to receive my death sentence. Many a times, Christian had taken me to my edge and pushed me off into the abyss of ecstasy. This time, it was not going to be pleasure. This was going to be far worse than any red room of pain could deliver.

The grim reaper loomed over me, it stunk of death and its bony hands scratched me, alerting me to its presence. It was waiting for the deathblow; it was ready to take me with it.

"Then I made love to her." His voice was a whisper.

He made love to her?

Betrayal tinted every inch of my body, "In my bed?"

"HELL NO, ANA." He was urgent and alarmed that I would think of him in such a way.

Needless did he know, I already did. But still, I heaved a sigh of relief.

His hands moved down to my arms and I flinched, how could he have done such a thing? I was shocked at the way my body reacted to Christian. It once had been filled with warmth at his touch, now, it brimmed with chills.

"Christian," I fought off the tears. "You made love to her."

He was silent, still.

"How could you think that would be any better than f***ing her?" I controlled my speech, trying to keep it neutral and unscathed by the explosions occurring in my body. "You made love to me." I told him, "Only me."

I could feel his hands tense around my shoulders in realization.

"Until Leila." My voice sealed it and without giving him any notice, I rose to my feet.

All along I had thought Christian had merely satisfied his sadistic self by banging Leila in all his kinky ways, blowing her up with pain. Never would it have crossed my mind that he had made love to her, sweet love. Such intimacy was only to be shared between two that loved each other.

Christian's confession had not made me feel better. Not one bit. It only meant he could feel the same way about Leila as he did about me. I was not anybody special to him anymore, just the start of the growing line for people he would make love to.

"Ethan." I croaked, my composure slipping by the second.

Immediately, my front door opened and in stepped my confidante. His eyes were worried, judgmental, uncertain if leaving me alone with Christian had been the right decision. Residing in my newfound taciturn nature, I crushed myself gently against his warm pads, clutching him tightly to me as I broke down.

"CHRISTIAN." I heard Kate's bloodthirsty spit as she made a straight line for the man that had officially shattered my heart and burnt it into ashes, scattering me into oblivion.

My world darkened.

_Have a safe week everyone __ Do read Fifty Shades Abandoned, I thought it was lovely!_


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Hearts and Flowers

Author's note  
_  
To all those haters out there who say I'm stringing them on and all... Just wanted to clarify that this is going to be a long series. Unless nobody wants to see how Christian tries to win her back?_

On another hand, you can just stop reading all together. (sorry for my harshness) There are many better stories, like Fifty shades of crossfire and Fifty Shades Meander.  
-

Ethan stumbles to my side, bending down with the cheekiest smile I had ever seen on a man. "Have you heard of the placebo effect?"

Raising my eyebrows, I shot him an incredulous look. " Yes, I have."

I had once read an entire manuscript revolving around the placebo effect. It was literally and dully titled " The Placebo Effect". That manuscript went straight to the 'No' pile.

"Good." He hands me some milk in a wine glass.

I throw him a confused look and he care freely tossed his her back in a rumbling laughter, " We didn't have wine but it'll make you feel better if you think it is."

Taking it, I returned the smile and sapped at the warm milk. My Mom's words returned to my head : Drinking warm milk before bed is sure to chase the nightmares away.

I suppose Ethan was not all wrong. Good. I'll need it tonight. Besides, my relationship with Christian was still pending, probably too broken to ever be fixed.

After retreating back to Steve's, Ethan's friend, apartment, I had licked my wounds. Ethan had graciously given me the room and half the day to commit myself to solitude.

At first, I had been reeling with anger. How could he have done such a thing with Leila? I got angrier and angrier as I envisioned the two of them together... Christian touching and pleasuring her just as he always did to me.

But then, when my anger died down,

Finally, I had stepped out of the room and into a circle formed by Ethan, Elliott, Kate, Mia and a man who I supposed was Steve. They were all nestled into the various couches forming a half loop around the television.

I thanked Ethan once again and sank down beside Mia on the largest furniture. In response to my arrival, Steve, a clean shaved man, turned the television off. Once again, I felt like a deer caught in headlights.

"Ana." Mia crooned, reaching for me and hugging tightly. Without so much as a thought, I returned the gesture and leaned into her. "Sorry for Christian's behavior."

What was I supposed to say? 'No problem, he's forgiven"?  
Even with someone as persuasive as Mia, I doubt I would get over it that quickly. Maybe, not at all.

All eyes were trained on me, all so similar and yet so different. Mia's eyes were filled with understanding and love. I looked at Elliott and found a pinch of annoyance along side worry. Surprisingly, Kate was sitting across Elliott and not on him. But the fierce tightness in her eyes did not come as a shock to anyone. Then there was Ethan, his eyes saturated with a protectiveness I had seen in action.

My eyes flickered to the clean-shaven man with the cropped short hair. His jaw was chiseled, but amongst the assembly of gorgeous men and women gathered here today, he appeared pretty blend to me. Just to clarify, I gently whispered his name. "Steve?"

He gave me a curt nod and a toothy grin. Seems like birds of the same feather really did flock together. "Anastasia Steele, I gather?"

I flushed. Surely they had been talking about me all day. How else would his eyes be so full of admiration and... What was that? Surprise?

"Thanks for letting me stay." I offered him the sweetest smile I could muster.

Both his palms came up and shook from side to side. "No problem at all, take as long as you need." Before I could input more courtesy, he snapped his fingers as if remembering something. "And thanks for the coffee yesterday morning."

Steve's emerald green fell on his coffee maker and shrugged, "Never knew it could make such good coffee. You have to tell me your secret soon."

"Definitely!" I grinned at him, pride surging through me at his compliment.

" Speaking of apartments," Elliott was serious and he sat up straight to address me. "I was hoping you could come stay at one of our spares."

"Our?" Kate hissed, clearly disagreeing with this suggestion. "Christian's you mean?"

I grimaced at the name. Mia soothingly stroke my back, as if trying to rub the goosebumps away. I sighed and cuddled back into her, grateful for her presence.

"Kate..." Elliott's voice was low and annoyed. Ah, so that's where the annoyance in his eyes sourced from.

Katherine Kavanagh.

Here I was thinking that Kate and Elliott were getting along more than fine!  
_  
It's your fault, selfish. My inner goddess rolled her eyes at me, all sweaty from her workout._

"You can't expect Ana to agree to that." Kate snapped. "She should stay here."

To everyone's amazement, Steve nodded and added, " I agree."

Elliott's killer gaze shot daggers at him from across the room. Kate suffocated Elliott with hers and Ethan's eyes gave her a harsh warning.

Even though they were physically conversing, I was pretty sure that a silent discussion was going on with their eyes. To watch was pretty amusing and I let out an uncontrollable giggle.

All their stares refocused on me, questioning my sanity. "You guys are funny." I whined in defense.

As if catching the joke, Mia caught on and burst into uncontrollable giggles herself. "Oh I'm glad you're feeling better, Ana!"

I nodded at her and gave her a genuine smile. Then, I faced the others and tried my best to convince them. "I really am."

_Nobody but I knew that I had spent the past few hours debating against my inner goddess. She was a feisty one, but she sure knew how to knock some sense in me. Of course Christian had cheated on me and that would call on some resentment within me, but he had a fairly good reason for doing it. Even though misguided to a wide extent, it did show how much I had impacted him. Didn't it?_

Maybe I was losing it or maybe I was just desperate to keep him in my life, but I had emerged from that room ready to try my best to work things out. But Kate was somewhat correct, I was not at all willing to do it right away.

Steve chuckled. "The little lady laughs." And I can't determine if he was referring to me or Mia. "Looks like we all worried for nothing, she'll live."

And then, I knew he was referring to me.

Somehow, even though I barely knew the man, Steve seemed to lighten the mood. Hm. Just like Ethan. I glanced at Ethan and he threw me a reassuring beam, as if he was telling me that the war was over and I was a soldier that had survived.

"Ana," Elliott's tone was still grave, cutting through the light atmosphere like a knife. "You can't stay here."

"Why not?" I groaned. Steve was a hospitable young man I would not mind getting to know better.

Hesitation wrecked Elliott's face as he thought it over, then he sighed." He thinks you're sleeping with Ethan."

_At the tone of his voice, I knew exactly who the 'he' referred to. My inner goddess saluted me for maintaining composure at the indirect address._

"And I've said it many times," Playful Ethan was back, "We did."

_He was the one to accuse me? My inner goddess growled. Christian was turning the tables with no proof at all. No way was I entertaining his childish wants and desires._

Kate reached over and smacked Ethan, "You honestly took advantage of her?!"

Ethan pursed his lips at the accusation, then directed the attention to me. "Would you consider that... Taking advantage of?" Innocence coloured his eyes.

Giving it a once over, I decided to play along. "Of course not," I shrugged, " I'd say I was pretty willing."

"Yeah." Ethan winked at me, encouraging me to continue.

I gave Kate a little wink too, "He's pretty good in bed." And for the first time, I watched her flush. Steve hi-fived Ethan on the sidelines.

"You trying to get back at him?!" Elliott let out a deep growl.

"Oh, no no." I shook my head just as Ethan did. "It just... Happened."

"Oh hell." Elliott blustered, "What do I tell Christian?"

Ethan crossed his legs casually, emphasizing on the word "Everything."

Interrupting the moment, there was a chime by the door. At 11 PM in the night, who could it be? Steve leapt to his feet, "My turn to get it."

Steve strode over to the answering machine. Picking it up, he made a nasty face at whatever was said. "Leave it by the door, thanks." Then he turned back to us and returned to his seat.

"What type?" Mia questioned.

"Sunflowers!" Steve blustered. "Keep this up and I'm going into the flower business!"

There was a round of chuckles and giggles. Yes, Steve and Ethan definitely ran in the same circles. Their personalities overlapped so tightly.

"What?" I quietly asked Mia.

Without so much as turning, Mia let her eyes linger around Ethan. "Christian sends flowers by the hour."

"Half-hours!" Elliott corrected, defensive for Christian.

Flowers? Sunflowers?

_Oh come on, my inner goddess was in her floral dress, you love flowers!_

Yes, I did. Christian was definitely playing the right cards. Almost instantly, I sat up and looked around the apartment eagerly. They were no where in sight, which explained why my nose failed to pick up their delicious scent as well.

Noticing my behavior, Ethan's voice disrupted my search. "They're downstairs," Taking to his feet, he offered a hand to me. "I'll take you."

" Don't look all gloomy, Steele." Kate thundered, her hands resting in between her palms.

" How can I not?" I whined, crossing my legs on the grand couch in Elliott's spare apartment.

" At least he's fighting for you." Kate pointed out.

Since when was she on Christian's team? My subconscious smacked her lips.

Christian had spent the past week sending me all sorts of apologies.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8:

Author's note!

_Sorry for being so snappy the last time! Do thank Charis for the constant uploads. China's awesome, thanks for asking. It's snowing outside. Really feels Christmas-y._

I'm not really in a very angst mood to make A and C argue, and I'm trying to follow the personality of Ana that EL James has provided! Enjoy!  


If I had not known any better, I would have thought somebody died. Even in the darkness, I could see them glowing in the moon's light.

There were beautiful bouquets of a myriad of flowers neatly placed all around. They thickly lined both sides of the steps and spilled out across the pavements.

But I did. This extravagant gesture was Christian's apology to me.

Even the passer-bys were drawn to his sincerity, stopping to take photos by the flowers and admiring the stunning sight. It was completely overwhelming, there must be fifty bouquets at the least.

"He's a great man, Ana." Ethan told me, stroking my hair.

I pondered his words for a moment. Looking around at the many flowers, some common ones that I knew by heart and others that I had never seen in my life, I believed his words were true.

"Man, this assembly of flowers could draw tourists. Some of these breeds are not even from this country." Ethan pointed out, trying to infiltrate my thought process.

"Do you think what he did was forgivable?" I asked Ethan, turning to gage his reaction.

Ethan rewarded me with an apologetic smile,"Ana, everyone makes mistakes."

"But such a huge one?" I groaned," Maybe I barely even know him."

"It took my dad some time to forgive me for breaking that ancient pot holding my ancestor's ashes." He chuckled, as if remembering the funny moment.

"EW." I stated, smacking him on his arm. "How old were you?"

Ethan made a face. "It happened just a few months back."

I gawked at him and he returned the playful smack. "All in all, my dad took some time to come around and sit down to talk to me about it and then he realized I didn't have any nasty intentions."

"Oh? What were your intentions?" Now, I was curious.

Ethan shrugged and stared down at the fresh bouquet of sunflowers. They were gorgeous. "It was on the top shelf, I just wanted to bring it down and closer to us but slipped." Just as he finished, he reached down to pick the card out from the bouquet.

"I'm just saying, talk it through." Ethan sounded unbiased as if he had spent a long while considering both sides of the story too. "Wouldn't want to ruin a good thing beyond repair."

"It's already ruined." I hissed sourly.

Ethan raised his eyebrow, " Do you really think so?"

I sighed, "It's not like he scattered my ancestors' ashes all over the floor..."

Ethan stared at me through narrow eyes. "Exactly. It's not permanent damage. If you're willing to forgive and try again, it can be fixed."

" How are the ashes permanent damage?"

His face turned bitter at the memory. "Some went into the cracks and the rest went into the dog's digestive system."

We both flinched and I mocked puked, shivering off the awful feeling. No wonder why Mr Kavanagh took a long time to forgive Ethan.

Then, his eyes grew urgent and serious. The blue in them dark and haunting. Slowly, he closed the distance between us and I almost notice his lips pucker. My breathing hitched and my heart pounded as he came in closer and closer.

"Ana," He murmured, the tone so intimate that I flushed. I was distracted by the redness in his lips, they looked so soft...

_I wonder how they taste, my inner goddess groaned in anticipation._

"You should be loved and treasured," Ethan stated huskily, "You're so precious."

My lips parted on their own, signifying that I was in approval of the action about to come. Had I ever dreamt of this moment? What would Kate say?

Ethan's breath was on my lips, hot and heavy. Intense. My heart pounded, thrashing against my rib cage. Had I ever imagined a future with Ethan?

To my surprise, his lips missed mine marginally and his stubby chin grazed me. He planted one softly against my forehead. His lips were soft, just as I had expected.

Why didn't he kiss me there?

"This is the last time I'll let Christian get away with it, Ana." He growled against my sensitive skin, with a graver tone now, he repeated the words. "The last time."

I felt his hands fasten around my waist and he pulled me into him. My body had grown accustomed to this warmth, this feel against mine. It was a sense of comfort and a sign of hope.

Suddenly, taking us by surprise, a flood of reporters rushed to the foot of the steps and began flashing their cameras away. All at once, they were shouting questions at me and shoving their recording devices.

"It is said that Christian Grey and you have broken up. Can you comment?"

"Could you give us some insight on the break up between yourself and the CEO of Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc, Mr Christian Grey?"

"Is this man your new lover?"

"These flowers are an apology from Christian Grey, are they not?"

Without so much as a word, Ethan drew his arm protectively around me and steered us back into the building.

What on earth was that?

We made our way up the steps, taking two at a time and clambered into a descending Elliott. He bent down to catch a wink of what was happening outside.

"Damn Paparazzi." Elliott groaned. "Ethan, take Ana up. I'll handle the hounds."

We watched as he maneuvered around us both and trudged down the stairs and out into the crossfire. Like feeding oil to a blazing fire, the noise rekindled and erupted once again.

"Up, Ana." Ethan's hand was on the small of my back, urging me to keep on climbing.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9 : TickTock

**Author's note!**

Sorry if I messed up in the other chapters. I'm typing this out on iPhone, so it's quite... Difficult in a sense. Let me try to clarify a bit. It has not been a week! The apartment scene happens the same day as the confession scene! Also, Elliott only suggests Ana comes live in his spare apartment, she's living with Steve.

**Sorry for the slow update! Charis is away at camp. I somehow managed to land myself a computer. Enjoy! Next chapter coming on too.**  
**  
And I'm sorry! Throughout the trilogy, Ana's not the angsty sort! But hm. Okay. I'll try my best to muster all my angst in the next few chapters! Give this girl a backbone'**

And yes! Charis is super sweet :) everyone say thanks! China's extremely cold, but beautiful when dressed in snow. I've been practicing my Chinese! So yup :) thanks for all your well wishes!

I had just finished taking a shower and was grateful that Kate had brought for me. Checking the bed side clock, it was almost 12 midnight. Ethan was not waiting for me in the bedroom.

A shower had been just what I needed to gather and arrange both my thoughts and feelings. It had been difficult to focus on the betrayal and Christian with Ethan around.

Being by Ethan kept me strangely happy. Besides his humor and actual personality, his senses seemed to be attuned to mine. Whenever I began to drift away and start down the road of memories of a certain CEO, he would reach down and grab me back into his company. I barely found the time to think of Christian at all.

It never occurred to me that Ethan could be more to me than just a mere 'Bestfriend's brother'. Maybe if I had taken a little more notice of him earlier, we would have been closer by now.

In addition, there was his puzzling words about Christian. Since when did Ethan Kavanagh fight on the opposite end of Kate? Since when did Ethan speak in defense of Christian?

After much thought, Christian's flowery gesture did warm my heart. But no matter how much sugar Christian tried to bring into my life to sweeten the bitterness he had caused, it was not going to be that simple.

Sure, I did love the man. But giving him such a response would only indicate that money could buy everything in the world. Even if I did love him, I was not at all sure that I was ready to be his friend again, much less his girlfriend.

Time and time again, I had wondered how I compared to Christian's past submissives. As if my heart and imagination could not torture me enough, I had to actually meet one and then find out that Christian had gone back to her.

My insecurities were through the roof now. I was constantly wondering where I went wrong and unfortunately, I knew where I did. I had not been obedient enough to give him what he wanted, to let him inflict pain on me in order to feed his barbaric hunger.

Before the agony could begin to feed on me as well, I needed to distract myself. Where was Ethan?

Grabbing a comb, I headed out to look for him.

Are they all still here?

When I had came back from the paparazzi attack, Mia and the others had insisted they stayed until I had finished bathing. They wanted to discuss how I should handle the paparazzi as time came. But a small part of me knew it was something greater. Who would want to talk about anything during such an ungodly hour?

I took a step out of the bedroom and into the uneasy gazes of the earlier circle. My body grew alarmed. They bore smiles on their faces but yet, something seemed off. Those smiles barely seemed to reach their eyes, as if they were trying to hide something.

"What are you guys up to?" I raised my eyebrows, drying my hair at the mean time.

I had expected them to have all returned to their respective homes already, it was extremely late and even I would prefer to crash instead of entertaining guests. It also greatly bothered me that we were imposing on Steve.

Elliott was the one to break the ice, "Ana, you've seen the paparazzi."

"Yeah?" I urged him to go on.

"Their ruthlessness, their strength, your susceptibility?" He went around the bush.

I threw him a filthy look. "What is it?"

"For your safety," Elliott began, but then, he got interrupted by a familiar voice resounding from the kitchen.

"Ana," Christian cooed.

I turned to find Taylor and Sawyer flanking Christian, I had missed them when I first came out because they were located at the kitchen. From my experience, there was probably a debrief going on there.

"I'm just here to talk security details." He said, putting both arms up in surrender.

I made no move towards him but scrutinized him from where I am. Beside his men, for once Christian did not look as good. He had lost his glow and his eyes were droopy, dark circles sitting under the grey. Even in his CEO outfit, he looked drained and helpless.

_And it's all your fault, my inner goddess pointed out._

Feeling a tinge of regret, I wondered how a mere person like myself could alter a god like him. Was I even responsible?

Sighing at my lack of response, Christian gestured at Sawyer. "Sawyer will be your personal bodyguard again."

My lips pulled up at the corners. "Sawyer!" I exclaimed excitedly, somewhat missing his company over the last few days.

Sawyer's cheeks turned rosy as he shyly returned a "Good evening, Ms Steele."

Christian's eyes narrowed at my enthusiasm. "Secondly," He tested the word, " I feel that it would be best if you return to Escala."

My smile banished itself from my face and I felt my cheeks heating up at the thought. That jerk thinks he can walk back into my life and demand I bend to his every whim.

"Told you it was a no." Kate chanted from the back, taunting.

"Give me a minute, Ms Kavanagh." Christian hissed back, annoyed. Then his eyes softened upon meeting mine, "I can't protect you here."

"Sawyer can." I retorted.

Christian waved his arms around the apartment, "This place isn't at all conducive. "

An unappreciative grumble vibrated off Steve. "Thanks."

Without so much as a glance to the owner of the apartment, Christian corrected himself. "Sawyer needs a place to stay, it's too small."

There was something in his voice but I just could not put my finger on it. He seemed to be getting increasingly agitated with every mention of my staying here.

"You know what?" I asked him. He raised his eyebrows in answer. "It's late now, we should all go to bed."

"You're right." He heaved a sigh of relief. "Let's go, Ana."

I said the words slowly, "You're mistaken, Christian."  
His joy was short lived as he realized what I was about to say, his lips straightening with his grimace. "Goodbye, Christian."

"She's right, bro." All eyes turned to Mia. "I think we've all had enough for one day." She looked alarm, as if trying to prevent a catastrophe from happening.

This was probably why they had all stayed. They were going to be the buffer between Christian and I clashed. But I still failed to see what would start the fire to the bomb that was Christian Grey.

There was a cold tense moment of silence, the atmosphere was suffocating. It must be the time of the day, my brain was half asleep and unable to pick up on what exactly was going on.

Taking a few long strides, Christian closed the distance between us until I was in half an arms length. I made no move to retreat or advance, staring there at him idly.

"Ana, I just want you home."

"Its Leila's home now." Christian clenched his teeth iust as tightly as he balled his fists. Clearly, my brain was in no mood to make any calculated responses today.

"WHAT THE HELL ANA?" Came a furious shout. The entire room was on high alert, even Taylor and Sawyer leaned forward defensively. Except, they were not backing up Christian, instead, they seemed to be working up to restrain their boss.

From behind me, rumbled a warning direct from Katherine Kavanagh herself. "Watch yourself, Grey." She spat.

Restrain him? I thought to myself. Why would he need to be restrained? This was bad. Picking up on the acknowledgement, I leaned away from him.

Noticing, he lowered his voice to prevent himself from further shaking me. "Is that what you think."

It must be the placebo effect kicking in, because I felt bold. "I know it, Mr Grey."

Christian's eyes knitted angrily, his face reddening along with his emotions. "We clearly need to talk."

Narrowing my eyes into filthy slits, I gave him a taunting laugh. "All the talking is done."

"There's something I have to explain." He tried to reason.

"Another time, Mr Grey." I retorted defiantly, knowing that this attitude would definitely be putting him on an edge.

All his colleagues, acquaintances and staff did as they were told. Well, he was soon going to learn that I was not his submissive and he would not get his way.

My guess was right. Every last bit of composure in Christian Grey vanished in an instant and he bore his teeth. " WHY DO YOU INSIST ON STAYING HERE?!"

With a blink of an eye, the entire scene changed. Taylor and Sawyer had their arms crossed against Christian's chest, like he was a beast about to tear my head off. Elliott placed himself in between myself and Christian, palm in his brother's face.

Christian was crimson, anger torching every inch of his body. Through his eyes, I saw himself fighting against the darkness within.

I was made aware of Ethan and Kate by my side as both brother and sister stroked my arms, trying to keep me calm. Mia, as peaceful as she usually was, had her hold on Kate, attempting to prevent her from brutally tearing her brother apart.

Stepping out from my right wing, Steve crossed his arms as he stared Christian down. "You should leave."

"WHY?!" He directed his holler at me. " FOR ETHAN?!"

I flinched at the strength of his voice, my ears stinging as a result. There it was. This was what had his panties all twisted in a bunch and finally, he had gotten it off his chest. So the ticking time bomb begins.

"Hey, watch it!" Ethan growled back, his voice still much softer in comparison to Christian.

"YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW YOU'VE BEEN F***ING ANA?"

Such a filthy word. "You're wrong." My return was quiet.

"DON'T TELL ME DIFFERENT, ANASTASIA STEELE." Christian flared at Ethan. "SHE'S FUC*ING MINE."

Ethan shifted himself to cover me, protectively shielding me from the threat of an explosion. "GET AWAY FROM HER." Christian tossed himself forward, fighting against the mighty arms of his men. "I'LL FIRE YOU BOTH."

Taylor and Sawyer held their ground, clearly understanding that to let him go would pose a graver consequence.

My judgment skills decided to turn rogue. "We don't f***, Mr Grey. Ethan and I make sweet love to each other."

Then, the richest man I knew threw his men to opposite ends of the room. He lunged for Ethan, pinning him to the ground as he began delivering blow after blow to his jaw.

Please Review :) I love reading them'


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10 : Bruises

**Author's note!**

My thanks go out to Jaxfan. Like, this chick always helps me get my trilogy time line ironed out. I have to be honest that I don't have the books in hard copy. So everybody say thanks (':

"Let me see!" I whined, following many repeated attempts to get Ethan to show me the damage Christian had inflicted.

Stubbornly, he sat on his side of the bed, shaking his head. Thanks to my smart mouth, I had exploded Christian whom wreaked havoc throughout Steve's apartment. Even though Steve claimed to be perfectly alright with everything that had just went down, I felt that he regretted having me over.

Surely staying up past midnight only to witness a fight and then having to shun everybody out was not what anybody would want to do. I would be gravely irritated if I were Steve, but yet, he had reassured me before hustling me back into the bedroom with Ethan.

"Come on, Ethan." I groaned, sitting on my legs to try and lean closer to him. "At least let me try and soothe it."

"It's nothing, Ana." He grumbled back, "I'm turning off the lights now."

No! Immediately, I pounced at him to prevent him from reaching the switch. However, Ethan mysteriously sensed it and spun at the right moment, his palms finding my shoulder blades. He pinned me down against the mattress with a smirk on his face, "Gotcha."

I took the time to study his injury. Strangely, all the bruising and redness was concentrated on his right jaw. He had definitely taken a heated pounding, the bruises an array of colours ranging from red to green to purple and blue. There were even observable lines at certain areas, an indication of Christian's strong fist.

Flinching, I wondered how Christian had managed to beat him up that badly in such a short moment. It had only taken barely a second for Taylor and Sawyer to drag Christian off Ethan and out of the apartment.

His blue eyes tinted with annoyance, "It's nothing, Ana."

"It's not nothing." I insisted, sadness colouring my tone. "I'm really sorry."

Ethan smiled a genuine smile and shrugged, "Well, apology accepted."

"Can I press a warm towel against it? I think it'd help." I suggested.

Considering it for a brief moment, Ethan shook his head once again. Oh, the stubbornness of Ethan Kavanagh could rival his sister's. It must run in their blood line.

Then, something shifted in his expression. His breathing became heavier, his palms releasing me only to press against the sides of the mattress by me. "Ana," he sounded sexily husky. "I didn't..."

I waited patiently for a response, watching the soldiers within him battle it out. There was a war playing out in his beautiful blue eyes. Then, a side won.

He cleared his throat. "Ana, I didn't want to complicate things earlier."

"Complicate?" I pressed. Was that why he had not struck Christian back?

A flush of colour dashed his cheeks and he glanced at me nervously. "With Grey."

Since when was Ethan one to blush? "Grey?"

"Yeah, I felt that there was already too much going on between the both of you." He started. "And your thoughts must be in a mess."

I nodded, Christian really was my undoing.

" I didn't want to step into the picture to further.. Complicate things." He almost choked on his words.

"Step into?" Honestly, I knew he was trying to get at something, but I just could not figure out what.

Realizing my utter blur nature, Ethan pursed his lips. Suddenly, he bent down and pressed them against mine. I was taken back to today's recent events. They were soft against my forehead and now, they were phenomenal against my lips.

But yet, I could not help compare them to Christian's set. The first time he has planted one one me had been mind blowing, igniting all desire I had never knew existed within me.

So this was what Ethan was referring to! Not the clash between Christian and himself.

Ethan was kissing me. I felt his lips part and followed suit, the warmth passing through us, sharing. It was a comfortable kiss, his style accommodating and giving, barely leading. This was different to me.

One of his hands cupped my right cheek as he deepened the kiss. He pressed his chest to mine and I felt his legs shuffle to come between mine. It sent a warm tingling sensation through my body.

His tongue entered my mouth, as if asking permission. In response, I met his with mine. A wave of pleasure swept through Ethan and I felt him shudder against me as he caressed my tongue with his own.

It was unlike Christian's active intrusion, setting off an instant combustion. Ethan was gentle and soft, slow and passive, a fire slowly starting in my body. It was like a mother waking her child, giving him time to adjust and respond to her touch. This was refreshing.

Lust taking over, my legs parted on their own and Ethan sank. Then, something scorching warm and rock hard bumped against my groin. I flinched. Immediately, Ethan fell back to his side of the bed and turned the light off.

Our moment was over.

I lay there panting, gasping to recover from the situation. Ethan had just kissed me. Deeply. "What was that?" I asked breathlessly.

It took a long time before he responded. "Something I've been wanting to do."

Ethan likes you? My inner goddess gasped. Just like Christian said he did!

"So earlier... With the forehead?"

"I didn't want to mess with your feelings," He explained as we both stared into darkness. "I didn't want you to feel like I was an alternative until I could offer you a steady life."

"A steady life?" I repeated his words, not comprehending. So I had not imagined that mere brush against my lips ahead, he did want to kiss me.

He chortled a strangled laugh. "Well, lets not lie to ourselves." I heard him get under the covers. "Grey has set the bar high."

"It's not money I want." I assured him, proceeding to dive under the blanket too.

"I know, Ana." I felt his arm reach out for me and pull me in. "But even now, I'm physically unstable. I don't have a fixed place to stay."

My apartment came to mind. "You can stay at Kate's apartment." Because I sure was not.

"Ana, I need to go back and handle some cough ups for my Psych course."

"When?" My voice was shaky, I had never imagined facing any of this without Ethan.

I heard him hesitate. "But given the situation, I wonder if its better I remain with you."

Selfishhhhhh, my inner goddess sang.

"No." I whispered. "I'll have to handle it." I swallow.

"With the paparazzi and all, Ana." He was safely coursing around Christian's name. "How will I know that you'll be safe?"

Never before would I have foresaw myself faced with the problems I was now having. The paparazzi had never seemed to be a problem, though, I was vaguely aware of how ferocious they really were.

Maybe I would be able to fight them off after a while, but I knew it was only a matter of time until I cracked. They were after Christian's secrets and I had signed an NDA. Neither did I want to return to either of my parents' place, it would be like bringing the curse to them.

Somehow, I had a feeling it was all about to get worse. Much worse. A person of Christian Grey's calibre, an almighty pillar of the nation, would definitely call for huge media coverages. Everybody wanted a piece of Mr Grey, to get their hands on scandal-worthy material.

There was only one way out of this. Even if I did not like it one bit, I had to accept his protection, I had to learn how to handle the oncoming reporters from the man himself. If I failed to do so, I would never be able to get back to work. Jack Hyde was probably about to hand me a pink slip.

"Don't worry about it, Ethan." I attempted to be convincing. "I'll have Christian." Turning my head, I planted one under his jaw.

Ethan stiffened.

"I'm really sorry about Christian." I mumbled, settling back into the crook between his chest and arm.

He kissed the back of my head," He deserves you more than I do."

"Why?" I growled. "He cheated on me. You didn't!"

"Yeah, but he saw what he wanted and had the courage to reach out and grab it." There was a colour of admiration in his voice.

What Christian Grey wants, what Christian Grey gets.

He sighed. "I on the other hand, kept thinking if I wanted to pursue you. And to be honest, I'm still not sure."

So there it was. The key flaw that separated Christian from Ethan. Christian was hardly, if not never, uncertain. He was decisive. Ethan just admitted to having second thoughts about his feelings for me.

If only life would be simple. Kate, Ethan and I would be as close as a family. I would marry my best friend's brother and lead the happiest life I could ever have.

But life was not simple. I had met the CEO of Grey Enterprises Holdings and my life was like a roller coaster. There was hardly any future with Ethan to explore, because I had fallen in love with Mr Christian Grey.

There was still something I did not get. "Why were you convincing me to forgive him, earlier?"

Ethan sighed, "Elliott."

Elliott? What had he done?

"He spent eons persuading me to see Christian's side, kept telling me how broken he was after you left."

"How broken?" I whispered, recalling Christian's disheveled appearance earlier today.

"Like drunkard breaking furniture broken." Ethan was firm serious.

Oh hell. He destroyed Escala?

"And then that younger sister?"

"Mia?" I pitched in.

"Yeah. After she was done with me, I felt like I was completely won over by the Greys."

I let out an uncanny laugh. "She does have that effect on people."

"Yeah." He chuckled back. "Something about those gorgeous eyes of hers."

"So... Mia huh?" I teased him.

"Only you, Ana." Ethan coiled his arm around my waist. "Would tease me about another girl after I've just confessed."

I gave it a thought. Defensively, I groaned. "It's late and my brain's malfunctioning."

"Alright, another time." He repeated my words. "Goodnight, Ana."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11: Harassing CEOs

**Author's note!**

Hope you've been enjoying these chapters! It's been a joy writing :) I won't be writing a CPOV, because I lack the experience and finesse to capture such a dark character. Feel free to drop suggestions and all your nasty/nice reviews :) I have zero anger issues, so do lay it on me.

I do however, would like to know if you guys want to see more of Ethan and Ana? Thank you!

China has been great! My eye is swollen, so the Chinese have given me boiled eggs to press against it. Magically, the swelling is... Vanishing! Here's another chapter :)

I am thoroughly enjoying Fifty Shades of Cross Fire! So do check it out!  


Ethan and I stirred at a furious banging sound. The room was still cool, indicating that the sun was yet to be fully up.  
The banging continued, escalating a few notches.

Was Steve renovating?!

"What time is it?" I whispered, refusing to open my eyes.

There was a rustle of sheets and a groan. "Not even seven."

I matched his groan with my whine. "Back to bed man."

"Yeah." He mumbled agreeably, snuggling back down into me.

The pounding ensued. "I'm going to kill Steve."

"ANASTASIA ROSE STEEL." Oh fishing hell. "OPEN THIS F****ING DOOR OR SO HELP ME I WILL BANG IT OPEN."

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU ETHAN." Steve's annoyed shout competed against Christian's.

"Consider me dead." Ethan sighed. "Shall I handle this?"

My eyes fluttered open and I sat up lazily. "Nah, let me deal." After last night, I had sorted my thoughts and realized that the only way to pass this hill was to move back in with Mr Grey.

"Yell if you need me, Ana." Ethan placed his arm over his eyes and fell back into slumber.

I smiled at his sleeping posture and planted one on his forehead. Gah. The bruise on his right jaw had evolved, making him look like he had been struck down by a disease concentrated only there.

Christian was not going to stop. I knew how his insecurities would eat away at him and he would lash out in his extravagant tantrums until I put an end to it. Ignoring Christian's hollers that were now accompanied by the whines of Steve's poor neighbours, I gathered my belongings and stuffed them into my bag.

Casting one last glance at an Ethan who was sleeping like a baby, I stepped out into the cold and empty living room once more. The last time I had been here, a fight had rang out. Now the fight would be moved out into the corridor. Whatever Christian was barking about definitely had to be bad and about me.

My hand wrested on the chilly metal handle of the main door, it rumbled as an impending force ripped at it on the other side. I thought about Steve's defenseless neighbours up at such an early hour today, and given such an ungodly hour to sleep last night after the racket we had caused.

What I was about to do next would jeopardize my entire character, it was something I would never do. But it was a sacrifice I had to make. I turned the handle and was stared head on by a seething ball of fury.

As if he was building up steam to work up sufficient energy to release a full blow on me, he shook violently and his face dropped shades of red. His fists were clenched tightly, one strangling a newspaper for whatever queer reasons Mr Grey had.

Bearing his teeth, I knew he was about to howl. I intercepted, waving my bag in his face. "Let's go to Escala."

The effect was instant. Gone was the anger, which was now replaced with a mask of confusion. Yes, I had gone without a fight. With Ethan's talk last night and a brutal round of deliberation, I had decided to treat this situation like a plaster. I definitely wanted Christian and I to work through this, no matter how we emerge from it. So the best way to do it was to rip the plaster off quickly, not slowly and painfully.

That was what I was going to do. I was going to close both eyes and jump back into the tower of my somewhat boyfriend-fiancé who had recently cheated on me with his exgirlfriend-submissive who was an improved and more stunning version of me.

_Good job, Ana. My inner goddess said sarcastically as she assessed the situation behind a magnifying glass._

"Right...now?" Christian sounded just as puzzled as I knew he would be.

"Yes, if you'd get out of my way." I sneered, shaking my stuffed backpack.

I watched him briefly accessed the situation, then he threw Taylor a questioning glance that read 'What the hell is going on?'. Taylor shrugged back in disbelief.

I cleared my throat. They refocused on me.

"Right, Taylor." Christian gesticulated. "Take Ms Steele's bag."

I walked down the corridor with my eyes cast down, trying my best to avoid the stern looks the others were shooting at us.

The ride to Escala was brutal. After about a millennium of awkward silences and sneaky glance exchanges between Taylor and Christian through the mirror, Christian finally decided to break the ice.

"Ana," He began, "How are you?"

I had a few questions of my own. "What are you doing this early?" Before he could answer, I added, "Does Dr Flynn approve of your harassing the innocent commoners?"

The anger returned into his system and in answer, he grabbed the newspaper he had been clutching earlier and plonked it down on my lap. Right on the front cover was a picture of Ethan and I that had been taken when the paparazzi had jumped us for the first time.

"Oh please." He spat viciously. "You're far from innocent."

So this was what Elliott and the others were warning me against. The hounds. I could see why Christian would be furious. The headlines read "GREY FILTHY BUT OUT OF LOVE" . My heart pounded choppily in my chest. My mom would read this, Ray would read this. Hell, the whole world would.

I was going to have to explain myself. Where the hell was my hand phone? Oh yes, I threw it out a few days back.

_My inner goddess applauded me once more, keeping the sarcasm up._

Unfortunately, it was hard to make it out as the paper had been crushed and un-crushed repeatedly, ripping the material and making us almost indistinguishable. I could just make out Ethan's arms around me and the flowers surrounding us.

There was no way I was going to correct this picture anytime soon. This jerk deserved no better. "I'm sorry, what am I supposed to see?"

There was a sharp intake of breath and Christian snatched back the paper. "ETHAN AND YOU DISPLAYING YOUR AFFECTION FOR THE WORLD TO SEE!"

"Stop shouting at me." I commanded, shooting him Kate's killer glare as I did.

His eyes widened at my defiance, but I watched him rationalize it out. He was still drawing rapid and staggering breaths, trying to calm himself down once more.

This time, I had no buffer to keep me unscathed from the explosion.

"What I do with Ethan has nothing to do with you." I told him, dropping a pinch of arrogance in my tone.

"WHAT THE HELL, ANA." There he goes again.

I am vaguely aware that Taylor picks up speed.

"Look," I placed both hands in the air. "My returning to Escala doesn't change a thing."

Christian pained at my words, his body slanting towards mine. "Ana, we need to talk."

"So you can describe every detail of your love making with Leila to me?" I snapped.

"ANA." He groaned.

Taylor flinched, I guess he did not know that part.

"Bet I could sell these hounds that information." I was now pretty sure I was PMSing because my angst had murdered my basic common sense.

A violent snarl ripped out from Christian and was echoed by Taylor. "DON'T. YOU. DARE."

As if I was mentally dragging him off the cliff, I continued. "I mean, I'm pretty much out of a job, so I could use the money."

By the glint in Christian's eyes, I knew he was calling my bluff. But then again, the agitation was stirring within him.

"I might even write my own book about this." I blustered, taunting him further. "It'll be called 'Fifty Shades of Infidelity'."

He narrowed his eyes.

"I can see it now." I swiped my palm out, as if I was imagining. "New York Times Best Seller for an entire decade."

"I wouldn't see why you'd need money." Playful Christian was back on. How mercurial. "How much do you want, I have a cheque book here somewhere."

Pursing my lips at his smirk, I decided to play along. "25 would be enough."

"25 million?" He tried.

Amusement played across his lips as I sucked in a breath. I will not lose. "Seeing that you're paying me to take your secrets to the grave, billion should be about right."

Christian was impressed. He reached past me to pull out a gold-covered cheque book from the seat pocket. "25 Billion it is."

My mouth hung. Realization kicked in. He was seizing this opportunity to shove his money down my throat, just like he had always wanted!

"There's a reason why I can afford this cheque and why the paparazzi are stronger than ever." Christian barely even looked at me as he filled in the cheque.

As if I was oblivious. Christian Grey, Multi-billionaire.

I rolled my eyes at him.

"I don't expect you to know, since its yet to hit the publishing firms, but I just sealed a very important deal with the North Koreans."

So what did that mean?

Christian laughed, effectively turning the tables. "I just made it to the world's top 20 richest people."

Holy hell. "Multi-" We said the word with different intonations. "Trillionaire."

"It's not even a word." Christian sighed with a teasing edge. Then he handed me the cheque.

My hands went clammy around the flimsy piece of paper. Surely he would not just give someone such a huge amount of money... Right? I knew I was shivering in fear of what I would see.

Looking down, there was my full name scribbled in the most beautiful cursive handwriting. Underneath it was what stole my breath. "25 Billion dollars." I stated matter of factly. There was his glorious signature to make it all official.

He was arrogant. " We aim to please, Ms Steele."

Do it, Ana! My inner goddess cheered my subconscious on.

Attempting to turn the tables once more and brutally infuriate him, I nodded at him with the brightest smile I could force.

Winding down the window with a certain grace, I stuck my tongue out at him. "We aim to please, Mr Grey." With that, I let the cheque get swallowed by the wind and it was swept away and out onto the road.

Playful fifty was gone. I had succeeded and Christian Grey's eyes were now blazing, scorching even. It sent shivers down my spine. Just as he lunged for me, Taylor pulled up at Escala.

Christian's body flew forward, hitting the back of the front seats and most importantly, missing me. I did say I was returning to Escala, but I never said I was going to be pleasant to keep around.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12: HeartBreak

**Author's note!**

**Chapter 11 happens after Ethan and Ana have their kiss in bed. Ethan will reveal his motivations of pretending he's slept with Ana and as you've all requested, Christian will reveal everything he has done with Leila. **

**In addition! My story takes place after Christian reveals everything about his mom and asks her to marry him. Hope it clears up some confusion!**

**Please do leave a review so I know where to better improve! Thank you. **

Even though I had leaped into the lift and furiously pressed for the penthouse, Taylor had stepped in to prevent the doors from shutting. He cast me a reprimanding look like I was a child who just did something very naughty. We waited patiently for Christian and Sawyer, who had picked up the cheque and joined our group.

"Mr Grey." Taylor nodded at his boss and moved aside, allowing Christian to take his place.

The doors shut as Taylor and Sawyer stood in the foyer, their lips pressed into tight lines. Very subtly, I cringed towards the elevator walls, knowing full well what sexual tension this lift coerces out of our systems.

Christian stared ahead at the metal. He made no move to engage me, which was probably his way of punishing me for throwing out such an expensive gift of his. If I had accepted that money, I would have sealed my own reputation as a whore.

A really expensive whore, my inner goddess smacked her lips. She was styled in designer wear from head to toe and was currently deciding which of her over the top handbags would match the best.

It seemed like light years before the elevator doors opened, the two men already awaiting us in the apartment.

"What would you like to do today, Ana?" Christian asked without so much as a glance at me, strolling out of the lift.

"I think it's only right if you go see Dr Flynn." I replied, giving him the cold shoulder.

Spinning around in his leather shoes, Christian silenced me with his intense gaze. "As a matter of fact, he's scheduled here in a few hours."

"Well, good." I retorted, rolling my eyes as I skipped past him and made a beeline for the kitchen.

Mrs Jones greeted me with a beam. "Breakfast for you, Ms Steele?" She chirped, brightening my day instantly.

I shook my head at her and seized one of the high stools. Christian arrived shortly, hovering behind me. "Don't roll your eyes at me, Ana."

"I'd say don't cheat on me, but you did anyway." I muttered under my breath, too quiet for Christian's deaf ears to pick up on.

But Mrs Jones did and she flushed the brightest red, shuffling out of the kitchen at a worrisome speed.

"What was that, Ms Steele?" Christian questioned, his voice edgy.

"Nothing." I responded, swiveling in the chair. Quickly, I changed the subject. "The cheque?"

I heard him sigh from behind me. " It's in it's billions, it won't make it through the bank that easily. I'd have to clear it first, so nobody will be that much richer if they pick it up."

Good.

"Ana, we need to talk about Ethan."

"No, we don't." I snapped.

"You've been..." He searched for the right word. "Sleeping with him." There was bitterness and anger within that tone and my own began to rise. What right did he have to judge me?

"An eye for an eye, don't you think?" I hissed smartly.

I heard him groan. "Turn around, I want to look at you when we talk."

"We're not going to talk about Ethan and I." I stated firmly, annoyance dripping in my words.

He was raking his copper hair with both hands now, I could see it through the marble of the bar. I was definitely getting under his skin and rubbing him in all the wrong places.

"BUT YOU ARE MINE, ANA!" I jumped at his volume. "YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BELONG TO ME!"

I clenched my fists as he continued. "IT MADE ME SO FURIOUS WHEN I FOUND OUT FROM ELLIOTT. AND TO HEAR YOU CONFIRM IT. HECK, ANA!"

He walked towards me, shaking in anger. "YOU'RE MINE, ANA! AND NOW YOU'VE SHARED YOURSELF WITH THAT F***ER."

I was not going to sit here and let him talk about Ethan in that manner. "Are you done yet?"

I was not going to give him the satisfaction of clearing my name in his mind either. Landing on my feet, I turned to wave at an seething red Christian. "You ruined my morning, so let me sleep."

For some reason, his face softened. "Alright, I'll join you." He said through gritted teeth, his anger not fully under control.

The anger rose within me and my eyebrows knitted together, I narrowed my eyes into slits once more. The idiot thinks he can waltz back into my bed after what he had done. Okay, maybe it was his bed, but still.

"Nah thanks." I snapped once again, sarcasm stinging strong. Turning on my heel, I stalked pass the main bedroom and up the stairs.

"Where are you going?"

"Up to the sub room," I explained, "Where I belong?"

"Ana, don't!" He sounded alarmed, panicked.

I could hear my heart stop, my chest constricting so tightly that I was barely able to breathe. It can't be. My brain continued to work it's way around the situation, calculating, rationalizing.

Christian's worry... I had left him alone for a long time. It was possible. It was plausible. Hell, I was certain of it. I felt the tears in my eyes build up, threatening to brim. The agony was overwhelming. It was as if I was struggling to stay afloat, flailing my arms to stay afloat in our relationship.

Trying to maintain my composure, I rotated myself to face the cheater head on. The grey searched me, alarm clear in them.

I envisioned myself opening the sub room only to find Leila's belongings occupying every inch of it. The idea was torturous enough, stepping on my neck and suffocating me. She would meet him in the right position every few hours in the playroom. I would sit in a new room, listening to what I failed to do for him. That she could.

My inadequacy.

"It's Leila's room now, isn't it?" Then, the dam broke and a flood of tears washed over me.

Christian hurried to me, but I shoved him away. He recoiled, stung by my rejection. I began heaving as the tears picked up strength. She would appear now, somewhere. Or had Christian sent her out of the apartment for now?

"Baby," he crooned, hurt clear in his voice. "Leila's gone. I sent her to a psych ward out of state."

That took me by surprise. He sent her away? "Why?" I sobbed.

"She's very sick, Ana." He took a wary step towards me.

He made love to her, then he sent her away. He made love to her when she was mentally unstable. If that was the case, his making love to her clearly did not 'heal' Leila at all.

"Ana, I don't love Leila." Another step.

He cautioned me with his eyes, as if he was a hunter cornering a deer. Any wrong move, any wrong speed, would send me fleeing.

With exaggerated slowness, he said firmly. "I. Love. You. Ana."

Suddenly, he was too close. His words were too wrong. Everything felt queer. I felt trapped. I covered my ears with my hands, pressing against them tightly as I bolted up the stairwell.

"ANA!" I heard him yell after me.

But by the time he had realized I was gone, I had already covered so much distance that he was unable to catch up in time. The moment I burst through the sub room, I slammed the door behind me and locked it.

My eyes searched the room. It was empty. I just could not understand. Surely, I had expected her to be here. Christian must have lied, I wanted to prove to myself that he did. But here I was. In a deserted and chilly room.

Leila's voice filled my mind. "All alone."

I sunk to the floor by the door, surrendering to the pain that was swallowing me whole. "Ana." Christian's voice soothed me from behind it. "Open the door, sweetheart."

I cupped my ears harder, sealing any gaps between my fingers to try and keep him out. But it was to no avail. "Ana, please don't cry."

So I didn't. I wailed at the top of my lungs.

Everything was so wrong. Everything was so broken. We had been getting along so well, he shared his darkest secrets, the ones I had been craving for since day one. He even asked me to marry him. I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned into the door for support, shaking as my tears tore me apart.

Christian had swept me off my feet. I had given him my heart, my all. And in return, he had cheated on me. Now, without Ethan, my situation was devout of any humor. Nothing about it was funny.

"Ana, baby." Christian tried again. "You're all there is to me. Please don't cry."

As much as his sweet words could do, it only made matters worse. How could I mean as much to him as he said I did but still, he cheated on me? How? This was not possible. So that must mean he was lying.

"I hurt you, Ana." I heard him drop to his knees. The door quivered slightly as he hit it on his way down. I opened my eyes to see the silhouette of his knees beside me, just through the door. His next words were almost inaudible. "I'm sorry I did,I'm sorry."

Christian and I were both breathing heavily against the door. He was just there. So close but yet so far.

As if he was a strong magnet, my treacherous body responded. I swiveled around to face the door and gently placed my palms against it.

Still sobbing, I closed my eyes and pressed my ear against the door, imagining his arms around me. I willed everything to be okay. My body desired him, my heart still belonged to him, but every time I looked at him I was reminded of his betrayal.

"I'm sorry, Ana." He whispered, I could hear his breathing stagger. "I don't want to lose you."

My heart had been shattered into a million pieces and it was beyond salvage now. He had always used that same words to assure me of his love. But just as I had said from the beginning, I was never going to leave him. He had left me on his own.

"Can I come in?" He asked for permission. When I didn't answer, he spoke a little louder. "Ana, baby? Can I come in?"

_Yes! My inner goddess cheered, itching for us to kiss and make up. _

I knew that I had only managed to rationalize my coming back to Escala because deep down, I desperately wanted to be by Christian's side. No matter what he had done, I was not able to slaughter that part of me that wanted him to be mine again. Truth be told, I was weak for Christian.

Despite everything, I still loved him. But every thought of him with Leila, kept the distance between us growing.

"Ana?"

"No." I countered, the tears still fresh and flowing. "Please. Don't come in."

There was a long pause. "Ana, I'll be here for you." Another tear slipped down my cheek. "Always."

**Leave a review!(:**

**Merry Christmas and a happy new year, everybody!**

**Take a listen to : Holding on and letting go by Ross Copperman! **


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13: Lies and Deception

**Author's note!**

**Merry Christmas everyone :) Hope this clears up all the doubts!** **Don't kill me for this chapter. Please kindly take note that this is the LONGEST chapter I have ever posted!  
**

I smell something. Something good. And my eyes flutter open, though still sore over a long crying session that had exhausted me to the point of sleep. Mrs Jones must be cooking. My stomach growled in response.

What time was it?

My lacking of a phone was sure starting to prove to be a burden. I scanned the room until I saw the clock that hung against the wall. I had slept through the past two and a half hours.

_Lunch time! My inner goddess sang, putting on her eating bib and sitting by a long table awaiting food._

As if instinctual, I lowered my head to the bottom of the door. It was pure brightness, no silhouettes and no movement. I supposed it was was safe to leave. Standing, my heart pounded at the thought of Christian leaning against the wall waiting for me.

I closed my eyes and twisted the door handle, pulling on it to break the walls of my fortress. I was now susceptible to the darkness outside. My breathing halted in anticipation.

Yet, there was no sound. I had not been attacked by a certain CEO. I was still standing. Very slowly, I cracked a slit through my right eye and instantly felt stupid. There was nobody waiting outside, it was empty.

I was momentarily disorientated by the alluring smell of food, drawn to it, my body trailed after it like ants after candy. I went down the stairs and into the living room.

"How nice of you to join us, Ms Steele." Dr Flynn's professional voice greeted me as I entered.

Christian set across him in the room, directly across and a long distance apart as well. His back was facing me, so I was only embraced by the welcoming smile of his shrink.

Mrs Jones gave me a bright smile as she zoomed past me, an entire tray filled with a myriad of food. There was Mac and Cheese, Sushi, Sandwiches, Pasta, Beef and so much more that I wondered how she could carry it all by herself.

Gently, she placed them down on the long marble table that separated the two men. My eyes fell upon the couch that was nestled in between them too, in front of it was a cup of tea already waiting. It was thin and freshly hot, the soaked Twinnings tea bag resting just by it.

They were expecting me. My brain clicked together and I felt like a mouse being led to a mouse trap, cheated by the smell of cheese. I was set-up.

"You must be hungry," Dr Flynn confirmed my suspicions. "Please, have a seat."

Knowing that I was pretty much defeated, I obediently made my way to my assigned seat. Maneuvering around Christian, I made absolute sure not to rest my eyes upon him for too long. Stealing a glance, he has his elbows against his knees in response, eyes trained ahead at Dr Flynn.

I could not help but pick up on his resemblance to a trained beast, fighting the urge to rip every body apart. Dr Flynn being his skillful trainer, he kept a wary watch on Christian.

I settled myself into the couch and sipped on my tea. It felt good down my throat. Mrs Jones lay down a set of cutlery and a plate before me, urging me to begin the feast. I glanced at Christian and then Dr Flynn. "May I..."

"Of course." Both Christian and Dr Flynn said in unison.

Nodding in consent, I started on the carbonara as it was closest to me. Christian reached for the sushi and plonked one in his mouth.

"Ms Steele," Dr Flynn began. "I'll be facilitating your first proper interaction with Mr Grey."

Well that was straightforward.

"I understand that there are plenty of misunderstandings between the both of you and we will work on clearing those out this session." He states, picking up his notepad.

I swallowed my mouthful. "It's barely misunderstandings. He's a cheater."

I heard Christian hiss in agony. Dr Flynn took note of that, "Ms Steele, we'll be working on facts today. So lets leave the personal emotions out."

"It's a fact." I argued, pushing the pasta away with my sudden lack of appetite.

Dr Flynn threw me a punishing glare. "I believe Mr Grey has something he'd like to give you."

I almost said something sharp and snappy, but Dr Flynn's stare held me in my place. Christian leaned towards me and stretched his palm out to me.

"MY PHONE!" I chirped, grabbing it and hugging it to my chest.

"It's brand new actually," Christian informed me. "The previous one hit the ground rather... Harshly."

Oh right, I had thrown it really hard against the pavement. Christian had gone to look for it? Of course he did. Christian's stalkerish nature knew no bounds and his money empowered him further.

"Anything to say, Ms Steele?" Dr Flynn resembled my father.

Mustering as much sweetness as I could, I turned to Christian with a sickening smile. "Thank you, Mr Grey."

He returned the smile genuinely. "My pleasure, Ana."

Quickly, I unlocked my phone to find a whole list of miss calls. My mom, Ray, Kate and Jose, Jose took up the majority along with his worried texts. I have to give him a call soon.

"Ms Steele, please put that away."

"A moment." I defied the fatherly figure as my phone vibrated.

"Ana, where'd you go? We need to talk. -Ethan."

We need to talk? About what? Dammit, I completely forgot to leave him a note!

"Ms Steele." Dr Flynn's tone was reprimanding.

I looked at him, he seemed to be patiently waiting. Fine. I slid the phone into my pocket. I'll reply Ethan later on. He was not one to overreact anyway, only Christian did.

"Thank you." Dr Flynn cleared his throat. "Alright. Lets begin." Both Christian and I straightened up to listen.

"I suggest we try something. We don't want to overwhelm either of you with information, so you will each take turns to ask the other one question at a time and it must be answered truthfully."

That sounded logical. My inner goddess offered her input, though, I could not tell if she was biased towards Christian or not.

"Ms Steele, please begin."

My heart wrenched as I mentally made a list of all the questions I could ask. I settled on one. "Did you... Enjoy it?"

I thought of all the times Christian and I had made love, enjoying each other's bodies. The lump grew in my throat as I realized that that was no longer our special intimacy.

"No." Came his curt and short reply.

As if. I thought. Which man on this earth would not have enjoyed having sex with an attractive woman like Leila. He had to be lying.

"Good." Dr Flynn clapped his hands together. "Now, try to look at each other." With calculated slowness, Christian and I both swiveled in our seats to face each other. His grey eyes were filled with pain and longing, hands clenched by his sides as if restraining himself from touching me.

I leaned closer to him, my treacherous body trying to return to him. His eyes widened as he took notice of my little gesture.

"Perfect, Mr Grey, proceed."

He thought for the briefest of moments. "Did you enjoy sleeping with Ethan?" He fired my question back at me.

I was not going to lie through my teeth, but decided to play on such a vague word with such a literal sense. "Yes, I did."

Anger tainted the grey. "WHY!"

I jumped back. "Mr Grey." Dr Flynn's words cut between us like a knife and Christian snapped out of it, trying to retrieve his composure.

This was my revenge against him. I wanted him to know how it was like to be cheated on, the feeling of betrayal and the constant reminder of your inadequacy. There was something I now had to get off my chest. "Why Leila when you could have any hot brunette on the street?"

His eyes tightened. "Because I never planned on cheating on you, Ana. I love you."

I flinched. "Mr Grey, remember that this is a factual discussion rather than an emotional one. Please refrain."

"It's a fact!" Christian shot his doctor a filthy look.

Never planned on cheating on me. I considered that for a long moment.

He continued to assist my thought process. "I wasn't thinking. I just wanted Leila better. I know it's a stupid excuse."

"Beyond stupid." I spat.

I tried to imagine what kind of arguments ran through his head when he decided to make love to her. Christian may seem to be mature and independent, but I knew in the aspect of love, he was only child. He barely had any idea of how to love, he only knew how to f***, his only reference to love was me. It was slightly believable that he decided to love Leila the only way he knew how, how I had thought him to. But did he genuinely think it would have helped Leila?

"Why Ethan?" He grumbled, pain wrecking his voice.

Ethan? Because he's my best friend's brother, I could trust him and he was just there. He happened to be in town. "Convenience." I said the word without thinking.

I could see that Christian was shocked, even the good doctor was taken aback. I had to defend myself. "I was broken and Ethan just happened to be there. He was sweet and funny, how can a woman resist?"

"Mr Grey, keep your anger in check." Dr Flynn advised.

Christian's jaw was tight as he listened to my words. I knew this was driving him mad and I really did enjoy it. A sad part of me told me I should not be toying with him like this, but another told me he deserved it.

I thought about Leila coming back to the apartment. "How many times did you have sex with her, Christian?"

He seemed surprised that I had used his name. "That one time," and because he could read minds, "She never came home with me, Ana."

Never? Did he dump her at a hotel?

Christian's psychic powers were out of control. "Straight after, she took my jet out of state to the psych ward. Dr Flynn was with her, you could ask."

I glanced at Dr Flynn, who gave me a trusting nod.

"So, how many times?"

"Geez. Don't you have originality?" I snapped.

Surprisingly, he smiled a lopsided beam. "It so happens that our minds run on the same track."

"Fine." I gave it a thought. I had slept with Ethan only two nights. "Thrice."

This was my first time seeing grey flames. His eyes were scorching and flickering with hatred and anger. Well, serves him right.

My imagination had run wild and there were some things I had to clarify. "Where?"

"The bathroom." He sounded uncomfortable, like he was trying his best to maintain his composure. "And you?"

"The bed in Steve's apartment." I wasn't lying. "So you got into the tub with her after all."

"No, it was on the floor."

Oh, how visual. How would I ever be able to step into my toilet again? They had done it like animals, on my floor. My bathroom floor.

"Did..." I began, but lost my words as the blood rushed into my cheeks.

"Ana, don't hesitate." Christian instructed me. "I owe you this."

"Did you use protection?"

"I didn't have any on me." My heart fell. "But I found some in Kate's room."

"So you did?"

"I did." I sighed in relief.

"Is he... Better than me?" There was something off about Christian's tone. It sounded as if he was jealous, wounded in a way. Why?

This was a tough one. Better than him in making love to me? I would not know. Sleeping with me. Hm. Ethan never disrupted my sleep in the night. "Yes."

Christian choked and started coughing violently, it was as if I had just told him that his mom had died. He reached for his coffee and chugged it down. In extreme agony, he put his face into his palms and breathed deeply.

Why did this matter so much to him?

I did not even need to ask if she was better. I know she was. She had all the experience that I lacked. This is why I found it hard to believe that Christian did not enjoy himself. Surely, she was a sex goddess herself.

"Ana." Christian's whimpered, picking up on my thoughts. "I didn't kiss her."

Didn't kiss? My inner goddess was shocked, dropping her popcorn all over the floor.

"F***, I didn't even hold her."

My breathing halted. How was that even possible? He must be lying. My inner goddess nodded at me. How would anyone make love without kissing or holding the other? An errant thought crossed my mind. Christian's definition of making love was vanilla sex!

"You're asking all the wrong questions!" He growled, annoyed.

"Mr Grey..." Flynn cautioned.

Christian's head snapped up, furious. "Flynn, please excuse us."

He hesitated. But then stood and exited the room, following Taylor to the study, if I was not wrong. I refocused my attention on Christian.

His eyes were crystal clear, not a hint of lies within them. "Ana, we didn't orgasm." At the tone of his voice, I knew he was still hiding something.

Didn't orgasm? How would Christian have allowed that with his tremendous sexpertise? It was incredibly difficult to believe.

"Ana..." He pained. "I lost it."

"Lost what?" Christian took on an uncomfortable stance, as if he was about to reveal his biggest secret to the world on national television.

"My..." He stuttered. "My..." He closed his eyes. "Erection." He whispered.

What?! "What?"

He dropped his head shamefully. "I was in her one minute," my heart constricted. "And the next... Nothing."

"I find it incredibly hard to believe."

His eyes flashed open, anger raging within them. "No man on this earth would lie about THIS."

Noticing he was about to turn into the hulk, I raised an arched eyebrow. "Should I call the good doctor back in?"

Christian's lips hardened into a straight line. "Ana, it's never happened before. I spent so many hours, sleepless nights up thinking about it. I don't understand where I went wrong. I've always delivered. The women always get their orgasms in no time. But this time I was powerless. I was angry and confused. I'm a sex god, prowess, I've never failed. But I just couldn't get it up. " He gushed, exasperated.

He was right. He really was in control of our sex all the time. He always delivered mind blowing orgasms to me. Unfortunately, judging by the defeat in his posture, I was beginning to think he was telling the truth.

I noticed a strain in his pants and flushed when he caught me looking. "But here right now, watching you, I'm so hard I think I could do you for weeks and not be truly done. " There was a primal need in his voice.

Everything south of my navel quaked in anticipation, lacking the attention he had freely showered days ago. I was probably brimming with sexual frustration.

"Ana," He moaned, my body shaking in response. He slid to his knees and moved towards me, parting my thighs as he sat between them staring at me. His lips were shouting 'Kiss me' and I was panting.

My brain was clouded. The only thing I could think of was him in me. Christian knew it too. He placed both palms on my knees and started laying soft kisses on my inner thighs. I moaned in response. It felt so good.

As his lips moved closer and closer to the apex of my thighs, they opened wider voluntarily, as if welcoming him. My moan met his chuckle and my eyes rolled back into my head in pleasure, his chuckle had caused his stubble to graze my inner inner thigh.

My shorts were suddenly getting on my nerves. He was unable to reach my sex with such a material between us. I heated up with frustration. Then, his tongue flicked against me, trying to reach beyond the fabric. I gasped.

"You're mine, Ana." He growled, and from the other side, he caressed me through the fabric of my underwear. I pressed against the back of the couch, surrendering. "You're so wet."

His fingers toyed with me, stroking the side of my underwear at the apex of my thighs and driving me crazy. There was anger in his voice, "How was Ethan better than me?!"

I was still in cloud nine, begging his fingers to claim me. He shifted the material to a side and I gasped as he entered me. With such skill, he added one more finger and I found myself nearing the cliff.

I was moaning. With a greater fierceness in his voice, he asked again. "How was Ethan better than me?!"

My hands flew to his hair and pulled, craving for him and he moaned in response. He pushed my legs further apart as he entered me deeper and faster.

"Christian!" I chanted, pleasure dissolving my conscious.

"That's right, baby." He grunted. " Say my name!"

I was panting like a deer in need of water. " CHRISTIAN!" I shouted, so near the edge that my body started tingling.

I felt him curl his fingers in me and tug, effectively sending me off the edge. My insides quivered as I held on to him, groaning in sheer pleasure. With a territorial and satisfied groan, he gritted his teeth and searched my eyes with his. "HOW. WAS. ETHAN. BETTER. THAN. ME?!"

I surrendered. "We never had sex!"

The anger vanished from his eyes, replaced by surprise. Then, a cheeky grin spread across his face and he lunged at me. I fell against the couch with his hard-on between my legs.

Staring down at me, he pinned me under him. "Never lie to me again, Ana." He threatened and then bent to seal the deal with his lips.

Gone was the passive style of Ethan, Christian raped my mouth. He fenced against my tongue and was everywhere all at once. It was difficult to keep up. Then, his lips left mine, giving me time to breathe and it sucked on my neck. The feeling was phenomenal and I groaned against him.

He broke away. "What have you done to me?" He searched me. "My body only sings for you, Ana."

_That's right, my inner goddess strutted about proudly. He's not lost an erection with me yet._

His left hand left my wrist in search of my sex and he resumed biting on my neck. I felt his fingers climb under my shorts and tease me against my underwear.

"WHAT THE HELL." Kate's voice broke my arousal and I jumped.

Christian halted in his sexpertise but still pinned me down. We both turned to find Kate and Elliott standing in the room, stunned.

Then, Elliott broke into a huge grin. "That's the way, Christian."

Kate put her hand on her hip and narrowed her eyes at me. "And I thought dealing with the paparazzi downstairs was a pain in the ass." She looked extremely pissed. "Anastasia Steele, you're going to get it from me."

**Ana's willingness to be with Christian. That's my Christmas present to you, dear readers!**


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14: Pep-talk

**Author's note!**

**Hello everyone! Hope Christmas has done all of you well and Boxing Day a charm for all. I didn't get any presents this year. Sigh. Alright, I'll have to be honest and say that I'm reaching a writer's block. So… yup. Enjoy this, hopefully! **

"You're acting like a cheap slut, Ana!" Kate yelled, almost slapping me across my face.

But her words were enough to do it. I recoiled from her as if she had. Kate did not back down, " The jerk cheated on you and you give him the green light to your lady parts?!"

I swallowed in embarrassment. Neither Kate or Elliott should have seen that. Oh hell. Flynn and Taylor and the rest of the security details are sure to have seen it too. I flushed bright red, casting my eyes to the floor.

Kate paced up and down whilst I sat still on the bed. " If you wanted sex so much, why can't you just go to Ethan?!" She pretty much hollered. I flinched. Christian would have heard that. I had no doubt he was watching us from the cameras now.

Then she halted in her steps and spun to glare at me. "Are you cheating on Ethan?!"

I gawked at her in awe then realized she had every right to be piping mad. This was yet another misunderstanding I had to clean up. "We never had sex, Kate." I said the words slowly. "We were just lying about it."

Her mouth hung in disbelief and she turned furious, I thought she was about to combust. "WHO THE HELL WOULD DO THAT."

Loud enough so that Christian would not have to strain to hear, I explained. "We slept together, literally. Just sleeping. On the same bed."

Kate hands found her hips and she gripped them for support. Then, her eyes sparked as she thought of something. "But you like him right?" When I failed to answer, she lifted a finger in accusation. "You like Ethan! I know it."

Yet another of Kate's inquisitions, I would never win against her. Quickly, I diverted the attention. "Ethan says he's not sure he wants to pursue me." I pointed out, using his same words.

Kate considered it and then took a step towards me, I leaned back. She smirked. "He's talked to me about this." She started, crossing her arms.

Why was I not surprised? The Kavanaghs were like peas in a pod, sharing every secret with each other. "When?" I pursed my lips, not fond of being the topic of conversation.

"That day when he begged me to return to the apartment." She stated. "It's not that he's unsure," I begged to differ. "Ana, you're obtuse!"

"What!" I yelled in defense.

She snapped her fingers in my face. "Ethan doesn't want to be your rebound, Ana."

"Rebound?" I squeaked.

Her eyebrows furrowed and I thought she was about to strangle me. "Yes? Like, you jumping from Mr Moneybags to my brother just because Christian sucks?"

"I'd never!" I whined, trying to defend myself.

"Oh, trust me." She sounded annoyed. "A girl can do silly things when she's HORNY."

At her tone, I knew she was referring to my recent event with Christian. I flushed. Had I been silly? But Christian had known just when to strike, his words had been so honest and we had cleared up so much doubt between us that my hurt was lessened by more than half.

At first it had seemed impossible for us to get together again, as every time his hands would be to caress me or his lips to brush against mine, I would be reminded of his betrayal. But now, knowing that Leila had not claimed them this time round made everything much better.

Maybe I had been clouded by his flattery, knowing that his body would belong to me in this manner and not to Leila. I once again saw her smirk as I was made to leave my apartment and flinched, the wound was still raw. But it was healing.

"But I know him more than you do." I defended fifty, my defenseless little fifty.

"Well, to me, he's just pushing you about." Kate blustered. "You're always unhappy ever since he came into your life!"

That was not true! Kate had just been there when I was suffering from his rogue side. She had not been there when he had taken me out on such grand dates, had not been there when...

"He's asked me to marry him."

I watched as Kate's jaw fell. There was a moment of silence as she contemplated what I had just said.

I knew that if I was going to fault him for every mistake he had made, I would open the pandora box that was his past too. Mrs Robinson would come tumbling in, and there would be the pain of his having intercourse with probably a hundred other women. Leila was just one of them.

A thought crossed my mind. What if I let his attempt with Leila slip this time? This time. Would I be signifying that cheating on me could be a past time of his? It hurt just thinking about it.

"When?" Kate demanded. "Before or after he had sex with another woman?"

My response was not going to be in favor of Kate's approval. "After."

"Exactly!" Kate snapped. "It's the guilt talking."

"He just doesn't want me to leave him."

"Because he knows you should." She growled. "I have never seen anybody so calm after they have been cheated on." Kate put both hands on either of my shoulders. "NEVER!"

"Because he's all I want, Kate." I told her and watched her eyes grow. "I know we're in a sticky situation, but I want to work this out with him."

"Stop defending him, damn it." Kate spat. "Ana, he still cheated on you, he cheated, Ana!"

He did. He really did. I folded my arms and withdrew my knees to my chest. I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head repeatedly at her words, I had spent so long repeatedly telling myself that even though he did, he had no intention to do so.

"I'm just so confused." I whined, pressing my palms against my ears and rocking from side to side.

Taking pity on me, Kate lowered herself to the space beside me. She wrapped her arm around me and hugged me tightly, giving me a small kiss against my head. "I know, baby, I know."

I turned to face her, returning the hug and enjoying her right embrace. Kate drew me in tighter. "It's the first love problem, sweetie. You just don't want to let go of your very first love, because he's your first."

I nodded against her hold, knowing that it was true. I had tried so much to rationalize all his actions to make it right, to make me believe in Christian once again. He was the only one I wanted, the only one I had ever wanted since I had first met him.

" No matter how much you love him, Ana, what he did was unacceptable."

"I know."

"And right now, I know you're very confused." She cooed, stroking me. "But you can't give him leeway just because he gives you some silly excuse. He still cheated on you."

"He's going to confuse you whenever he says he loves you and justifies his actions, Ana. But you have to hold on to the memory of the pain you went through." She whispered into my ear. "Until the day you no longer feel that pain, he can step back into your life."

Suddenly, Kate was vibrating. She pulled away slightly to answer her phone. It was brief. "See you." She ended the call and placed it back into her pocket.

"Ethan's coming up in a bit." Kate said and I jerked back into focus.

"What?" I whispered. A showdown between Christian and Ethan would be the last on my to-do list. I had planned to lengthen that list and put off such a clash until the anger slipped out of Christian's mind.

"You left so suddenly," she threw me an irritated look. "He had to come say goodbye before heading back."

"He's going already?" I was shocked. The conversation of his need to return to straighten out some issues had only happened last night. I had envisioned him leaving next week, not today.

"He had prolonged his visit just for you, Steele." Kate pointed out.

"Oh." How long had he planned to stay?

"I would wonder how he will get pass the paparazzi downstairs. He's already been classified as your lover."

"How bad is it?" I asked, jumping to my feet and rushing to the window and peeking down. It was difficult to make out from such a height, but I could see a crowd outside Escala, no doubt awaiting oil to fan their flames.

There was a knock on the door. I half-turned expecting to see Ethan step in, but the man causing all this problem let himself in.

Kate took on a defensive stance, "What is it, Grey?"

He put both hands in the air. "I felt it necessary to defend myself."

Clearly, he had been listening and watching. Inwardly, I groaned. Kate shook her head at him, "No need, Ana doesn't need you to distract her further."

I nodded in agreement.

Christian looked at me, as if trying to decide if he should step in. "Do we need Flynn again?" He directed the question to me.

I shook my head. "You", I pointed at him, "need Flynn."

Christian crossed his arms. "Does that mean you've decided not to work things through between us?" By the way he said it, I knew if I have him a positive, I would be in huge trouble.

"Nothing of that sort," I waved his accusation away. "I believe Kate when she says that no matter what excuse you gave, you still did cheat on me with Leila."

Kate took on Christian's stance against him, tapping her foot in agreement to my words, as if challenging him to counter her point.

Christian's eyes filled with sorrow, "I'm sorry, Ana." Then he looked at a fuming Kate. "I really am sorry."

"Sorry, sorry." Kate repeated his words. "If that's all it takes to mend a broken trust... " She turns to me, "Ana should have sex with half of Seattle and then say sorry."

Christian hissed at the idea and very subtly shook his head at me, indicating that I should not learn from Kate's bad advise. But I did see a sense in what Kate was saying. I was indeed letting Christian off too easily.

It was time to take my revenge up a notch. "I very much agree, Kate."

It took the both of them by surprise and I could not help but crack a smile. "Come on, Kate. Line them up!" I clapped my hands with excitement.

Kate arched her eyebrows at me in question and I beamed, sending her a signal that I was not being serious. Quickly, she picked up on it. "Yes yes, certainly."

"That's absurd." Christian bickered, anger rushing through his system. "Ana only needs me."

There was movement behind Christian. Kate noticed it too and smirked, "Ana? Need you? You? Don't flatter yourself. I'll tell you what she really needs."

Christian beckoned her to go on, narrowing his eyes.

"Ana needs Ethan." At the sound of his voice, Ethan stepped out from behind Christian and into the room.

"Kate, Ana," He smiled ever so sweetly. He was dressed in jeans and a collared polo. Pretty much reluctantly, he grumbled a greeting to Christian and then strode towards us.

I had never seen Christian so irritated in his whole entire life. "How the hell did you slip past my security?" Christian blanched, taking a step forward to confront Ethan.

Ethan winked at me, "Ms Steele is the key to everything."

What? He had used my name? How did that help him this time?

"Sup, bra." Kate gave him a hi-five as he reached her, which Ethan complimented with a kiss on her cheek.

"Did you speak with the paparazzi?" Christian sounded uptight, uncomfortable.

Ethan shrugged in response and gave me a grin, "Hello, Ana."

I flushed. "Hi, Ethan."

"You left me in bed this morning, now that's unforgivable." Ethan scolded. "I had to deal with a very haughty Steve this afternoon. I barely escaped with my life."

I laughed at the hyperbole. "What did Steve have against you?"

"Not me, Mr Christian Grey over there destructed his beauty rest."

We both turned to Christian and Ethan shuddered playfully. Christian was still glaring at him through narrowed eyes. "No, I have yet to speak to those reporters." Ethan reassured Christian and he relaxed.

"We'll need you to sign an NDA." Christian stated formally.

"I have no intention to." Ethan rolled his eyes.

I giggled. Mr Christian Grey would not approve of eye rolling. "Giggling so quickly, my sweet Ana?" I giggled some more as Ethan tried to tickle me.

"Hey, where's Jose?" Kate asked.

"Jose?" Christian and I both piped up in unison. Jose?

Ethan pursed his lips. "He's outside talking to Elliott."

"What's Jose doing here?" I questioned, pushing aside Ethan's wandering hands.

Ethan eventually surrendered, taking a seat on none other than my lap. Christian's eyes blazed at the scene. Surely Ethan was doing this on purpose. The bed was about thirty times the size of my lap and he could have sat anywhere.

Kate waved my worries away. " You stopped talking to him, Ana. He panicked. Hence, I asked Ethan to pick him up on the way over."

Surely the Kavanaghs had only intended to give Christian a panic attack. Christian fancied neither Ethan nor Jose, I knew that all too well. But she was right in doing so, I had neglected poor Jose for much too long in respect to my dealing with all this drama.

"I lost my phone!" I argued from behind Ethan, unable to see much as he playfully leaned back into me. "You're so heavy, Ethan!"

In one swift movement, Ethan slid off me and pulled me onto his lap, reversing the position. "Tadah!" He cheered, expecting cheers for his magic trick. I smacked him but otherwise sat comfortably. Christian on the other hand was on opposite opinions with me.

"Ana, poor Jose's been worried sick. Not to mention, your parents have called either of us a million times. I did tell them that Christian was not the man they both thought he was and that you were otherwise occupied with Ethan."

Christian was not too happy. His reputation with my family members had been tarnished all thanks to Kate. But I failed to see how he would think I would not have spoiled it myself, their good impression of him would have vanished with the first sentence I would utter to them.

"Kate, I really wished that I could be the one to tell them." I groaned and Ethan wrapped his arms around my stomach much to Christian's annoyance.

"It should have been my duty, Ms Kavanagh." Christian growled. "I made the mistake and I should've been the one to confess."

"No need, man." Ethan mumbled from behind me. "Consider your name out of their good books forever. You're cut from their family tree. Sayonara. Adieu."

"Shut the f*** up, Mr Kavanagh."

"Watch it, Grey." Kate spat.

Tension in the room was once again reaching its peak. The joint forces of the Kavanaghs were going to push Christian off the edge. I, on the other hand, sat here like a bystander rather than a key actor in this production. I was thoroughly grateful for it, because without either of them, I was often left confused and widely persuaded by Christian to forget his sins.

"You invited Ethan and Jose to my house without my permission." Christian pointed out. "And not to mention, let yourself and Ethan in too. Without my permission."

Kate took up the rival immediately, sizing him up. "And you cheated on my best friend."

"She's right." Ethan backed her up after a resounding 'uh-huh' on his part.

Christian looked very cross indeed. He clenched his teeth and balled up his fists as he stared down at Kate. "I understand that I have made a mistake, but how long will I have to keep paying for it?"

Repeating the words she had preached into me earlier, she went on her tiptoes. "Until the day she feels no pain when she thinks of you cheating."

"That's. Impossible." He said each word slowly and loudly.

"I'm glad you know it." Kate crossed her arms tightly once again. "I think you should concede and let Jose and Ethan battle for her hand."

I watched him get taken by surprise once again. "You know?" He asked her quietly and then looked at me. "You told?"

Ethan's palm flew up to my eyes and covered them, shielding me from the overwhelming grey gaze that would have broken me down. Christian grumbled angrily, knowing that he would not be able to get past Kate and to me without it turning messier.

"We all know you're widely insincere, trying to tie Ana down to you before she can run off with someone better than you. Which I can't deny would be easy to find because anybody would be more faithful to her than you." Kate went on.

It was difficult to imagine the looks on their faces with Ethan's hand around my eyes so securely. There was only the redness that was the result of the sunlight against his palm.

"I was sincere, I was. I intend to marry Ana."

"That makes one of you."

"Miss Kavanagh, I don't expect Ana to accept immediately given my recent crime. But I do expect her to think it through and realize that I genuinely love her and want to make her my forever."

Then, I was glad that Ethan was still covering my eyes, for I was not ready for Christian to look me directly in my eyes and repeat his words. I would have crumbled at his feet and agreed to be his forever, for those were very sweet words indeed. But there was the pressing matter of his infidelity that I could not simply brush off as nothing, it was certainly too difficult for me to believe there was any speck of truth in his words.

**Inspired By: If You Ever Come Back, The Script. **

** Grace, Tenth Avenue North**

** Everything has changed, Taylor Swift**

** How Love Wins, Steven Chapman**


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15: It's all a mess.

**Author's note!**

**Hello, readers. I do just want to say that you're all rather difficult to please. The only way I see Ana and Christian ever reuniting is if Ana bends to Christian's desires once more instead of fighting him. But then, I get reviews saying that she's now seen as pathetic and not worth reading on for?**

**Well, alright then. I have nothing more to say. **

Suddenly, the room was immensely crowded. Not to mention suffocating. By the sounds of it, Elliott and Jose had joined the party. I grabbed Ethan's hand in mine and pulled it off my eyes and to my lap, grey eyes torched but I ignored it.

Through everything that was happening, I did not understand how Christian could still feel like he had the license to be jealous. I was the one that was over-flooded by jealousy, he had no right. So, I decided to ignore him. Thoroughly.

Instead, I searched. "Jose!" I cheered.

"Ana!" He returned, having been searching for me too. Jose looked as good as ever and I felt an instant guilt for having stayed away for so long.

Leaping off Ethan, I dashed past Kate and Christian and into the arms of Jose. He received me warmly, wrapping his arms around me and resting his chin on the top of my head. " You had me worried sick!"

"And so I heard!" I laughed into his chest, remembering Kate's exact same words.

"It really isn't funny, Ana." Jose whined. "I had to deal with both your parents over the phone because you never picked up your phone and Kate was being evasive."

"Awwwww," I cooed into him, pretending to be a mom trying to calm her child down from misplacing a toy.

"Your work place said you're on a paid leave of absence until further notice." He went on to say.

I stiffened. Before I could even open my mouth to probe, Christian confessed. "Guilty." I realized that his voice was not as far away as it should have been and almost following, I was jerked out of Jose's arms.

Jose's face turned sour.

"Jose, I'm really sorry." I referred to my disappearance and this very moment, gently, I pushed Christian away so he was not touching me.

His eyes warmed. "It's alright. Anyway, I just dropped by to see if you were still alive." Scanning the room, his lips twisted into a wry smile. "And it's way too crowded in here."

I rolled my eyes. "Tell me about it." This apartment, this room, was too cosy for liking. There were too many people and too much hormones all over the place. Surely, alliances had been drawn and I could not bear to think of the results of a war. Any war.

"So I'll head back first." He offered, like the kind Jose I knew him to be.

"You have somewhere else to be?"

He wrinkled his nose. "Work."

"In that case, please do stay. I'm sure Christian can arrange a paid leave of absence for you as well."

"Ha-Ha" Jose mocked me. "Funny, Ana."

"Bye Jose." I gave him a light punch in his chest and he shook his head at me.

Turning on his heel to leave, he muttered, "Please pick up your phone when your parents call."

"Hey wait." Ethan called after. Jose stopped and spun around again. I watched as Ethan gave his sister a brief hug and then skipped over to plant one on my cheek to intensify Christian's hatred for him. "I've got to head to the airport, we can go down together."

"Bye Ethan." I waved at him and he reciprocated as Jose and himself vanished from my view.

Elliott cleared his throat. "Kate, I think we should send him off."

"There's no need." Kate said stubbornly. Once she made a decision, they were rarely changed.

But of course, when it did come to Elliott as I had now been made familiar, her character would most of the time fluctuate to his pleasure. "I insist."

I heard her sigh in defeat. Elliott threw an arm around her shoulder and hugged her close. "Bye Christian, Bye Ana." Elliott bid us as he hauled Kate closer to the door.

"Bye!" I waved cheerfully.

Kate shot me a glare over Elliott's shoulder. "I swear if you let that man into your pants, I will crucify you." Her glare was so icy that I dared not to provoke her, instead, I offered her a nervous wave as she disappeared as well.

Just as quickly as they had all came, the room was now empty except for Christian and I. It was intensely awkward without my four body shields and buffer zones. I was now exposed to this radioactive creature that was so good and yet so deadly.

Christian still remained behind me, barely a palm's length away. I trained my eyes down on the floor and we stayed like that for a rather long time. He was so close, so very close indeed and I knew it because I could feel him.

Christian's breath sent tingles all over me as they hit my neck. "Ana, I need to ask your permission."

That's a first. Now, I was interested. With exaggerated slowness, I faced him, coming chest to chest against him as I failed to pick up on how close we really were already. Christian held his position.

"What is it?" I was afraid to ask.

A million possible questions flashed across my mind. None that were pleasant. Can Leila come home? Can we visit Leila? Can you move out? Can I cheat on you again? Can we break up?

But yet, his question was. "Can I release to the public that the rumors are false and we are indeed still a couple?"

I gave it a thought. Recalling the mess I had seen downstairs and the ambush Ethan and I had been traumatized from, I had half a mind to agree. Yet, half a mind to tell the truth.

Christian put his hands on my jaw, framing my face as he titled them up to meet his gaze. "I'd say it's to ward off those pests, but truth is Ana, I want us to be a couple again."

"Okay." I replied, taking a step back before the pain could seep into my system sourcing from his touch.

His eyebrows raised in surprise. "Okay?"

I knew exactly what he was thinking. "Okay to the release of our togetherness, but to me, we're still pretty split up."

Christian pursed his lips at my words but then swallowed his dissatisfaction. Fishing out his phone, he dialed and pressed it against his ear. He reached out to hold my left wrist in his palm and I gave it to him. "Release it. " Without even so much as another word, he hung up and slipped it back into his pocket. "Thank you, Ana."

"You're welcome?" I tried, not sure of the pleasantries one was supposed to reply in a situation such as this.

He laughed, lighthearted and charmingly that I almost forgot the situation we were stuck in. " You never fail to amuse me." But, I did. I took my wrist back and a step away from him.

His eyes tightened like screws already on too tight. They pained. "Ana," he started.

I felt obliged to interrupt. "Please don't say you love me, I don't think my heart could take it."

The screws were spun one more time around. "Ana. I was so focused on Leila that I -"

My palms flew to my ears and I found myself clamping them for probably the hundredth time this week. He grabbed at them and pulled them down. "Listen, Ana. Listen!" He urged.

I squeezed my eyes shut as he continued. "I was so focused on her. But then it felt so wrong, it felt so wrong." He shook me at my wrists as if desiring me to open my eyes for him. "She wasn't you, Ana. And the spell was broken. I could only think of you as I... Lost it. And I know I lost it because she was not you."

When I didn't reply, Christian shook me once more. "Did you hear that? She wasn't you. She wasn't you Ana, that's why I couldn't keep it up."

His words did reach me in my deepest darkest place. Though, I could find little strength to open my eyes as I had no motivation to do so. A confession of this sort along with his grey eyes would kill me. Because, crystal clear they would be and I would know he was being honest. But yet, I was not ready to forgive him because he still committed such a crime.

"By the time I snapped out of it, it was too late." His voice was grave, as if reading a funeral announcement out loud. "I had done it and there was no going back."

He was right. The very moment he had let his urges take over and his pants drop, I had lost every trust I once held so dear in him. Even with everything he was saying now, it was not going to make things instantly better.

Christian's earlier words crossed my mind. Indeed. How long did he have to pay for this same error? It did feel good to have him at my mercy, but I knew that if I wanted to move on, we had to get past this eventually.

He grew desperate. "Ana, talk to me."

I pondered and gave him a curt "Okay."

"Okay?" He asked.

I opened my eyes to be met with so much confusion, a portrait of many emotions within him that I felt sorry for him. Deciding to clear it up a bit more, I continued. "Okay. I understand that you lost yourself, I understand that you had no intention of doing so, I understand that you're remorseful." Unfortunately, I had sounded aggravated and snappy.

Instead of blowing up, Christian cocked his head to a side and gave me a sincere smile. "You're missing one."

I was not as obtuse as everyone made me out to be. Almost singing, I taunted him. "I know which one."

"Can I say it?" He looked at me with puppy dog eyes and I felt almost pulled to oblige by his magnetic attraction force.

But, I held my grown and turned serious. "I don't want to hear those words, Christian."

Christian sighed. "I just want you to know that I do."

I sighed as well. "I just want to feel like you do."

"And I do." There his hand was once again around my jaw, coaxing me to look up again into his grey ocean.

I refused and took another step back.

That stung Christian and he dropped his head in utter sadness. "I just want to clarify something that you seem to have overlooked."

"What now?"

"Ana, neither of us have pushed for an official break-up." He said and instantly I knew he was referring to the elephant in the room that we had so coolly avoided from talking through. "You never said that you want us to break up." Then he looked up with me with such a ecstatic smile on his face. "And you have no idea how happy that makes me feel."

I did not want him to get the wrong idea. "But it doesn't mean that we're together!"

His face fell. "Really, Ana?"

I nodded.

"Then say it to my face, Ana. Tell me that you want us to break-up." Christian challenged confidently.

I opened my mouth and Christian's eyes bulged with surprise. But yet, I could not find the words in my system to do so. So, I close my mouth again. He relaxed.

But I would do anything to take that smug smile from his face. He needs to know that I could not be relied on to never leave his side and forgive his every error. Unconsciously, I opened my mouth to speak once more.

Christian seemed to have a panic attack. I willed myself to say the words, to say the very words he needed to hear but did not want to. But saying it... Would make it so final. It would give him the right to spend time with other women, I would have absolute no say.

_He'll move on, my inner goddess warned._

She was right. I just was not ready to see Christian with another woman so soon, whether it was serious or a rebound. My insecurities got the better of me and I closed my mouth again.

Christian heaved a sigh of relief and visibly relaxed. " Thank you, Anastasia."

I rolled my eyes at him before I could stop myself. Time seemed to suspend itself as he deliberated my action, my heart trashed against my chest.

He said my name too slowly and too emphasized for my liking. "Anastastiaaaaaaa Sssssssteeeele." It sent a wave of panic through me. " Did you just roll your eyes at me?"

My body moved away from him but he held on to me firmly with a fierce smile on his face.

" Ethan rolled his eyes at you and you didn't punish him!" I whined in defense. I sounded so much like a child. So much like Christian.

" But he isn't my girlfriend, Ana." With a bit too much joy for my liking, he continued with, " You are."

My heart was in my mouth as I watched his eyes flicker with hunger and excitement. "Speaking of which, seeing that you are my girlfriend, I should suggest guarding yourself against Ethan..." He deliberated. "And Jose."

"Guard myself?" I squeaked, my breath barely returning after his brutal rape of my sound mind.

Christian's jealousy was talking now. "You're my girlfriend... An eye for an eye won't do."

"What are you talking about?"

"Two wrongs doesn't make one right." He hinted further. Judging from the blank look on my face, Christian gave up trying to connect the circuit that was my brain. "Ana, I've cheated on you and I hope you won't cheat on me."

There it was, fresh and raw right before me, the almighty Christian Grey's insecurities. That I would no longer belong solely to him, that the pure innocence of my body has been shared with another man. It was almost the same as me leaving him.

Uh-oh. My inner goddess covered her mouth in embarrassment.

Keen and sharp as Christian Grey was in business, he picked up on my discomfort instantly. In a tone that could only be described as extreme horror, Christian's jaw hit the ground. "ANA, WHAT DID YOU DO?"

I kissed Ethan. He kissed me. We kissed! My brain confessed it but my mouth failed to follow suit. I was in trouble. I was in trouble. Ethan was in trouble. I was comforted by the fact that he was miles away and Christian claimed only to be a in-the-moment kind of guy.

"WHAT KIND OF SEX DID YOU HAVE, ANA?" Christian probed, urgent to discover the truth.

SEX?! No, no. Not sex. And then my brain clicked together once more, I could leave this showdown unscathed if I played my cards right. Christian was under the impression that I had gone down and dirty with Ethan or Jose in all sorts of manners except the actual intercourse.

As if he believed me to be too innocent to know the terminology of my deed, he raised his eyebrows in question as he assisted me. "Where did he touch you, Ana?!"

Christian's right hand raked through his hair as I tried to think of the right strategy to avoid this combustion all together. Gah. I panicked. "My mouth!"

"YOUR MOUTH?!" Both his hands now treated his head as a rice terrace, running through his hair so many times that I was pretty sure the soil was soft enough to begin dropping seeds in.

What was he so angry about? I knew kissing another man would be bad, but this bad? I doubt so.

_In agreement, my inner goddess nodded her head. She picked up her magnifying glass, the very same Sherlock Holmes had relied on, and examined Christian in fine detail._

Seething and reddening with rage, Christian's infuriated grey eyes combed through mine. "WHO?!"

"E-" I began.

"THAT BASTARD." Christian roared, pounding his fists together.

"It's nothing as compared to your touching of Leila, Christian." I pointed out matter-of-factly.

"ANA!" He groaned. "I KNOW IT IS NOT. BUT MY FILTH IS ALREADY UNFORIVABLE. YOU'RE VIRGIN MARY, ANA. AND NOW YOU'RE NOT."

Still bewildered and very lost in this rainforest that was Christian Grey, I shook my head at him. "I'm no longer a virgin, Christian."

There was a tint of humor that passed through his system but failed to truly reach his eyes. "Of course I know that, Anastasia. But you had belonged to me until…" He ended mid-sentence with an irritated growl, clenching his fists tighter together.

"Christian," I tried to reason with the good doctor before he ripped himself apart into the hulk. "it was a spur of the moment kind of thing, we were just in the moment."

"So, I suppose he's had his hands all over your… body. I suppose he's already kissed you on your… lips."

"THAT'S WHAT I SAID!" I cried in exasperation.

"Since when?" The uncertainty seemed to make his way into Christian.

"I just did. I told you." I repeated myself. "He kissed me on my mouth?"

"OH!" Christian pretty much screamed as he realized that I had already said it. What was all the fuss about? "You meant your lips to his?"

"Yes?" Then, I went on to further clarify. "Lip to lip, breath on breath, tongue on tongue, saliva on saliva?"

"Yes, yes, Ana!" And then like the mercurial bastard he was, he reached for me and pulled me into a warm clasp. "Oh, my sweet Ana." If I had thought I was disorientated before, I could not have been anymore wrong.

Just like it had been with Kate before, the vibration of his phone suspended our moment and he fished it out from his pocket and placed it against his ear with much irritation. "What?!"

I studied him as he listened, his mood shifting from irritation to disbelief and then to intense exasperation. "You could not have picked a worse time, I swear."

Who was he talking to? I leaned onto my tiptoes to try and get closer to the phone receiver and make out the voice. Was it a girl's? Realizing this, Christian made life easier for me and lowered his head so I could hear for myself the rough and deep voice that was rambling on. Secretly, I was grateful for him doing so.

I relaxed and he smiled at me, pressing a small kiss against my forehead. "You can't do without me?" He urged the man over the phone, galled and peeved at the news he was receiving. At the instant reply, he gave his own rude response. "Well, F*** you. Fix it."

He released a gust of pent up frustration as he placed the phone back into his pocket and returned his attention to me. "Ana, will you come with me to New York tonight?"

New York?! At this hour?!

"Something's come up. I will lose this deal if I don't salvage it myself. It may seem that if I want to get something done, I'll have to bloody do it myself." He was accounting for this rash decision. "I can't leave you behind, not with everything that's going on."

I deliberated. Flying with Christian to New York at such a late hour was not the least bit pleasing to me. Sure, we would take his jet, but the hour spent together on the plane was unpredictable. It could swing two ways; we could either make-up or fight the plane to the ground. The latter seemed more plausible, and the trip would then be destroyed.

Besides, he did not need to juggle work and me, especially with the desperate situation he clearly was in. In addition, some time away from him would do me good and I could really try and figure things out. With Ethan and Kate gone, I was able to see Christian from a pro-Christian level. With Elliott out of the way, I could see Christian from a anti-Christian level. It was time I think this through for myself, with no unbiased source influencing my decisions.

"No, I don't think I will." I had made my decision. "I'm much too exhausted to be traveling."

Christian was not pleased, but neither did he have the time to argue. "Well, seeing that Ethan's out of the state and Mr Rodriguez is occupied with a full night shift tonight, I don't see why not." He said it as if cancelling out any hope of mine to have a rendezvous with them while he was absent.

"Ana, i'll be back first thing tomorrow morning. Don't get yourself into any trouble."

**Run for your life, The Fray. **

**Wish you were here, Avril Lavigne.**

**Give me love, Ed Sheeran. **

**Please leave a review. I do NEED them to carry on.  
**


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16: Down it with alcohol

**Author's note!**

**I just read my previous chapter! My apologies for the odd sentence structure. I've recently begun to read Mansfield Park by Jane Austen for school, so her sentence structure has influenced mine. **

**Alright, I do admit I was feeling pretty down the past chapter. Which ultimately led to the angst in this chapter. However, I did read your reviews this morning and feel much better **** Thank you. Please remember to leave one after this!**

I lay in my bed awake into an ungodly hour. I could not keep my mind from examining, re-examining, re-re-examining my life. I had gone from Rose with her hands spread out at the front of the Titanic with Jack's steady hands upon her to Smeagol when he had lost the ring. He had lost his precious. My hand sprawled out to the empty half of the bed beside me.

That side was cold, un-crumpled and very still. But it was the brittle chill that gnawed at my insides. I had had someone to sleep beside, to wake up beside to so recently. But it was not just the feeling that mattered, the spotlight was on the person sharing my bed itself.

I knew this from experience. Even with so sweet a character as Ethan, he failed to do what another could do. Of course, I still fell into a good slumber by Ethan and often forgot my loss. But the very feeling of opening my eyes to an ocean of sparkling, bright, grey, was very different from the warmth I sought in the blue.

Had it been my fault? Was I to blame for the lost of such a treasured one? My precious?

The scene of Christian flashed back into my head and I recoiled from the memory, jerking up right in my bed. I felt very alone. I drew my legs up to my chest and supported my head with my knees.

Christian had done all he could. He had apologized, he had pleaded, he had reasoned, he had explained, he had done everything in his power. I knew he did, but I wanted more. I wanted to know where I had went wrong. Surely, it had taken two hands to clap.

Even though he constantly reassured me that it was solely his fault, that he had slipped and allowed the darkness to overwhelm him momentarily, I just knew it had something to do with me. Christian would never have had such a thought cross his mind if I would have been more suited for him.

He would have never decided to return to his ex-lover if I was perfect for him. But did he really? Had he really returned to his ex-lover? Was she even his ex-lover? She had always only been his past time, someone he had used to vent all his inner darkness upon. I felt sorry for Leila, but not sorry enough to hate her with all my guts.

I was not Christian's past time. I was not. He invested time and heart into me, I was the only woman ever to share a bed with him. I knew that that was a place in his heart that belonged to me. Solely to me. I was the only woman to ever share his bed, to share his demons, to be there to make it all better. That was our special.

Deep down, I wanted him angry at me. I wanted him to point a finger at me and list out everything that had drove him to her. I desired to hear him tell me where I was not good enough for him, where I had not been able to fit the bill. Only then, would I have a peace of mind. Because I would be able to work on myself, to alter myself, to change myself and become someone that could meet his standards. The idea of this all being his fault haunted me.

How then would I be able to fix something that was wrong with him?

Had I been too frustratingly innocent? My inability to woman up to face him in the red room of pain? What was it? What was it? I hugged myself tighter as the air-con blew another gust of skin-biting wind that only served as an unfriendly reminder of my isolation.

Fending it off, I forced myself to recall the happiness we once shared. The last time we were happy. The feel of his lips against mine, his hand in mine, the comfort and reassurance I drew from just being in his presence. His grey eyes fixated on me, saturated with love as I pleased him.

My Christian. He had been mine.

Leila had ruined it all, she had caused this. She had caused this by stepping back into his life. If only she had stayed away after her contract was done and over with. Christian and I would be untroubled now, only disturbed by small trifles that we could easily overcome.

But it had been his fault too. He had taken part in her evil ways. He had fallen prey to her, he had allowed his guilt to ride him into her. Yet, I held on tightly to the fact that he had thought of me and the light had returned into him and taught him right from wrong.

I was also glad that he had not lied through his teeth about it. Now, that was unforgivable. Christian had been able to brave up and confess to the wrong he had committed. Did that not show his remorse and in a twisted way, his faithfulness to me?

My inner goddess remained silent as I sorted these facts and emotions out.

I had returned to this apartment knowing full well that Christian was going to persuade me to be his again, that I was to forgive him. I was a willing victim to his consistent pleading for forgiveness. How many times was he to apologize before I genuinely accepted it?

How long more until this torture was to end?

Without another thought, I rose to my feet and was led out of this room. It was not my room, it was not now. I found myself lingering at the entrance of Christian's bedroom. _Our _bedroom, I corrected. I breathed in his familiar scent and found that my body was soothed by it.

This was the effect he had on me. That no matter what, my body and mind would respond to him as if he had tranquilized me. With him, I had been certain of my safety and my worth. This was how he made me feel, this was how he _still _made me feel. I felt this even through the events that had wrecked us apart.

I was not sure I would be able to find this anywhere else. I could not be sure that somewhere out there, another Christian existed. But maybe he did, maybe one better. But would I even take the gamble?

Who was I without him?

There was a hankering within me to crawl into his bed and sleep in the aroma of him, to have him enter my dreams and help me to sleep. It was difficult to admit, but the very idea of him finding me in his bed tomorrow morning and sliding in beside me was irresistible. I desperately wanted everything back to normal, wanted him to be mine again.

But how?

This apartment was suddenly too blank for me. It lacked life, it lacked hope. I knew Sawyer was in this apartment somewhere, I believed him to be resting in his quarters as he had trusted me to have gone to bed much earlier in the day. After Christian had left, I had immediately washed up and put myself to bed.

Sawyer would have watched me lay on my bed for a few hours before letting himself retire for the night as well. I crossed my fingers that these cameras were being monitored by security men, men that would not have received any strict orders from Christian himself.

Giving no thought to what I was dressed in, just a mere camisole and ultra short and breezy pair of shorts, I let myself into the elevator and slipped very quietly out into the darkness outside.

A long walk later, I found myself in a bustling bar. Ignoring the judgmental looks many girls and some guys shot at me, I helped myself up onto the bar stool and put my head between my hands. I took a few deep breaths to steady myself.

"Hey miss, can I help you?" The kind voice of the bartender emerged.

I looked up to rest my eyes upon a man my age, his deep brown hair was tousled messily and he stared at me as he cleaned a shot glass with his cloth. "Anything you'd like to have?"

My eyes scanned the wall of alcohol that were displayed behind him. I knew nothing of alcohol of this sort, I would have had better luck with wine. "Give me your strongest drink, please."

"Alright!" He cheered, and whirled around to begin mixing whatever he was up to mixing.

I gave zero cents about the scenes happening around me. There were scantily dressed females littered all over the bar with men trying to hit on them from every angle. I strongly believed that nobody would hit on me now, given my dressing. I looked like a hobo that had decided to get a drink in the middle of the night.

The bartender was back with my drink, a funny looking mixture that was made even more queer in this lighting. I nodded at him and picked the glass up and tossed everything down my throat in one gulp.

_Nothing. _

"Hit me."

Another and still nothing.

"Hit me."

I was not even sure what I was expecting. Had I imagined a unicorn to fly down on a rainbow and grant me three wishes? Of which I would have made everything better between Christian and I.

"LAY THEM OUT!" I commanded the bartender, who seemed dubious.

He mixed five more glasses for me, of which I knocked back in a blink of an eye. The mixture did nothing to help. Nothing to stop the pain, to soothe my insecurities, to fix my problems or to fill the gaping hole that was within me.

I thought of Leila and knocked back one.

I thought of Christian and Leila and knocked back another.

I thought of how broken we were and knocked back another.

What seemed like mere seconds later, the bartender cleared his throat. "Miss, I need to see that you can pay for this."

Oh hell. I patted myself down and shook my head. "Oh hell."

"Miss?" His tone was irritated, as if wishing desperately that I had the means to pay.

"I swear I can pay for this, I just left my cash and cards back home."

"Miss…"

"I swear it. I'll call someone to get it for me!" Hell. "Hell, I left my phone too."

"I'm going to have to-"

"Put it on my tab." A gentleman helped himself to the stool beside me, waving the bartender off with a dismissive shrug.

"You didn't have to." I snapped at him. I could barely make his features out. The lighting in this bar sucked balls. He seemed to have two heads though, which I think would have been very attractive. "But thank you."

He made a look with his eyes that I could not understand. "You seemed to already be having a rough day, I don't see why I shouldn't try and sweeten it up a little."

"Sweeten?" I slurred. "Impossible."

"Ah, really?" He pushed me. "Impossible is nothing."

"What the hell are you?" I pushed a finger into his shoulder. "F***ing Nike?"

He laughed at my words. Dammit, what colour were his eyes? I could barely make him out as my eyes began to slant. There was a knocking on the back of my head, an irritating pounding that had begun.

"Adidas actually. But, try me." He provoked, the ass was amused at me? Or by me? Nothing made sense.

"Why would anyone cheat on me?" I sputtered at him, stroking my empty shot glass with my fingers.

Ha! He was at a lost of words. "I wouldn't know, why would they?"

"I'll tell you why!" I shouted, fighting the pain from spreading into the rest of my body. "I suck at sex. I don't know a clue about sex. What is sex? Nothing. Zit."

"Is that what the douche told you?"

"Noooooo." I closed my eyes. "I figured it out."

"Then what did he say?" The man placed a palm on the back of my back and was stroking me slowly. It was not Christian, but it was still remotely comforting.

"That when he thought of me, he lost his erection." I whimpered.

There was a silence as the man took it in. "And do you believe him?"

I nodded in response. "He's not one to lie about these sort of things."

"So what now? Will you be forgiving him?"

"I suppose so. There's no where else to go."

"You could leave him." My head snapped up and I glared at him, he raised his palms up in the air. "Just a thought."

"Only him. I could never have someone else." I grabbed the bartender as he passed me. "One bottle, yes, one _bottle_ of Vodka." I caught the brief glance he threw to the man beside me, of which this man returned with an approving nod.

There was skepticism. "Have you even tried?"

"Diiiiiiid." I garbled, fending myself against the drowsiness that was taking over my system.

"So it's your fault that he cheated?"

"I'm not interesting." I took the bottle from the bartender and popped it open, beginning to sip on it. It tasted foul.

"Quite the contrary."

"You don't know me."

"I don't have to."

"You want in my pants too?'

He sniggered and I placed my head against the bar table. "Not like this."

"See?" I mewled. "Nobody wants my sex. I'm sellin' but they ain't buyin'."

He leaned in to me and I thought he was going to kiss me. Instead, his lips brushed my ear. "I'll let you in on a secret. My buddies over there and I, personally, think you're gorgeous."

"And then we date and you cheat on me."

"Cheat? No, no."

"Yes, yes. All men are the same." I refused him, then propped myself upon the table. The room was spinning.

"So where's the jerk that cheated on you?"

"Newwwwwww" I dragged the word. "York."

"New York, huh?"

"That's what I said!" I told the man. "He's really famous and rich, filthy rich."

"I would believe so. It would take quite a catch to grab you."

I slugged the clear liquid back. "Not really. Where are your friends?"

The man jerked his thumb back at the table of men watching us from afar. It was all just a blur, something Vincent Van Gogh painted in his sleep I believe. Ugh. Great.

I wrapped my arms around the man and gave him a kiss on his lips. "Now," I leaped off my stool with my bottle in hand. "I will cheat on you."

"Cheat on me?" He mused.

"Uh-huh". I sauntered over to the specified table with slight aid from the man, who had guided me against my elbow. "Hello gentlemen!" I applauded upon reaching their table.

Swiftly, I bent down to kiss the first pair of lips. Then, I moved on to the next, and the next, and the next, and the next. Until I had run out of lips in my sudden shortsightedness and collapsed into the very first man that I had kissed tonight.

"HAHA!" I hurrahed. "I cheated on all of you." I tell them with a smirk.

Then, gravity caught right back up to me and through the cloudiness of my mind and the throbbing pain at the back of my head, I began to sob. There were a few gasps and then a round of pats on my back and head, stroking me from every angle to try and get my tears to halt.

"You've done womanhood some justice tonight, you're a heroine." One of them chanted, calming me down a little.

Those were the last words I heard as I jumped onto the boat that took me to Lalaland.

**Sleeperstar; I was wrong**

**Kiss Me, Ed Sheeran**

**Where I stood, Missy Higgins**


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17: Punishments

**Author's Note!**

**Sigh. I think I'm gonna get killed for this chapter. But yeah, just thought it was high time! Thank you anyway. Leave a review to tell me if I should stop the story here or to go on. **

Just like the past few days, I was rudely awakened once again. There was a throbbing pain in the right side of my forehead and the left, not to mention the piercing ache at the back of my head. I groaned.

_Teaches you not to get drunk again, my inner goddess rebuked. _

Where was I? I opened my eyes and immediately regretted it, the light from the windows were torturing me. Quickly, I closed my eyes once more. The sudden movement gave me nausea and I winced as vomit rose up into my mouth.

Sour and warm, acid-like spit. I swallowed it back down. My hands pressed against my head, trying desperately to make the ache stop. For a moment, the agony reduced significantly and I breathed slowly to allow my body to adjust.

Memories from last night begun to play themselves through my head. I had been out drinking, a lot. I drank a lot. There was a man... I forced myself to remember. "Crap!" I crowed, covering my mouth as I recalled my series of kissing.

The next question posed by my brain haunted me. Where was I? I had knocked out, I had fallen asleep... On the table. There were so many men! My fingers felt around me. Oh f***, I was in a bed. A massively wide bed that was covered with a delicate silk... I blinked to keep myself from falling asleep.

The searing like light had vanished. I was now in a dim darkness that helped me to adjust. How did that happen? Had I fallen asleep again?

"F***!" I cursed, realizing that I was only clad in my lacy underwear.

Cautiously, I turned to the side for a peek. I heaved a sigh of relief. There was nobody there. Maybe I had fallen asleep in my underwear alone... Where was I?

Pushing back the drowsiness, I forced myself to sit up and focus on my surroundings. With much calculated slowness, I swiveled around to scan the room. I know this room. By the time I figured where I was, it was too late. My eyes met with the man seated in a lounge chair by my bed.

Buried in the darkness, his silhouette reminded me vaguely of The Godfather. I could briefly make out his unbuttoned top and working pants, both suffering from wrinkles. His hair was messy, unlike the neat and proper self he usually was.

His furious grey bored into mine and I knew that my death was a done deal. Somehow, magically, I had made it back to Escala and into Christian Grey's bed. I had made it into Christian's bed... In my underwear?

"How?" I squeaked and realized that my throat was dry. I was thirsty, I could drink a swimming pool's worth of water.

That seemed to anger him more, he folded his arms across his chest. Wrong question?

I cleared my throat and tried again. "Hi, Christian."

His lips twitched and he clenched his jaw. He seemed set on ignoring me. "How did the deal go?" I attempted to make him answer.

Christian was still a statue, refusing to move nor respond to anything I was doing.

"Why am I in my underwear?" I asked warily. "Did I... Did we...?"

Christian shook his head at me. "You vomited, like the first time." Ah. My bad. Well, at least he was alive!

"How did I get here?"

There was an angry rumble in his voice. "How much did you drink, Ana?"

My brain processor was like one of those ancient Microsoft engines, rusted and making all sorts of noises trying to retrieve the information. "Um. I few shots and some Vodka."

He was serious. "Define few and some."

I grimaced. "Probably five shots and a few sips of Vodka."

Christian's lips pulled up at a corner and he shook his head again. He was bitter now. "Try eleven shots and an entire bottle of Vodka."

My jaw hit the floor. How could I have downed so much?! "What?"

"When you woke up, you touched your lips in fear and then panicked thinking you were naked." Shucks, I knew where he was going with this. "Would you like to explain that, Ms Steele?"

The ba-dump ba-dump of my heart rang in my ears and I swallowed nervously. "I'd... Rather not?"

"Even if you don't, I have the entire security footage in my laptop. Which I have spent the time watching and re-watching." His voice was even and I grimaced.

What had he seen? Oh shit. Time to divert attention. "You didn't sleep?"

"No." Curt.

"What time is it?"

"11.30AM."

"Have you slept at all since last night?"

"No."

Oh my. Christian had gone pretty much a day without sleep. This was no time for a confrontation, I was sure it would turn out messier than if he had had enough rest. Without energy, he was powered by jealousy and his anger.

I threw the blanket over to my side and tried my best to smile. "Come sleep then."

"No."

"Come on, Christian." I begged. "We can discuss this when we're both in better spirits."

"Fat hope, Ana." Christian refused me, balling up his fists. "What were you trying to prove?!"

"N-nothing! I just wanted to get you off my mind... So I..." I swallowed nervously. "Drank a little."

"You were drunk, Ana. You could've been raped. You could've been raped or killed. Do you know how worried I was?!"

"Hell, Ana! I went up to check on you and you were gone! F***ing Sawyer was clueless as hell. Thank god security alerted me to a drunk you downstairs that had been sent home by a good friend of mine. I didn't know what to think!"

"Why can't you lash out at me when i'm here and not when I'm miles away?!"

Before I could answer, he continued. "WHY DO YOU GROW SOME SET OF BALLS IN MY ABSENCE?! YOU SEEM SO QUIET WHEN IM AROUND, BUT WHEN IM GONE YOU THROW YOURSELF AT MEN?!"

I was stunned. I stared at him with my jaw hung low and my eyes opened wide. Did he just say that?!

"I WANT TO THROW YOU OVER MY KNEE AND GIVE YOU THE SPANKING OF YOUR LIFE THEN F*** YOU SO HARD TO TEACH YOU TO RECOGNIZE THAT YOU'RE MINE." He leaped out from the chair and hovered over me.

Unfortunately, my treacherous body responded and I felt my groin shiver in delight and anticipation at his promise. Christian licked his lips to moisten them and I wondered if he had drank any water in the time that he had spent awake.

"ANA, I GET THAT YOU'RE MAD BUT SHOW IT TO ME! LASH OUT AT ME! AT ME, ANA!" His hands gestured to himself and he was almost pounding against his own chest.

I could not see him clear enough in this dimness, it made it all the more difficult for me. "HELL. IF THE BAR OWNER HAD NOT RECOGNIZED YOU EARLIER, YOU'D HAVE HAD SOME SORT OF GANG BANG." This thought of his seemed to throw him off the edge and he was hollering every word and shaking at his rage.

Adidas. I thought to myself. Those men would have raped me! I was sure of it. The bar owner had been my saviour! So, I had been recognized? Would that mean that the paparazzi were on edge now?

"ANA, LOOK AT ME!" Christian bellowed. I snapped out of my irrelevant thought process and met his furious gaze. "SAY SOMETHING! SHOUT! SCREAM! FOR F*** 'S SAKE, GIVE IT TO ME!"

What did he want from me?!

"LASH OUT RIGHT HERE AND RIGHT NOW. SHOW ME HOW YOU'RE FEELING." Christian was pushing me, pushing me and pushing me. I felt it stir within me, empowered by the frustration provided to me by my hangover. I just wanted to sleep off the ache but yet, I was getting screamed at.

"ANA." Christian strained his voice.

As if taken over by a beast, I jumped to my feet and slammed my balled fists into his biceps angrily. " F*** YOU CHRISTIAN, F*** YOU!" I thrashed at him and kept beating. "YOU RUINED EVERYTHING."

I gritted my teeth and allowed my anger to rip through me and out at him. He was responsible for our unhappiness. He had done this to us! "WE. WERE. SO. HAPPY." I screamed. "BUT YOU JUST COULDN'T HELP STICKING YOUR DI*K UP SOME OTHER CHICK'S PU**Y!"

It enraged me further. So what if I had kissed some guys? He had done the unforgivable! I deserve this shit, he didn't. It gave me the license to cheat on him too!

"SHE HELD A GUN TO ME AND YOU F***ED HER ANYWAY. YOU CHASED ME OUT OF MY OWN APARTMENT SO YOU COULD F*** HER! HOW DARE YOU, F***ING ASS-" all of the sudden, I lurched to the side and the acid rose within me.

I fell to my knees and let the vomit spill out into the floor. I felt Christian get to his knees beside me as we'll and he held my hair in his hands as I continued violently. He stroked my back softly and soothed me as more came, I could do nothing to stop it.

It seemed like a hundred years later when my body ran empty on things to vomit out. Instead, it was replaced with heaving and the vomit sensation without the vomit. Christian gingerly rubbed my chest as I lurched forward repeatedly.

Finally, it was over. I began to cry. He took me into his arms and hid me against his chest, kissing me repeatedly at the top of my head. Christian never ceased to stroke my back and I sought comfort in that feeling.

"Hush, baby." He cooed into my ear and kissed the side of my head. "Hush, hush."

I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him in closer, he responded by tightening his hold on me and placing more kisses all over my head and my shoulders. "You'll be alright, Ana." He reassured me.

Oh, I missed his embrace. I missed this warm encirclement of love that never failed to give me the strength and courage to keep believing in our twisted love. I missed his hold on me. I missed this.

"You. Ruined. Everything." I accused in between sobs.

He began to kiss my neck. "I know, Ana." He kissed me harder and I shuddered at the pleasure. "I'm going to fix it. I will fix your trust in me, I'm going to make you happy."

Christian wrapped a soft material around my body. Very gingerly, his left arm slipped down under me and cradled my behind. Without notice, he stood with me in his arms.

Christian took me to the toilet and gently placed me down on the cool marble of the sink. He filled a glass with water and mouthwash then offered it to me. Knowingly, I took it from him sheepishly and gargled a few times before the disgusting taste in my mouth would leave.

"Okay?" He sounded like a shepherd speaking to a lost sheep and I let my guard down. I nodded my head slowly, afraid that if any faster, I would be vomiting once more.

Christian's fingers brushed across my collar bones as he repositioned the smooth material, ensuring that it would cover my very naked body. Then, he hooked one arm under my thighs and the other supported my back.

Naturally, I joined my hands around his neck as he lifted me from the sink. "Close your eyes," he whispered. " It's really bright outside."

I buried my face into his padded chest. He carried me out of the room. "Mrs Jones," I heard him say. "Would you please clean my room?"

"Right away, Mr Grey!" Came her alert response.

He began to climb the stairs. "Taylor, cancel all my appointments and meetings today. There will be no disturbance."

"Yes, Mr Grey."

Then, there was the sound of a door closing and a cool gust of air swept my bare skin from under the thin material. Christian lay me down on a bed. I opened my eyes to find us in the sub room, where all the curtains were pulled shut and the only light in the room was a little night lamp by the bedside.

I observed as Christian climbed in next to me. He lifted the blanket and tucked me under it. To my surprise, his arm encircled my waist and drew me in. Christian repositioned my head against his chest.

" Sleep, Ana." I heard him say and he bent down to nuzzle against my head. " My sweet Ana."

Even though I had run dry of tears, I was still sobbing and heaving, unable to get full control of my body. I hated the acidic taste at the back of my throat, I hated the feeling of things leaving my body in such a manner.

"What..." I sobbed. "Happened?"

There was the rise and fall of his chest and I was tempted to turn back and look at him. He sighed. " You were very lucky, Ana. One of my old friends happened to be the owner of that bar, he swung by to pick up some wine for a party. Apparently, you had quite a close call with the bartender, of which caught the attention of my friend when he mentioned it to him. "

I stayed imagining the whole scene play out. The bartender must have been vaguely amused by my lack of clothes and desire to drink half the shop. Sure, he would share it with his boss.

"When the bartender pointed you out, you were pretty much knocked out and leaving the bar with the men." At his words, the arm around me tightened possessively. "But the bad owner did recognize you, thankfully, I don't know how but he did. All that matters is that he did." He reassured himself. "And then he took you up to Escala and got the attention of Sawyer."

"Where's Sawyer?" I was suddenly very worried. "Did you?"

"No, sweetheart. I decided that it wasn't his fault, he was off duty and very asleep at 2AM in the morning when you snuck past him."

I heaved a sigh of relief.

"Don't. He's almost as upset as I am with you." Christian scolded. "He might start convincing me that he should sleep in your room to keep an eye on you through the night."

Sawyer and I sharing a room? Christian would never allow it. Would he?

"But I said no because I wouldn't be interested in sharing a room with him." What? I was confused. Christian laughed and snuggled me closer, "This is your last night in this room, Ana. You're moving back in with me."

Before I could protest, Christian shook his head. "After the stunt you pulled, don't expect to fight with me."

I decided as well that it was for the best I did not. Besides, sharing a bed with Christian was something I had desired the whole of last night. "I won't."

"Thank you, Ana." He whispered and he drew me higher and closer to him until I was leveled to him. I was made aware of his hands creeping down the sides of my body, weakening me and filling me with tingling sensations.

Christian parted my thighs and pulled me onto him, I felt the blanket drawn over the back of my legs and Christian met his lips with mine. There was an urgency in them and he was all over at once, one hand caressing my ass and the other in my inner thigh. I kissed him back and he growled, deepening the kiss as his tongue slipped past my lips.

Christian's tongue expertly traced my bottom lip and took my breath away. He grazed my bottom lip with his teeth and bit down on it, I moaned and returned the favor. His resounding moan sprouted a hunger in my groin, heating me up exponentially. "Mine."

With no doubt, this was him getting back at me for kissing those men last night. Well. If my punishment was glorious sex, I would be kissing them more often from now on.

He picked up on it and his fingers inched closer to the apex of my thighs. They made swirling patterns in my inner thighs as they climbed and climbed and climbed. "AHHHH, Christian." I groaned in pleasure as they stroked me through my underwear.

My body jerked in response and I fell lower against his body, my groin hitting against his and finding it rock hard. He chuckled against my lips, "Easy now, Ana."

Desiring to please him, I ground myself against his peak and felt him twitch as he gasped. I did it once more. The friction between us was doing us both good and creating more heat in my fabric.

"Ana..." Christian's voice was strained and I knew I was driving him insane. "Stop if you don't want me to go any further."

He was giving me an option. I could stop now and back down, we could stop... No. I was too driven by my need for sexual release and I knew that if we were going to get past his error, I was going to have to let him in. Literally.

_You're pathetic, Ana. My inner goddess spat at me. _

For now, I could not give a flying f*** what anybody thought. Kate could crucify me if she pleased, but this was something I was determined to do. Boldly, I stroked him through his pants and he rasped my name.

I climbed down lower and popped the buttons of his pants, peeking at him through my eyelashes. "Hell, Ana." Christian eyes were full of lust for me as he assisted me with his pants, lifting himself off the bed so I could peel them from him.

I glanced at him seductively as I licked my lips, liking what I saw. He had an awfully high tent for his boxers. Very coyly, I used my index finger to caress his tip. "Ahhhhh, Ana." He moaned, his hands catching mine. "I'm not sure if we should..."

Looks like I had only one option. Bending down over him, I bit the elastic of his waist band and peeled it downwards. He sprung up right before me and I giggled.

"I love it when you giggle, Ana." He told me, a smile spreading across his face.

"I know." Climbing back on top of him, I sealed his lips with mine and bit him hard. His erection pressed up against the crack between my cheeks and it twitched.

Yet, his kisses were hesitant. "Ana," he pulled his lips from mine. "We should stop."

But I didn't want to. We were going to converse in the way our bodies knew how to do so well. I forced back the imagination that would hinder us from unifying once more, I was going to forget his betrayal for now. Just now.

Knowing this would dissolve all resistant, I bit down on my lip. His eyes bulged in response and he smiled a playful beam, then, a feral animalistic growl echoed through the room and I was beneath him.

Christian was nuzzling me everywhere with his mouth, my neck, my collar bone, my ears, back down again. I pressed my chest into him and his fingers worked fast, releasing the clasp of my bra in a flash.

A thought occurred to me. "Kate?" I panted, worrying that she would intrude suddenly like she had done before.

"She's banned from Escala until I say so." The thought evaporated he lapped against my right nipple, taking on a life of their own, I wrapped my legs around him and wished that the fabric keeping us from each other would just vanish.

I moaned as he bit down on me, his left hand cupping my other breast and giving it the attention it needed. He squeezed and pulled my nipple taut, rubbing it between his fingers.

"Christian..." My voice was so filled with lust as I begged him to work lower.

Reading my mind, he trailed soft feather-like kisses from my breast to my navel and licked me there. His fingers grasped my ankles at the back and drew them from each other, pressing them against the bed. I was so wide and exposed.

"Ana, you can still back out." He offered, his grey eyes smoldering.

"Make love to me, Christian Trevylan-Grey." And I bit my lip once more.

Christian's thumbs hooked under the lace at the waist and he winked at me as he lowered them. Noticing my ankles spread so far apart from each other, he pursed his lips. "Heck it." There was a subtle rip and my panties disappeared.

I watched as he pressed the material to his nose and breathed in my scent. "Mine."

"Yours." I gave him an approving nod and he tucked the underwear into his jeans quickly.

His fingers grazed me... There. "Ever so ready, Ana."

I closed my eyes and anticipated his touch. I knew I was ready. I could feel the intense moisture at my groin that was preparing to aid me to receive him.

"Are you sure, Ana?" He bumped me with himself.

"Stop..." I panted. "Asking."

I could feel his tip twist at my entrance. "Ana, look at me."

I opened my eyes to meet his anxious gaze. Christian leaned in close to me and he entered me by an inch, he watched me cautiously with his eyes. I was not going to back out now.

To my surprise, Christian slipped off his shirt. Then, he hovered over me, his skin meeting mine. He took both my hands and placed them on his back. I gasped. "Christian... These are your..."

I remembered his confession before the confession. I could imagine the pain he was going through now and I tensed up against him, my palms clammy. "I'm yours, Ana."

And then, he entered me. I almost forgot his impressive length until it hit my hilt. Closing my eyes, I moaned in response and pressed him closer to me, he hissed. I dropped my hands and opened my eyes.

"No, Ana." He grabbed my hands and positioned them on his back again. "Don't let go."

He started moving in me, drawing himself out and then driving him back in. I pressed him into me once more. Truly, Christian was making love to me. Sweet, sweet love.

We had reached a steady pace of his pounding into me, my moan meeting his every grunt. "Fasteeeeeeerrr!" I pleaded and he took it up a notch.

Out of nowhere, the walls in my head broke down around me. The image of Christian having sex with Leila on my bathroom floor invaded my inner cinema and I gasped. Instantly, Christian's eyes opened and searched mine.

The tears began to bud within mine and Christian acknowledged it. The betrayal began to rouse more hurt within me. "Hold on, Ana." Christian planted a kiss on my forehead as he picked up speed once more.

My body responded just as he desired. My insides began to quiver with every new stroke he performed, his eyes never leaving mine as he took me off and over Mount Everest. We found our release and we panted, catching our breaths.

A tear slipped down my cheek. Christian brushed it off me with his lips. "I love you, Anastasia. Only you."


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18: After Mornings

**Author's note!**

**Happy New Year everyone! :) Please do favourite this if you like it. And, drop me a review as well if you wish. I do love reading them! Feel free to share your ideas with me. I was playing with the idea of this chapter but was uncertain whether I should write it until... GREYTOSTEELE PM-ed me with her idea. I thought it was brilliant, hence, this chapter was born! **

For the first time in a long time, I woke on my own accord. There was nothing at all to rudely arouse me from my sleep, except sleep leaving my body entirely on its own. Somehow, sleeping with Christian, by Christian, was gratifying.

I could hear him breathing. He was breathing deeply and I knew he was still fast asleep. My eyes fluttered open to utter darkness, it must be evening already. My hangover was pretty much banished from my system, just a slight headache.

Christian was the perfect remedy to a hangover. Never again will I get myself drunk, I cursed at myself.

Thankfully, Christian had not been sprawled all over me this evening. I wanted to go downstairs and get a snack or a meal, seeing that I had puked out all nutrition within my body from the past twenty four hours. I was stark raving hungry and immensely thirsty. My hands hunted the surface of the bed in the darkness for any clothing I could find. It came back with Christian's button down dress shirt and I put it on and fastened down the line.

Very carefully, trying my utmost best not to wake him, I slipped out of bed. Christian must have switched off the night light before he fell asleep, I had half the mind to turn it on but resisted. Christian needed all the sleep he could get, what with all the pressure from his business and from me.

Forcing myself to form a map of this room in my brain, I felt around towards the door. I hoped that there was no object lying about the floor or anything that could cause me to stumble and rattle Christian awake. Finally, my fingers met the cold metal of the door handle and with care, I pried the door open.

I flinched as it make a squeaky noise, pausing to check if Christian had woken up. There was nothing but the stillness in the room and I cracked the door open by a bit, thankful that the only light from outside was the moon's radiant glow.

Without another sound, I let myself out and left the door ajar, not wanting to risk the squeaky noise waking my sleeping beauty. The moment I made it outside, I stretched my muscles to the ceiling and felt the bones crack cathartically. Smiling, I bounded down the staircase in search of food.

"Good evening, Ms Steele!" Gale sang happily upon seeing me. "Dinner for yourself and Mr Grey?"

"Gale!" I greeted back and offered her a smile. Shyly, I pointed upstairs with my index finger and placed it on my lips to indicate that Christian was still sleeping. She laughed a soft chime and nodded. "Just myself."

"Will a grilled salmon steak topped with portobello mushroom sauce and a side of asparagus be satisfactory?" My stomach grumbled in response and she could not stop the gurgle from escaping her lips. "Yes, Ms Steele, immediately!"

"Take your time," I reassured her. "You can't rush perfection!"

"Indeed, indeed." She swiveled on her foot and started getting busy.

"Ms St-" Taylor was cut off as I turned to greet him as well. He had just emerged from the office with Sawyer a few steps behind him. Both men shifted their gazes away from me, blushing as they looked anywhere but at me.

I was suddenly extremely aware of how naked I was. I looked down and saw that they could make out everything about my body under Christian's translucent shirt. He had taken my underwear and flung my bra elsewhere, I had not desired to wake him by turning on the lights and searching for something to wear.

The blood raced to my cheeks. "I'm sorry." If only his shirt was a little longer. I better remember not to bend over at all tonight, not until Christian wakes and I get to put on proper clothes.

"I t-think" Sawyer stuttered, "I'll go back to..." He searched for something to say as he shifted uncomfortably. "I'll go to work." He made a beeline for the toilet instead and locked the door.

Taylor cleared his throat. "Ms Steele." I looked up to give him attention, watching as his cheeks reddened by the second. He sounded urgent, "I suggest you get dressed."

"Oh, my dear Ana!" Came the bright cheer from the office and out stepped Christian's mother. But upon a closer look at me, I could feel the awkwardness turn into a solid in this room. Oh hell. If only the floor could open up and swallow me whole, I would be saved from this embarrassment.

"Dr Trevelyan-Grey." I muttered under my breath, abashed.

"None of that formality, my dear." She managed after a long while, I still dared not to meet her eyes.

"Dr Trevelyan-Grey came up ten minutes ago." Taylor informed me. So this was the reason for his panic of my dress style.

"Alright, Taylor. I can explain on my own." She waved Taylor away dismissively and he made himself scarce."

"I'm so sorry, please forgive me for my dressing." My face heated up another ten degrees and I felt like running into a room and locking myself in until she was gone.

"It's alright, Ana. I suppose Christian's still in bed?"

The level of awkward in this room was through the roof. By her tone, it was as if she had caught us red handed in the middle of doing our deed. I knew she knew what Christian and I had been most recently up to. Unfortunately, she continued. "I'm glad you two have made up."

"We're working on it, Grace." I bit down on my lip nervously.

"It's nothing you should be ashamed of, Ana." Grace closed the distance and embraced me tightly. "If anyone should be ashamed, it should be me. I dropped in so unexpectedly."

"Oh! Of course not, Grace!" I hugged her back and reassured her. "It... Um" I swallowed. "It wasn't planned."

It was her turn to blush maroon as she took a step back to examine me. "Oh Ana!"

"Why don't you join me for dinner, we'll wait until Christian wakes up." I gestured towards the kitchen, my good manners on display.

"Wake up? He's sleeping?" There was a hint of worry in her voice. "He never sleeps to this hour."

"Oh. He just returned from New York a few hours back." I tried to convince her that it was perfectly natural. "The business there was affecting his sleep." Speaking of which, he had not told me how his business dealing had turned out.

"I see." She nodded her head as she listened. "Did you go with him?"

"Oh no, no. I stayed here." The apartment filled with the seductive aroma of fresh salmon being cooked. "Would you like to have some dinner?"

Even Grace could not resist the alluring smell of Gale's cooking. She gave me a small nod of her head and we watched silently as Gale did a little cooking show for us. With much grace and perfect skill, she plated up our dinners and lay them on the bar top before us.

"Thank you, Gale! Will you be cooking dinner for yourself and Taylor and Sawyer as well?"

"Oh no, Ms Steele. We've already eaten in the other kitchen."

I frowned. "What time is it?"

Grace beat her to the answer and she was smiling at me with a special sparkle in her eyes. "It's ten minutes after nine." Certainly, time had past so quickly whenever I was with Christian. Grace began eating and I followed suit.

The salmon was moist and tasty, with the skin so exuberantly crisp. Gale's seasoning was spot on and her choice of sides and sauce was done with finesse. "This is amazing!" I complimented Gale, to which she smiled at me shyly.

"So, Grace. What brings me the pleasure?" Gale shuffled out of the kitchen to leave us some privacy.

"Actually, Ana. I came here to confront Christian. I had no inkling that you would be here..." Her voice trailed off and I thought she was about to cry.

I knew what was going through her mind. "You thought I had left Christian..." I filled in the blanks for her.

Grace nodded sadly and I recognized the same fear I constantly found in Christian's eyes. "He barred Kate from coming up to Escala, so she had came straight to my home to tell us what had happened between the both of you."

Annoyance spread through me at her words. Kate was a great friend, my best friend, but sometimes she just failed to recognize boundaries. She had crossed the line this time. "Kate must've been red in the face with anger."

"Certainly." Grace's eyes grew wide as she pictured the scene in her head once again. How bad had it been? Kate Kavanagh and her temper could have taken down Julius Caesar's army in a second. "Elliott had to pick the little angry ball up and throw her over his shoulder to prevent her from screaming in my face."

I sighed and shook my head at the thought. "She's just a little protective over me."

"Yes, but it's good because I would really like someone like her for Elliott." Wow, that was a first. I cocked my head to a side in awe, Kate was half way in with the Grey's. All she needed now was a proposal. "Speaking of which, she mentioned something about you and her little brother…"

"Ethan?" I squeaked, the air barely making it past my lungs. Kate had talked to Christian's mother about Ethan! My boyfriend's mother! There was nothing other than killing her on my mind right now.

"Yes, is it serious?"

"Grace!" I was going to kill Kate. "He and I never…"

Grace's mouth formed a little 'O' in realization and she dismissed the subject just as fast as it had descended upon us. Thank goodness. Grace reached forward to clasp my hands in hers, I dropped my cutlery against the plate and it clambered noisily. "I am tremendously sorry for what Christian did. Please accept my apologies, I must have raised him wrongly."

"No, Grace!" I almost screamed her name. "Nothing like that. He just happened to be at the wrong place and the wrong time." Never in my life would I have imagined I was defending my boyfriend's infidelity.

Grace shrugged, "I was so confused! I had thought maybe the news reporting were all fraud, competition trying to beat my son from the inside." She rationalized out loud and I pitied her greatly. " Christian had refused my calls the past few days and this morning's newspaper clearly stated that you two were still together."

"Oh, Grace. Christian had no right to block you out, he was just struggling with work and trying to win me back." I tried to convince her. "It's possible he wanted to be alone to sort things out, if too many people stepped in to offer their opinions, it would have been really traumatizing." I was now speaking from experience.

Kate, Jose, Ethan and Elliott had been too much to handle. They all had differing opinions and different desires for me, both believed I should take a different path. I tried to imagine Christian talking and discussing things through with a whole board of his colleagues all over the globe, seeing that I had met very few and only one personal friend of his.

A thought suddenly occurred to me. Had he been talking to Elena while I was away?

"I understand, I suppose." Grace was still devastated and I was only beginning to grasp how this was making her feel. "I just don't want him to lose you, Ana."

Like mother like son, my inner goddess piped up after her long rest.

"It's hard... But I think we'll get through it, Dr Trevelyan-Grey." And she shook her head at my greeting of her. "Grace." I corrected myself and she smiled.

"He needs you, Ana. I know it. Because of his wealth, he's pretty much independent and has never come to his family for help. But with you..." Her fingers caressed my cheek. "He's able to depend on you and rely on you."

I flushed at the words, wondering why they hit me so hard. It was not as if I had not known that Christian felt this way about me, rather, it was the fact that his own mother was able to identify that. It made me feel strong and secured in knowing that I had the support of Christian's closest family, that I was loved by them and approved by them.

"Thank you, Grace." I whispered and we returned to our meal.

"How are you, Ana? You look rather pale."

As if to correct her, my cheeks heated up as the blood gushed in. "I'm recovering from a hangover."

"A hangover?" She questioned, dripping with curiosity and concern. "Were you drunk." This was not a question, it was a probe!

It was as if my own mother was grilling me about my drinking habits. I wanted to cover my face with both my hands and curl up in a forbidden corner. "I was not exactly in the right frame of mind."

"Sweet Ana, you're not to blame. But I really want to remind you that your health is the present and future, you have to take care of yourself." She gave me a stern scolding, which I could not help but look away.

There was a copy of the Seattle Times sitting by the sink. I reached down to pick it up and glanced through it. Just as I had agreed upon, Christian had gone ahead to get his people to settle the press. Christian and I had made one of the headlines : Seattle's Power Couple Denies Rumours.

"Mom?" Christian's voice shocked me from behind. The newspaper fell from my hands and onto the floor.

We both whirled in our chairs to find a freshly woken Christian stumbling down the stairs. He was bare cheated and clad in his wrinkled work pants, his hair tousled messily. Something about his appearance in this fashion hit me in the groin and I squirmed. He looked amazing in his post-love-making stance and noticed my reaction, smirking at me seductively. "Evening, Ana."

It took me a long while before I could formulate a response. "C-Christian."

He strode over like he was walking down a Victoria's Secret fashion show for men's wear. I thought I had died and gone to heaven as he smacked one against my lips, keeping it brief for his mother's sake. For whatever reason, he grabbed a bunch of my hair and threw it over my shoulder, as if shielding my neck.

"Mom." He shifted his gaze to greet his mom. "How can I help you?"

"I know!" I squealed and jumped off my high stool. Intending to show Christian the newspaper to explain his mother's arrival, I bent over to reach for the papers that were sprawled all over the floor.

At that exact moment, the toilet door clicked open and realization hit me the same time Sawyer gasped and retreated back into the toilet once more. "ANA." Christian's furious growl attacked me as he pulled me up and jerked me from my waist. His shirt fell back down over my ass and covered my lady parts.

"Sorry." I whimpered and turned to face his glower. "I forgot." With the most angelic smile I could pull off, I offered him the scraps of newspaper I had manage to salvage before Sawyer received a full-frontal.

"You must be cold, Ana." He spat through his gritted teeth as if he was trying to keep his anger under control. I knew by heart that at moments like this, it was in his primal nature to throw me over his knee and give me the spanking of my life. It made me wet thinking about it.

"I am?" He took the papers from my hands and gently pushed me towards the stairs.

"Yes, you are." He repeated for me. "Go and cover yourself with something... Thicker."

Oh. That was what he was getting at. I had to try and defuse this ticking time bomb before it could explode on me the moment his mother left us. Very subtly, I ground my hips against him as I tip-toed to put my arms around his neck. I was rewarded with a low moan from Christian, soft enough that Grace would not be able to pick it up. Making sure my taut nipples pressed up against his bare chest, I leaned in to kiss the man I loved, making sure to nibble on his bottom lip.

"I'll be right back, Mr Grey." I grazed his ear lobe with my teeth. Purifying my glance, I turned to smile at his mother. "Be right back, Grace!" With quick steps, I raced past Sawyer's toilet and up the staircase to change into something more decent.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19: Of love and war

**Author's Note!**

**So sorry! I was deciding whether it was Gail or Gale. But couldn't remember. So I went with a guess that wasn't so lucky... So! Sorry :) I'll change it from now on! I know this is not much of a chapter, but I'm running dry of ideas and very soon I'll only be posting once a week as school Is about to begin. **

"She just loves you so much." I cooed into Christian's ear as I wrapped my arms around him from behind.

He sat in the lounger chair in our room with his face forward. He was rather bitter. "I think she loves you more, actually."

"Don't be silly." I told him and leaned in to caress his cheek with my lips. It was so much like Christian to doubt the love of those around him, especially his own mother.

"Ana, I know what you're doing." My arms went rigid around his cold shoulder.

Of course, he was referring to my earlier exhibition of my entire body to his security details. His mother and Gale had been there, but Christian liked to focus on the minor details rather than the bigger picture.

I understood why he was so furious. It did occur to me how translucent his shirt was when I put it on, but I had underestimated it entirely. In the room's bright lights, I was practically naked for the world to see. I had only seen how exposed I was when I returned to the room to change. It was so bad that I had no courage to return down to Christian and his mother.

Much later, after I had dropped Kate a text of reassurance, replied Ethan's text and left Jose a voicemail, Christian had emerged to confront me.

"First the drunk scene and then this. I've told you many times before, Ana. I hate it when you get drunk."

Unexpectedly, my inner goddess took over my body and she used the same words he once did. "I wasn't thinking."

"You. Weren't. Thinking." He repeated, emphasizing. "I can see how frustrating that is, but I've still got a twitching palm."

"Stow it!" I whispered urgently, I was still rather sore from his sexual assault earlier this day.

"I was thinking about it," he started and then shook his head. "But you flaunted what's mine in front of my staff."

"It's not my fault that I can't pull off your shirt the same amazing way you do." I teased and I stroked the hard pads of his chest.

"Quite the contrary." He was sour. "Judging from Taylor and Sawyer's disappearances, you pulled it off just fine."

"But I like wearing your shirts..." I whined, brushing my head against the side of his cheek. There was an advantage to all his talking during sex. "It makes me feel like I belong to you."

"Ana," His voice was trained and this time it was more than just anger he was keeping in check. "I know what you're doing."

"They weren't there half the time!" I squeaked in defense, understanding that Mr Christian Grey hated to share the naked sight of his girl.

Christian grey eye lolled to the side to study me. "Because they know if I catch them in the same room as you dressed that... Indecently..."

"You'd fire them." I finished for him.

He chortled as if I had underestimated him. "No, I'd rip their eyeballs out and eat it for lunch."

"That's..." I imagined Christian getting his hands around poor Sawyer and digging his... "Harsh."

"You're not starting to have feelings for Sawyer... Are you?" Christian faced me and glared.

"He's got a little..." I licked my lips. "Something, something."

Taking me by surprise, he grabbed at me and pulled me over his shoulder. I landed right into his lap with a playful squeal as I thrashed like a child. His strong and firm arms held me in place to prevent me from falling to the floor. "Something something?" He clarified.

"He's got nothing on you, Mr Grey."

"Ana, there's benefits to having slept through the entire day."

"What might that be?" I fluttered my eyelashes in mock innocence.

"We've got the entire night to... Fool around." Just the way he said it stirred up my inner emotions and I thought I was going to orgasm right there and then.

There was an awful buzzing sound as my phone vibrated against the wooden table. I leaped off my man's lap and grabbed it just in time as Christian caught me and took me back into his embrace.

"Steele!" I said into the receiver as Christian nuzzled his nose against my jaw.

"STEELE." The most wrangled and furious voice I have ever heard returned. I gasped.

"Ana?" Christian grew alarmed.

"ANASTASIA STEELE. WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO?!" I flinched and removed myself from Christian, striding over to the bed to face my father.

"I'm sorry," Christian's eyes searched me harder. "Ray." I said loud enough for his benefit and he calmed just slightly.

"An apology will do you no good. I want you to stay away from that monster of a man." Ray was dead serious, his tone official and decided. Monster of a man?! "Kate filled me in."

Kate. Kate. Kate. I could feel my insides boiling, threatening to overspill and turn into a violent volcano for Kate's sake. "Ray, I'm dealing with it." That had been the exact same thing I had said to Grace.

"Ana, you may be a grown woman, but you're still my baby girl." I could tell that Ray was trying to protect me, but he did not know Christian like I did and further more, was not facing the brunt of all his apologies.

"Ray, I can't just call it quits. I love him. I love him, dad." Christian rose to his feet and came to sit on the bed by me, he strained closer to listen. But I shook my head at him as Ray begun on a spree of obscene name calling.

A little too late for the sex talks, Ray gave a disapproving tut. "Ana, you can't just forgive a man who cheated on you."

"I know that, but it's not like I have a choice." I was exasperated. Did nobody realize that if I were not to forgive Christian, I would have to let go of him? It would mean that we would no longer be lovers, just people who once had a thing.

"Darling, sometimes it's best if you move on."

"Move on?!" I almost yelled. "Ray, Christian's the one I love, I've never felt this strongly about anyone." The moment the words were out of my mouth, I flushed a bright red as Christian's face glowed with pride and thrill. He put an arm around my waist and drew me into him, kissing me on my neck.

I stifled a moan but Ray picked up on it. "He's there, isn't he?" I did not want to reply him as Christian began nibbling. "Ana, you can't live with him. I want you to move out right now or your mother and I will personally remove you."

"You can't do that!"

"Yes, I can." Was his firm reply and then the line cut off.

Christian took a break from igniting my body. "What was that all about?"

"Ray." I shot him a twisted smile. "Isn't exactly thrilled we're back together." I saw the shock on his face. "When we see Kate, don't stop me from mangling her."

Understanding crossed him as he heard her name. He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. "It's alright, I was planning on telling them anyway."

"What?"

"Your parents. It's not exactly something you can or want to hide when you intend to marry their daughter."

My breath hitched and I choked on saliva, sputtering and trying to breathe. Christian came to my aid and hit me on my back repeatedly trying to open my tubes. "What's wrong, Ana?"

I coughed a bit more and then wiped the tears away from my face. "Did you just say marry?" My voice was shaky.

"I had asked you to marry me before, haven't I?" He raised an eyebrow, incredulous. "I wasn't kidding, Ana."

My thoughts ran to a furious Ray and a crazy Kate, not to mention my own mother who would have her own opinions to enforce upon me. "I don't think that would be a good idea."

He looked crushed. "You don't want to marry me?"

I could barely remember my defense. "You recently well... Did that," I gestured to the air in embarrassment. "It's not like I can just let it slide."

"I don't want it to slide, Ana. It's a mistake I made that I will and am paying for."

"It might have been your guilt talking." I suggested, trying to bail him out.

A flash of anger crossed his beautiful grey eyes and I knew it was not the case. Christian had made the proposal consciously and definitely not out of any guilt. "You're the only one I can picture having a future with. I can't leave without you."

Now, he was furious. "That doesn't sound like an idea you could come up with. Who's is it?"

Oh hell. Once again, Kate was landing me in hot soup. Hot soup that was being served onto Christian's dinner table. "Who's is it?!" He snapped, impatient.

"Kate."

"She's adding oil to the flames. It's hard enough for me to try and get you to trust me again when she's off spouting all this bullshit in your ears."

"You're not the only one." I mumbled quietly, it had slipped out of my mouth before I could stop it.

"What?" Christian turned his inquisitive gaze upon me, urging me to go on. "What is it, Ana?"

"You know this. She told Grace about our situation."

"I thought the press was going to be a problem." He cussed under his breath. "I have an inkling as to why she's doing this."

"Why?" I piped up.

"She's trying to ruin my chances with you. Permanently." His arms turned rigid around me, stiffening as he considered it. "She's paving the way for Ethan."

That was absurd. "Let's not talk about Ethan."

"I'll talk about Ethan when I want to." He stepped towards me and grumbled.

"We're just friends." I reassured him.

"He's clearly told Kate something, Ana. They're both up to something."

"Either way, I love you." As if I was proving something, I pressed my palm gently against his soft chest and stroked him. "Isn't that enough?"

"I'm starting to think its not enough. That your love for me will fall short when it comes to my infidelity." He wrapped my palm in his hand and brought it to his nose, breathing in the scent. "One day Kate's words will prove true and you'll be ripped from me. I don't want you to leave me, Ana."

Christian was broken. The anger stripped away, leaving only the empty shell of a man he now was. His infidelity had somehow hit him just as hard as it had hit me, except I was able to push it out of sight and out of mind whereas he was constantly reminded and haunted by it. He was faced with my impending fleeing, he knew I could call it quits any time. This was his worst retribution yet.

I made sure to hold his eyes and reach his soul with my next words. "I won't listen to her, Christian."

He scoffed. "Kate's… Kate."

I knew exactly what he was saying. I caressed his stubby chin with my fingers, "Just don't ever let me forget that you love me."

A secret smile played across his face. "What is it, Grey?" I poked him in the ribs and glowered at him.

"I won't ever let you forget it because I picked up something for you today, Ana." And he was suddenly exuberating confidence; he laced his fingers with mine and gave me a sneaky wink. "I'll have to show you."

Christian led me down the steps. Taylor and Sawyer were having a heated discussion by the kitchen top, laughing at something Gail had said as well. Upon our touch down, Taylor straightened up and cleared his throat. Sawyer was slightly slower, but when he turned to see what had silenced his other companions, he flushed and took a subconscious step away from us.

"Sawyer." I greeted him with a smile, trying my best to indicate to him that there was to be no awkward feelings between the both of us. My indecency had been my problem, it should have nothing to do with him at all.

"Ms Steele." He returned, but dared not look me in the eye.

His grip around my hand tightened and Christian nudged me towards his room. "Just get back to work, Sawyer." He said sourly and I smacked him on his butt.

"Don't be so rude." I had intended it to be much softer than it actually had been.

Sawyer was awkward and he cast his eyes upon the floor, sweeping it clean with his eyes. Taylor pursed his lips and flickered his uneasy glance to Gail, who just shrugged and smiled right back at him. "Yes, Mr Grey." Sawyer replied obediently.

Ignoring me, Christian gave him a stern nod and practically hauled me into his bedroom. "Bye Sawyer!" I called back, "Have a great night." Christian slammed the door behind us and turned to glare at me, questioning my sanity.

"What?"

"Something something." He repeated with a frown, then dropped my hand and walked away from me.

"Oh come on, Christian." Had he been so easily shaken? I was usually that friendly with Sawyer, why had he acted so differently this time round? "Don't be like this, Christian."

Yet, his back was still turned to me, shoulders hunched forward as he fiddled around his bedside table. "It's just Sawyer, he's like the male version of Kate."

"No, Ethan is the male version of Kate. He's the Ana-Lover Edition of Kate."

"You're being unreasonable."

"Either way, Steele. They both have nothing on me." At the end of his words, his eyes met mine and the box in his hand glistened, throwing rainbows throughout our room.

I was shocked. Christian closed the gap between us, the open box in his palms like a peace offering. He had an arrogant aura around him as I examined the diamond necklace. It had diamonds in every inch of it, a diamond choker. It was simple, but thick.

"Christian, I can't accept this." It was beautiful, though.

"Ana, I bought this for you. It is yours." He said simply, beginning to remove the diamond choker from its velvet nest.

"It looks too expensive." I began to reason with him. "I would never wear it out."

"Don't be silly, it's only 30 carats." My mouth dropped in awe but he seemed to have genuinely meant it. Holy shit, he was filthy rich. "The ones you wear to our functions would be more grand than this tiny thing."

"30 carats, Christian." I refused. "That would take me my entire life to save up for, I can't accept."

He pursed his lips. "I've never given women jewellery before, would you mind not giving me my first bad experience?"

_Another first! My inner goddess clasped her hands in excitement as she urged me to accept. _

"Ana, I have to confess that I have the entire matching set of bracelet and earrings to go with this necklace sitting in my bedside table." I shifted to stare at the table tentatively. "If you don't like this one, we can change them all."

"It's like you're bribing me. It's like I'm a ho."

The necklace hung from his fingers, swinging back and forth before my eyes as if trying to exert its own alluring charm to capture my acceptance. "Ana, I don't know how to dismissive such unattractive feelings of yours, but it's only physical evidence of my love for you."

Without another word, he brushed my collarbones as he lifted my hair around my neck in order to place the cool surface of the diamond choker against it. I gasped. He chuckled and walked behind me in order to fasten it. Slowly, he spun me to face the mirror at the corner of the room.

My eyes could not leave the sparkles around my neck. I felt like a million bucks. Hell, this was probably close to a million bucks. Christian would be the death of me. "Ana, diamonds agree with you." He taunted me, his fingers running down the line of jewels.

Suddenly, something caught my eye. At the side of my neck was a visible red bruise! Christian's earlier actions of covering this spot came to my mind and anger surged through me. "CHRISTIAN!" I barked, "DID YOU LEAVE A F***ING LOVE BITE ON MY NECK?!"


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20: Love Bites

**Author's Note!**

**Hello readers! Sorry for the long wait. I was busy completing my truckload of homework and readying for school. In addition, I was bumming about thinking about storylines and all. Here is your long awaited chapter.**

**Please do leave me some reviews, naughty or nice, and favourite this if you deem it favourite-able. (: ENJOY. **

Looking in the mirror, I ensured that the love bite was concealed properly with sufficient make-up. Today, I was going to let my hair down to further hide it from the public eye. I caught Christian watching me as he did up his tie, making use of the mirror himself. Benefitting from the mirror, I stuck my tongue out at him.

Christian laughed as he tightened his tie. "Oh come on, Ana."

"Oh come on, Ana." I mocked him, putting my hands on my hip.

His lips twitched as he tried to resist smiling. "Love bites are a sign of love, you should be glad that I managed one that beautifully."

I did not know anything about love bites, just that they would stay for quite some time. But the one he had left me was a delicate crescent shaped moon, it looked almost like a tattoo. "You're insane." I said simply.

"Why are you so angry?" He frowned, fastening his cuff links.

"You're off marking me like a hormonal teenage boy. I'm not some business you can acquire." I hissed, buttoning up my blouse.

Angrily, I turned to face Christian. "Well, Mr Grey, have a good day while I bury Kate!"

Kate had called last night to ask if we could meet today. She had wanted to apologize personally for being such a tattle tale and felt that it was only because she felt I needed my parents at a point like this. Whatever excuses she was throwing out, I wanted to take a piece of paper and draw the lines out for her so she knew exactly where not to cross. Kate was getting on my nerves.

As I strode past Christian, I gasped as he grabbed my wrist and tugged me back into him. He used a low and husky voice, "Ms Steele, I have a proposition for you."

I was momentarily taken aback by his tone and could only nod for him to go on. Christian's lips brushed the tip of my ear and I shuddered. "I've got an important meeting today with highest of authorities."

"So?"

He chuckled and added seductively, "I'll let you leave me one and we'll call it quits."

I was breathless. "One what?"

Christian's smooth hands caressed my waist and moved down to my hip bones. "A love bite."

Instantly, I swiveled on my feet to size him up. "What?"

He looked amused. Smirking, he nodded at me slowly. "You can leave me a love bite anywhere you want and we're even, no more tantrum about me giving you one."

_Hm, that sounds fair. My inner goddess was now putting on lipstick and preparing to mark him as our man. _

"I..." I swallowed. "I don't know how to give one."

His eyes widened with shock and then he smiled at me sweetly. "I should have known. No worries, I'll guide you. Just pick a spot."

He had marked me so high up that anybody who was a five feet near me would have known it was a love bite. I wanted to do the same to him. Yet, his stupid collar and tie left me little space. I pointed to the small space under his jaw and just above his collar, "here."

His lips pulled up playfully. "Alright," and he pulled me into him so I was pressed up against his chest. "Kiss me there, at the spot you want."

I went on my tiptoes and put my lips against the spot. Christian's breath deepened. "Open your mouth." I did as I was told and my tongue sweeped across his skin, he tasted slightly salty but very yummy. He let out a stifled moan.

I did that for another couple of minutes. "Good, now nibble on it, baby." Nibble? _That _I had loads of experience in. Baring my teeth, I gently grazed his skin. Christian groaned and he placed his hands at my ass, rubbing me in encouragement.

Then, I bit down on him with my front and bottom teeth, pulling his skin away from him and massaging it very slowly. I could feel him moaning from the vibrations in his chest and I put more effort into it, spreading out the area I was covering.

My calve muscles began to ache and I slid down his chest a little. Just in time, Christian's strong arms lifted me from the floor and I wrapped my thighs around him. "Suck, Ana. Suck me hard." He sounded animalistic, hungry for me to do this.

I obliged and sucked. Hard. Christian's hands pushed my back into him and tilted his chin up so I had a better angle. I opened my eyes to watch him as I kept on sucking, he had his eyes closed shut, clearly enjoying his punishment. There was a tingling feeling against my tongue, the suction my mouth had created was strong and I moved a little, alternating between sucking and nibbling.

"Oh, Ana." He groaned in pleasure.

It was only then that his hard-on bumped into my groin. The feeling was intensifying as I was wearing a short skirt and it felt amazing against my lace lingerie. I relished in how I could turn Christian on and sucked harder, Christian's throat was vibrating with every moan that escaped from him.

There was a knock on the door. Christian's eyes flashed open and I stopped kissing him. We both turned to face the door. "Mr Grey, we have to leave now." Taylor's voice was urgent.

Christian gently placed me back on my feet. He looked frustrated. "The things you do to me." He grumbled, and we both stared down at his hard-on. It was slightly visible in his tight pants. "But we have no time for you to take care of it." He whined.

I smiled at him. "Sorry."

"Isn't this whole thing about you getting your revenge?" He shook his head at me in disbelief. "Well, let's take a look at your art work shall we." Christian stepped towards the mirror and before he could even lift his chin, he gasped.

I peeked from the side. It was very visible indeed. There were splotches of a dark red about a finger's length across his upper neck, it was nothing like the delicate one he gave me. "Why's mine not pretty like yours?" I whined.

Christian faced me and pursed his lips. "It takes skill. It's your first time. Besides, I think you've done a pretty good job." Quite the contrary, it looked like a mess. He was going to go to work like this.

There was another knock at the door.

"I'm coming." He shouted, and pulled me into his side as he both walked out of the room.

"Mr G-" Taylor lost his words as his eyes made contact with Christian's mark.

_My inner goddess cheered for me. _

Sawyer's eyes bulged and Gail giggled at the sight. Christian was going to learn how love bites made women feel in public.

"Yes, we'll make it in time." Christian told Taylor. "Sawyer," Christian called.

"Yes sir?"

"Watch yourself today." He snapped at him, his cool fingers found my jaw and he closed his lips around mine.

Forcing my mouth open, his tongue entered my mouth and found its mate. They fenced as he deepened the kiss, bringing himself deeper into my mouth. I was moaning into his mouth when he pulled back to wink at me. I knew exactly why he had done that when he looked up to glare at Sawyer.

"Ms Steele, I'll get the car." Sawyer was flustered and embarrassed.

"Don't take it too hard, Sawyer. He's being a little edgy with everything going on." I reassured the man as he started driving.

Sawyer shrugged. "It's alright, Ms Steele."

"I pity Taylor some times," Sawyer was opening up to me. "Mr Grey is so hard to handle."

"I agree!" I pretty much squealed, taking comfort that I was not the only one who felt Christian was too hard on Taylor all the time.

"You're perfect for me, Ms Steele." Sawyer flashed a broad smile at me.

I flushed under his gaze and subconsciously tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear lobe. "Only when in comparison to the freak show that is Christian and Taylor."

Sawyer focused on the road but shook his head at me. "In comparison to everybody I've worked for, Ms Steele."

"Ana." I corrected him.

"Ana." He repeated, like a child learning alphabets for the very first time. "But I won't call you by that if Mr Grey is around."

Sawyer was a bright man. "Yeah, he feels threatened by you actually."

He chortled, smacking his thigh lightly. "I've noticed." There was a moment of silence, then he tilted his gaze to meet mine that had been trained on him. "So, Ana, what was with the hickey this morning?"

It was my turn to laugh and my blush deepened further. "Punishment." I said, matter-of-factly.

"You do know he's meeting our senator this morning, right?" Sawyer tested. My jaw hit the ground and I stared at him in disbelief.

Christian had allowed me to leave a love bite on his neck when he was going to meet the senator? That was bloody inappropriate and unprofessional! Oh hell, what would the senator think of me?

"KIDDING!" Sawyer burst out into uncontrollable laughter as we stopped at a red light.

"SAWYER!" I barked and began hitting him all over, I was surprised that he was that firm and muscular. Christian sure knew how to pick them.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't resist." He was still recovering from his little prank.

Putting on a stern look, I stared him down. " I'm telling Mr Grey."

I watched in satisfaction as Sawyer's mouth popped open. "Please forgive me, Ms Steele. It was bad judgment on my part." Fear seemed to have shaken his body and he threw me worrisome glances back and forth from watching the road as I pretended to consider it.

He looked like Hermione in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets when she had been petrified. I could not resist any longer, "KIDDING!" I yelled and erupted into my own fit of laughter.

Sawyer narrowed his eyes. "That was hilarious."

"Awwwww, are you angry?" I cooed, poking Sawyer playfully in the cheek. He ignored me. "Sawyer?" His gaze was fixed on the road, completely forgetting my existence.

My inner goddess smirked, Serves you right.

"Don't be mad, Sa-"

"KIDDING!" He played at me again, beginning to giggle and I could not help but laugh along with him. "Okay, truce." He declared. "I don't want to risk your life any further."

"Truce." I agreed, folding my arms in proof that I was going to be an angel for the rest of the car ride.

Sawyer and I had spent the rest of the ride flinging sneaky glances back and forth, sticking out our tongues at each other and jabbing the other's sides. When I had reached the mall Kate and I had arranged to meet, I realized there were many messages in my blackberry.

**From: Christian Grey**

**To: Anastasia Steele**

**Date: 16****th**** September 9.11AM**

**Subject: Branding is for animals**

Ms Steele, I hope you are satisfied with your branding on my neck. Keep safe while you're with Kate and please, sensor anything remotely offensive that comes out of that tyrant. (Please do tell her I said that, it's high time she officially replaces her middle name with 'Tyrant') I will call you right after my meeting.

**Yours, (as you already know)**

**Christian Grey**

**CEO of Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.**

**From: Christian Grey**

**To: Anastasia Steele**

**Date: 16****th**** September 9.20AM**

**Subject: Troubling Bodyguards**

I take from your lack of reply that you are busied with your BODYGUARD. I would like to fervently remind you that he is your BODYGUARD and not your boyfriend, as that position in your life is already occupied. I do wish you would reply and give me your well wishes before I enter the meeting room as there is a lot riding on my shoulders.

**Christian Grey**

**Nervous CEO of Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.**

**From: Christian Grey**

**To: Anastasia Steele**

**Date: 16****th**** September 9.30AM**

**Subject: Sawyer Sucks**

Anastasia Steele, I am absolutely not happy with your absence in replies. This is Christian Trevelyan-Grey, if you recall? I am on the verge of sending Taylor out in search of Sawyer and yourself. On the verge, Ana. Rest assured that a hickey is not the punishment you will receive when I get my hands on you.

**Christian Grey**

**Furious and Jealous CEO of Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.**

"I'll park the car, Ana." Sawyer told me, pulling to a halt at the main entrance. "Then I'll come find you."

I gave him a nod, "Check Zara, Kate can spend a millennium in that shop."

Letting myself out, I quickly typed a reply and hit send before the CIA got involved.

From: Anastasia Steele

To: Christian Grey

Date: 16th September 9.50AM

Subject: Nothing to worry about

Dearest Mr Grey,

I solemnly assure you that Sawyer has been nothing more than good company on our ride to the mall. If it's anything, you should be giving him a bonus on keeping me busy while _you're _busy. I'd wish you luck, but let's be honest with ourselves, you don't need it. I saw the E-Entertainment last night, you were featured in their top 10 richest bachelors, mind you. In which case, I should be the insecure one. How is your meeting, anyway? Any attractive young brunettes catching your eye?

**Anastasia Steele**

**On-Paid-Leave Assistant to Jack Hyde**

That reminded me. I had been away from work for far too long and if I wanted to keep my job as assistant, I had better start going back. Yet, I was silently thankful to Christian, having to deal with Jack Hyde was incredibly devastating. My blackberry buzzed.

**From: Christian Grey**

**To: Anastasia Steele**

**Date: 16****th**** September 9.51AM**

**Subject: YOU'RE ALIVE!**

I was distracted with the thought of you with Sawyer the entire time. A bonus you say? No. As you have watched from E-Entertainment, I clearly lack the funds to do so.

PS. You've given my colleagues somewhere else to look at besides my face.

**Christian Grey**

**CEO of Grey Enterprises Holdings WITH AN ACTUAL GIRLFRIEND, Inc.**

Arms came around me and squeezed as Kate Kavanagh made her grand appearance. "ANA!" She screamed excitedly, holding me so close to her that I could barely breathe.

"Kate!" I returned the joy.

"Oh Ana, I thought I'd never be able to see you with Mr. Money Bags keeping you locked up in your tower!"

Right on cue, she crosses the line. "Kate, we need to talk."

Letting go of me, Kate looked taken aback as she calmed down and waited. "Look, Christian's not some enemy that you're out to destroy. It's really tough on me already to try and work things out with him and you're making things much worse and unbearable."

She crossed her arms, "It's because I don't want you to give in so easily, he's only going to make the same mistake again if you let him walk away easily."

"Kate, I'm already giving him a hard time." I pointed out.

She threw me a condescending look. "Steele, you don't know hot to give anybody a hard time."

"What am I supposed to do?" I questioned, crossing my arms as well defensively.

"Break something? Scream at him? Make him beg and grovel?" Her eyes rolled up into her head as she read out her list.

"Breaking I've not done, but the other two I have." What would I break anyway?

Kate seemed slightly impressed, "Fine. But I still think you're letting him off too lightly."

"You turned his mom, my mom and Ray against him, Kate."

She considered that for a moment and shrugged, then smiled. "Alright, now that seems fair. Are we cool?" She held out open arms and beamed at me.

"Only if you promise to stop harassing my boyfriend."

"Deal."

"Okay." We hugged for a long while.

When she pulled away from me, the very words she uttered were, "Zara is having a sale." Which effectively ended out angst moods and kicked start our shopping spree.

An hour or two later, Kate had landed us in Victoria Secret. Sawyer and I stood awkwardly by the changing rooms as Kate buzzed in and out of it. She was excited about using them with Elliott, no doubt. I took this opportunity to reply Christian, which I had completely forgotten through the craziness that was Kate.

**From: Anastasia Steele**

**To: Christian Grey**

**Date: 16****th**** September 12.10AM**

**Subject: Slipped my mine**

Sorry for the late reply, I was busy spending money while you were busied with earning it. You're sarcasm knows no bounds, Mr Grey. Not to worry, I assure you that Sawyer would look just as ravishing in my Cartier matching diamond set as I will.

PS. That's a good thing. I wouldn't want anyone gazing into your beautiful face.

**Love,**

**Anastasia Steele**

**Assistant to Jack Hyde**

"Definitely, thank you." Kate rewarded the sales assistant with a gorgeous grin as she checked out the items.

I stumbled over in awe. "You're buying half the store."

Kate had gotten her hands on anything remotely sexy. There were lace lingerie, silk ones, thongs in so many different shades and colours that I had never seen. "Ana, you have no idea how easily they…" She blushed a wild red "tear." I flushed alongside her, clearly aware of what she was referring to. Seems to me like the Grey brothers both shared similar behaviour in the treatment of beautiful lingerie.

I caught sight of the total bill and smacked her on her arm, "KATE!" I hissed.

She brushed it off casually, "Elliott insists."

The sales assistant was finally done individually wrapping each and every set, placing them in multiple pink Victoria Secret bags. My gaze flickered from Sawyer to Kate and then I, how were we going to carry this? We were all fully loaded, with every inch of Sawyer's arms, shoulders and fingers accounted for. Kate and I did not have it as bad, but our loads were too heavy for us to handle already.

"I'll get it." A familiar low voice stepped in between Kate and I, reaching for the bags sitting on the counter.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21: Surprise!

**Author's Note!**

**It's been difficult for me to get down to writing these few days because Tom Daley is my lock screen picture. He deeply distracts me. And when I get past the lock screen, he smiles at me from my home screen! **

**Hahaha okay. Daley's put me into a light-headed mood, so here's a funny little chapter for all of you readers out there!**

"ETHAN!" Kate said slightly too loudly. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"

Sawyer and I both threw her a sickened glance, knowing full well what Ethan was doing here. There was no way Kate could get her plans past both Sawyer and I. Clearly, this was Kate's plan all along. "Hey Ethan." I greeted him and he reached down for a hug.

"Hey Ana." Ethan was dressed in the flowery board shorts I had worn and a tight fitting muscle shirt.

"How's your course coming along?" I probed as Kate gleefully led us out of the shop.

Ethan paced with me while Sawyer trailed behind. "Turns out it was just a minor mistake. Someone corrected it before I could even get there." He shook his head at the inconvenience. "By the time I got there, it was time to head back."

I gave him a genuine smile, "That's good, nothing serious."

"Yeah," he agreed, his hands reaching for my shopping bags. "Let me." Flushing, I let my grip loosen around the handles and he took them.

"I'LL GET IT!" Sawyer was all legs and hands as he attempted to grab the bags out of Ethan's hands.

Ethan smirked, "It's alright dude, leave this one to me. Besides, I'm sure only one bag here is actually Ana's." Jerking his head towards Kate, he did a little curly action with his index finger. "That chick's bananas."

Even though she was probably eight stalls away, Kate still spun back to silence Ethan with her killer glare. "I HEARD THAT!"

"YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU." Ethan hollered to her, cherubic grin spread across his face. Very subtly, under his breath, he added, "Crazy."

Kate pursed her lips and dropped her bags on the floor. The shoppers beside her made a path around her, clearly realizing that she was not one to be meddled with. Kate used her index and pointed downwards, "Jerk." Without so much as another word, Kate spun on her heels and stomped into a nearby shop.

Ethan never failed to drive Kate insane. Yet, laughing out loud, Ethan shook his head at his sister's temper and cooly walked up to the abandoned bags. I observed as he collected them one by one upon his arms. No matter how bad those two fought or argued, it was obvious that they loved each other.

"How've you been, Ana?" Ethan asked as he straightened up and walked us to a nearby bench.

I thought of all the events that had passed while he was gone and sighed. "Your sister told on Christian to my dad and mom and Christian's mom."

Ethan frowned, condemning her actions. "She's insane, I told you."

My lips pulled up at a corner. "She is. I was going to go full-blown rage on her just now but decided that I was in no mood to fight with one more person I love."

Ethan chuckled, "I'll gladly throw a tantrum at her on your behalf. Just say the word." He began placing the bags by our feet, neatly lining them up. Sawyer followed suit.

"Ah, Ethan Kavanagh." I started. "Spill the beans."

He pointed at his sister who was smiling at bikinis. "Kate called. She said she needed help with her haul."

I was skeptical. "That's it?"

He swallowed and huffed. "Well, she mentioned you'd be here." Ethan rubbed his palms together and then slowly faced me. "And, I happened to want to see you."

Once again, I blushed, the blood rushing to my cheeks. Ethan's fingers caressed my jawline and I shuddered inwardly. "I missed you, Ana."

Sawyer cleared his throat.

Ethan looked up at a lingering Sawyer and pursed his lips. "I'm going to say this, so if you'd like to feel vastly uncomfortable, you can stay." In response, Sawyer squared his shoulders and folded his arms, clearly not budging.

Ethan returned to focus on me, "Ana, I'm sorry for what I said to you. About being uncertain. I was lying." Okay, that was what Kate had said. "I've always had a thing for you, but just never really got the opportunity to explore it. If you'd just give me a chance to prove to you that I am se-"

We both felt the vibration at the same time. "Excuse me," I said and reached for my blackberry. Ethan sighed as Christian's face showed up on my screen and leaned back into the bench. I have him an apologetic smile and pressed answer.

"Steele."

"Hey baby, how's shopping?" I could hear a fluster of movement behind him and knew that his meeting had just ended. Leave it to Christian to be so uptight about timings.

"Kate bought the entire mall." I whined.

He laughed. "Need help with the Tyrant's load? I hear she's got hold of Elliott's MasterCard."

"And his Visa and Amex." I added.

Christian let out a low whistle. "Did you buy anything?"

"I bought a pair of slippers."

"Ana..." He groaned over the line.

"They're slim cut and bright orange!" I defended myself.

"I'd rather you get a slim cut and bright orange sundress." He scolded. "Scratch that, a bikini." I rolled my eyes. "If you look in your wallet, my credit cards are sitting there." He said matter-of-factly.

"WHAT?!" I screeched and both men leaned in. Grabbing my purse, I pulled out my wallet and unzipped it. Just as he had said, the entire left portion of card slots were full when they should have been empty.

"My money is your money, Ana. Just spend it all, I don't care." He said nonchalantly and I began pulling them out one at a time. Each and every one of them was a different colour and a different bank, with the name : Christian Trevelyan-Grey punched into them.

"Sawyer," I called. "Can I get you some Prada shirts?"

Sawyer smiled from the side, recognizing that I was off taunting Christian with my tactics. "Hell no you won't, Ana." Christian scolded.

Brave, I talked back. "Your money is my money, I'd like to spoil my bodyguard with branded goods."

Christian groaned in frustration. Ethan caught sight of the credit cards and shook his head at me. "That man's worse than Kate."

There was a sharp intake of breath and Christian growled. "Who's that?"

"Ethan."

"Why's he there?" Christian questioned, clearly unhappy that he was uninformed. Christian and I both said the word together, "Kate."

"Why's he back so early from his registration screw up?" Christian probed. Unfortunately, I had never mentioned Ethan's problem, I had only ever said he was going away for a bit.

Christian was being suspicious. "Christian..."

He laughed rather smartly, "Nothing wrong with changing his gender to girl and clashing it with the boys dormitory registration."

"Ethan, did your problem have to do with gender?" I do not even know why I bothered to ask.

Ethan nodded, "Had to go prove that I was a boy."

"Christian..." Meddling little child.

"Ana, I'm coming over now." Christian was annoyed, I could imagine him running his fingers through his copper hair. "Taylor, car."

I gave Sawyer an exasperated look, "He's bullying Taylor again." Sawyer chuckled, shrugging his shoulders.

"What was that?" Christian demanded.

"Nothing." I sang sweetly. "You know where I am, come if you wish."

"You have Ethan and Sawyer there, why wouldn't I?" He snapped and then he hung up on me.

"What did Grey want?" Ethan began helping me slot the credit cards back in.

"He's on he's way here."

"But we were just leaving!" Said Kate from behind us, causing us to jump in surprise. She had a small bag, probably filled with multiple skanky bikinis.

Ethan stretched his hand out to her, offering to take it. "I'm sure we can wait a while for Grey."

"No, we can't!" Kate insisted. "We've got a party at my apartment and Grey's not invited."

"Party?" Sawyer, Ethan and I questioned in unison.

Kate nodded with a smirk, "You heard me, now off we go, quickly."

Kate grabbed hold of Ethan's arm and tugged him up, hauling him off. As I stood to follow, Sawyer fell into stride with me. "I have a bad feeling about this, Ana."

"With Kate, anything can happen. Could you drop Taylor a text to inform him?"

Sawyer fished out his phone and did as he was told, "Kate will be the death of all of us."

"Let's play spin the bottle." Kate declared, our whole party sitting around the living room to form an oddly shaped circle. Ethan sat on my left and Kate on my right, flanking me from the ring of my neighbors in this building. Kate had, for whatever reason, invited Steve and Wren from upstairs and Jennifer and Rachel from across the hall. Then, there was Mia, looking as out of place as ever.

Leaning into her, I hissed under my breath, "Let Christian in, Kate."

Kate shook her head at me stubbornly. "My apartment my rules."

"I won't play if he's not here." I threatened.

Kate viciously narrowed her eyes, complying me to concede but I held my ground firmly. She let out an annoyed sigh and decided to compromise, "Fine. He can come in if he promises to play the game. Both of you have to."

How hard could Spin The Bottle be? I used to play it when I was younger and the worst thing in it was to change an item of clothing with the opposite gender or kissing, both was pretty sound dares. "Sure."

Kate gestured to Sawyer, who heaved a sigh of relief as he was finally able to open the apartment door to allow his boss and Taylor in. Christian marched in, clearly pissed at Kate's behavior. Taylor nodded at Sawyer and they both hung back at the kitchen, exchanging information with each other.

"Christian, come sit here!" Mia beat me before I could lure him to buffer my skin from either Kavanagh. I felt better with Christian sitting by Mia though, that way she did not seem too afraid of the others around her.

"Kate's making us play a silly game." I explained as he sat down cross-legged across me, scanning our threesome with judgmental eyes. "Which I promise you'll play since she let you in."

Somewhat like a petulant child, Christian pouted and pursed his lips. "I'd break down that door. I would have."

"Right." Kate hissed at him and I smacked her thigh.

Adorably, Mia reached for Christian and stroked his hair in attempt to soothe him. I observed as he visibly calmed, drawing her into his embrace as she cooed at him to relax and just have fun. It was only then that I realized that the two other girls in our circle were watching on and letting out 'oooohs' and 'aaaahs'. Clearly, they had figured out who he was.

_Dammit, my inner goddess crunched her knucles in anticipation for a cat fight._

"Okay, let's begin." I piped up, trying to break the trance the two girls were falling into.

"Wait, what game?" Christian asked, enjoying his sister's hands on him and refusing to move an inch.

"Spin the bottle."

Confusion filled his eyes and he began to sit up slowly. "What's that?"

"Christian… you've never played?" This was probably one of the most played games through high school, especially great for breaking the ice. Which was good, seeing that Kate had mysteriously invited Mia and allowed Christian to play. He shook his head.

Kate scoffed, "Bet you didn't have many friends."

Christian shrugged, barely defensive. He had not many friends. Christian only had one friend. Christian had Elena. That crazy troll had somehow seemed to have dissolved from our lives for quite a period that I was beginning to wonder if she had something up her sleeve.

Rolling her eyes, Kate lifted the empty wine bottle from the middle of the circle and raised it in the air. "We spin this bottle, whoever the head points to will pick up one of these folded papers," she shook the quarter-filled bottle that she had freshly done, "and do it."

"Simple enough." Christian agreeable nodded, wrapping his arm around Mia's waist.

"Yes, some of these…" She was searching for the word, "tasks…require two or more people. So upon receiving, the player will spin again and the head will determine who else will be included."

Christian shot me a wink. "Let's do this."

"Since I'm host, I'll spin first." Kate said before she put the bottle down and giving it one hard spin.

The entire circle followed the bottle in its ballet spin, dancing on it's side until it began to lose speed and slow. I crossed my fingers the same time Ethan did and we looked at each other and laughed. These tasks were usually embarrassing to the point of video recording. Kate had taped me doing too many things this game had provided her with. It stopped at Mia and she squealed, squeezing Christian's hand.

Mia bent over her knees and grabbed the bottle, making a show out of shaking it, she tipped it over to pick out one folded paper. It was impossible to distinguish them, Kate had used white paper for all. Unfolding it, Mia laughed. "I'm supposed to put three piece of ice down my shirt and dance until it falls out."

Kate vanished into the kitchen and brought out three squares of ice cubes, handing them to Mia. "In the center of the circle!" Mia rose up to the challenge, standing in the middle, she blushed a little before putting the three cubes into her chest area. We all guffawed and cackled as Mia did a couple of chest pumps and Macarena moves to get it out, I noticed that Ethan was laughing especially loud, finally, it fell onto the floor.

Kate swooped in with a towel and wiped it out. "Alright, Mia, you spin the bottle."

Still freshly damp in the fabric of her shirt, Mia spun the bottle. It landed on Steve and he quickly drew one out. "Hah!" He held on to his stomach as he laughed. "It says 'French Kiss a member of the opposite sex for 1 minute'." His eyes scanned our circle and brushed across me as well, igniting my red cheeks as I slanted away from his gaze.

"Let's see who the lucky girl is." Steve spun the bottle and I crushed my eyes shut, no need for another kiss to another man, I had done too many already. There were cheers and I resisted opening my eyes.

There was a warm breath against my ear. Oh hell no. "It's not you, Ana." Ethan had whispered and my eyelids fluttered open just in time to gape at Steve getting it on with one of the two girls.

"Okay, Steve, time's up." Kate called it as her stopwatch beeped, destroying the moment. Steve chuckled as he sat back down in his spot, leaving the poor girl scarlet and very shocked indeed.

He spun again and it landed on Kate. Quietly, I wished something more intense to befall upon Kate. She was a tough nut to crack and I knew she would love the challenge anyway. "I know half the things I put in here are R21." She told us all as she dished out her fold. I knew full well she was not kidding. As she read it, her eyes turned sneaky and she cracked up. "Dry hump anyone in the circle, whether girl or boy, with your groins rubbing against each other for two minutes."

_Bingo, my inner goddess cheered as she struck the lottery. _

Kate looked slightly worried, she cast me a pleading glance. "I sure hope it's you, Ana."

I licked my lips and stuck my tongue out at her. "Why deprive Steve or Wren of such an impeccable opportunity?"

"SPIN IT, KATE!" The boys hooted and Christian folded his arms, clearly enjoying watching Kate suffer.

Kate gave the bottle one hard spin and we all cheered as it spun at such a high speed, swinging so fast that we were barely certain where it would stop. Finally, it began to lose kinetic energy and started to slow. "I'd laugh if you had to dry hump me, Kate." Ethan gave her a disgusted look.

"Dammit," Kate cursed. "I completely forgot I was playing with my brother!" The wine bottle's speed was dangerously slow now.

"Hey!" Mia piped up. "Christian and I are here too!"

"Oh right, dammit." Kate spat, thinking fast on her feet. "Nothing gross between siblings, we spin again if it lands on someone blood related."

"DEAL!" All the siblings in the circle declared as the bottle halted…

There was a round of shocked looks. My eyes widened as I tried to grasp who it had just landed on. My inner goddess put on her spectacles for a better look, clearly in disbelief. Kate must have offended every god there is out there. "OH HELLLLLL NO." Kate slammed her thighs in frustration.

"Re-spin it." Christian gritted his teeth.

"No re-spinning." Ethan chuckled and the others nodded in agreement.

"Come on, Kate." Jennifer clapped her hands together. Obviously, she wished it had been her instead of Kate. Ugh.

Wren gave her a playful jab from the side. "Be a good sport."

"Fine, get over here, Grey." I sat there, still stunned by the news. Taylor and Sawyer came over to watch the scene, intrigued and interested by what was being promised to them.

Christian's eyes narrowed. "I don't think Elliott or Ana will like this." He looked at me, but I was still unmoving, I could have been carved stone at this moment.

Kate mimicked him. "Of course they won't. I'm humping my boyfriend's brother and my best friend's boyfriend. Let's get this done and over with, get here." She studied me for a moment the same length Christian did as he slid over to Kate. "Sorry, Steele."

"Hey, I can cover her eyes." Ethan offered, trying to be helpful.

"Nah, I wanna watch this." Oh, I speak.

"Just know that neither of us are enjoying this one, Ana." Christian shot daggers at Ethan as he reached his destination.

Climbing on top of him and sitting as far from his thighs as possible, Kate had to emphasize. "NEITHER."

"You're not even touching him right." Rachel exclaimed, bending over and pulling both of Kate's ankles towards her. From the jerk, Kate gasped as she fell forward, her groin slamming into Christian's.

"RACHEL." She scolded.

Steve reached for the stopwatch. In a taunting tone, he waved it in the air. "Well, the time ain't counting down until you start rocking."

"Hell." She cussed and began humping my boyfriend. I watched as Kate put both her hands in the air and grinded herself against Christian over and over. Mia had her eyes shielded by both her palms. Christian had his hands at his sides, palms pressed against the floor as he glared into the ceiling.

I knew they were not enjoying it, but still I failed to keep the pinch of jealousy within my system under control. My inner goddess pressed play on the memory of my meeting Christian. It would have been Kate. Would she have been living my lifestyle now if it had been her?

Taylor and Sawyer watched on as amusement played across their faces, trying their best to stifle their laughter at the awkwardness that had transcended upon us all. It must have been the longest two minutes of my whole entire life. "TIME!"

Kate and Christian practically leaped apart from each other. With a new sense of annoyance, Christian pointed at Ethan and jerked his thumb to his abandoned hole in the circle. "Move."

Ethan laughed and nodded, crawling over to Christian's spot as Christian replaced Ethan's. Christian pressed his lips against my cheek in reassurance and his left hand clasped over my right, his thumb gently stroking it as if trying to revive my security.

Kate shook off the chills he had brought her and whirled the bottle. Many rounds were played; by the time I came back from the land of my imagination there had been many changes in our circle. Jennifer had her shirt off, Wren was flaunting his abs in just his boxers, Mia was wearing Kate's bra and Rachel was proudly in Wren's shirt.

I was barely focused until it landed on Ethan. Kate laughed, "That took for-ever to land on you, bro. I'm begging for payback."

"This one's interesting." Ethan's eyebrows knitted together. "I'm going to have to spank a member of the opposite gender 20 times in her underwear."

And the heavens must have been watching, because his spin landed the bottle on me. Nobody could miss Christian's sharp intake of breath. "These Kavanaghs are off doing nasty things with others' boyfriends and girlfriends." I heard Wren comment teasingly.

"No." Christian said firmly, his hand a death grip on mine.

I contemplated whining about it and insisting Ethan pick someone else. But, then again, I had just watched Mr Christian Grey receive a warm humpity hump from my best friend. He was not the only one getting all the fun today. It was time for some revenge.

Snatching my hand back I jumped to my feet, "Well, bring it on Ethan."

"No, Ana." Christian growled.

Casually, I leaned down to whisper into his ear. "Not as if I'm not used to it, Mr Grey. You won't be having all the fun."

There were a few whines, especially from Kate. "She can't back out now!"

I stood upright again and crossed the circle. "I'm not." I assured them. Ethan chuckled as he stretched his arms wide to receive me.

"Grey, I'll do you a favor." He told a furious Christian who was now wearing one of the world's best hooded gazes. "She won't have to take off her skirt, just lift it."

"You're such a sweetie, Ethan." I cooed sarcastically as I lowered myself to his lap. Mia moved away a few inches to make way for my hands and head. Rachel shuffled back as well, but held on to my feet. This reminded me very strangely of Christian's thigh holding my legs down.

Ethan's body vibrated with his laughter. "Not to worry, I'll be gentle." A cool gust of wind chilled my ass the moment his lifted my skirt. Thank my lucky stars that I had chosen to wear sexy lingerie today; it would have been extremely embarrassing if I were wearing my granny panties. "Brace yourself!"

Ethan landed a palm on my butt cheeks and I jumped a little, unfamiliar to the softness that he was in comparison to my other perpetrator. Ethan gave me another one and I realized this was not actually a punishment, his smacks picked up speed and resembled feathers against my buttocks. He was barely spanking me.

"You're not even whacking her, come on." The others jeered, all except for Christian.

"We're at ten." Ethan stated. "I'll hit a little harder, but nothing more!" I winced as he hit slightly harder and by the time he was done, I was just slightly stinging. "FIN." The memory of Christian making love to me after spanking me was suddenly very hilarious and bubbles of giggles escaped my lips.

Before Ethan could lift me off him completely, Christian's hand seized my arm and he tugged me to my feet. "Enough." He snarled and then very violently hauled me out of our apartment. Sawyer gave me a worried look as we exited the apartment, Taylor and himself uncertain if they should interfere.

Before we could get down the stairs, an angry voice pursued us. "STOP. RIGHT. THERE."

Playlist:

I KNEW YOU WERE TROUBLE;TAYLORSWIFT

EVERYBODY TALKS;NEONTREES

ON TOP OF THE WORD;IMAGINEDRAGONS


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22: Time Bomb

**Author's Note!**

**I'm glad MOST of you enjoyed the last scene (: It was just for fun! My school's starting tomorrow. So yup. Oh well. And yes, this is the Ana melt down you have been waiting for. Enjoy this! I'll probably start posting once a week from now on. Can I ask if anybody wants to be my sex scene writer? I'm horrid at writing those. PM me if you're interested!**

_Tick tick tick. _

I was like a bomb about to be set off. After so many days of this drama and nonsense, I was pretty much about pushed to the edge. Unfortunately, I was not referring to a pleasurable cliff but rather the end of the world kind of a cliff. There was Christian's betrayal, Ethan's comfort, Kate's intense issue with being unable to leave me alone and so much more. It was all becoming way too overwhelming.

Too overwhelming.

My head was throbbing. I was annoyed and irritated, having allowed the wind to push me from side to side. In fact, given that it was multiple winds from differing directions, it was incredibly difficult for me to even know what I wanted anymore. There was barely a second for me to stop and think about how I felt about things anymore, here I was trying my best to accept and forgive Christian's infidelity and there was Ethan and Kate trying to distract me.

My brain clicked together as I finally realized what had been going on these few days. Kate and Ethan. Kavanaghs. Those Kavanaghs. I highly doubt Ethan had any clue, but surely, Kate was the mastermind behind all this. Kate's main intention was to distract me with Ethan to the point that I would be unable to focus on Christian, leaving our issues unresolved. Then there was Ethan with his confusing words at the mall, with his feel against my skin, everything about it seemed to fall in place.

Everything was meant to keep the distance between Christian and I growing. Kate was trying to push me away from Christian. Unfortunately, I knew full well that Kate only had good intentions for me. Kate's first few boyfriends had cheated on her. I had held her hand and stroked her hair while she cried into my shoulder, she was in so much pain to the point that she vowed never to forgive a man for ever cheating on her.

**That **was why she had been so insistent on taking me from Christian and guiding me to Ethan. She was trying her best to redirect me to someone she could trust me to, that she knew I would be happy with, that I would never be cheated on. Who else better than her brother? Kate had known him all his life and understood his true nature and character inside out.

But Kate had not understood. How could she have not?! I had told her countless of times that I wanted to be with Christian. That despite his faults and his betrayal, I was not going to run away from the one man that I love. Christian had always only been the man that I love and will only love. I was broken without him, even if being with him wrecked me already.

"What do you want, Mr Kavanagh?" Christian asked sourly, his right hand still placed against my back, mid-guiding me down the stairs.

Ethan clenched his jaw. "Ana."

Christian straightened up and flexed his biceps, his hand slipping down to clasp mine in his own. "Unfortunately, you can't have her."

Ethan did the same, crossing his arms and pushing his chest out. "I'm not backing out of this one, Grey."

Christian smirked, taking a step towards Ethan. "What does that mean, you f***ing asshole?"

"I'm going to stay and fight for her." Ethan stated, flinching at the name calling Christian had started.

Taylor and Sawyer tensed. Sawyer leaped from behind me and jumped out to Ethan's side while Taylor half stepped to Christian's. They were prepared to stop a fight that was about to go down. Christian took another step towards Ethan, his chin tilted up in arrogance. "You may fight," He growled, "but you'll never win her."

"Bastard." Ethan snapped, closing this distance between them further.

"F***er." Kate and Christian spat in unison. Kate peeked out from our apartment. Christian barely gave her any attention, sizing Ethan up as they locked chests. Their chests were pressed against each other as Christian let my hand go. Taylor grabbed Christian by his arms, trying to pull him away from Ethan, who had Sawyer's arms crossed against his chest.

Kate ran towards them and tried to help her brother. That was the final straw. My bomb had not been diffused, instead, it had been building up pressure.

"GET ANA THE F*** OUT OF HERE!" Christian hollered at Sawyer, still engaged in the eye battle he had started with Ethan.

Instead, I strode right past the bullfight and right into Kate. I grabbed her hair and yanked her down, she hit the floor hard and before she could realize what was happening, I pinned her down at her waist. "FU** YOU, KAVANAGH." I barked at her as I slapped her over and over.

The fury had overtaken me and I was heavily pissed. This girl will be the death of me. Kate grabbed my wrists and tried to defend herself, lifting it up high so that I could lose my balance. She succeeded, I fell against her chest, giving her time to flip me over so she could swop positions with me. Her blue eyes searched me, cheeks reddened by my attacks, "WHAT THE F***, ANA?!"

"STOP F***ING MEDDLING IN MY BUSINESS, KATE." I thrashed against her, my thighs flailing as I hit her repeatedly in the ass. "F*** YOU."

Kate balled her fists and in pure defence, slammed it into my jaw. The moment her hand had let go of mine, I delivered one into her boob. "I'M F***ING HELPING, STEELE."

"YOU'RE NOT." I insisted, throwing her off me with all my strength and sitting on her, scratching her hard at her neck. She screamed in pain and reached up to slap me once more. The pain reeled through my system.

"I'M HELPING YOU REALIZE THAT CHRISTIAN'S A DICK AND ETHAN'S YOUR BLOODY PRINCE." Kate hollered at me, her nails digging into my wrists as she caught them once more.

"YOU'RE WRONG." I tried to seize my wrists again. "YOU'RE WRONG." She tightened her grip, digging into my skin. I screamed and pulled them. "CHRISTIAN MAY BE A DICK BUT HE'S MY PRINCE."

"BREAK THEM UP, DAMMIT." Came Christian's exasperated shout. I had turned to stare at the four men who had just stood there idly, watching the fight that they had not anticipated. What was it with men and cat fights?!

Just then, Kate's fingers locked around my ponytail and yanked. I screamed in pain, about to give it to her once more but strong arms gripped me from under my arms and lifted me off Kavanagh. Kate leaped to her feet and launched herself at me, right into the steady and firm arms of Taylor who had locked her wrists behind her back in one swift movement.

"Get her downstairs." Christian said calmly.

"GET THE F*** OFF ME, SAWYER." I barked, trying to make his job more difficult as I anchored myself to the floor with my sneakers.

Not even flinching, Sawyer tossed me over his shoulder. My head landed against his padded chest and my legs dripped over the other side. "Dammit, Ana." Sawyer muttered to me, "Please stay still, I don't want to drop you."

"You better not." I growled into his face as I turned to glare at him. My lips grazed against his stubby chin on accident as he took the steps two by two. Sawyer stiffened, taking the steps quicker but as if trying to check what had brushed against him, he tilted his head towards me. Bad timing it really was and horrible angle, Sawyer's lips were the ones to brush against mine this time round.

We both tensed at the same time and losing his grip, I felt my entire torso slip off Sawyer. I let out an ear-piercing scream. Just before I could hit the ground, Sawyer's firm arms caught me again, swinging me into his chest, I had my nose nuzzled into his chest.

Sawyer then opened the car and placed me into the passenger seat. I observed as he raced to the other side, got in and kicked start the engine. "I am f***ing screwed." He muttered under his breath.

"We're not waiting?" I whispered.

Sawyer shook his head, "Taylor's driving Mr Grey. Besides, I think he'd want a word with both Kavanaghs."

"Sawyer, about th-"

"Luke." He corrected me. Then he turned to face me, his eyes scanned me and lingered on my probably bruising cheek. "We need to get you fixed up, anyway."

I flushed. "Luke." I liked the way it rolled off my tongue.

"And well, that was barely a kiss." He tried to blow it off. "You would know if I was kissing you, Ana."

Whether from the bruising or not, I felt my cheeks heat up and I looked away quickly. What was that supposed to mean?! Sawyer pulled up at Escala with a chuckle, parking in Christian's assigned bay. He had a spring in his steps as he retrieved me and ushered me into the elevator. Sawyer pressed the codes and then stepped out of the elevator.

"Luke!" I called, just as the lift doors were about to close shut. With a wicked grin, he stepped in between the closing doors, the doors sliding back open.

I almost regretted doing so. "Yes, Ana?"

"You…" I tried to find the words. "You don't have to ride in the staff elevator," I swept the floor with my eyes. "Just… ride with me."

It was just a ride up. I never understood why the staff and the clients had to ride in two separate elevators. Sawyer let himself in and stood by me as we watched the doors close upon us. The lift carriage began to move and I felt slightly uncomfortable. It was awkward as Sawyer and I rode, there was not even any random lift music to distract me. Even with Sawyer, the sexual tension was high.

Treacherous body.

Sawyer cleared his throat and I realized that we had arrived at the pent house. Blushing, I made my way out of the elevator and into the living room.

"Oh, Ana!' Gail cried. "What happened to you?"

Casting my eyes downward, I tried my best to avoid the question. "Alright, sit down." She scolded. "I'll get the first aid kit." Gail vanished and I strode towards the couch. Sawyer lingered by my side, his hands stuffed into his pockets.

When Gail had returned, Sawyer stretched his arm out to collect the kit from Gail, smiling at her as he did. "I'll do it. Why don't you help make Ana some early dinner?"

"That's so kind of you, Sawyer." Gail gushed. "Will Chinese do, Ana?"

I gave her a nod, which sent her away and observed nervously as Sawyer got to his knees very slowly in front of me. Biting my lip, I tried not to squeal as his fingers made contact with my jaw. Sawyer's eyes were green, a dark forest green, concentrated as he pressed a gauze against my inflamed jaw. As he did, there was a chilling and yet tingling sensation that spread through, partially from the anesthetic.

He let out a low whistle. "Kate really packs a punch."

I nodded and tried to relax, giggling a little. "Yeah, but she barely got half as many blows on me as I did to her."

He chuckled in return, "Yeah, I know. I watched."

"Did you enjoy it?" His fingers cradled my jaw and I was about to hit them away when I was made aware that he was only applying cream onto it.

Sawyer's chuckle continued, his eyes transfixed upon his handiwork. "Quite a fair bit, to be honest." I smacked him on his waist playfully. "What!" He squeaked in defense, "I was only worried when she got on top of you."

This kind of care should be way past the amount he would have signed for in his contract. Finally, he was done with my jaw and released it gently. It felt much better, with the gel and cream on it and his expert fingers that had rubbed it in so well.

Green on blue, his eyes caught hold of mine. His fingers slipped under mine, wrenching them from pressing into the material of the couch. My inner goddess squealed in excitement. His hands were warm in mine. Dropping his gaze, Sawyer looked at them and then placed my left palm upon his lap.

The gauze touched my wrist once more, this time, I let out a hiss as the antiseptic seeped into my blood stream. "Looks like she scratched you good." Sawyer sighed, covering the entire length of my wrist. When he put the gauze down on the table, it had come up red with my own blood.

"Don't worry about it," Sawyer cooed, "It's just a little close to important arteries, that's all." I rolled my eyes at him and he laughed, applying the same cream on it. "Do you want band aids?"

Before I could answer, he fished one out and opened it. "Let me just catch the big one and I'll leave the little ones to be." I swallowed and could only nod. With overwhelming tenderness, Sawyer gently soothed it over my inner wrist.

My eyes could barely leave him as he did the other. Had Sawyer always been this… gentle? I searched my memories to find one, any, but came up with none. So this was not his normal behaviour. It could not be. My body was not used to it, flaming up with every brush of his fingers and desperately trying to ignore his close proximity. Especially the fact that he was in between my legs kept me flushing with warmth.

To my surprise, Sawyer's fingers brushed against my collarbone. "She got you there." It sent waves of… what? Pleasure? I gulped. How could I feel this way about Sawyer? What was I feeling? What was this?

"I've got this." My head jerked up to find Christian entering the room, Taylor trailing behind him.

"Of course, Mr Grey." Sawyer got up and retreated to standing beside Taylor, shooting me a playful wink.

So he was aware of what he was doing! Was he?

Instead of getting on his knees and in between my thighs like Sawyer had done, Christian merely just sat by my side and studied my upper chest. I tried to control my breathing, watching as Sawyer began muttering things into Taylor's ear. Taylor smiled and nodded.

What were they saying?

"Ana, does it hurt?" Christian asked sweetly as he waved the antiseptic across my chest, spreading the coolness, which met with the sharp pain I felt. I winced. Christian tutted. "Teaches you to never get into a fight."

I pouted a little as he began applying the cream, his fingers lingering longer than they should be along my collarbones. "Not everyone has a personal trainer like you, Christian."

Christian laughed with a teasing edge, "Claude's open to take you too, Ana. You know that."

I thought it through for a second. "I may take you on that." Another thought crossed my mind. "Or Lu-" Oh shit. "Sawyer, could teach me."

Christian capped the medication and narrowed his eyes suspiciously at me. "Teach you what?"

"He's…" I felt uncomfortable under his questioning gaze. "Good at martial arts and self defense. He could teach me that."

"Who can?"

Before I could realize it was a trap, I said, "Luke."

Christian pursed his lips. Shit. "Sawyer," He said with great emphasis, "is too busy to teach you anything."

"Right, Sawyer." If only the world could end right now.

Christian's unhappiness was dripping from every inch of him, "Ana, I'd like to see you in my office now." Turning on his heel, he strode into the room and left the door ajar.

I rose from my seat and threw Sawyer an anxious glance. "Sorry." He mouthed at me and I shrugged it away. I lifted my finger and dragged it across my neck, signifying to him that I was about to die a very horrific death. Taylor looked exceptionally confused at what was going on.

Sawyer shook his index finger at me and gestured for me to come to him.

What did he want? I made my way to him slowly, my brain trying desperately to think of what Christian wanted to say and what Sawyer was about to do. When I had reached my destination, Sawyer's lips danced up into a playful smirk and he leaned close into my ear.

His breath tickled me and I giggled a little, to which he laughed quietly. "Ana," He said, "You'll probably end up having sex in there."

The color rose into my cheeks as I remained in that position, frozen and stunned at what he had just said. Taylor, having heard what he had said, punched Sawyer in the gut. Sawyer winced but kept on smiling sneakily at me. The whole world knew about Christian and his sexcapades, I swear.

"ANASTASIA ROSE STEELE." My name was barked from the room that was now behind me. Christian was not a patient man.

Sawyer placed both his hands on my shoulders and shook me, trying to unfreeze me and awake me from my state. "Come on. You took down Kate, you can take him down too." He whispered at me.

That was true. I swallowed once more before shuffling towards the office. My heart was a tha-dump tha-dump as I dragged my feet, knowing that I could have been walking towards the gallows for all I cared.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23: At Long last

**Author's Note!**

**Thanks for waiting patiently for this update. I'll probably start updating weekly, on Fridays, and possibly, if I have the time, in the middle of the week as well. This week has been… sigh, and I lost my math lecture book. So yup. Here you go. Do review, I love your suggestions!**

I walked into Christian's office like I had played a naughty prank on a teacher and had been sent to the principle. With my head hanging low, I avoided his eyes as I stepped into his office. I knew he was siting at his table with his arms folded.

My heart was racing. With what I had done... Especially with Sawyer and then what Sawyer had said... Oh my. I barely knew what to expect from Christian.

"Close the door, Anastasia." Christian commanded.

He had used my full name! That was not a good sign. Without once looking up, I kicked the door close and it slammed audibly. There was a painful silence as I stood by the door and he sat in his seat watching me. I wondered if he was about to punish me.

"Anastasia." He said and I almost jumped. "Why are you standing so far away? You know I like you close."

Very slowly, I made my way towards him. Step by step until I was right at the chairs in front of his table. "Take a seat, Ms Steele." His voice was even, but I knew better than to let my guard down. I sat down with an oomph and straightened up, however, still cleaning the floor with my gaze.

"I have a few pressing matters I would like to address," he started, tapping his fingers against the wooden table. "Starting with the most... Recent."

Hell. He's going to start with Sawyer! I squeezed my eyes shut. "Look at me when I'm talking to you, Anastasia." He scolded and I quickly met his eyes, they were blazing grey like they had been ignited. My heart thumped noisily as he licked his lips. "So, since when have you been on a first name basis with" and with great emphasis he said "Sawyer."

Under his scrutiny, I could barely concentrate. I watched as his gaze caressed my face and then slide down to my neck, seducing my chest and then dropping to my cleavage. I flushed red and leaned back into the seat, trying to put some distance between us. In response, Christian folded his arms upon the table and leaned in closer to me. "Ana?" I crossed my legs and remembered to breathe.

"Um." I tried to think. "Not very long..."

It was clearly not the answer he was looking for. "Define it."

"This morning?" My voice flew up a few octaves and I quickly cleared my throat.

Christian gave me a nod, "Would you like to tell me what's going on between the two of you?"

"No!" I said a little too fast and a little too loud.

That seemed to get Christian even more interested. "I think yes."

I swallowed and shifted my eyes down to his chest, I watched them rise and fall. "Ana?" He called my name once more and our eyes locked. His beautiful lips moved, "What have you been up to with Sawyer?"

My brain must have shut down and logic must have vacated my body, because I blustered a, "WE DIDN'T KISS."

Christian arched an eyebrow, "Oh?" He said sarcastically. "You didn't?"

I nodded furiously, urging him to believe me before this turns into a brutal murder. My murder. My inner goddess put on her gloves in anticipation of a CSI crime scene that had my name all over it. Either that or Sawyer was about to bear the brunt of it.

"So." He tapped his fingers once more, getting increasingly frustrated by the second. "You. Kissed. Sawyer."

"I said we didn't!"

"But you did." Christian stated.

"But I said we didn't!" I was close to exasperation.

Christian folded his arms crossly, eyebrows knitted in anger. "Come. Here. Anastasia." He commanded with much authority that I would never had dared to argue. Obediently, I abandoned my seat and walked over so I was standing barely a few feet from the fire himself. His scorching gaze caught mine and I looked away.

"It was just an accidental brush of the lips." I squeaked.

"Show me." Christian beckoned, his gesture still guarded against me. Clearly, he was not taking this well. How had I let Sawyer and I cross such boundaries? Had I only imagined his lingering touch and caress?

I was flustered. "We were coming down the stairs and I was in his arms, so it was coincidence that as I looked up at him, he looked down at the same moment." I tried to explain myself, "And then our lips brushed."

That only seemed to make Christian angrier. "I said SHOW me, Ana."

At least he was calling me by my first name. I closed the distance between us a little more and pressed my hands into the arm rests of his chair. Christian still had his arms over his chest. Gently, I recreated the accidental kiss and merely scraped Christian's lips. "There." His touch was like a spark, igniting all desires within me, it sent a wave of pleasure through my system.

Suddenly, his lips closed over mine and his arms fastened around me, locking my jaw in place. Christian intruded into my mouth empowered by rage, claiming every inch of me once more. The feeling sang to my inner thighs, calling for it to awaken for its master.

When he finally broke away, we were both panting. His eyes were filled with pride and a sense of fierceness. "Mine." He reminded me as he dropped his hands from my jaw.

"Yours." I repeated after him, my body quaking in desire for his touch.

He nodded at me. "Then there was the part where you called me a dick."

"A...dick?" Hell. When did I say that?"

"Yes, Ana, you did."

"I'm sorry?"

"Don't be." He said, which gave me a spark of hope that he was going to let me off the hook. However, the searing anger on his face put it out immediately. "You'll be sorry for enjoying Ethan's little spanking." There it was, that main thing that was making Christian furious.

The very fact that I had allowed another man to pleasure-hurt me in such a manner, his manner, that really pushed him over the edge. "You run when I hit you," Christian's eyes tightened at the memory, "but you... Giggle when he does?" Jealousy burned bright in his beautiful grey and I knew how precious my laughter was to him.

"Ana, if he hurt you..." His eyes flashed to mine. "Did he hurt you?"

I shook my head, the stinging on my ass had barely been there. Ethan had just been teasing around, smacking me as hard as he would on my arm when he was being funny. Besides, I had Christian's spanking to compare. "Not like you do."

Christian's eyes turned into slits as the words left my mouth thoughtlessly. I had to attempt to do damage control. " Christian, you know I didn't mean it that way."

Once again, his petulant child nature showed itself. "Do I?"

Bravely, I leaned in closer to him to climb onto his lap. Coiling my arms around him, I snuggled into him. "Why did you do it, Ana?" He asked, kissing my forehead lovingly.

"You and Kate were humping..." I whined a little, "I just w-"

"To lash out?" Christian tried to fill in the blanks for me. "Is this what everything is about? You're still making me pay for... THAT?"

I pushed myself off his chest to stop him from talking. "NO!" I insisted, "I was just being a little playful."

"A little?" He was mocking me. I refused to reply, pursing my lips. Christian cracked a tiny yet sincere smile, "Oh Ana, you're the only one I'd ever want to grind."

I flushed at his words and looked away, which he rewarded with one of his specialty chuckles. "I'd say you're the only one I'd allow to spank me, but I don't want to be... Punished."

He sighed, his fingers capturing the tip of my chin as he lured my gaze back to meet his. "I really want to spank you right now Ana, after what nonsense you dared to pull today."

I knitted my fingers together nervously, "I'm sorry, Christian."

"Ana, I love you." My heart stopped. "And the idea of you with anybody else slaughters me."

"Same goes to you." I whispered at him, loving the way his eyes smoldered as I did. "I love you."

He smiled at me and pressed his lips against mine. "Anastasia Steele, because I can't have you running around kissing-"

"Accidentally kissing!"

He corrected with much sarcasm, "Accidentally kissing anybody or getting spanked by random males, I need you to be mine."

I was confused. "I'm already yours."

"Not officially." He said and I cocked my head to one side. "Anastasia Rose Steele, will you marry me?"

My throat constricted and I could not breathe, let alone talk. There he goes again, asking me to marry him.

What are you waiting for? My inner goddess growled at me. He's all you want in life!

"This is my third time asking, Anastasia." Christian tried to conceal his annoyance, then shrugged good-naturedly, "Another first."

"What Christian Grey wants, what Christian Grey gets." Both my inner goddess and I said together.

He chuckled and then nodded. "So, are you going to deny my nature?"

Pulling on my playful nature to get me out of this one, I hit my lip and peeked at him through my lashes. "Can't exactly spoil you, can I?"

He caught on immediately. "I think you most certainly can, Ana."

No way was I going to give in that easily, "But Sawyer and I.."

He silenced me with his death glare.

Not yet. "And Ethan and I..." Christian clenched his jaw and shook his head disapprovingly at me.

"And Jose is still an option th-" Before I could say anymore, Christian brought his lips to mine and swallowed my words. Hard. All of a sudden, he was everywhere all at once. I thought his hands were against my jaw but then he had another pair to clutch me to his chest with. His kisses fluttered off my lips and down my neck, making sure to caress every spot before moving on.

Then, his hand grabbed one of my ankles and threw them to the other side of his body so that my groin was against his. Christian's hold of me slipped lower and unexpectedly, he thrust himself up into me while harshly pushing me downward. The friction was incredible and I let out a groan of pleasure, "I'm jealous." I told him as he did it again.

"Why?" He mumbled against my skin, his fingers slipping under my skirt.

"Kate got to grind you." I whined, recalling the awful memory.

He chuckled and resumed his kissing, blatantly ignoring me. I was then distracted by the movement at my underwear, cool fingers pushing them to the side as they traced my outer lips. "Christian." I panted, pulling my face to his once more.

Christian was not a patient man. He grunted and I heard his zipper go. Before I could protest, he entered me, we both sighed in longing and pleasure. "Kate will never get to do this." With an arrogant grin, his hands found the sides of my waist and he lifted me up slightly before letting gravity slam me down.

I moaned. Christian did it again and again, repeatedly, his member hit my hilt over and over. I was lost in ecstasy as I gave myself over to him, letting him take control of this one. The more Christian bounced, the closer I could feel myself sprinting towards the finish line. My insides began to quiver and Christian's moaning was too erotic for me to bare. With one last thrust, we both came. He emptied himself in me and I let the exhaustion land me against his chest.

He was breathing hard. "I know why you've been acting all flirty and stuff."

What a thing to say at this time. "Why?" As his neck was just a few fingertips away from my lips, I contemplated giving him another love bite with such a tempting opportunity hanging over head.

"By calculating your period," he started, "This week you're supposed to be f***ing horny."

I leaned back to glare at him, to which he smirked at and looked down at where we were still joined. "I have to stop depriving you, Ms Steele, or you'll go after another man."

Blushing, I quickly turned away. "That's not true."

"So you're saying no to sex every few hours?" He taunted, calling my bluff.

"Depends."

Christian raised an eyebrow in question, "Depends on what?"

"On whom with." I stated, trying my best to sound neutral and as convincing as possible.

Christian gritted his teeth and narrowed his eyes. "You're the only woman who would ever talk about having sex with someone else when he's still in you."

The colour rose in my cheeks once again and I stared at him in shock. "Can I come off you now?"

He gave me a secret smile and nodded, his hands finding my waist once more and then lifting me off him. I sighed in relief at the feeling, the ache in my inner thighs evident as I stood on my own two feet. Christian zipped himself up as I repositioned my underwear. Christian was so big and whenever he pulled out of me, there was always that feeling of sudden emptiness.

"What are you thinking of?"

I shook my head then shrugged.

"Good, I want to show you something." He said with a boyish grin, like a magician with a trick up his sleeve.

Treating him suspiciously, I narrowed my eyes and took a step of caution away. "What is it?"

He stood and took my hand in his, leading me out of the office. "If it's your new set of whips or canes or... Floggers, I'm not interested."

Without even answering me, he reached for the office lights and flicked them off. What was he up to? I firmed my grip on his hand and he opened the door. I gasped at the sight before us. The entire apartment was in pitch black, except for the glowing candle lights that littered every inch of the floor. The aroma of rosé petals seduced my senses as they were every where, the most beautiful sight I had ever seen.

"Christian." I smiled, he stepped behind me and put his hands on my hip, his nose breathing me in at the nape of my neck. "When?"

"Gail, Taylor and Sawyer did while I... Distracted you."

Distracting me? I blushed harder at the realization that this was Christian's intention all along, I had just assisted him in distracting me by creating problems that were worth mentioning. "Walk." He whispered, and my eyes caught sight of the path lined out by the candles and petals, that would evidently lead me to our bedroom.

Taking my first few steps, Christian and I moved as one towards our bedroom. The bedroom was equally dressed up and romantic, the bed had the shape of a heart made from rosé petals awaiting our arrival. I observed in awe as I remained rooted in my position.

"Ana," Christian called. I turned to find him down on one knee. I felt my eyes begin to water as I understood why he was doing this. He fished out a delicate red box and held it in his right hand, gingerly, he opened it.

Nestled in the expensive satin material was a simple silver banded, diamond-studded, diamond-brimmed ring. There was barely any silver on it, it was glistening in the candle-light, throwing little sparkles. "Wow." I said, which Christian rewarded with a satisfied grin.

"Ana, you're my more. You're all there is to me and you make me whole. I can see myself spending the rest of my life with you and I cannot see myself living without you. You're my purpose in life, my beginning and my end, you fill me where I am flawed." By then, the tears were streaming down my face. My heart was singing for Christian, trying to sway my brain that this was the man for me. "Anastasia Rose Steele, will you be my wife?"

My inner goddess was silent and my heart would not give up. It pounded actively against my chest, as if throwing a tantrum at my brain's disapproval. Thankfully, my head clicked in acknowledgement of all he's done for me. "Yes, I will." I barely choked out, the tears suffocating me.

Christian heaved a visible sigh of relief and he gave me the sweetest smile I had ever seen. Without wasting anymore time, he picked the ring from it's nest and placed it on my finger. The moment the cool metal touched my skin, my tears heightened and I began heaving, Christian finished the job and leaped to his feet.

"Ana." Christian's voice calmed all storms in me, "I will be faithful to you for the rest of our lives," and he sealed his promise with a kiss.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24: Happily ever after

**Author's Note!**

**Hahaha, well. This shocked me. I managed to get this out before Friday and at close to 5k words! Wow wow. Hope you guys enjoy this one, please remember to leave a review and a favourite! Have a good week, everybody! We shall see if I can update again on Friday. **

Christian's teeth grazed the top of my shoulder blade, the sensitive spot near the nape of my neck and I shuddered in response. His warm breath blew against me as he caressed me. "Christian..." I said with caution, "If we do this, we'll be exceptionally late for your family gathering."

Like the petulant stubborn child he was, Christian groaned. "Just once."

I shook my head and tried to resist his arousing nibble and picking of my skin. "That's what you said the last five times, Christian."

Christian closed his eyes and shook his head against my naked skin, brushing me with his superior lashes. "We're late already anyway, once more won't make a difference."

It was incredibly difficult to stifle the erotic fire that was Christian Grey, who had now moved to stroking my naked stomach in slow circular motions. Swallowing my emotions, I leaped to my feet and out of his reach.

Christian looked lost for a moment, his hands in mid-air having had been worshipping my body. As he turned to me, I winced at the soreness that was now overwhelming. Every inch of me was aching, head to toe, outside and... In. Sympathy crossed Christian's childish face and he shot me an apologetic look. He liked it rough. Very rough.

"You can make it up to me by changing, we've got to go." I scolded him, turning around slowly to prevent my thighs from rubbing against each other. I was convinced that if they did, I would just crumble in pain and agony of the apex of my thighs.

"No bath?" Christian questioned, saddened at the thought.

"We've no time," I reminded him, "and besides, we probably won't make it at all if we take the shower you have in mind, Grey."

I heard the rustle of the blanket and knew we had both made it out of the bed. Christian and I had barely spent any time out of this bedroom the past week. We even had to postpone the family dinner twice to accommodate both our lustful hungers. "Where's my underwear, Grey?"

"I'm not giving it back." He said, matter-of-factly.

Rolling my eyes at him when I knew he was not looking, I strode to our closet and found a new pair of lingerie. There was barely any time to decide what to wear, I reached for the first orange fabric and slipped it on. Surprisingly, I enjoyed the feel of the dress against my skin, the inner silk sliding down my thighs and stopping barely after my butt. The dress was body-hugging and cleavage showing, squeezing my chest from both sides to make the dip deeper. This was a great dress and it looked ridiculously expensive.

"When I come out, you better be changed." I warn Christian from the closet, knowing that he had picked his attire earlier and left it hanging by the door.

"Or what?" He taunted as I glanced through my accessories, picking the butterfly earrings to accompany the diamond butterfly pendant necklace Christian had given to me. I grabbed high strappy black heels that will allow me to rival Christian's height more than usual.

Folding my arms, I stalked out of the closet and into the living room. I was prepared to come face to face with a butt naked Christian. "Hm. Impressive." I remarked, shocked that he had for once obeyed and dressed himself.

"Wow, Ana." Christian's jaw dropped in appreciation as his eyes raked me. "We're staying in after all?"

"What?" I put my hands on my waist, letting him get a better look.

He pursed his lips and shook his head, folding his arms sternly against his chest. "You're not wearing that out."

"Why not?!" I whined, "We're late!" I was exasperated, not bothering to think of what else he was going to say, I stormed out of the bedroom.

Luke was leaning against the kitchen top with Taylor asking him trivia questions to get him going when I stepped out. Both men turned to me as I entered the area, about to greet me when their eyes came into contact with how I was dressed.

Waiting for Taylor to look away, Luke gave me an appreciative nod. "Gorgeous as always, Ana."

"Thanks, Luke." I flushed and cast my eyes in the same angle as Taylor.

"Keep your eyes to yourself, Sawyer." Christian warned, following after me while fixing his wrist cuffs. He glared at Luke.

Christian had somewhat given me the approval to call Sawyer Luke instead as he had already put a ring on my finger. It had given him a greater sense of security and trust in me not to go running off with my bodyguard, permitting him to let me take our professional relationship down to a little more casual one. Besides, Christian found the immense joy in making me comply to "Say my name" every time we had sex after I had called Luke by his first name. It added a Brazilian spice to our sex life, not that we needed it anyway.

"Yes, sir." Luke cast his eyes away, obeying his boss.

"Change." Christian narrowed his eyes at me.

I shook my head at him. "Don't be so territorial, you've already marked me." As if to prove my point, I wiggled the finger that had his ring on it in the air. Yet, he still remained in his firm stance, grey eyes all smoldering and annoyed. "I suppose you won't help me into my shoes." These heels were sexy as hell but the most tedious to put on, I was never able to reach the strap. Again, the statue remained as it was.

"Luke," I called, and his head snapped up from being exiled. "Could you?"

Immediately, Christian moved, stalking towards me and getting onto his knees. Angrily, he grabbed the leather string and tied it once over my ankle and crossed it up my leg then fastened it to its strap. Then, he did the other in the same manner, rising to his feet after he was done. "Let's go, Taylor." He commanded and Taylor disappeared.

Once again, the dog needed to pee on its tree to mark its territory. Christian Grey took my hand in his and lifted it for Luke to examine, then hauled me right into the waiting elevator. The moment the metal doors closed, he was on me, pressing me against the cold metal with my leg hitched up around his waist. Kissing me fiercely, he pressed himself into me and causing me to gasp. The 'ding' of the elevator alerted us to our arrival, breaking the spell Christian had cast.

Taking the hand he was holding, he brought it up to my face so my eyes were leveled with the ring. With exaggerated slowness and intense dramatic skills, Christian growled. "Mine."

My head was dizzy from our little tryst and I nodded at him. Christian led me to the car and helped me into the back seat, refusing to let either Taylor or Luke guide me in like they usually did. Christian and I remained apart from each other, bound by our seat belts and his paranoia of potential accidents.

"Ana," He disrupted my line of thoughts, "Kate's going to be there."

Kate Kavanagh? Sigh. My inner goddess groaned and sat back in her chair, refusing to get involved. Christian had spent the past week explaining to me how my behavior was extreme and not very nice. I knew it was not, but at the heat of the moment, I could not prevent myself from jumping her. She had been such an annoying best friend to the point that I myself had become the annoying best friend.

He reached for my hand, trying to give me support in my decision. "It's been a week, Ana. And I know she's apologetic."

Shooting him a glance, I narrowed my eyes. He had talked to Kate behind my back?

Christian laughed and shook his head in answer to my mental note. "Elliott calls me every few hours to beg me to help him make the two of you up."

Elliott was a really sweet man and the best for Kate, but I was not about to unblock Kate's number from my hand phone just for the love of her life. But then again, I did feel really bad for my sudden outburst and attack on Kate. It was just the need for me to vent and rid of all my frustration and stress that had accumulated. She just happened to be there.

"Do I need to tell Taylor and Sawyer to standby for another cat fight?" Christian raised an eyebrow at me, trying to pick my brain to find out how I was going to react when I came into contact with Kate.

"No."

"Good." He said, stroking the back of my hand with his thumb.

I sighed and leaned against the door, increasing the distance between Christian and I. His mercurial behavior always got the better of me, especially since I had thought it would have made him happy that I attacked Kate. But he did not, he was not. He had scolded me for it.

You're just trying to rationalize your hormonal out lash, my inner goddess rolled her eyes at me.

"Ana?" Christian sounded worried.

But I was not in any mood to answer him, because I had nothing to say. Looking out, I realized that the car had pulled to a halt outside the humongous Grey mansion already. Without wasting any time, I pulled on my handle and swung the door out with gusto before anybody could do it for me. Unfortunately, the metal door came into contact with a hurrying Luke, who was now barreling towards the ground.

"FU**!" I cursed, leaping out of the car to check the damage.

Luke was cradling his right arm to his chest as he sat on the floor in utter pain. Falling to my knees beside him, I repeatedly apologized as I tried to pry his hand away from him to see. "It's fine, Ana." Luke groaned through gritted teeth. Had I swung the door that hard?!

My inner goddess looked like she was just about done with my nonsense. Tapping her foot against the floor in an irritated manner.

"Let me see!" I barked, effectively grabbing it.

Forming rapidly on Luke's mid arm was an angry bruise the length of his arm, it was purple and blue. There were even red streaks of popped blood vessels lining the entire patch. I gasped. "I'm so sorry."

Luke shook his head at me and forced a smile. "Great to know you can take care of yourself."

"Is it broken?" Taylor asked, coming to stand by the both of us.

Luke looked up at Taylor and shrugged his shoulders, "I doubt so though."

Christian's hands came under my arms to pull me up to my feet, "Taylor, take Sawyer to the ER."

Taylor offered his hand to the victim, who carefully took it with his other hand. Ridding myself of Christian's hold, I reached for Luke and wrapped my arms around him tightly. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

I felt him wince but hug me back with his healthy hand. "You'll be alright, Ana." He told me quietly, reassuring me of the many uncertain things I had in my life.

"Alright, now, bye bye." Christian said with pursed lips, taking me back under his arm and guiding me towards his house.

The main door was right open, so we walked right in and stood in the empty living room awaiting our hosts. Christian hugged me closer to himself and planted a kiss at the side my head.

I felt like I was about to cry. "I'm not usually this violent."

"I know, baby." Christian promised, nuzzling the side of my face. "We're back together now, we're going to be alright. You're going to be alright."

A part of me knew he was right. All these mood swings, all this anger and confusion will soon be replaced by the love and security that being with Christian would fill me with. I would take things one by one, even if that meant getting beaten up by Kate.

"ANA!" The familiar bright cheery voice resounded through the entire house as my best friend stole me from Christian and embraced me warmly.

Shocking everyone including myself, I returned the embrace, enveloping Kate into a firm lock as I began to cry. "I'm sorry, Kate." I told her over and over, just as I had done with Luke. "I'm so sorry."

Kate stroked my hair downwards as she cooed into my ear, telling me it was alright and that she knew she was at fault too. Kate confessed that she was trying her best to steer me away from Christian that she had overlooked my well-being entirely, pushing me off the mountain top and into an angry abyss that she had to deal with. That had made me cry harder and soon, I was wailing in my best friend's arms, wondering what I would do without her.

When my sobbing finally died down, Kate gently pushed herself off me to get a better look of my ugly crying face. She swiped away my tears and offered me a sweet smile, " I can't stay mad at you, Ana. Now stop crying, dinner was ready before you even arrived."

Another reminder of Christian and my tardiness. I nodded at her defeatedly and she began to guide me towards the dining room. Christian stepped in, putting a hand on the small of my back but Kate whacked him away. "That's enough of you, Grey. I can handle this." She hissed at him.

Graciously, Christian agreed. "You win this time, Kavanagh."

"Get used to it." She snapped, as we stepped into the grand dining room and into the circle of Greys and to my surprise, Ethan sat in their midst. He watched me with a sad smile, as if in agony that he was now in my presence.

My memories flickered back to the last time I saw him and the last things I had said to him. None of which was very nice. I had to talk to Ethan, I had to apologize and make amends because he was the closest guy friend I had apart from Jose, who had called me everyday for the past week to check in on me. Ethan had not. Maybe it was because he hated me now, hated my guts and found me repulsive.

I thought Grace was about to cry of happiness as she rose from her seat to greet me. "Anastasia, it's been... Too long." Smiling at Kate in request for her permission, Kate took a step back and surrendered me to her. Grace took me into her arms and stroked my back.

"I'm sorry, Grace." I whimpered into her hold.

Christian cleared his throat, "Alright, Ana is here by banned from apologizing to anyone for the rest of the night."

"I'm truly sorry, Grace." I ignored him and she laughed a little, shaking me. "I'm sorry, Carrick."

Grace helped me to the table and sat me down beside her, where my other side was immediately flanked by Kate followed by Elliott. "Sorry bro." Elliott directed at Christian with the most cheeky grin I've ever seen. "You can sit opposite the love of your life."

Christian chuckled back a sardonic laugh. "Oh no, I don't intend to." Taking a few arrogant strides, he came to stand by me as he placed both hands on my shoulders. I tilted my head up to meet his gaze and new immediately what his intention was. "Ana and I have an announcement."

Gracie's eyes filled with wide-eyed shock, as if anticipating what we were about to say. Christian lifted me onto my feet and strung his arm around my waist in a testosterone banter that was unnecessary. Taking my marked hand, he lifted it for everyone in the room to see. There were appreciative 'oohs' from Kate and Mia. My cheeks burned from the attention and I hid myself in Christian's chest. "Mom, dad," Christian started, "everyone. We're getting married."

Grace clasped her hands together in joy and Carrick broke into a soft smile at the news. Ethan looked shock and taken aback, but Mia followed her mother's call, she jumped to her feet and ran to hug me. Elliott stood to hi-five Christian while Kate seemed to be contemplating the news, uncertain on how she should react.

Elliott pulled Christian away the same time Mia pulled me away, effectively creating a divide between us. "You liked it so you put a ring on it." Elliott bellowed out in between his thundering laughter.

Christian punched him in the chest playfully, "At least I had the guts to." He jerked his head towards a now flushing Kate.

"Oh, Ana." Mia was all over me, touching parts of my body that possibly even Christian had not. "We're finally going to be sisters."

Sisters. I liked the sound of that. I had always wanted siblings since I was young, to play with and to receive support from. Marrying Christian would give me that, I would be assimilated into a perfect family with a brother and a sister and a pair of loving husband and wife. It was almost a miracle and a dream come true that this was about to be the life I was going to lead. Especially if my sister was to be Mia, this sweet spontaneous girl would be everything to me. Hugging her close, I squeezed. "Finally."

After a long period of congratulations from everyone, we finally took a seat, this time with Christian situated on my right and the pair across us. This was a much better formation, Christian and I locked hands as the family -our family- began to eat.

My eyes ran over Christian's beautiful face, committing every feature to memory. I would have never thought such a Greek god could belong to me, could be mine. Christian caught me staring at smiled at me in question. "I love you, Christian Grey."

A resounding grin spread across his face and he disregarded his family all together, reaching for me and pressing his lips firmly against mine in reciprocation. And, Christian Grey loves you.

"NOT BY THE FOOD, GREY." Elliott whined from across the table. "And in front of me too!"

Conceding, for once, Christian pulled back and leaned into his own seat. "Alright. But we start again after dinner." He warned Elliott before tucking into his pan fried cod fish. Elliott made a gagging noise, which was silenced by Grace's killer glare.

"Ana!" Mia's voice rang with excitement. "How's the wedding arrangements coming along?"

Wedding arrangements? So quickly? I was caught by surprise and felt myself tangle at such a question. Coming to the rescue, Christian piped up, "We've yet to discuss it."

Mia's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "You struck me more as the propose and married in an hour kind of guy, bro." In an hour?! "Not the two years kind."

Christian forced an awkward yet thoughtful chuckle. "Definitely not two years, Mia."

"Then when!" Mia whined.

"Mia." Carrick cautioned, staring the child down with an authority that could not be questioned.

Mia pouted. "I want to be maid of honor."

"That's my role!" Kate suddenly got involved.

Oh no. This was going to get heated. Kate and Mia started debating on who should be my maid of honor and did their best to rationalize what determined it.

"ALRIGHT!" Ethan shouted, putting down his cutlery. He had been silent all the while but had decided to get involved this time round. All eyes turned to him for a solution. Instead, he gave me a sweet smile. "I'd be honored to be maid of honor."

The table erupted into laughter. As usual, Ethan Kavangh to the rescue. I shot him a grateful look which he caught and returned With a tight nod. Clearly, he was still uncomfortable with me. He had every reason to be but I really needed to talk us out of this mess, we could not succumb to the mistakes I had made. Ethan was such a close friend and my heart constricted at the thought of losing him.

"What kind of wedding, Ana?" Mia continued her interview.

I gave it a thought. "A traditional one," and thought harder. " in a church."

Mia did not look too happy. "Then it must be a HUGE cathedral, with glass murals and pews and everything!"

Kate was in agreement with her this time. "All white! Everyone in white! Flowers every where. " She flung a filthy look at Christian. "We all know how good you are with flowers."

But Mia was too excited to stop. "Puppies and doves. We'll release doves and butterflies when you kiss the bride!"

I laughed at her enthusiasm and nodded but Christian was not into amusement. "Mia," he stopped her in her tracks. "This wedding is about Ana, it only matters what she thinks. Not you."

"That's not very nice, Christian." I hissed at him as Mia looked crushed.

Christian met my gaze with his own. "You know I mean it."

I waved him away with a flick of my wrist. "It's okay, Mia. I say we'll go with what you want to do." I had the joy of watching the spark return to her eyes as she straightened her posture.

"Christian's right though," Elliott pitched in as he finished what was left on his plate. Mia punched him but he cuddled her. "If you give Ana all your wedding ideas, it would be too cliche at yours, baby sis."

"You're right!" Mia came to acknowledge it too and I felt like I had lost Seattle's most eligible and promising wedding planner.

"See what you've done." I tutted at Christian. "Lost our best hope at a perfect wedding."

He was unscathed at my words. "A perfect wedding in my terms would just mean that you'd be at the alter saying I do."

I flushed at the thought and returned to finishing up my meal. Grace gave me a soothing pat on my back and quietly reassured me, "Darling, there's no pressure. We'll take it slow."

Slow sounded good. "Thank you, Grace."

"You're going to have to start calling me mom soon, darling." There was a spring in her words and I knew that she was looking forward to the same moment Christian was.

I knew I would surprise her with this, but I decided that I needed to make up for all my wrong doings that had already begun to pile up. "Yes, mom."

Grace's jaw dropped at the sound of it and she did a little squeal, completely out of her mature motherly stance but adorable anyway. "Thank you, Christian."

"You're welcome, mom." Christian beamed at the both of us, giving me a kiss at the corner of my cheek. Elliott cleared his throat.

"Alright, Elliott." I said. "But when I get back from the bathroom, I expect to be able to make out with Christian on the table."

Elliott chortled loudly in between mock vomit and I rose to my feet, squeezing Christian lightly on the shoulder, I made my way to the toilet down the corridor. It was nice to have some time alone to myself, standing at the mirror, I smiled at my reflection. This was a happy girl, satisfied, living out her fairy tale.

Christian had already called Carla and Ray to ask for permission to marry me even before proposing. He did mention Ray's persistent resistance and Carla's skepticism on his faithfulness, both of which subsided as he called them daily to ask again. Eventually, Christian won my parents' hearts over and sealed the deal of our marriage. For once in my life, I had a complete family along side my mom and Ray. This certainly was a dream come true.

Looking around at the grand bathroom, I soaked in the beautifully marbled floor and the state-of-the-art toilet furniture. Even in here, I could tell I was about to marry rich. It made me think of all the other girls out there who would be envious of me. I had nothing one second, no looks and no cash, but in the next second, I was about to become a princess. Cinderella. I was Cinderella and all that mattered was my Prince, the man that I would dedicate the rest of my life to.

Stepping out of the bathroom, I crashed head first into a padded chest. The entire dinner had gone relatively well, in my definition, it meant that I had not embarrassed myself. Unfortunately, my streak had not lasted and I was now finding myself in a position of attacking someone. Again.

"You alright?" Ethan's smooth voice was concerned, as we took a small step away from each other.

"I'm sorry, Ethan." This was just my luck. I had intended to single Ethan out to apologize to him for the nasty side of me he had to bear the brunt of. Nobody deserved to be treated in such a manner, especially not a close friend of mine.

"You're a klutz, Ana." Ethan laughed softly. "We're all obliged to accept your apologies."

The fact that he was not even realizing that I was apologizing for something graver make me stare at my feet and blush. It meant that he had already forgotten about it, which further emphasized the horrid friend I was. My guilt was manifesting once again and I felt my eyes begin to develop excess moisture. I sniffled.

"What is it, Ana?" Ethan probed gently, his cool fingers lifting my chin in order for him to better examine me.

"I'm sorry, Ethan. For now and for..." The first tear slipped as my inner goddess reprimanded me inwardly for being such a bitch.

There was a voice, probably Carrick's, coming down the corridor from the dining room. Thinking quick, Ethan led me into the bathroom and locked the door behind us. I let myself sit on the bath tub edge and cry a little. Ethan remained sharp until Carrick's voice passed us, he was telling Kate about the architecture of the house. Ethan got down on his knees before me and looked up at me. "What do you want to say, sweetheart?"

Even now, he was being so nice to me. I did not deserve this. "I'm sorry for being so rude." I started, my voice waning at awkward times. He nodded at me to urge me on. "I was just so frustrated at everything and you were going to complicate things more." I told him and I pressed my palms against my head, which he caught and held in his hands. "I got really angry and said many things that I shouldn't have said."

Ethan waited patiently for my words to leave my body, restricted by the heaving of my chest and the uncontrollable sobs that would not leave my vocal cords alone. "Ana, I understand."

Understand what? "No!" I half-yelled. "I don't want you to leave me, Ethan."

"Ana, I know you love Christian. I'm happy for you, sweetheart." He said sincerely, his blue eyes like an ocean filled with compassion. "I'm happy that you're happy."

But yet, it still sounded like he was saying goodbye. "Don't. Leave. Me." I cried harder.

Ethan looked upon me with concern and sympathy, a side of him seemed to want to say something more, but he settled with something simple. "I'll never leave you." His thumb rubbing away the tear that slipped down my cheek." I'll always be your friend, Ana."

"Best friend." I corrected, reassured to a certain extent that he was not going to abandon my bitchy ass.

He chuckled. "Kate's not going to be happy, but yes, best friend."

Throwing my arms around him, I muttered into his skin. "Thank you, Ethan."

His own arms came around my waist, cradling me tightly in return. "What are best friends for?"

There was a knock on the door. "Anastasia?" Came Christian's worried voice.

We both jumped at the sound of his voice and Ethan looked slightly panicked, he rose to his feet, helping me up as he did. "What should we do?" He whispered urgently.

Unfortunately, the door was made of wood. "WHAT'S ETHAN DOING IN THERE, ANASTASIA?"

I bit my bottom lip nervously. Crap. This cannot spiral out of control. "Just... Helping!" I shouted back and went to wash my face at the sink, trying to erase the shade of red and the tear streaks that now two tainted my skin.

"WITH WHAT?!" Christian hollered, the door knob shaking with every attempt at breaking in. "WHY'S THE DOOR LOCKED?!"

"Relax, Grey." Ethan muttered under his breath, handing me the towel.

"Thanks, Ethan." I smiled at him and wiped my face as the pounding ensued.

"ANASTASIA STEELE."

Time to face the monster that was my Christian Grey. Recalling Christian's countless ambush on poor Ethan whenever he was at the front line. Ethan was reaching for the door knob when I caught his hand and shook my head at him. Ethan looked curious, but retrieved his hand and kept it to himself. Placing myself in front of him entirely, I unlocked the door and pulled it open quickly. Just as I had expected, Christian leaped, having expected Ethan. However, he stopped short just before he grabbed me.

Christian's eyes grew wide as he recalculated his moves, wondering what had gone wrong. Before he could succeed, I threw myself at him. My hands wrapped themselves around his neck as my legs hooked around his waist, joining my lips to his before he could protest.


	25. Chapter 25

**Author's Note! **

**Look who's been a good reader/reviewer! Got this out on friday as promised. (: For all those of you who are looking for a little trouble, be careful what you wish for. Pay attention to this chapter. It's a foreshadow for what's to come ;) Enjoy. Please Review!**

Chapter 25: Momentum

Mrs Collins met our request with a bright smile, as young as she was, it was clear that this was her calling. I should have guessed from her title and judging from her tender age, she had gotten married out of love. Not too different from me. "It's a wonderful idea!" She squealed with a sense of excitement to be taking on this new imagination I had concocted in my sleep.

"And it won't be a problem." Christian said firmly, not even a question.

Mrs Collins shook her brunette hair out, "Of course not, Mr and Mrs Grey."

Suddenly, Christian rose from his side of the seat and walked to the panel of windows, pulling out his phone and pressing it against his ear. He dived into a heated conversation, effectively blocking us both out. Again.

I sighed and Mrs Collins gave me a sympathetic smile. "We'll end here for today." She nodded at my words and began to tap away at her MacBook.

Christian and I had been on such good terms for the past month. But even though he had taken the initiative to set up all these meetings with Mrs Collins, it was not worth anything if he constantly excused himself to deal with his business. I did not want to make wedding arrangements for the both of us, I wanted us to create our perfect wedding together.

He still had his back turned to me when Mrs Collins had left the cafe. "Luke." I waved him over from his seat, he had been enjoying a Green Tea Frappacino and the sight of a beautiful brunette like Mrs Collins.

I could not help but wince on his behalf. Luke looked like the typical muscular man, strong in every inch except for his arm that was now slung in a cast. "How's the hairline fracture?"

He shrugged and grinned. "Pretty good I'd say."

Good, that would shut my inner goddess up this time. "When's it coming off?"

Luke did not even have to think. "Next week!" He sang and I could not help but smile along with him.

"Can I come with?"

Luke's smile faded and so did mine. "Um... It depends on whether you'd break it immediately after." Before I could burst into tears, his goofy grin returned and he winked at me. "Of course you can, Ana."

"NO!" Christian yelled into his phone, the customers in the cafe jumping at the sound of his voice. Then he dropped back into a low voice, words coming out of his mouth like a bullet train through Japan.

Luke saw me watching and nudged me a little. "He's been busy, huh."

Sighing, I nodded my head in the positive. "It's almost like he doesn't have time for me anymore."

"Ana, don't think of it that way. He's probably just having some work crisis that he needs to deal with for now."

"But for how long, Luke?" I said with a groan, gesticulating towards a very busy bee at the corner of the room. "It's been a month."

"We'll see, but he'll come through. You're going to be late for work if we don't leave now." Luke decided to direct my frustration onto something else.

Subconsciously, my eyes flicked to the clock above the cashier to double check. I was going to be late. Jack had not been too happy about my prolonged paid leave that had been approved by the higher ups, but had no choice but to accept me back to work. Yet, it did not mean he would do it with open arms. He had piled on the work load the moment I had sat down in my seat, barely even enough time to get settled in and drop back into momentum. It was all ridiculously tiresome to the extent that I had fallen sick, which Jack only agreed to give me a morning off today. He was expecting me in fifteen minutes.

"I'll go say good bye first." I told Luke and Taylor stood from his seat, walking off with the car keys in hand. Quietly, I walked up to Christian. Hovering around his back, I caught the words "I've no time for this" and then decided to tap his shoulder. He spun almost instantly, his face crinkled with frustration and annoyance. At the sight of me, his expression softened a little but remained fixed. He was still listening to the person on the line.

"I have to go to work." I told him.

He nodded at me and leaned in to plant a kiss on my forehead. "I'll see you after work, baby." Then, he turned back into his world of communication.

Sighing to myself, I allowed Luke to walk a defeated girl out the cafe and into the waiting car. Because I had felt so immensely guilty for breaking Luke's arm, I had offered to drive us to and fro my destinations. This way, there would be no need for another bodyguard.

"What are you thinking about, Ana?" Luke asked as he got into the car.

Turning the wheel and pressing down the paddle I sighed a little more. "About how busy Christian is."

"It's not like he ignores you sexually." My eyes bulge and I stared at Luke in utmost horror as the words left his mouth but yet, he remained calm as if he had not said anything wrong.

After a long while, I settled for a soft "True." Christian was always busy in the days but whenever we had the time, we would seize the moment to get it on with each other. It meant every where and anywhere. In elevators, in the car, in offices, every where was good enough for the beast that was Christian Grey when he craved my body. But yet, it pained me that most of our moments would be interrupted or ended with a phone call from a business associate.

"So what's the problem?" Luke probed.

"I just feel like when he's with me, he's not really there." I started to explain myself. "I know he loves me but he's so caught up with work that he's barely taking the time to just be with me."

Luke put a hand on my shoulder in comfort, "I'll talk to Taylor about it, but I'm pretty sure it's just the hormones talking."

I tilted my head towards him so he could see me roll my eyes. "You're always so straight forward."

"The truth will set you free, Ana." And then I made it into a parking lot and let myself out of the car.

When I came into the office, Jack was just returning from lunch. He raised an eyebrow at me but I pointed at the clock, evidence that I was two minutes early. "Ms Steele, I've got a couple of manuscripts already waiting for you on your desk."

A couple. I wonder how many that meant. Jack Hyde was a sneaky fella and my hunch was right. Waiting patiently on my desk was a tower of hard copy manuscripts, barely even a few. Reaching for my phone in frustration, I dropped Christian a BBM.

"Hyde gone nuts." I punched in and then counted the scripts manually. "15 manuscripts to be done by today."

When I was physically with Christian, it was harder to talk to him because he always had his phone in the way. But I did realize that talking to him through his phone always produced instant results. My blackberry jumped like a fish out of water.

"Hyde's a bastard. I'll deal with him. Pick you up at 6.30?"

I laughed a little at this response and smiled at the thought of having him with me once more. "Thank you, I'll see you then." I pressed send and placed my phone under my desk before Jack could catch me using it.

By the time I was half done through the thick stack of manuscripts, Jack emerged from his office looking extremely peeved. He made a bee like for my table and I thought he was about to fire me. Jack grunted, "How many have you done?"

I stared up at him. "Six and a half?"

I watched Jack get overwhelmed with shock at my speed and he nodded at me, "Thats impressive, Steele."

"Thank you." I had no idea if what kind of manners this sort of situation called for. Curiosity got the better of me. "What's wrong?"

Jack looked up tentatively at the huge blue globe that was watching the office. "It may seem that the higher up was monitoring our office today and found it displeasing that I gave you such an offensive amount of work."

Christian Grey. My inner goddess leaned back in her leather chair and cackled like a witch.

"Oh." I pretended to be shocked and follow his gaze to the globe like I had not known it had been there. "That's creepy."

Jack nodded as he lifted the remaining manuscripts off my desk. "Well, Steele, you're free to decide if you'd like to finish reading that seventh one because I'm only allowed to give you six a day."

Then a thought came to my mind. It was time to get back into the good books of my boss. "Jack, it's fine. I'll read as many manuscripts as you want me to."

Jack paused at my words, amusement and confusion playing out across his face. I cheered on myself inwardly, knowing that Jack would now begin to reexamine my diligence in the work place after my little offer. Besides, this batch of manuscripts were surprisingly of quality and my taste in books.

"That won't be necessary." Jack decided to say, then peeked at my manuscript. "Anything good?"

SCORE! Jack was in a lighter mood now. "Yes, actually. I think you'd find these two," I singled them out from my 'finish' pile," good relaxation material. Feel good sort."

Jack listened and I continued. "These three have excellent story lines. Adventure, mystery, sci-fi. Shocked me that I liked it."

He seemed to be increasingly interested. I picked off the grey manuscript from the corner of the table and lifted it in the air, "This one, however, is pure crap."

Jack's face lightened at my presentation and he laughed. "Glad to see you're doing your job." His hands grabbed hold of the manuscript in the air and tossed it into the nearby trash. "It's almost 6.30, why don't you take off for the day?"

Wow. I felt myself gaping at his suggestion. Had Jack Hyde just willingly let me leave work early? What on earth was going on? "Thank you, Jack. See you tomorrow."

He gave me a curt jerk of the head and then swiveled on his heels, directing himself towards his main office. My entire desk shook with the familiar vibration and I pulled it out as I begun to pack my bag.

It was from Christian. "Sorry for taking so long before acting on your jerk boss, I was otherwise preoccupied. Hope he took it harshly. I'm on my way. Laters, baby."

I pursed my lips as I read the text. Clearly he had not even found time out of the five hours to help me out of my little case of office abuse. I sighed, this reflected how unimportant I was in his life now. I recalled the times when I always came first and wondered if this was going to be a permanent change. It know I was acting selfish, but then again, I just wanted Christian all to myself.

Waving at Jack through his clear glass window, he reciprocated my goodbye as I went on my way. Luke was busy with trying to scratch the skin barricaded by his cast. He was getting increasingly annoyed when he was unable to.

"Luke!" I sang and watched him jump in surprise as I lowered myself down beside him.

"Sneaked out?" He asked.

"Jack let me out early, actually." I said with the sweetest smile possible.

Luke was in disbelief. "As if." I raised an eyebrow and remained firm. His disbelief overcame the skepticism that had tainted his face. "Seriously?"

I nodded. "Good behavior early release."

"That's unlike him." We both watched as Taylor's van pulled up at the front.

"Um. My car is parked here." I came to realize.

Luke's lips twisted up at a corner and he folded his arms. "You're actually deciding between driving yourself home and spending some quality time with the love of your life?"

He was right. There should never be a competition between the both. "Let's go, Luke."

Luke opened the passenger door for me to climb in. Christian was seated there, his fingers dancing across the keypad in a tango. "Hey, Ana." He greeted without even looking up at me. My heart sank.

"What's up with business?" I decided to try and enter his world.

Christian sighed a little. "There's multiple cough ups in Asia, the shipments seem to be in direct violation of certain agreements."

Oh. I had not known it was this bad. "Sounds bad." I felt sorry for him, he appeared to be more haggard than usual, exhaustion staining his beautiful face.

"It'll be okay." His lips lifted up into a smile of reassurance and I drew my legs up onto the chair as I cuddled into his side. Christian's arm encircled me and brought me in tighter, relishing in the comfort he often said I brought him. "I may have to fly down to Asia for a week though."

A week?! This would be his third overseas trip within the month. It saddened me to be away from him. "When?"

"If things don't settle themselves by Wednesday, I'll be flying in on Thursday." Picking up on my unhappiness, Christian nuzzled his nose into my jaw. "I always ask you to come along."

"But I always have work." I replied, knowing our usual arguments.

"Technically, you don't have to work anymore." Christian said arrogantly, "You can consider yourself in the top ten richest women of the world."

I stuck out my tongue at him. "That's your money."

"It's yours as well, and it will be legally, when you say 'I do'." Christian pressed his lips into my skin, making my eyes roll back into my head a little.

"But until then, I'll have to keep working, just in case you decide that I'm not good enough for you and leave me for a brunette." I spouted. The many possibilities that my insecurities loved to show me before I slept.

He pulled away to stare at me, incredulous. "Where's this coming from?" I shrugged. "You know I'll never let you go, Ana."

I hoped so. Just as expected, vibration interrupted our sweet moment. However, this time, the blackberry in his right hand remained dormant. I felt around for my own and fished it out of my pocket, the caller ID read 'Ethan Kavanagh' and Christian grunted in response. Dragging myself away from Christian to the other side of the car, I pressed answer.

"Hey Ethan!" I cheered, loving our new and improved friendship.

Ethan and I had completely disregarded the awkward situations that had befallen us. It was not worth losing our friendship over and I could use all the friends I could get. Christian was still not completely confident that he had no romantic patterns on me, but I was pretty sure Ethan valued our friendship above all.

"Ana." Came his nervous and shaky voice.

The light mood that had filled me was now replaced by a dark cloud. "What's wrong?"

"Um..." Ethan dragged the syllable. "Do you think you could meet me now?"

This was serious. Ethan never asked me out on short notice, he was always the gentleman by giving me a few dates he was available and would allow me to choose and rearrange my schedule to accommodate him. Taking my silence for something else, Ethan cleared his throat. "If you're busy, it's okay." At the sound of his voice, I knew it would not be.

From the corner of my eye, I observed as Christian folded his arms in an irritated question, clearly demanding to know what was going on. I shook my head at him, which only seemed to agitate him a little more. "Of course not, where would you prefer?"

"Where would you prefer, Ana? You're such a sweetheart." To which Christian, who was listening in, only managed to catch the last word. He tensed to reach for the phone but I smacked it away.

"I'm on my way back to Escala." I began to calculate to places that were convenient for Ethan and then decided. "How about the bar across my apartment?"

Ethan and Kate were now sharing the apartment. It was not that the memories still haunted me, but a large part of me just desired to begin co-living with the love of my life. It only made sense. Besides, with how busy Christian was becoming, I was beginning to treasure the little things. For example, having him to cuddle up to in the middle of the night.

"Set. I'll walk over now." Ethan was more than willing.

"I'll see you in a bit, Ethan." I sang a little, trying to brighten up the atmosphere. We both hung up.

Leaning forward, I pressed into the back of Luke's seat. "Taylor, could you take me to my apartment please?"

"Yes, Ms Steele." Came his response and he turned the car around.

Christian pulled me into him, drawing me into his arms. "What's going on, Ana? What does Kavanagh want?"

"Just a friend in need, Mr Grey." I told him firmly. "Nothing to be worried about."

"I'll worry when it comes to Ethan. He's the only other man who has shared your lips with me." Christian's jealousy gave his tone an edge.

My fifty. Always underestimating me. "He's not." I said bluntly.

"Of course he did. You told me yourself." Christian did not like to be wrong.

But I liked to be right. "He's not the only other man who has shared my lips, Grey." I thought I was about to set off the time bomb once more.

He was furious. "WHAT?!"

"I had two boyfriends in high school." I told him, unashamed. Yes, I could have boyfriends too.

Christian seemed confused for a moment, then turned angry. "Who are they?!"

A little smug, I gave him a grin. "No one of consequence."

"ANA..." His voice was rough, his hands rigid around my waist.

"Christian..." I copied the furrow of his eyebrows. Then threw my arms around him, embracing him tightly. "I was in my early teens, I don't even know where they are anymore."

Christian's body remained rigid as he thought my words through. Then his arms came around me to reciprocate the hug. "Anastasia, you are mine."

"Of course."

We remained there for a while before he had to break the peace. "What was that about?"

I sighed. "I honestly don't know. But he doesn't sound to good."

Christian scoffed as the car pulled up at the bar. "A man can play all kind of tricks to get the girl. Look at how Barney Stinson gets his booty call."

Of course. A How I Met Your Mother reference. I had forced Christian to watch his first episode ever. After which, he had finished the other seasons at his own will. He shared my taste in Barney Stinson, but yet, he disagreed with the Salvatore brothers. He had labelled the series 'a foolish love story' , to which I told him that Klaus was hot.

"I'll meet you back at home." I told Christian as I patiently waited for Luke to open my door.

"No way." Christian blanched. "I can do my work from the car."

"I know." I muttered under my breath as I swung my feet out of the car.

"What was that?" Christian questioned.

Turning around, I blasted him with an angelic smile and shook my head. "Nothing, sir." And proceeded to slam the door in his face.

Luke let out a low whistle at my bravery and I smiled at him. Ethan was leaning against the entrance of the bar, he smiled as wide as Christian upon my approach. The last time I had been at this bar... I pushed the thought out of my mind.

"Mr Kavanagh." I greeted him, preparing myself on my tiptoes to receive his embrace.

"Ana, thank you so much for coming." Ethan's warm chest pressed up against mine and we held each other for a bit.

I decided it was time to return the phrase we had constantly been throwing back and forth since we knew each other. "What are friends for?"

The SUV's horn blared loudly and we jumped apart. Ethan turned to stare at the car. "Didn't know you were bringing Christian." He waved to the black tinted windows out of hospitality, but I knew Christian would have a different set of fingers up and down.

"Let's go in. Didn't you have something important to share?" I urged him in and Luke opened the door for the both of us.

The bar was empty as usual and Luke made his way to the barstool. Oddly enough, Ethan and I took the same seats we had taken on the night we had been here. "Would you like anything to drink?"

I thought for a while. "Some milk will do, actually."

Ethan chuckled and shook his head at me in disbelief. "We come to a bar and you order milk." Then he strolled towards the bartender with my order.

My blackberry buzzed and I rolled my eyes. Christian's text read : "I. Am. Watching. You. Five minutes and we're out."

Before Ethan could return, I typed back a reply. "Stalker tendencies acting up again? Maybe you should double your appointments with Flynn. No, five minutes and YOU'RE out. I have a friend in need. "

My blackberry buzzed once more as Ethan placed the drink on the small table. "Flynn actually thinks my stalking of you is doing me good. That better not be Bacardi that you just ordered. Friends. Right."

Ignoring the annoying man, I slipped the phone under my thigh and beamed at Ethan. "So. What's the problem?"

Ethan stuck out his tongue at me. "You sound like a shrink."

I had spent so much time with Flynn working through my issues with Christian that indeed, I would not be surprised if he was rubbing off on me. "Answer the question, Kavanagh." I pointed an accusatory finger at him then proceeded to drinking my milk.

Ethan sighed and put both his hands up in surrender. "I'm going to ask Mia to be my girlfriend."

I gaped for a brief moment. Ethan remained still, letting me soak up the news. Suddenly, I pounced on him, squealing in excitement and shaking him. "IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!"

Ethan and Mia had started hanging out with each other ever since the dinner at the Grey's house. I should have guessed Mia was interested in Ethan when she invited him to join us. Ethan always had a little crush on the cute and bouncy Grey girl and I secretly knew they would be so happy together. Ethan laughed and helped me back down to my seat. The sound of the door opening distracted us and we watched as Christian and Taylor entered the premises.

I grimaced. "No, Christian. Ethan has yet to ask me to marry him." Christian's eyes narrowed as Ethan waved. "Show yourself to the bar."

Taylor was the mediator today, assuring Christian that I was just being overly friendly towards Ethan and led him over to Luke. He set his eyes on me from the distance, but I tried to block him out. Ethan still had on a mask of confusion and worry. "So what's the problem?"

"She's a Grey, Ana." He blustered, frustrated from the thought alone. I knew exactly what he meant. "It's fine for you to marry up, but for Mia to date down?" He shook his head at his own social status and financial status, knowing full well he would never be able to compete.

That was sadly how I felt all the time. "I get what you mean. It's like you're not even good enough." He nodded sadly. "Well, Mia's not like that, Ethan. I think she'll love you for who you are."

"You think so?" Ethan cracked a grin. "We'd end up like you and Grey?"

"Probably." I said with ease. "If you play your cards right. You have to locate your strengths and let her see them, let her fall for who you are."

"Thanks, Ana."

Talking this all out with Ethan, I felt a sense of joy and satisfaction. It had not been too long ago when I was in his situation, happy and overwhelmed by the idea of love and he who came with it. Those were the happier days when Christian was so dedicated and devoted to me, now it was as if I was about to marry Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.

"Hey, what's up on your side?" Ethan asked gently, picking up on the negative vibe I had radiated.

I shook my head and sighed. I didn't even want to talk about it. I did not want anybody to know that my fiancé was putting work before me and that I was finding it increasingly difficult to have a good conversation with him.

"You can tell me anything, sweetheart." Ethan's blue eyes sprung with encouragement as he beckoned me on.

I judged the distance between us and Christian and decided he would never be able to eavesdrop. "It's just been so long since I've had a quality conversation like this."

Ethan seemed shocked. "What? How about Grey?"

Pursing my lips, I resisted blabbering out everything. "He's been so busy lately, it's like I'm talking to a robot. He talks to me but some times it's like he's never there."

Ethan hesitated replying. Then as if to prove me wrong, he twisted in his seat to catch sight of Christian on his phone, just that his glowering grey eyes never left Ethan. "Okay. I see what you mean."

"Yes. I could most probably make out with you now and he'd just beat you up with that phone to his ear." I groaned.

Ethan winced. "Can't decide if that's meant to be insulting."

I giggled. "It's not, it's use of hyperbole."

Ethan cherubic smile returned, he reached forward to clasp my hands into his. "Your laugh is the rainbow after the storm, Ana. No matter where you find yourself, hold on to the memories that make that sound and fight on."

A surge of warmth spread through my system; reassurance, happiness, security, love, filled me to the brim. Ethan was right. This was something that would pass, it was just a little hitch in our beautiful road to happily ever after. Soon, Christian would be entirely mine once more.

"Ana," Ethan waited for me to refocus on him. "If the bastard ever lets you slip through his fingers, he'd be dead sorry."

I squeezed my eyes shut in embarrassment as the blood gushed to my cheeks. A hand came onto my shoulder and tugged the bond between and I apart. Of course, Christian Grey had his limits on touching. Closing shut his phone, he slipped it into his back pocket and thundered down on Ethan. "Good. Bye. Kavanagh." He emphasized greatly as I got to my feet.

"See you soon, Ethan." Then I winked at him. "Good luck."

Ethan turned bashful for a moment then nodded at me with the flutter of his fingers. He was going to make a girl really happy today. Ushering me out of the bar and into the car, Christian raised his eyebrows. "So what was that about, Steele?"

"You'll find out very soon." I teased, deciding that I would fold my thighs over his.

"Anastasia..." His voice was a grumble.

Waiting for Luke and Taylor to get into the car, I tapped them both on their blades. "Everyone. Ethan is going to ask Mia to be his girlfriend."

Everyone except for Christian was surprised.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26: No Promises

**Author's note!**

**Didn't check this one through, so please pardon any mistakes. Just a heads up, my exams are coming up and them teachers be crazy. Anyone studying Mansfield Park, Othello, Streetcar Named Desire, Duchess Of Malfi or Woman Warrior? My lit is sinking faster than the Titanic. Enjoy this one (:**

**Please leave a review, thank you. If not I'd be lost. **

The sweat trickled down my forehead as I pounded it in, my wrapped fist making contact with the material over and over. It was beginning to ache and I was starting to get tired. Dropping my right hand, I kept my steady stance and lifted my left hand to get at it.

"Come on, Ana." He crossed his muscular arms, watching me with a very unsatisfied glare. "You're not even trying."

But I was! Leaning back deeper into my squat, I slammed my fist into the fabric and took it up a notch once more. The sweat was starting to get in my eyes and I just wanted to quit. Standing up, I turned to face Claude. The man's biceps were rolling as fast as his eyes, his abs on display as he waited for an excuse he knew I would give. "I'm trying!"

"This is your tenth training, Ana. I'm not seeing any progression." Claude took great pride in training his students, a record which I must have dampened if he was taking this so personally. "Why can't you give me a good punch?!" With that, he brought his fist to the punching bag and we both watched as it flew quite a distance before swinging back.

Working out always made me feel slightly woozy. "I'm trying."

"You know what, I think you lack motivation." Claude straightened up and strode over to his humongous gym bag. You could find close to everything in there. "Now, are you sure Christian won't be home?"

I sighed. As if I needed to be reminded. "He's off for a week in Japan."

A sneaky smile spread across Claude's face the same size Gollem's was when he found the ring. "Brilliant." He whipped out a piece of paper and some tape. "This might just work." He mumbled to himself as he flipped over the paper to reveal a close-up of Christian's serious face.

"What's that?" I was curious, stumbling over to watch him fasten his face to the punching bag.

Claude took a step back and grinned at me. "Motivation." He explained. "I know he gets on your nerves, so why not rage at him?"

I was not too sure this was a good idea. "Is that even right?"

Claude nodded at me. "It's all in the mind. Now," he positioned the bag. "Get. Angry!"

Dropping down into my core-clenching position, I clenched my fists against my chest. Thoughts of Christian ran through my mind. The asshole had constantly neglected me for his business, had acted so violently possessive and jealous all the time, had distracted me with extravagant gifts, had left me once more to handle work! My blood boiled instantly and I felt my cheeks heat along with it.

"PUNCH HIM!" Claude shouted.

The bag was suddenly Christian and I hated the look on his face. "AHHHHH!" I shouted loudly and lashed out at the bag, throwing my clenched fists, alternating between left and right.

"HARDER ANA! THINK OF ALL THE SHIT HE'S DONE."

Slept with Leila. Slept with Leila. Slept with Leila. Mustering all the strength I had, I drew the energy from within my abs and delivered a hard one to the bag. Claude and I both watched in awe as the bag swung up into the air. "GOOD J-" Claude was beginning to cheer when suddenly, Christian took revenge on me. The huge boxing bag dropped, whacking me face first onto the floor.

The pain stung my face and my butt was traumatized at what had just happened, my abdominal area singing with the workout I had just underwent. Claude fell to his knees beside me, "Oh f***!"

"What is it?" I probed, the numbness spreading to my nose.

Claude's eyes grew wide as his fingers hovered over my face. "I'm fu**ed." His head whipped back to search the room. "LUKE! GET IN HERE!"

Immediately, Luke entered the gym. "Need me to throw you around again, Claude?" Came his arrogant banter. But once his eyes locked onto my face he pointed at Claude. "You're f***ed."

"What is going on?!" I demanded, folding my arms.

Claude lifted me to my feet and walked me over to Luke. "I know," he said worriedly. "Can we just get her nose checked first?"

Luke pursed his lips and took custody of me. "But this is your fault, understand?" He narrowed his eyes at Claude, who was beginning to pack his stuff.

"Of course it is!" Claude was exasperated. "I'll make the call to Christian myself. Just get her out of here!"

"What's happened, Luke?" I whimpered. "I can't feel my face."

Luke had an arm wrapped around my waist in support as he led me out of the room and into the kitchen. Gail was busy cooking lunch, "Hello A-" She halted mid-greeting as she saw me. "Who did that?!"

"Claude." Luke shook his head, helping me up onto the stool.

"I'll call the doctor." Gail told Luke and scurried off.

It was only then that the warm liquid met my lips and the metallic taste of my blood became apparent. "Ana, you might have broken your nose."

"BROKEN MY NOSE?!" I shouted, my hands flying up to check but yet I could not feel anything. Luke caught my hands and pinned them to my sides.

"Keep still, would you?" He opened the fridge and hunted for a while before pulling up a handful of ice. Wrapping it in a kitchen towel, he handed it to me. "Against your nose."

Taking the chilly cloth from him, I did as I was told and winced as feeling returned to me. The pain was beginning to be nauseating. I groaned.

"Now now, sweetie. Doctor's ten minutes away." Gail soothed as she continued fixing up my lunch. "Let's get some food into your system first."

"I'M SORRY, MR GREY." Claude was losing it as he clambered noisily out into the living room. "IT WAS BAD JUDGMENT ON MY PART." He had pulled on a grey tank top to cover his beautifully sculpted abs. "It was an accident!"

It was rather ironic that the one person who had trained Christian to become so fit and strong was now frightened by him. Thankfully, the rage Claude had helped me stir up was still fresh in my veins. Leaping off the stool and out of a worried Luke's clasp, I went on my tiptoes to grab the phone out of Claude's hand.

Christian was in the middle of scolding Claude and telling him that getting me injured was widely unprofessional. Well. "F*** YOU CHRISTIAN GREY." I blared into the receiver. Everyone in the room froze, including the man on the line. "SINCE WHEN DID YOU GIVE A F*** ABOUT ME YOU BUSY BASTARD. I'LL TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. AGAIN. HAVE A NICE DAY."

With that, I ended the call and handed it back to Claude, who was gaping at me. "Thank you." I said sweetly, walking back to Luke for him to tend to my nose.

"Feisty one, ain't she?" Luke raised an eyebrow at Claude, lifting me onto the chair again so he could dab at the blood.

"If only she could bring that to the gym all the time." Claude shot back. "Ana, do you want me to stay with you?"

I was beginning to feel the exhaustion creep into my system. Getting angry was the remedy I had needed to soothe the frustration within me. "It's okay, Claude. Thank you."

"No, Ana." Claude smiled. "Thank you."

Gail graciously showed him out of the apartment and on the way back in, brought a young-looking blonde lady to us. "Ms Steele, I presume." She said brightly, reaching out to clasp my free hand with hers.

How did she? "The broken nose." She explained. "I'm Dr Wesley, just sit back and let me give it a check."

Unwillingly, Luke made way for the lady doctor. She planted a white box on the top of the counter beside my food and opened it to reveal layers of medications and equipment.

"Ana," Luke drew my attention to him, he was holding up his phone in his right hand. Of course, the iPhone was flashing with Christian's face. "I'll have to pick this up. "

I rolled my eyes at the thought. "Go ahead." I knew I was going to have to deal with my little crazy moment eventually.

Luke nodded at me and sucked in a deep breath to steady himself, then pressed the machine to his ear. "Sir." He paused to listen then scanned me quickly."Her phone's not on her."

Christian must have called Luke as a last resort having been unable to reach me. I had left my blackberry by my bed side, I was late for my session with Claude and had to rush. "Where's she?" Luke said it aloud for my benefit, as if asking me to come up with an appropriate response.

"I died and went to heaven." I said with the straightest face I could.

Without thinking it through, Luke repeated my words before stopping abruptly."She died and-"

I giggled at his folly and winced at the agony beginning from my nose. Dr Wesley gave me a stern look before proceeding with dabbling cool alcohol all over the area. "No sir, she's very alive. She's having lunch."

That was not what I had asked him to say. I pursed my lips at him which Luke shook his head at. "Of course." He offered the phone to me and I waved it away. "No, she refuses to speak to you." He flinched at the shouting Christian had begun to do.

"I'll try again, but the chances are slim." Luke knew me better than to try again, instead, for Christian's benefit, he remained silent for a brief moment before continuing. "I told you, sir."

"Tell him I say he's an asshole." I piped up from around the good doctor as she began putting in place a brace.

"No, I'll not." Luke was addressing me without realizing that Christian was on the phone again. Clearly, Christian was not one to be patient. He sighed. "Sir, Ms Steele just wanted you to know that you're an asshole." I beamed at him.

"Ms Steele, your nose is not broken, the mid portion is just bruised and a little shaky. I've put in place a brace to support it, please avoid strenuous activity." The doctor pulled out a bag of medicine and lay them on the table, beginning to clear up all the bloody wads of gauze and tissue. "Ms Steele, this is the pain killers. Thrice a day or when necessary, I'll arrange our next date."

"Thank you for coming." I tell her the same time Gail does. She had came so promptly to attend to me, unlike a certain someone else.

"My pleasure, Ms Steele." The attractive blonde flashed her white teeth at me.

"I'll see you out." Gail put her hand out and guided the kind lady towards the door.

Luke grunted. "It's not a broke nose, sir. Just a little bruising." His eyes crossed my posture quickly, leaning against the marble table top. "She's still in initial shock, so the full pain won't kick in until much later."

That was news to me. As if the torment I was currently experiencing was not bad enough, the numbness my body had developed to protect me was going to slip away and leave me to God knows how much pain.

"Christian says he loves you." Luke conveyed the message.

"Ana says he has to prove it with quality time." I howled loud enough for Christian to catch it on his own.

Luke smiled at me, indicating that he did get the message. "Yes sir, I'll see you then." Keeping his phone, I was curious.

"When did he say he was coming back?"

Luke beamed at me, a full-blown one. "Tonight, Anastasia."

My heart pumped at the thought. He had been gone for three days already and it was enough to make me angry and craving his love. If he really had gone through with the week he had planned, I doubt I could stand living in this quiet apartment alone.

"You're a naughty one, throwing a tantrum to lure him home." Luke shook his finger at me with a teasing look on his face.

I shrugged and gave him the most angelic look I could offer. "A girlfriend can only hope she would never resort to such low measures."

Luke folded his arms and laughed, "You're going to have to deal with his anger though. Because he did sound angry."

I lost my smile at the thought of it. Coming home tonight would mean doom for me. Christian Grey was an in-the-moment kind of a guy. "How angry?"

"Fu-ri-ous." Luke was enjoying himself.

I stuck my tongue out at him. "I'll tell Christian you've been sharing my bed."

His mouth dropped and he narrowed his eyes. "That's not true."

"But the green-eyed monster in Christian won't rationalize it like that." I said with a smirk, knowing that I had won this battle.

"Your loneliness is getting the better of you, Ana. Go out and do something with your life. Anything." Luke poked me in the arm.

"I have work." I pointed out.

"Yes, but the rest of the time you just sulk around waiting for your prince to come home." Luke rolled his eyes at me and I was once again reminded why this thoroughly annoyed Christian.

But then again, there was some truth in Luke's words. Maybe if I spent more time doing more things, I would barely notice when Christian was busy. Alright. That was the plan. However, there would no longer be strenuous activities for about a week until my follow-up, so that drew Claude out of the picture.

"Ana," A familiar voice echoed through the apartment and I raised my head to find Elliott sauntering in with a huge beam smacked across his face. "How are you."

"Elliott?" Was I even expecting him?

As he drew closer he pursed his lips. "Yikes. You don't look too good."

I rolled my eyes. "No shit, Sherlock."

He threw both his hands up in the air in mock surrender. "We've got a bad ass here!" Then he laughed, hi-fiving Luke. "Why the bad mood, sugar?"

Resting my head against my palm, I sighed loudly for dramatic effect. "What are you doing here, Elliott?"

"As if you don't already know." He narrowed his eyes at me, as if waiting for me to get it.

"Christian sent you." I should have known earlier.

"Of course he did." Elliott chuckled, stealing a fry from my untouched plate of food. "When you get punched in the nose, refuse to pick up his calls and pretty much tell him to f*** off, I'd say it's Christian-like to send forth his most trusted partner." Elliott gestured to himself and then sneaked a few more fries. "After all, Ana. You're his most valuable asset."

That seemed to arouse the anger within me once more. "IM NOT HIS FU**ING ASSET." I hollered through gritted teeth, close to howling like a wolf to prove my point. I was driven crazy with all this talk about mergers and acquisitions, stocks and assets, inflation and general price levels. I just wanted Christian back.

"Woh-woh." Elliott chanted, as if trying to calm a crazed horse down. He turned to Luke, "It's about his business isn't it." Luke did not even have to answer.

Spinning to me once more, Elliott placed a palm against my right arm. "There, there, sweetheart." It seemed to soothe me a little, anything would with Christian gone so long. "I'll tell him he needs to spend more time with you."

I nodded my head at him sadly. "Please do." I mumbled. "It's like he's put me on display," I raised my engagement ring, "He won't use me for the rest of his life."

Elliott wrapped his palm around my raised hand and brought it back down to my thighs. "Cheer up, Ana. Christian will be home soon." The thought of it did indeed cheer me up. "How about you, Kate and I go out for some shopping?"

My head snapped up at the word. That sounded time-consuming with Kate's name thrown into it. Elliott knew he was halfway in. Squeezing my hand he hitched his voice a little higher to mimicking a girl's, "Lets go... Shopping!" And as if he had not made my day already, he went on to say, "My treat, beautiful."

By the time I was on the way up to Escala, it was closing in on midnight. With no doubt, Christian would have been trying to reach me already. However, I had accidentally left my phone back in my room and he did not try Elliott or Kate anyway. My heart pounded in anticipation of being with Christian once more, to feel him against me. I knew that I would have to answer for my outburst, but after that, it would all be worth while.

Elliott and Kate had honestly helped time to pass quickly, with Elliott picking out every sexy outfit he could lay eyes on for me and Kate shoving me into changing rooms to try them on. Once they proved to fit, by the time I had finished changing back, they would already have been bought by Elliott and in Luke's strong arms.

The elevator 'pinged' as it came to a halt at the penthouse. I took in a deep breath as the doors rolled open, expecting to see Taylor step out into the foyer. But he did not. Alone, I climbed out of the elevator and into the empty foyer.

Alone.

Even Gail had gone to sleep. "I'm sorry, Ana." Luke said, dropping my hauls on the floor as he came towards me.

"Where is he?" I whispered, lost in more ways than one.

Apologetic, Luke's voice was guarded. "I got the call on the way up, I think you should listen to your voice mail." He reached for it, it had been sitting on the coffee table. "Christian got Gail to put it here for you."

As if that was going to sweeten me up after my fall. I gave him a sour look and snatched the phone. Dialing my voice mail, I pressed play for the waiting message.

"Anastasia, I know things aren't going great between us now. I'm sorry, baby. I honestly tried to leave tonight to return to you, but things turned critical. I would be there if I had a choice, Ana. But I don't. I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry I let you down. Please, trust me. We'll make it out of it. Out of this. I love you, Ana. Never forget it."

The beep sounded and I slowly put the phone down. "Ana..." Luke reached for me, his arms coming around me in comfort.

"NO!" I yelled at him, violently shoving his arms away from me. He jumped in shock and I ran. I ran towards the kitchen, where I knew Christian kept all his best hard liquor.

Luke sprinted after me, worried that I would kill myself. "Ana?"

This upset me so much because Christian had filled me with the hope of his return only to snatch it away. He was filthy rich already, so why couldn't he let this one go? I was in pain, under strong meds and highly insecure at the moment. I needed him. I needed him. But he was not here. I felt the tears brim over my lids and roll down my cheeks as I grabbed the darkest liquor I could find.

"I don't think you should do that." Luke advised, trying to take the bottle from me.

I turned my back against him and popped the top, chugging it down. The alcohol taste was pungent, but this was the fastest way to drown our sorrows known to mankind. It tasted foul, but it was going to do the trick.

"That's enough!" Luke shouted, his hands strangling mine around the bottle.

Yet, the liquid kept pouring down my throat and I lifted it further, forcing it down at an increased rate. It burned my throat as it did and I could feel it slosh in my empty stomach. "ANASTASIA." Luke jerked the bottle from my hands so quickly that it slipped, crashing to the flour and exploding into a million pieces with what was left of it.

Through my tears and my now foggy thought process, I knew I had just drunk more than seventy five percent of the liquor. "I want to leave him, Luke." I cried, rushing to his side and wrapping my arms around him.

Luke's hand pressed against the back of my head as he soothed me. "No you don't, Ana."

I shook my head into his side," I don't." And knew it was the truth. I just wanted him here, I wanted him to be by my side and not attached to his work all the time. "But he doesn't love me."

Luke laughed. "We've been here before, he loves you, sweetheart."

I clutched onto Luke a little tighter and heaved. "What's happening?" Gail appeared in her silk nightgown, having been awoken by the entire racket. "Oh dear, what's wrong with Ana?"

Luke shook his head at her, drawing me closer into his side. "She's taking the boys' absence a little harder than you are."

"I'll clean this up, poor dear." Gail pulled up her sleeves and got to it.

"I'm sorry, Gail." I whispered and wiped my tears against his shirt.

Luke patted my back, "Thanks Gail, I'll put her to bed." He began to lead me to my bedroom when Gail shrieked.

"No no! There's broken glass everywhere." Gail barricaded us from the scene. "Mr Grey has to come home to her nose in this state already!"

Without any warning, I felt Luke's arm slip down lower as he lifted me wedding-style. "I've gotcha." He reassured me as I squealed in surprise, barely enough energy to make more than a peep.

"Watch it, Luke." Gail warned, brushing the broken pieces to make a path for him to take.

"Night Gail." We both said in unplanned unison.

Luke turned me just in time to catch her sweet smile as she waved at me, "Have a good rest, Ana."

Gingerly, Luke carried me to the bedroom that I shared with Christian. Regardless, my head was spinning and I felt like throwing up. Maybe I could have downed a couple of beers instead. The hard liquor seemed to jump about in my stomach, sending uncomfortable shivers up my spine. Gently, he placed me upon my bed sheet and helped me to let go of him.

"Ana, will you be throwing up tonight?" He questioned softly against my ear, aware of my heightened senses that could tip me over the edge at any moment. I gave him a curt nod. "Alright, I'll set up a pail on your side."

As my eyes began to close, I felt him lift the comforter from below me and placed it over me. It was warm and soft, soothing in more ways than one. But before I could give myself away to utter exhaustion, I had one more thing to do. Forcing my eyes open, I found Luke by the bed, watching me. "Thank you, Luke."

His smile was still visible in the dim light as he tucked me in further. "Good night, Ana." As his hands began to fall, I instinctively reached for a hand and clasped onto it for security. The warmth in his palm radiated to mine, a feeling I missed. "What is it, sweetheart?"

Drifting off once more, I managed the last few words. "Don't leave me."

As I sank into the darkness, I was confronted with the fact that I was very alone. Everywhere I turned, everywhere I looked, I was alone. There was nobody here and it was very cold. The darkness echoed through my dreams and rebounded into my heart. My world then began to quake and my body shifted, I knew this was the end.

Suddenly, arms came around my waist and I was shaken from my sleep. Groggily, I forced my eyes open to the mild early morning light. "Luke?" Holding my hand through the night must have became tiring and he eventually brought himself onto the comfort of the mattress.

The home around me made me stiffen. "You have no idea how that makes me feel."

My sense became alarmed and I jumped, turning around. "Christian?"

There he was, lying on his side with his head propped up by his palm. Even in the darkness, I could make out his eye bags. He was dressed in a wrinkled office shirt with the collar undone and his boxers. The movement made my head whirl a little. "What time is it?"

I was probably still dreaming.

Christian yawned. "Six forty five in the morning." Observing my distant response, he sighed and began to sit up. He looked crinkled in every aspect, lacking sleep entirely. "Look, Ana, I'm sorry."

But none of it mattered to me. Not now. All I wanted was for him to return to me and he did. So I was satisfied for now. Not giving him a chance to elaborate or further apologize, I pounced on him and we both fell back on the bed together.

He was shocked but I held my ground, slinging my arms around him tightly. "Hold me."

And thankfully, for now, I was sufficient for him as well. Christian embraced me, clasping me tighter to his chest so that the only thing separating us was the fabric of our clothes. Gently, his hand cradled the back of my head as he tucked me into the nape of his neck and we both drifted off to sleep.

**LEAVE A REVIEW PLEASEEEEEE.**

_No Promises ; Shayne Ward_

_The Moment I Knew ; Taylor Swift_


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27: Dark soul of the world

When I woke up, my heart was jumping about in anticipation as to what I would see when I open my eyes. Last night, Christian had come home. But it did not make any sense. He had said that he was not returning, that he was unable to. I was only sure of one thing; That Luke had stayed and held my hand until I had fallen asleep. For all I knew, the alcohol had rewired my brain and made me think that Luke was Christian.

That was possible and there was only one way to find out.

With the flutter of my eyelids, I sighed in relief as Christian's still body lay by my side. He was in deep sleep, his face relaxed and his chest dropping and rising in sync to his breathing. I could have stayed there watching him all day. In the sunlight, I could see his exhaustion clearly and my heart pained for him. It was evident that he had been working late and long to clear the issue before him.

At that moment, I felt guilty for drawing him home. Even though I had really desired him to, it was selfish on my part too. It was not as if he did not want to be with me, he would always want to be by my side. But it was just too difficult to convince myself of this fact with his absence, it gave my brain a huge leeway to spin me about and shake my security. I was tempted to touch him, to reach out and cradle his face in my palms. But I resisted, Christian needed his rest.

Sliding out of bed, I was careful not to move the bed too much in order not to wake my sleeping prince. Quietly, I pulled the covers over him and leaned in to plant a kiss against his forehead. He stirred but did not wake, so I let myself out of the room.

Luke, Gail and Taylor were seated around the kitchen area, having breakfast together. "Anything for me?" I teased, announcing my arrival.

The spotlight fell upon me and the three of them looked up and smiled at me. Luke waved his sausage in the air, "We're having pancakes and bratwurst."

I licked my lips the same time my stomach growled at the idea. I have deprived my food body for far too long. "Could I have some?"

Gail rose, "Of course, dear. Right away."

"Oh no, I was thinking maybe I should cook." My idea was silenced by Gail's shake of her head as she took out freshly cooked pancakes and bratwurst sausages. Laughing, Luke pulled out a chair for me an beckoned me to sit down.

"Thanks, Gail." I said with a smile and then dug into my scrumptious breakfast. There was a moment of knives against plates and the sound of chewing as we all savored Gail's cooking. "So Taylor, how was the trip?"

He peeked up at me and increased his chewing speed then swallowed loudly. "Oh, it was busy. Frantic." He sighed as he recalled it for me. "Christian was up almost every night and into the morning, so I couldn't exactly turn in without him."

Gail cooed at him and stroked his back, as if soothing him and encouraging him at the same time. That made me smile. I realized that this was who Christian needed me to be to him at this point of time. "Thank you for taking care of him."

Taylor beamed at me as he held onto Gail's hand. "It's my pleasure. I'm just glad to be home with Gail."

"Awwww, quit it the two of you." Luke teased, angling his fork at Taylor.

Taylor scoffed, "You're just jealous." Luke shrugged, not disagreeing. "Why aren't you seeing anyone anyway?"

Luke's lips pulled up at the right corner. "I'm so busy keeping Anastasia here out of trouble."

The sausages were good, but not good enough for me to ignore that. "I'm not that much of a nuisance!" Immediately, my claim was Met with questioning gazes around the table. I conceded.

"I was suggesting yesterday that she gets a hobby." Luke finished up his food as he filled Taylor in. "Something to distract her mind and subdue her."

I rolled my eyes at him. "I cannot be subdued!"

"Good point though." Taylor was in agreement. "Ana, maybe you should try..." He thought long and hard, as if matching my personality to the list of activities he had in mind.

"Cooking? Knitting? Sewing?" Luke tried to help.

Gail almost choked. She reached over and smacked him across his head. "What horrible stereotype."

"I already have work and boxing." I pointed out, folding my arms across my chest.

Taylor smiled meekly at me, "I highly doubt Christian would let you pursue your boxing dreams after what happened with that nose of yours."

"It was an accident." I defended myself, blatantly sticking my injury in the air.

"That's the thing, Ana." Luke waved his hands in the air frantically. "You're accident prone!" Taylor affirmed it with a grunt.

"Maybe I'll just fly about with Christian, since he's going to be away more often." I suggested to myself, not meant for them to hear. But they did.

"He'd hardly get any work done with you around." Taylor disagreed, shaking his head at me in disapproval.

Luke chuckled sarcastically. "As if he could get any work done with her not around." Both men shared a common look and sighed in unison.

"Speaking of which," my drowsiness was clearing up and I recalled a missing piece to my puzzle. "I thought you couldn't make it home last night."

Taylor smirked. "We didn't. We made it home this early morning."

Luke jabbed Taylor in the bicep, "Since Christian's knocked out, you should get some rest too."

Taylor yawned in affirmation then glanced at me with a judgmental gaze. "He scrambled the last few hours and pushed through, made a deal with those Japanese and came home." Taylor pursed his lips. "He was running on three hours of sleep over two and a half days, Ana."

My cheeks heated at his partial accusation. I had no idea that things had gotten that bad and my childish behavior was starting to manifest into guilt. I dropped my eyes to the floor to avoid his glare. "The thought of you leaving him is daunting, Ana. I don't think it's nice of you to threaten him with it." There was a low growl in his voice. There was no doubt that Taylor was faithful to Christian.

"She was having a hard time too, sweetheart." Gail interceded on my behalf and I observed as she placed her palms on his biceps to calm him down. Before Taylor could protest, she added, "Just as I was when you were gone."

A look of defeat crossed his face. "It's just that you boys have left us too long and too frequently, we begin to wonder if you'd ever get back to us."

Taylor contemplated her words and then took both her hands in his, rubbing the back of her palms with his thumbs. Gazing deeply into her eyes, he was apologetic. "It's not like either of us Wants to leave you girls. We love you." At a much softer tone, he whispered. "I love you."

My heart melted at his words. Both Luke and I shuddered from the romanticism unfolding before us. Taylor finally broke the intense interaction to arrow a question at me, "So are you an alcoholic now?"

Oh hell. Did Christian know about it too?

Taylor smirked. "Christian's in the dark about this until he's awake."

"No wonder he was so peaceful when he came in to sleep!" I piped up and that warranted a table of laughter. I turned serious. "I don't think so... It's just that alcohol is promoted to be some magic drink that will solve your problems, but I don't enjoy anything about it."

"It won't solve your problems." Luke stated.

"No shit, Sherlock." I silenced him with a glare. "It's just hard to think clearly when Christian's not around." Taylor nodded at me supportively, encouraging me to go on. "It's as if I can't be truly sure that he loves me. Even with this." I lifted my banded finger in the air.

Taylor pursed his lips. "It's pretty much the same way he feels about you, Ana."

I had not expected that. "What?"

Taylor shot me a sympathetic smile. "Even with that ring, when he's away from you, he's not entirely sure that you love him either. There's always a chance that you'd leave him."

"It's not like I would."

"There's nothing stopping you, Anastasia." Which was true to a large extent.

Except for one small part. "But he's Christian, my Christian."

Gail gave me a weak smile, as if moved by my words. "He doesn't know that."

It was hard to think of Christian as insecure. He was always so sure about himself, so certain of his place and so confident in everything he did. I supposed part of the reason I never knew the seriousness of the situation was because he never showed that he needed any help. He always appeared so strong.

"Thanks for the breakfast, Gail." I flashed her a toothy one as I rose from my seat. "I think I'll go check on Christian."

"No problem, dear." She said sweetly and Taylor began helping her keep the dishes. It gave me such joy to watch the both of them interact together, I had envisioned my marriage life to be like them.

Smiling to myself, I walked towards our bedroom. Part of me was still angsty, but the larger part of me was thankful that Christian had dropped his work to come back to me. Silently, I vowed that this would be my final time luring him back home with such uncouth measures.

As I neared the bedroom, I could hear his muffled cries from behind the mahogany door. My heart jumped as I rushed in to find him trashing against the mattress, he was sweating and tears were rolling down his face. "Why!" He flipped over and howled.

"Christian!" I leaped onto the bed and tried to hold him, but his struggling got increasingly violent.

"Ana, don't leave me." He gushed, tears spilling harder and flowing faster as his fists balled the material tightly.

My heart cracked and shattered into a million pieces, I reached for his head and rested it against the soft sport of my chest. "I'm not leaving you, baby."

That seemed to soothe him a little. I wrapped my hands around his clenched fists and pried them from the fabric. This was Christian, my Christian, when he was truly vulnerable. He would let his guard down only when he was sleeping, where he had been alone for the majority of his life.

It was comforting to know that I was the only person who knew this side of Christian, to see this side of Christian and be able to do something. He was broken and dark, hurt and tortured in places unimaginable to others. By some sort of miracle, he had shared that wrangled side of him with me.

"Christian, I love you." I chanted into his ear, watching his body relax and coil closer into mine.

I was aware that his mother and the pimp had been in his dreams, had played the lead characters in his nightmares. Christian had needed me there in his bed to chase them away. But it hurt to know that I was starting to manifest in his nightmares too, that the prospect of me leaving him would be equivalent to the pain he had experienced from the other two.

My own tears began to slip from my face as I kissed the back of Christian's head. "I'm never leaving you, Christian Grey." I kissed him again, pressing a little harder. "Never."

Gingerly, my thumbs dashed away the streaks of tears that had danced themselves down his high cheekbones. Just as much as I needed him to stay by my side, he needed me by his too. I stayed there rocking my broken little boy back to sleep, stroking him into a good dream and away from a bad one.

As the sun's power began to wane, I felt him stir in my arms. A smile played across my face as I watched his lusciously long and thick lashes flutter and open. Christian breathed in a huge breath, as if to displace the exhaustion within his system. It was almost the late afternoon and he had been sleeping for more than half a day already.

I waited patiently for him to accustom himself to the surroundings and remind himself of where he was. Then, he was aware of my arms around him and his position against my chest. "Anastasia?"

"Hey there, stranger." I said quietly.

Christian slowly rolled himself out of my reach and sat up, his grey eyes holding mine in his. My heart softened as he broke into a cherubic, longing, smile. "Hey baby." Christian's arms reached for me and we exchanged positions, this time, I was against the pad of his chest. "I missed you, Ana." And then, he chuckled privately. "I know how much you missed me."

"I truly did." I pouted, nuzzling my nose into his chest and relishing at the fact that he did not flinch.

Instead, coaxed my chin up so I could meet his gaze. "I love you, Anastasia Steele." Wasting no time, he crushed his lips to mine in a passionate thirst, which I returned.

He raided me. His hands skimmed my body hungrily, down my sides and up again. His lips were urgent and they cracked mine open, wide enough for his tongue to slip into my mouth. I felt him shiver in delight at the sensation and his hands caressed my breasts. Christian began to shift me and soon, I was directly under him.

He broke our connection to let me catch a glimpse of the storm within his eyes. "You called me Luke, Ana."

I gulped. So he remembered. "Accident."

Christian threw his head back in a coyote laughter, "Accident." He mimicked sarcastically as his hand flew to my underwear. "Accident." He repeated to himself and shook his head. His fingers lingered at the wetness in my underwear, stroking me seductively and sending shivers through my libido.

I tried to focus. "I was having a rough night." I tried to explain.

"Accident." Christian's fingers slipped themselves into me and I let out a gasp, they were slightly cold and very long.

"He was helping me get to bed." I clarified, Christian free hand jerked my right thigh away from my left, exposing me as he invaded me deeper.

"Oh no, Ana, it was an accident." He said sourly as his thumb made contact with my clitoris. I jolted and squeezed my eyes shut.

"He never came onto the bed, Christian." I was panting. "He sat on the floor."

His fingers moved faster and faster, rapidly gliding in and out of me. I groaned as three members made their home within me and called his name over and over. "Accident." He told me in an angry tone and increased the speed. The train of thought I was holding onto disappeared and my mouth dropped open as I let the pleasure take over me. My head was a complete blank, lost to ecstasy.

He took me over the edge.

I lay there panting, recovering from the intense cardio he had just put my body through. I observed as Christian pulled out his fingers and put them into his mouth. With a cheeky smile, he winked at me. "Accident."

My naughty boy.

As my heart began to climb back down, I noticed a tent in his boxer shorts. "Mr Grey." I bit my lips and he let out a quiet moan. Christian began to shift himself over me again. Then, I had an idea.

As violently as I could, I pushed him on his back and seized him. I watched in satisfaction as a look of surprise painted his face. "You've been exhausted lately, let me." I bit down on my lip harder to torture him.

My fingers were fast as I began to unbutton him. Ripping his shirt apart, I ran my fingers down and through his chest hair. Christian's eyes rolled back into his head at the feeling and I dropped my head to kiss his sensitive spots. It had taken us such a long time to get to this, but I was triumphant that I now had the access to do this.

Slowly, I kissed him downward. When I reached his happy trail, I let my tongue slide out and over it to tease him. In response, his member jerked up and pressed against my throat. I heard him moan my name and I released the beast. Smiling to myself, I took him in my mouth. Whole. He groaned and I shielded my teeth with my lips and then increased pace, taking him in and out.

"AN-A" Christian was losing control. Exactly how I wanted him. My right hand came around the bottom and my left hand clasped his balls firmly. Twisting my right hand and sucking his tip, I made sure that my left hand teased him as well. I felt him tense under me as his member became rock hard. "I'm going to cum, baby."

Then, I stopped. Standing up on the bed, I dropped my knickers for him to watch and threw them to the chairs. A spark of hunger filled his eyes and he put his hands behind his head, knowing exactly what I was about to do. Just as he expected, I slammed down on him.

Christian gasped. I rose up once more and positioned him at my entrance. "I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused." I told him and let him fill me once more.

"I-it's ok-ay." He breathed heavily, clearing close to his climax.

"I love you, Christian." I said as I increased the speed, pressing my hands against his chest to stabilize me. Christian's hands came around my waist.

"I love you, Ana." His voice was so tender and that was why I had not expected what was to come next.

Christian's hands gripped my waist tightly and lifted me off him and then dropped me back down upon him. He did this repeatedly and increased the pace, my insides began to quiver and I dropped my head back to relish in the feeling. "Faster." I panted and he conceded.

Suddenly, he exploded within me and I let go. The moment it was over, Christian reached for me and pulled me into a tight embrace. He showered me with a feather of kisses. "I love you." He said. "I love you."

In moments like this, the probability of him not loving me was slimmer than the chances of a meteorite blowing up the world.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28: Beloved

**Author's note!**

**Okay. As I've said before, I don't have the books, so I'm not sure who Ana's colleagues are. So I'm just going to trust meggansa and name them Hannah and Elizabeth :) Here's a quick update since I'm sick and banned from school. **

"I'll pick you up as usual, love of my life." Christian pressed his lips to mine as his hands scaled up and down my lower back. It was enough to make me desire him in this car. Taking notice, he pulled away with a knowing chuckle. "Off you go, don't be late."

I narrowed my eyes at him. Luke held the door open, his gaze at everywhere but at the both of us. Christian thought he had the upper hand now, but I was about to turn the tables. Making a show of biting my bottom lip, I moaned a little. "Alright, Mr Grey, leaving a woman so wet and horny for you out in the streets."

The look on his face was epic, I could tell I had stunned him well. Taylor's eyes bulged in their sockets and he dropped his head in response. Biting my lip a little harder, I batted my eye lips and added a soft and taunting "Ouchh."

Just as Christian lunged for me with both hands like claws about to grab hold of me, I jumped out of the car with an excited squeal and shut the door in his face. "Quick, Luke!" I blustered, grabbing the disillusioned man and steering him towards the cover of my office.

The moment the glass doors closed behind us, I hi-fived him with my fit of giggles. "Morning, Ana!" Came Hannah's warm greeting then paired with her concern. "What happened to your nose?!"

"Hey," I waved my fingers at her, not fully recovered from the stunt I had successfully pulled on Christian. "Boxing accident. How was your weekend?"

"I see that Christian's back so your weekend must have been fantastic and I don't even have to worry about your speedy recovery." She winked at me as the car drove away, he was probably growling at me behind those tinted windows. "Mine was great, I took my mom out to the beach."

"I love the beach!" I gushed.

"That is good to know, Steele." Came a low russet voice from behind me. Before I could turn, Jack Hyde held the lift open for me.

Luke stiffened at gave me a should-I-come-with look. I shook my head at him and stepped in after Jack. The metal doors closed, separating me from any hope of witnesses. Jack and I had been having such a great friendship lately, but most recently, he has been acting a little off.

"Ana," Jack started. "What happened to your nose?"

I tried to keep it casual. "Boxing accident."

He raised an eyebrow in question, as if uncertain if I wanted him to read deeper into my reply or not. What was that about? As if I had anything to hide from him. Why was Jack acting all weird?! "Who hit you?"

I swear he seemed to be offering me a way out of this. I was confused. "My trainer?"

"Are you sure?" He seemed worried, as if I might be in denial. Who was he expecting?!

Thankfully, the life 'dinged' at our level. As expected, Jack's gentlemanly ways got the better of him and he let me pass, lingering to hold the button for me. Letting my manners shine, I flashed him a grateful smile and walked away. Quickly.

As I approached my work area, his hand landed itself on the side of my waist. It sent shivers through my body. "Ana, you can always come to me for help."

Not so discreetly, I jumped away from him and made up for it with an apologetic smile. "Uhh... Thanks."

Pressing his lips together in a semi-smile, he nodded at me encouragingly and headed for his office.

_We-irdo, my inner goddess sang. _

Despite Jack's queer behavior, I soon found myself nestled into my seat with a BBM from Mr Grey.

"Anastasia Steele, what was that?!"

I laughed softly to myself as I replied him. "A taste of your own medicine, Grey."

Immediate response. "Your smart mouth needs some purifying. I might have to ask Taylor and Sawyer to leave us the car."

That hit me hard on my libido. But I wish not to provide him with the upperhand that I had barely managed to win already. So, I silenced my phone and kept it away and started on the reports that Jack wanted on his table by noon.

There was not much to do and a mere two hours later, I was done. This was why I had managed to excel in my academics for the past twenty one years, I had no men in my life to distract me. Before I could check my phone once more, I decided to please Jack by dropping off the documents personally.

With a bright grin that reflected my pride, I grabbed the freshly printed stack and filed them in their respective folders. I noticed Jack was busy on the phone, his eyebrows furrowed angrily as his mouth spun out of control. By the time I was about to knock on his door, he put his phone away.

What was Jack up to? Was whoever he was yelling over the phone at the reason for his sudden shift in behavior? I observed as he sighed and pursed his lips in deliberation.

I cleared my throat and he leaped up in surprise before regaining his composure. His face softened as he watched me. "Yes, Ana?"

I was then reminded by my pride and joy. Beaming at him, I strode over to his desk and planted my colourful files down in the center. "I am finished."

Jack chuckled heartily. "Not surprising." He reached for them and gave them a quick flip through and grunted appreciatively. "A job well done, Steele."

The colour rose in my cheeks and I looked away bashfully. Hiding my hands behind my back, my gaze swept his office clean. "Thank you."

"No, I think you deserve an early lunch." Jack cheered, clasping his hands together as he sat down on his leather chair.

My head snapped up at his suggestion and I grinned. "Really?" I felt like a golden retriever getting treats for executing tricks.

"Just be back one, Steele." Jack knew he was being generous too.

I stood rooted in my place, as if waiting for him to tell me he was kidding. Instead, he shook his head at me. "You can leave now."

I hesitated. "No strings attached?"

Jack let out a low throaty chortle. "Just leave already, Ana."

And so I did. I thanked the man graciously and headed over to my work area to gather my belongings. Would this be considered as another queer behavior of Jack Hyde's? I doubt so, he's been consistently nice to me with random spurts of overly concern behavior such as this morning.

I checked my blackberry on the way down. Christian had sent slightly more than a few text messages.

"I take your silence as consent. Can't wait to have you in the car later. To take you in it." Was his first text message, a little too visual and a little too arousing for a late morning.

Very shortly after came another one. "Ms Steeleeeeeee? It's deathly hard to silence you so I must presume Hyde's got you under the water with work. Laters, baby."

Even though he had seemingly vowed to talk to me later, half an hour later, he had sent another one. "I don't think I'll call you Ms Steele anymore, I just got a call from Mrs Collins and she refers to you as Mrs Grey. I love the ring to that, I love the ring I put on your finger. I love you. Thinking about you right now."

Just as I read the text, I subconsciously felt my engagement ring in its place. Christian had made the promise of commitment and faithfulness within this expensive piece of jewelry. I was never going to take it off. This was my reassurance, it was going to be for the rest of my life.

And another. "Mrs Grey, thinking of you in my office manifests really quite literally. Would you be interested in lying across my desk stark naked?"

That sent a shudder of arousal through me. The doors opened to a surprised Luke. He had been chatting with Hannah. "Ana, I know Hyde's been releasing you early, but this early?"

"Unbelievable right? But I've to be back after lunch break."

"Looks like Jack's cultivated quite a soft spot for you, huh." Hannah chimed a little sourly. "I doubt Christian will be happy about that."

I shrugged my shoulders. Luke stood, "So, where would you like to go?"

I read Christian's final text. "Hey baby, it sucks that I just got home from Japan and yet, I can't spend more time with you. Hate how work keeps driving us apart, if there was anyway I could be with you right now, I would. I love you." And, my mind was made up.

This was all part of my decision to become a loving and supportive wife, just like Gail was a girlfriend to Taylor. Even though Taylor had not even put a seal upon her, she was still so devoted to him in every aspect. It was heartening to watch and motivating for me.

I drove Luke to the sushi bar, where we picked up an assortment of sushi. I knew by heart, which were the favorites of my beloved fiancé. I was going to surprise him in his office with lunch and we would then work on the image he had planted in my mind.

Christian was right. I hated being apart from him when we were in the same continent. I was going to seize every moment with him before work called him out of state again. Everyone knew how crazy it drives me to be separated from him.

"Luke, why don't you come up too?" I told the man as I climbed out of the car and left it to the valet.

"And risk hearing something explicit?" His face twisted into a disgusted frame and I giggled.

"But you could have lunch with Taylor, we bought his share too." I said, pointing to the extra white bag in his hands.

Luke nodded, "I'll buzz him down, it's safer that way."

I shook my head at him in disbelief, "I'll tell your boss about your sentiments."

Luke had begun to text Taylor by the time I had gotten into the lift, watching him sink back into the lounge chair to wait for him to come down. When I got to Christian's floor, I noticed that Andrea was absent from her desk. In addition, there was barely any life in the office. Clearly, it was lunch break for Christian's staff.

I sighed and looked down at the food I had bought for him. Maybe he had gone out for lunch already.

_Maybe you should have texted first, my inner goddess rolled her eyes at me._

Since I had come all the way here already, I decided to try my luck. With my head hung low, I walked towards Christian's office door. To my surprise, there were sounds coming from behind it. Christian must be on the phone! My body jerked up in excitement and delight, truly we were meant to be.

I contemplated knocking on the door, but decided that I was going to give him a full-blown surprise. Stifling a giggle, I removed the plastic bag from the food and placed it by the door. Then, I positioned the sushi platter in my arms and with a force, I flung open the door.

What I saw took my heart around its neck and strangled it. Mangling the core of my body, I was panting for air and found it hard to focus on my balance. In my daze, my fingers had slipped and the sushi slammed against the ground, spilling rice and ingredients all over the expensive carpet of Christian's office.

**For all those of you who wished for drama, your wish has been granted. Be careful for what you wish for though (; Please leave a review. I'd LOVE to hear what you think Ana saw, though I doubt any of you would hit it spot on. Heehee(: **


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29: Big Pictures

**Author's note!**

**I was initially going to take my time with this because I've got heaps of homework to do… But since you all asked so nicely… Anyway, read this one carefully please. Please restrain yourselves from sending me death threats, thank you. Just know that we've got a lil way to go from here (: Enjoy. **

_You are fu**ing kidding me, my inner goddess was the first to react. _

My heart clenched tightly, barely breathing from its current mauled state. Hands clammy, I took an involuntary step back. Deja vu. I had retreated in the exact same manner on that very night. Right on cue, that shiver scratched its way up my spine. I shuddered.

Christian had been behind his luxurious desk, leaning back in his leather chair with his hands tucked behind his head, gripping his hair tightly. I could not help to compare him with most recently. Just like the position he was in when I had treated him to a blow job when he got back.

His eyes were squeezed shut in what... Frustration? Pleasure? I shuddered once more. He had not been facing me head on, but rather, had his side to me. But the very thing that had taken my breath away was the tiniest of details. I could have missed it, but my cursed sharp eyes just had to point it out. A set of gorgeous and endlessly long legs peeking out from the side of his desk. Joined to them were strappy heels.

Thankfully, the wood of the desk was too high for me to even see what was happening. I was not that dumb, I knew exactly what they were doing. Christian was angled towards her, goddammit. The moment the food had crashed against the floor, Christian had whipped his head towards me the same time his eyes flew open.

"Ana?" Came his shocked response, clearly not expecting me.

_Who is that?! My inner goddess put on her highest of heels and tried to peer over the desk. Andrea? Elena? Someone new?_

The betrayal stung hard within me. Again. Fu**. I could hear my heartbeat in my ears, the pounding so strong that I could have lurched forward to vomit but resisted because I had to see. I had to know who I had lost to this time, how my inadequacy had faired. Her luscious brunette hair popped up first and as she turned, I gaped.

"Anastasia." Christian's growl was loud and clear, reprimanding in a way. He seemed to be trying to distract me from the idea forming in my head.

No. No. No. I shook my head inwardly because my entire body was not responding right. Not again. My heart was now in my mouth and I could taste the blood. I felt myself break out into cold sweat. Timidly, I braved the tears, "Sorry about the mess."

_My inner goddess did not approve. _

"Anastasia..." Christian cautioned. What? He was not possibly thinking about explaining himself this time was he? What could be possibly say?! Nothing would change this.

I did not want to hear it. Any of it. My world was crumbling apart by the second. I was not going to give him a chance, not another. The fuc*tard did not deserve it. Before he could stand, something that would take him some time to do, I gathered all the energy within me and sprinted out of his office and towards the lifts.

"ANASTASIA!" I heard him holler, growing distant as I put more distance between us.

As if I was being chased by a serial killer, I kept on running, my head turning back a few times to calculate the remaining time I had left before getting caught. Unfortunately, my distraction slammed me face first into the steel doors. I had no time to lick my wounds and my fingers pressed the button violently to call the lift.

I could hear him coming. He was closing in and I was not armed for another confrontation. Or worse, another confession. The 'ding' of the lift saved me once more and I hurried in, fingers raiding the lobby button quickly and alternating to harass the close door button.

Just as the doors were about to shut, a flustered and red Christian Grey came into view. "WAIT ANA!" He begged, rushing to the door but not in time to stop me. I fell back into the handles and pushed myself up against the mirrors. Panting, I reassessed the situation.

Who was I fuc*ing kidding? I had nothing to reassess. The bastard was having a jolly good time with her. He said she was out of state, he promised. But here he was, sitting in his office chair getting pleasured by her. The bloody idiot has been lying!

I caught the tear before it could hit my cheekbones. No more tears. Gritting my teeth, I faced the mirror to pep talk myself. "No. More. Bloody. Tears." My weakness had given Christian the opportunity to walk all over me the first time. There was no way in heaven or hell that I was going to give him a fast pass this time round. It was his roadblock. This was the end.

The quiet pain in my system was replaced by a bloodthirsty anger, searing through out my body that I could spit. The violence brimming my system fueled the fire within me. I was going to be a strong, independent and brave woman. With or without Christian.

_Without, My inner goddess corrected, putting on her army paint to enter battle. _

I began to wonder. How long? Was she the reason behind all his 'overseas' trips? Maybe he had been in Seattle all that time, right under my nose, just finding an excuse to have some time to cheat on me. It made sense. Why on earth had I been so trusting?

I should have agreed to go along for one of his 'business trips'. He must have known that I would put my job before anything else, that was why he had so confidently invited me to join him. It must have all been just an act. A stupid act.

The bastard. I was going to fight him all the way. The lift doors opened and I stomped out angrily, thunder striking every thing in the lobby. The people entering the lift knew better than to get in my way. My eyes glanced towards the remaining lifts and I noticed that one of them had just reached Christian's level. It would not be long now.

"Ana?" Luke's concerned voice interrupted my thoughts and I glanced towards it. He was sitting with Taylor enjoying the sushi. At least someone was grateful for my sushi.

Right on cue, Taylor raised his chopsticks. "Thank you, Ana."

I gave him a curt nod and thundered past them. "What is it, Ana?" Luke followed, reluctantly leaving his salmon belly sashimi.

Spinning around so fast that I almost lost my balance, I managed to stop by slamming my fists into Luke's chest. "Tell your fu**ing boss that we are fu**ing over." I told him, furious. Luke's eyes widened with shock and incomprehension.

"What happened, Anastasia?" He pressed, his hands softly caressing mine as he drew them from his chest.

It then occurred to me that if Christian had been cheating on me all this time, Taylor would have known about it. Instinctively, I ripped out the ring around my finger and flung it at an equally stunned Taylor. It made a sharp clanging noise against the marble floor when Taylor failed to catch it in time.

Heck, maybe even Luke knew about it. He must have known. That was why he had been so supportive of Christian, persuading me constantly to trust Christian and to believe in him. I had even been swayed into being a faithful wife, going to my husband when he needed me.

"F*** you, Luke." I spat at the man. My words catching him off guard, I ripped my hands from his and shoved him backwards. He stumbled.

Before Christian could come down or either men could react, I mustered the remaining energy I had within me and sprinted out of the place once more. The sea of people began to maneuver around me, creating space for my tantrum to be thrown. I ran in the direction of my office, the only place I knew to go now.

Suddenly, there was a bolt of lightning and the Seattle sky cracked. The Lord must have witnessed today's display, as the resounding tears that poured from above was intense. Trying to get out of the rain, I ducked into the first shop I could.

It was a Chanel outlet and the gentleman at the door paid me no attention, I presumed because I was drenched from head to toe and clearly not a prospect customer. These damn boutiques were such judgmental assholes. Even so, I walked right in and pretended to be checking out handbags and clothes. Never in my life would I have thought about spending cash on these useless items.

I stared at a gorgeous baby pink wallet and thought about how Christian and I would have lived a happy life together. He would have bought me items like these saying that I deserved them and that I deserved better. Thinking about it now, I did deserve better but not in the aspect of luxury items, but in the aspect of husbands.

My taste in men was evidently atrocious. I had managed to land myself a twisted dark man who had the emotional complex of a five year old and could not keep faithful to me. I was done listening to his excuses. He should have just married Leila instead, why had he even bothered to propose to me?

Chanel had one of those full-length mirrors and I could see why even the door man paid me little attention. I was plain-looking, barely stunning or worth the fidelity. Leila on the other hand had been dressed to kill, her shoes were to die for, Christian-worthy if you will. If dating Christian had its benefits, it would be that I now knew how to hold onto a man. My mind was made up.

"Um, hello." Said a petite sales assistant who had no choice but to attend to me. "Can I help you with something?" By the tone of her voice, I knew full well that she thought I was in here for the toilet.

Thankfully, my handbag housed my wallet. In addition, my blackberry was still sitting in Christian's office, buried somewhere under the pile of raw food and Japanese rice. There was a slim chance he would find me here. "Yes, could you acquaint me with the latest line?"

The lady looked at me suspiciously, deliberating if I was a waste of time. If I had my ring, she would not doubt me now. But from now on, I had no ring and I had no Christian. I was going to have to support myself. As if in proof of my capital, I pointed at the pink wallet I had been eyeing. "I'd like that, thank you." And handed her my Amex.

Christian had dropped me a large sum of cash to handle Mrs Collins. Since there would be no more wedding, no more Mrs Collins or the need to arrange anything anymore. I was going to use his money, as a parting gift to him, and transform myself into someone appealing and attractive to mankind. Maybe that way I would be able to keep my men.

The moment her eyes fell upon the name encrypted on the plastic, she scurried to get her job done. "Right away, maam." Needless did she know that Ms Anastasia Steele, fiancé of Christian Grey, was no more. That thought made my knees shake a little, weakening at the thought of losing someone so dear to me.

I then realized that his life and mine have become so intertwined. Kate was with his brother, Ethan with his sister, Luke was practically a good friend of mine and Gail and Taylor my role models. Not to mention his sweet mother that so resembled mine, just more responsible and successful and his father that stood in for mine when he was not around. I had been contented marrying in to a perfect family, but now I was making a decision to walk away.

My bottom lip quivered and quickly, I took in a deep breath to steady myself. Taylor, Luke and possibly Gail had proven to be traitors. They would, after all, always be loyal to their employer. I must not be weak this time, just as I had been the first time round. Christian needs to see that I am independent and even without him, I could be strong. I did not need to rely on him. I could not let him walk all over me again, he had to know that I was going to let him go.

A man of his fidelity standards was not one worth keeping.

After trying on a million pencil skirts and office blouses, blazers and beautiful dresses, I was set. "Could you get me these," I told the salesgirl as I pointed at my stack, "in different colours." I observed as her jaw hung in surprise.

_My inner goddess hi-fived me. _

"And I'll wear this purple dress now." I instructed her, fishing the fabric out from my pile and striding to the changing room.

I was sick and tired of always crying and always leaning on others for support. This was all my doing. I had trusted the bastard once more even though I knew that I should never have. I gave him permission to wrangle my heart once more. That was it. I was going to have to take responsibility for my own actions.

My mind wrapped around the solutions to this math problem. I could either drag this out painfully, clarify and question and everything with him, or I could leave him once and for all. I could cut out all things Christian from my life and move on. Eventually, I would get better. Eventually.

With no doubts, the first few months would be painful without him. I knew my mind would torture me repeatedly with 'What ifs', but I had to bear with this. I could not and will not let Christian get his way again.

I thought about Christian's vulnerability, his nightmares eating away at him while I was gone. I felt a tinge of remorse and guilt, sympathy in the mix as well, because I knew he needed me. But clearly, if he had issues with committing to me, I did not mean that much to him after all. That added gasoline to my fire.

I know we were turning each other on via text messaging, but it did not give him the license to get a blowjob from Leila while I was away. No way in hell did it give him a green light to do so. Bastard.

How could he have betrayed my trust again? How could he have done this once more? It's as if he didn't have a conscience. Or maybe it reflects his love for me. Evidently I was of little value to him. This time it was not my fault, it was all on his head.

"Thank you, Mrs Grey." The cashier and the sales assistant nodded at me with huge plastic smiles. I flinched. Alright, this was the first and last time anybody would refer to me as that. I swallowed my tears once more.

I retrieved my plastic and hooked on the many bags. "It's been a pleasure."

As I strutted down towards my office, I turned quite a few heads. Who wouldn't look? I was dressed in a short, body-hugging purple fabric that flaunted my cleavage. Not to mention the flashy Chanel shades I purchased that matched my sky-high black stiletto heels. My ego and confidence were steadily building. Christian Grey had nothing on me.

Just as I entered my office, I received a sassy fox whistle from a businessman. Flushing, I lifted my shades and hung them at my cleavage dip. Smiling a bright one, I was intent on Christian realizing that I was not going to be hung up by his ridiculous infidelity.

"Wow, Ana." Hannah breathed, rising from her desk. "Jack gives you an early break and you come back dressed like... Wow."

"Thanks, Hannah." I blushed and looked away, my eyes falling upon the clock. I was still early. Thank goodness. I would not want my streak with Jack to stumble now, especially with my soured relationship with my boss' boss' boss. Jack could make my life a little sweeter than it already was.

"Oh yes, Christian called a few times."

My heart stopped short.

_Breathe, Ana! My inner goddess instructed. You've got to get over that douchebag. _

"Well, if any of his people or himself calls, please do let them know I never returned to the office." I told her with a straight face, suppressing the sadness that was overhead.

Hannah seemed taken aback. " Um. Okay. Anything the matter?"

I bit my lip nervously, pressing the button to call the lift. "Nothing, I just need some space from them all." Looking to her for sympathy, I raised my arm candy. "You know... That mid life crisis?"

"Yes, yes." Hannah fell for it. "Keep them away, got it."

The elevator arrived and I waved at her. "Thanks babe." I said as the doors shut.

I hated these damn elevators. Something about the metal walls seemed to draw the deepest of my emotions out. Christian had just walked all over me. I hate him. I hate him. And with Leila?! He knows how she makes me feel. That bitch got to sleep with Christian while we were together. The crazy asshole had held a gun to my head. The very fact that Christian had been hooking up with her behind me was sufficient to eradicate all sympathy I had for him.

I had none. In a sudden rush of anger, I slammed my clenched fist against the metal. My knuckles clicked at the pain, but it was a brilliant sensation, a cathartic release that I desperately needed.

Ignoring everything around me, I charged to my work area and plunked myself down. "Ana, you're back on time!" I heard Jack cheer happily from his office without even seeing me physically. "You can take the papers home with you, Ana. Everyone else has left for the day."

Everyone else? "Why did everyone leave?" I holler back at him.

Jack laughed, "Not many to begin with anyway. There's a bug going around, why don't you go home early too? No point sticking around."

I faced the short stack of workload Jack had placed on my desk. It was either I stayed here and finished this or wander about the streets with nowhere in particular to go. I would go back to the apartment, but this time, I wanted Kate to be there to prevent Christian from getting to me. Kate had been right all along about Christian.

I should have let her defend me and let her vaporize him, but I had chosen to take his side once more. Not this time. I sighed. I looked at the clock, she would be home from work in an hour or so, until then, I would stay here. After getting the first manuscript done, I headed for the toilet to freshen up. I would not give Kate any opportunity to sniff out my remorse and guilt over this matter, she would Torture it out of me.

Staring at the mirror in the toilet, I sighed out loud once more. Even with my newly done make-up, fancy dress and gorgeous hair, I still could not conceal the hurt Christian had inflicted upon me. Slowly, my lips slipped into a frown and I blinked away the budding tears. It may seem that I needed Kate earlier than I thought. Quickly, I washed my hands and was about to leave the toilet when I heard a shout. I froze in my footsteps.

"What do you mean?!" Jack's angry voice flowed into the toilet. He was standing directly outside the female toilet, probably just leaving the male toilet. "I held up my end of the bargain!"

What bargain? There was no need for me to press myself up against the door because he was shouting at the top of his lungs, unaware of my presence. I contemplated leaving now, but that would put me in the direct line of fire. "I created enough of a distraction by shaking his business deals in Asia." He sounded exasperated.

Business deals in Asia? I gasped and covered my mouth at the exact same moment, my brain beginning to click the pieces together. Jack was on the phone with someone. But who?

"It's not my fault he's so knowledgeable and skilled, we barely did any damage on his business." He sounded annoyed. "As you've already said, they're broken up already. So why can't we just stop here?"

Broken up? What was this? My heart pounded against my ribs and I was suddenly conscious of everything I was doing. Anything I was doing could alert Jack to my presence, I could not move until his conversation was over. He was lingering right outside the toilet door.

"I only agreed to this to protect Anastasia."

My head began to spin. Anastasia? WASN'T I ANASTASIA? What had Jack Hyde agreed to in order to protect me? What did I need protecting from? And who the fuc* had he agreed to?

"No, she's just gone home." I heard him report through his teeth. "HOW WOULD I KNOW WHERE SHE'S GONE EXACTLY?!" He growled. "No, you figure that one out. DON'T. YOU. DARE. TOUCH. HER."

Despite the twisted situation, I could not help but feel slightly touched. Jack seemed to be genuinely protecting me. I made a short mental list of the man the two of them could be talking about.

"GO SCREW AROUND WITH CHRISTIAN GREY YOURSELF, YOU SICKO." Jack hollered once more, effectively narrowing it down.

Christian was involved in this. "IF YOU WANT HIS LIFE SO MUCH, TAKE IT ON YOUR OWN." I heard his footsteps grow further and further away.

My eyes grew wide as I realized that my stumbling upon Christian and Leila must have been a set-up. There were two possibilities. It could have been to reveal that Christian was cheating on me or it could have been to... My breath hitched as I came to see the bigger picture. Somebody was out to get Christian, somebody with the power to threaten his business and draw him out. Christian was a target and his life was the goal.

None of this was a coincidence.

Shattered ; OAR

Goodbye ; Kristinia DeBarge


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30: Questions and Questions

**Author's Note!**

**Unfortunately, no Christian POV! Ana will have to figure out this one on her own and so will you. Yes, ambiguity is key and you are free to speculate. Double unfortunately, the girl in Christian's office is indeed Leila. Please leave a review, pretty pretty please. Thank you. Enjoy :)**

My head was spinning. I pressed my palm up against the toilet door to hold my self in place. What is going on?! Even my inner goddess was tangled, confused as to what was truly happening.

I tried to organize my thoughts. Christian and Leila were together, that was a fact. He was cheating on me, that was a fact. Jack Hyde knew about it, fact. Jack Hyde was working for someone who knew about it, fact. Yet, there were still so many things left unanswered.

How did Jack Hyde and his 'boss' know about it? Does this mean that I was released early so I could stumble upon Christian's tryst? That could not be. Nobody had known that I was going to visit Christian until I had decided to show up all of a sudden. It was a last minute decision. So it must not have been a stage up, it was the truth. Despite the mess of the situation, a large part wished for it to have been a fake. I sighed and continued my thought process.

For whatever reason, Jack was involved in order to protect me. But protect me from what and why he had the motivation to protect me dumbfounded me. Jack and I had nothing more than a professional relationship, so why would he have assisted his 'boss' in screwing around with Christian's business?

At least this explained why Christian had been going overseas a whole lot the past month. It gave me another reason to believe that his relationship with Leila was not something he had been doing consistently. Or was it? I was so confused. Maybe half the time he spent with her and the other half he would be truly fixing his business problems.

Which led me to the next question. Why had Leila been there? Christian had promised me that she was at an out of state mental hospital and would not be returning. So why had she been here, in his office and in that position? My head throbbed.

My inner goddess lifted the list of questions she had made while I was ranting. One at a time, Ana!

Alright. Gingerly, I pressed my ear against the door and closed my eyes. I listened. There was just quiet throughout the office, no hint of life except for my ragged breathing. Jack must have left as well. I waited a while more before straightening up and opening the door slightly. Peeking out, I affirmed that the office was abandoned. Indeed, Jack had already turned the lights off.

Patiently, I hovered at the door for a little longer to be entirely sure he had left the office as well. Then, I made a beeline for his private office room and closed the door behind me. I had no idea what I was looking for, but I knew that there must be something in here to help me along with this puzzle.

My eyes scanned the room and I sent a silent gratitude to Jack for keeping his office so neatly. I doubt I would find anything in the line of files stacked across his wooden shelves. This must be something recent and those files looked a little more ancient.

Walking over to his desk, I began opening the compartments one by one and searching through them slowly. I made sure to keep them back in their original state to avoid suspicion. There was nothing in them, just basic office equipment like files and stamps, rulers and name cards. Nothing remotely helpful to my search.

The surface of his desk was kept prim and proper, he only had a line of manuscripts and documents that my colleagues and I had submitted today. Then, there was his blue MacBook right at the center of the wood. Crossing my fingers, I lifted it to try my luck. It was locked. I felt defeated.

Maybe. Just maybe. I thought to myself, having watched a million crime shows and detective shows to know that cracking this code was a possibility. Putting on my Sherlock Holmes cap, I thought hard. I looked around his office and at the various picture frames he had. They were all useless, I never got down to truly knowing the guy and I knew no names. I let out an exasperated sigh and keyed in '12345'. If only this was an iPhone, I would have better luck with the four code pin. As expected, the picture of Jack laughing shook at the wrong code.

Suddenly, something in his thrash can caught my eye. I gasped. With quivering fingers, I lifted the crumpled film out from all the other junk. There was a picture of Christian in Dom mode, his hand holding the whip and about to hit a gagged girl. I had never seen this before and judging by his features, this was taken before I had met him. I could guess how Jack would sum this equation up. I flipped the sheet over to find a beautiful cursive writing : Think Ana's safe? Think again.

Momentarily, I was stunned. How would have anybody gotten this? It was personal and private, this looked so intimate and it torched my heart. I could not look away from it, but tore my eyes away to search the rest of the dustbin. There was mostly junk and uneaten food but I found the yellow envelope that the picture must have come in. The same cursive writing scribbled "J. Hyde."

Whoever who sent this had targeted Jack from day one, it was no accident that he was involved. I felt a small pinch of sympathy, apologetic that Jack had somehow gotten tangled in all of this. I had never thought of Jack as my protector, this was surely a first. Casually opening the envelope, I was thrilled to discover a sheet of white paper sitting in it, torn at the edges.

My eyes widened as I read through it, shaken beyond belief. Printed in Times New Roman, was a list of names. Thinking hard, I came to the realization that these were the names of companies associated with Grey Enterprises Holdings. Mostly situated in Asia.

"I trust you know what to do. We'll keep in touch." I read aloud, the final signing off the person who sent this had left.

I pieced the puzzle pieces together. Someone after Christian had approached Jack Hyde to help 'distract' him, by assuring Jack that I was in trouble. But then, there was an alternative. What if that someone was after me?

Stick to the facts, Ana. My inner goddess coached.

Okay. I breathed to calm myself down. I was alone in this matter, I had nobody to go to. I could not trust neither Luke nor Sawyer, and even though this involved Christian, there was no way in hell I would consider talking to him ever. There was a slim possibility that this someone was genuinely trying to protect me from Christian, to help me breakaway from him. All that was certain was that Christian had cheated on me once more.

That was too much for me to handle. I stood, picking up my evidence and heading out of the office and towards my work station. Stuffing them in my bag, I slung it and went down. My mind was filled with so many questions, too many in fact, but I was going to slowly figure this out. If I ran to Christian with this information, it would give him yet another way to slip back into my life. Before I decide whether this threat was directed at him and genuinely serious, I was going to keep my distance.

"Hey Ana, early day?" Hannah smiled at me as I exited the lift.

I faked one. "Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Oh yes, Christian called multiple times to check if you're here."

I raised my brows at her in question.

"I told him you never came back." I heaved a sigh of relief. "He even sent men to pop by and check." I was on alert, scanning my surroundings. "They left quite a while back."

My body relaxed and I smiled at her. "Thanks Hannah, I'll see you around?" She gave me a wave and leaned back into her chair.

Something popped into my mind. "Wait, could I borrow your phone?"

Hannah pushed the desk phone towards me as she went back to doing her work. I dialed Kate. "Kate!"

"ANA?!" She reminded me vaguely of a beggar receiving food for the first time in a long while.

"What?" I was soft, tentative and cautious.

I heard her say something, but it was muffled. Then, I realized she was not talking to me. I strained to listen, trying to focus and make out the words. But then she was back. "Ana, we've been out looking for you! Where are you?"

I narrowed my eyes at the plural. "Who's we?"

She sighed, "Ana, it was all just a big misunderstanding, C-"

"NO." I blasted at her through the phone, stopping her short in her defense strategy for Christian. He may have won her over with his lies, but I had seen what I had and I knew how to win her back. "Kate, choose."

"But it was a-"

"CHOOSE." I growled. "I need a friend right now, Kate. I just need you to be there to support me. It's my word against his, isn't it?"

The moment she failed to reply immediately, I knew she was a done deal. I could practically hear the gears in her head clicking. "It'll always be you, Ana. Can I come pick you?"

Thank goodness. I would have had no idea what to do if she had rejected me. "Yes, but keep him away from me."

"He's trying really hard to get to you, can I pass him the phone?"

"No." I shook my head and my voice cracked."I don't want him to confuse me further."

"Oh baby," She cooed sympathetically. "I'll come get you. Where?"

Hannah raised her eyebrows as my eyes watered, I fought them back and swallowed the lump in my throat. "Of-fice."

"Right away, babe." Came my bestfriend's steady reply, secure in her determination to protect me. "Do you want me to keep you on the line?"

"It's Kay." I forced and gently put the phone down.

Hannah's hand stroked my arm, "Do you wanna talk about it?"

I have her a solemn shake of my head and she continued to stroke me until Kate's car pulled up. Gratefully, she had the brains to come alone. I doubt I could face Christian, Elliott or Mia now. Hannah helped me into the passenger side and the moment the door closed, I sighed through my nose.

"Elliott sedated Christian." She said matter-of-factly, trying to lighten the mood. "You're looking like a foxy mama."

I gave her a small smile and clasped my hands together as she began to drive off. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

She sounded like Hannah. "He's cheating on me, Kate." And just that words alone coaxed out the tears that had been kept away within me the entire day.

"I'd hug you, but I'm driving." Kate sounded apologetic as she threw me worried glances. "Look, I don't want to sound like i'm on Grey's side, but how sure are you?"

It did sound like she was on his side and I folded my arms after wiping the first flood of tears. "I saw them Kate, I was there in his office."

Kate sensed the annoyance in my voice but chose to annoy it. "What exactly did you see, Ana?" The image sent a fresh wave of needles into my heart. "You have to verbalize it, babe."

Squinting my eyes shut, I pressed the bridge of my nose I between my index and thumb. "He was leaning back in his chair and she was on the floor..." I did not want to continue.

"What were they doing?"

"Damnit, Kate. She was giving him a blow job, alright?" I snapped, defensive.

"Chill, Steele." Kate cautioned. "I'm just trying to make sure you don't make the worst mistake of your life. Did you see it exactly?"

"I couldn't."

"Why not?"

Kate inquisitions. They always got the better of me. "His table was in the way." Suddenly my idea of not looking over the table did not seem too wise.

Kate had found her loophole. "Then there's a possibility he was not doing anything."

"You've clearly talked to Christian, so what I say won't matter." I hissed, leaning away from her.

"Anastasia, I talked to a panicking Christian who was holding your ring in his hands." That was visual. "I'm just trying to help you see this from another perspective."

"Fine." I conceded. "So there's a SLIGHT possibility that he was not doing what I thought he was." None of me believed what I was saying, I was so sure of it.

"Ana, do you think maybe you're still suffering from the aftershock of his first... Accident?"

I hated how these words were coming from Kate's mouth. She had been the sole person convincing me to screw Christian over and now she was fighting his case. Surely her relationship with Elliott and his family seemed to out rule me.

"And maybe the uncertainty and insecurity you feel from his absence the past month?"

What she was saying was valid. She was right that I had not seen exactly, I had no proof that Leila was sucking Christian off in his office. She was right that I felt genuinely unsure of my place in his life... Which would explain why an imagination could go into over drive... But not for me.

"Just don't shut him out all together, babe." Kate tried to sway me. "He may just be your happily ever after."

Subconsciously, my fingers rubbed against my now un-banded finger. I missed that ring and I missed Christian. "Maybe not."

"I should just warn you that Ethan's waiting for you back at the apartment."

This was déjà Vu. The last time Christian had made a mistake, Ethan had came to my rescue. But this time, he was attached to Mia. Mia was Christian's little sister. If Kate was already acting like this, there was such a large possibility that Ethan would be much worse. Mia was persuasive.

" It's such bad timing." Kate shook her head in disbelief and I gave her a questioning look. "Christian was saying how his business in Asia was finally settled today."

That peeked my interest. "When?"

"He got the call when he was out with us looking for you."

This was more evidence to show that Jack's call had been truth. The moment Christian and I were over, his business was no longer under pressure. "He said it's like he lost you for his business."

"He used to treat me like an asset anyway." I said sourly.

"I hate how you're using past tense on your relationship, Steele." Kate groaned. "It's so unlike you to surrender."

I shrugged. "After a while, you just stop wanting to make it better."

"Okay okay." She rolled her eyes at me. "Christian says he'll give you space to cool off but you still have to get your nose check-up."

It was so like him to take care of me from a distance. "How about give me space forever?" I muttered under my breath.

"Steele, put on your sunglasses." Kate told me as she pulled into the lot in front of our apartment.

"Wh-" I was about to ask when the first wave of paparazzi slammed into my window. I screamed and quickly grabbed at my glasses, shoving it onto my face as I took in the huge crowd of people with cameras and microphones awaiting my arrival.

"It got worst." Kate whined. "We'll sprint through this nonsense."

I sighed. Once again, I was not wise. Throwing an engagement ring at the face of Christian's body guard was a public declaration of our breakup. I should have done it discreetly.

Yeah, like send it in the mail, right? My inner goddess said sarcastically.

Opening the door, the sea of cameras began to flash as they gave me the tiniest of spaces to put my feet down. They slammed me and overwhelmed me with so many questions, all differently phrased but revolving around the same issue.

I raised my hands up to silence them and to my surprise, they went quiet. The crowd of reporters inched their recording devices closer to me. I was going to keep Christian's business safe until I figured out what was going on.

I drew in a deep breath and prayed that whoever was after Christian would be listening, "My relationship with Christian Grey is over. He and I ask that you give us the privacy we need to have this clean break."

There was a moment of still silence as they took it in. They must have not been expecting it, they must not be used to it. Clearly, they would have had to chase their person of interest and hound them for answers but I had freely given it to them. Evidently, I was not cut out to be a public figure, not fit to be Christian Grey's wife.

Then, the next round of questions erupted and before I could answer them all, Kate's arm looped into mine and hauled me through the crowd. The distance seemed longer than usual and after an eternity, we made it into the apartment.

Ethan and Mia were sitting on the couch, expectant looks across their faces. "Ethan!" I cheered and walked towards him as he jumped up to meet me, crashing me against his chest.

I wrapped my arms around him and sook comfort in this familiar embrace. I felt him nuzzle my ear, "I'm so sorry, Ana."

I felt my composure begin to slip away once more and fought harder to keep the mask in place. Maybe I could just cry in my sunglasses, he would not be able to tell, would he?

Mia cleared her throat and Ethan reluctantly pulled away from me. I felt a tinge of annoyance once more and took the chance to stow away my sunglasses. Mia was never really comfortable with me around Ethan ever since Elliott hinted to her that Ethan had been after me first. It was difficult to be with him around her.

"So.." I said nervously. "Can I stay?" Ethan was still living in the apartment in my room.

"Of course!" Ethan and Kate chorused.

A look of immense jealously painted Mia's beautiful face. "Um, will you guys be sharing a bed again?"

Ethan pursed his lips at the same time I did. We would be if he was not with her. Ethan raised his eyebrows at me in question, I shook my head at him. This exchange seemed to discomfort Mia even more.

"Mia," Ethan started.

"No." I reassured her with a soft smile.

"I can sleep on the couch." Ethan and I both said in unison and we recoiled with laughter. Mia put a hand on her hip.

"I'll sleep on the couch." Ethan clarified firmly.

"Ana will just sleep with me, a sleepover is due." Kate declared,'effectively solving the problem. I gave Ethan a thankful smile anyway.

"Yeah sure." Ethan said, dry of emotions.

"I'm sure Christian would be pleased to." Mia reassured us all, backing up the idea.

I hate to be the one to break it to her. "Mia, Christian and I are over." Her mouth hung and I had to close my eyes in order to keep going. "There's no way we're bouncing back from this."

Just then, the doorbell rang loud and clear. "Are we expecting anyone?" Kate questioned Ethan.

Ethan shrugged and raised his eyebrows at Mia, who shook her head. "Christian's backing off for today."

"Then who is it?" We said in unison, part of me reluctant to find out.

**Grenade; Bruno Mars**


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31: The one that got away

**Author's Note! **

**I'd like to say that in my version, Jack's a good man! I find it tragic that EL James made him the bad guy. If you think about it, he's been nice to Ana from the start and I'd fancy he has a soft spot for her. So, I have decided how my posting will be. If I have a chapter, I will post it. If I don't, I won't. So brave yourselves for inconsistent uploading. Remember to check your notifications and leave a review, I love reading them.**

"I don't think Ana should get that." Ethan halted me in my footsteps and started towards the door.

Memories of Ethan getting pounced on upon opening the door played through my head and I grabbed his arm as he passed me. "I don't think you should get it either."

Kate let out an exasperated sigh, "You two love birds sicken me, I'll get it."

The fire burned my cheeks as I stowed away my palm before Mia could dislocate my shoulder. Kate never failed to put me in a spot when it came to Ethan and I, Mia was going to put me on a restraining order. It saddened me to know that Ethan and I might have trouble keeping up our relationship.

Stepping in between us, Mia snaked her arms around Ethan. I cleared my throat and helped her by stepping away from the two of them. Ethan clenched his jaw and let out a breath through his nose.

The door clicked as Kate opened it slightly. My breath caught and struggled to release itself from my chest. Flicking her head back to us, Kate narrowed her eyes at me. "It's for you."

Ethan's eyes widened and he shook his head at me, as if telling me not to to forward. Kate did not miss our exchange, "Look, it's just Sawyer."

Oh. "ANA." Luke called from behind the door.

Kate opened it more to give him a view of me. Luke had not changed out of his attire from earlier today, his face contorted into worry as his hands were balled up at the sides.

Christian must have sent him. "I don't want to hear it, Sawyer." I said, stepping back with my palms faced towards him.

His eyes tightened upon the informal greeting. "I know you think I'm working with Grey and that I hid things from you, but Ana." He persuaded me to look at him. "I was always only faithful to you."

I shook my head at him and back away more. "Screw you, Sawyer."

"Look at me!" He begged. "Think about it, thoroughly. Sweetheart, think."

Mia, Kate and Ethan tensed at the pet name he had for me. Without a doubt, Christian was going to find out about it. "Ana, I'm here on my own, Christian doesn't know." Definitely.

"You should go back." I stated, turning my back on him.

"Ana, how can you think I'm part of any of this!" Luke groaned, frustrated.

I decided to tell him the truth. "I don't know anything anymore, Luke." It warmed my heart that he had personally come down to try and reassure me of our friendship, but it may be a strategic move by Christian to put him in my life as a spy. Our friendship had been real, but now it was a mess.

"Please, Ana. I don't wanna lose what we have, sweetheart." His tone dropped to a constricted edge, as if he was about to cry. My bravado was beginning to be eroded by his sincerity, but this just confused me even more.

How would Christian have kept Leila a secret from Luke? It was impossible. So that either meant that Christian was never cheating on me until today or that he was just a bloody good liar and deceiver.

"Ana, please." The room was quiet as they waited for my response.

"I'm sorry, Luke." I choked, the tears rising up in my system. "I just can't be sure of anything now, please, leave."

"I think it's best if you go." I heard Kate advise him softly, then I heard the door close shut.

Luke was now out of my life. Someone Christian had brought into my life was now ripped out of it. It tortured my heart and the pain constricted my throat. A realization crossed my mind. Ethan and Kate were part of Christian's life too, what if they chose him over me? Oh god, who would I have left in my life?

My knees shook and my arms came to wrap around my torso as I fell to the floor, letting the tears wash over me. What if Elliott asked Kate to choose him over me? I know Mia has probably asked Ethan the same thing, repeatedly even.

"Ana." Ethan's gentle voice complemented his soft arms as they came to cover my heaving chest. He pulled me close into him, resting his head on my shoulder blade and chanting little coos to calm me down. It only made me cry harder and soon I was wailing.

"Don't leave me, Ethan." I muttered, the words came out stifled by the tears.

"Never, baby." Ethan's palm patted my back rhythmically and another pair of hands I recognized as Kate's began to smooth me over.

"I'm going to lose the both of you." I sobbed, gripping onto my own arms tightly.

"No you're not, Ana." Kate said, "You're just a little insecure right now."

I wished that was true. I wished it hard. But the reality was that love changed people. My friends in high school had eventually drifted away when they got boyfriends and girlfriends, this was just a matter of seasoned experience. I knew the hand book, I knew what was going to happen. My fingernails dug into my flesh and I tried to force the memory out.

Ethan's hands seized mine and he gripped onto them securely, trying to pull them out of hurting myself. "Don't." He whispered into my ear. "Release." He instructed and I obeyed. He redirected them to his upper arms as his arms came to hold me around my waist, my back into his chest. "You can grip onto me, sweetheart. Just don't hurt yourself."

I hated this so much. I hated how Ethan was being so sacrificial and sweet to me while I was just falling apart in his hands. He did not have to do this for me. I had rejected him cold and hard and he was with Mia now, yet, he was still coming to my rescue. I felt him press his lips into the base of my jaw, "Go ahead. I know it will make you feel better."

"Ethan.." Kate cautioned, her voice in front of me but my eyes were too blurry to make anything out.

My body took on a life of its own and my nails pressed into his fleshy arms. I kept control on the pressure, ensuring that it was hard enough to keep me sound but not hard enough to injure Ethan. I heard him gasp as I did, but he pulled me closer into him.

Just then, the front door slammed. "MIA!" Kate called out. My eyes fell shut as I heard her run after Mia. All I was doing today was hurting people.

"I'm sorry, Ethan." I whimpered.

Ethan kissed my lower jaw. "If she's the one for me, she will need to know how much you mean to me, Ana." His kisses were soothing in a way. "It hurts me to see you like this, it makes my feelings for you unbearable."

Ethan had assured me constantly that he was over me. But the same way that there was always a small part of me that desired to be with him, there was a part of him that belonged to me too. "But Mia..." I trailed.

"I'll have to deal with her later. But right now, I want to take care of you." He said quietly, as he began to release his grip on me and he held my hands in his. I opened my eyes to see him kneel in front of me. "Anastasia," His eyes blazed. "Despite your insecurities, I am going no where." As if to prove it, he placed my palm against his chest and held it there.

The moment was so intimate as our breathing synced, my heart falling in pace with the rhythm of his beating heart. "I will always to respond to your pain, sweetheart."

Ethan began to lean in and I remained still. Instead of kissing me on my lips, he began to brush away my tears from my face with his feather-like kisses. My heart ached in response. I wanted to be treated like this, I wanted to feel like I was loved. I wanted to be with someone who was tender, soft and kind to me. But Ethan was with Mia now and I had lost my chance.

"Ethan, you have to go." I croaked and his lips remained against my cheek bone. "You have to chase after Mia."

His hands came to caress my jaw as he tilted my gaze to meet his. "I want to be with you, Ana."

If only this scene would have casted Christian as my male interest. "You can't, you're with Mia now."

"I could be with you, baby." He tempted me with his sweet words. "I can make you happy."

Promises. It took a huge effort within me to resist this. "We both chose." I said slowly. "And I chose Christian, Ethan. You don't deserve to be my second choice."

His lips fell into a sullen pout as he registered what I was saying. No matter how much I loved him, the larger part of my affections would always belong to Christian. "I'll have to learn to stand on my own feet now, Ethan." My tears began to slow. "Thank you for being a great friend." A soft smile tugged at Ethan's lips. "I love you enough to let you go."

"Anastasia Rose Steele, I love you." He said firmly and he brought our lips together. Once more, he was gentle, softly parting my lips to slip his tongue into my mouth. I did not pull away because I knew what was running through his mind. This was him saying goodbye to me. I had to seize this moment and treasure it one last time.

With a fierceness, I returning the kiss, deepening it. I fastened my arms around his neck and slid my tongue over his. It shocked him momentarily, but then he upped his skill. I never knew he could be rough, but he forced my mouth wider as he entered me deeper.

After a heated moment, we pulled away from each other, panting. My arms fell from his neck as he cradled my jaw. He pressed his lips against mine one last time. "I always will."

Giving him a crooked grin, I nodded at him. "Go get her."

Ethan returned the smile and he leaped to his feet, sprinting out of the door and effectively ending the little bits of romance we had been cultivating ever since we were younger. He belonged to Mia now and I knew that she was going to bring him the happiness that I will never be able to.

Even if Christian and I never got back together again, I would be secure in the fact that Ethan would always be my best friend. Kneeling in the middle of my apartment right there and then, I felt more secure than I have ever felt over the past few weeks of my place in my friendship with the Kavanaghs.

**Leave a review yes! **

**Superman ; Five for fighting**  
**Apologize ; One Republic**  
**The One That Got Away; Katy Perry**

**This I promise You ; N-Sync**


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 31: Wait for you

**Author's Note!**

**Hi, yes. I'm only seventeen. Thank you very much. I'm going right under my workload, so don't be expecting constant updates! My exams ar in a month )':Enjoyyyy this one.**

Ethan never came home that night.

It was not like I had needed him to anymore. I could see how my reliance on him was torturous and made it difficult for him to move on. Ethan was a sweetheart and I would never allow myself to hold him back again.

"Hey, Ana." Jack greeted me as he walked by my office. "You're really early today."

I smiled at him and nodded. "Bright and early, catch the worm, right?" Jack did not need to know that I had left the apartment before dawn to beat the reporters and any complications that could happen if I left at lunch time. Like a hardworking student, I had started to finish up today's workload by seven.

Jack paused for a moment, his eyes sweeping across my attire. It was not a pervasive sweep, but rather one out of mutual concern and care, as if he was in search of any telltales sign of my abuse that he had been tricked into thinking. "You look good, Ana." He said appreciatively, and I knew he wanted to add 'now that you're no longer with Christian Grey'.

Flushing, I cast my eyes back to my work. "Thanks, Jack."

"How's the nose?" He continued, placing his palms on the sides of my desk.

That gesture forced me to meet his gaze. "This silly thing?" I asked, wobbling my nose brace a little. "I've got an appointment with the good doctor, I'm sure it'll come off."

"That's good to know, Ana." Jack gave me a lingering smile.

"MORNING!" Cheered Anthony as he stepped into the office, carrying his usual huge work bag. Anthony had a habit of bringing things he did not need everywhere he went.

Jack shifted his weight onto his heels and folded his arms as he nodded at Anthony, "Good morning."

"Good morning, Ant!" I beamed at him and waved as he walked past us.

"Right," Jack said. "I'll just talk to you later then." We exchanged smiles and he headed into his office.

The telephone flashed red at my line and I picked it up, "Hello?"

"Hey, Ana!" Hannah greeted. "Kate was calling to check if you were into work yet."

That was right. The only person I had not beat to work was the security man who opened all the doors at an unearthly hour. Kate must be worried. "Is she downstairs?"

"No, Kate's on the other line."

"Oh, well then, let her through." I told her, I had to apologize to my best friend before she could crucify me.

In the morning, I had initially wanted to tell her before I left but she had been fast asleep in her own room. She had came in rather late after helping Ethan and Mia out, even past after I had fallen asleep. I was only woken by her closing my room door as quietly as she could after checking to make sure I had fallen asleep. The Kavanaghs' concern for me always made me feel protected and secure.

The line beeped as the call was transferred. "Hey Kate, I'm so sorry." I started.

"Hey." Came a low and familiar voice that I would recognize even if a distortion machine was used on it.

"Kate?" I swallowed.

He chuckled. "Hello, Anastasia."

My fingers clenched around the receiver and I could not decide if I should hang up. "I don't want to talk to you, Christian."

His laughter cut off midway and he became absolutely serious. "Anastasia, it was a misunderstanding."

" I don't want to listen." I whispered, fighting the confusion that threatened to steal my sanity. "I think it's over, Christian." He was about to say something, but my heart could not take it. Without deliberation, I slammed the headset down once more.

I was suddenly distracted by the red light that showed that Jack Hyde was currently on the line. Leaning back into my seat, I saw his eye brows furrowed in frustration as he had a muted discussion with someone on the line.

Another piece of the puzzle, my inner goddess threw a clenched fist of victory in the air.

Very subtly, I picked up the headset once more and covered the receiver with my palm to prevent him from picking up on my breathing. With my eyes fixed on Jack, I made sure he was busied before I pressed the button to connect my line with his.

"So it's lunch then. Our final meeting." He grunted. "That's it. Bye." And he slammed down the phone.

Jack was probably meeting John Doe for lunch today! This could be it, if I could only find out where he was off the meal. Getting to my feet, I walked nervously towards his office. I observed as he fell back into his seat and put his head on his palm. Taking in a deep breath, I knocked on the door gently.

His head snapped up and a fierceness blazed in his eyes. Upon seeing me, his gaze softened and he smiled, waving me in. Plastering a grin on my face, I sheepishly opened the door. "How may I help you?"

Without thinking, I was driving my train into a wall. "Where are you going for lunch today?" My heart stopped as the words left my mouth and my hand went clammy around the metal handle. I was so screwed. I had just blown my cover. My life was over, I began to break into panic when Jack broke out into a huge grin.

What?! "Where would you like to go?"

My mind went blank. What did Jack know? Why was he accommodating to my desires? Had he known I was spying on him?

At my lack of response, Jack chortled and raised his palms up to me in surrender. "Right, right. Gentleman's initiative." I could hear my heartbeat in my ears as I stared wide-eyes at him. "I'll be ready in..." He turned back to look at the clock on his wall. "Two hours?"

"Two hours." I repeated, my soul having left the building a long time ago.

"Alright, back to work!" Jack teased with a grin, pointing my office area and waving me away.

"Yes yes." I said, still unsure of what was going on. But I pulled myself together in time to close the door and stalk back to my seat. Like a broken Microsoft computer it was, my brain began to process the information, hanging at crucial points. "Hell." I cursed under my breath.

Jack had mistaken my question as a lunch request. He had thought I was asking him out. Oh my goodness. What had I done! Now my boss thought I was romantically interested in him. I clasped my head in between my palms to steady myself.

At least you know it's not today, my inner goddess was trying to be helpful.

So what? I had to ask Jack Hyde out for lunch every day until the day he tells me he's busy, so I can stalk him? Great plan, Steele. I rolled my eyes and sighed. Then, a bright spark ignited the light bulb in my head and I got an idea.

Maybe I could trick Jack into telling me who he was assisting over lunch! But how? I could use two possible approaches. Either I act depressed and go on and on about how Christian had abused me and wait for his testosterone levels to kick in or I act extremely happy that Christian was finally out of my life and maybe Jack would casually fill me in on what he had done. But which seemed more like Jack's personality?

I sighed. Things were getting exponentially complicated. Exactly why I had to boycott all things Christian until I set these few things straight, in a way, I was protecting him too. Somehow, I felt that if I got to the bottom of this little funny business, I would manage to get to a conclusion in the relationship crisis that was Christian and I.

But then again, I missed him. My computer desktop lit up with the screen saver, preceding a picture of Ray and myself was Christian and I at my graduation. My body yearned for him and my fingers felt empty and under-utilized without him. How he would lace his own through mine and bring them up to nuzzle my knuckles... It spread a surge of sadness and longing through me.

Why did he have to cheat on me? I swallowed the lump within my throat and forced myself to focus on the fact that I did not know that for sure.

Yeah, keep telling yourself that. My inner goddess rolled her eyes at me again in disbelief. Christian probably enjoyed his time away from you.

My insecurity bloomed once more as the thought haunted me. Eventually, it got too depressing that I had to rest my head down on the table for a while. The feeling of closing my eyes and relaxing weighed in the exhaustion and I was pulled off into the darkness.

I stirred to the sound of movement in my little office area follow by a door clicking shut. My eye lids felt heavy with sleep and I instantly knew that I was in big trouble with Jack. My clean streak was now disrupted by my inability to stay awake.

The strength slowly returned to my muscles and I pushed myself up from the wooden table, the ache in the right side of my neck settling it. Cupping the sore, I groaned as I forced my eyes open to face the music.

Instead of Jack, Christian was standing in front of the closed door with his arms folded across his chest. "Am I dreaming?" I whimpered, not fully awake.

"You'd wish." Christian said sourly, taking a few steps towards me.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I asked, stretching my neck as I straightened my posture. Thankfully, my heart was still fast asleep and so was my memory reel.

Christian's face set into an angry line. "I'm your fiancé, Anastasia Steele, and you didn't return home last night."

I shook my head at him in disbelief. "You're delusional. I've returned your ring, good bye and farewell."

Stalking up to me, Christian took me by surprise by slamming his fists into my wooden table. I jumped, fully alert now. "You. Had. No. Right. To." He seethed, breathing through his nose.

I had never seen Christian this angry before. His grey eyes torched with the emotion like they had a home within those beautiful cores. But there was no way I was letting him slip into my life once more. "Cheating on me stripped you of all rights." I was breathless, trying hard to regain my confidence. "I'm single and ready to mingle, Mr Grey."

His jaw clenched. "I will not conceal the fact that I am fuc**ng pissed, Anastasia."

I gave him a twisted smile, "You and me both."

"Stop this right now." He growled.

But, I was on a roll. "Is Leila donning my beautiful ring now?"

"WHAT THE FU**?"

"Mrs Leila Grey sounds divine, by the way." My heart squeezed.

"YOU CAN'T FU**ING ACCUSE ME FOR SOMETHING I DIDN'T DO." He barked, feral on so many different levels.

I flinched and leaned away. "I saw you, Christian."

It only seemed to piss him off even more. "WHAT THE F*** DID YOU SEE EXACTLY?"

I had expected begging and groveling, but never in a million years would I imagine that he would be furious with me. But here he was, balled fists and all, looking like he wanted to tear me apart with his sharpened teeth.

"ANSWER ME, ANASTASIA." He hollered, his voice level stinging my ear buds. "WHAT THE FLYING FU** DID YOU SEE?!" Before I could answer, he pursued his case. "YOU DID NOT CATCH US FUC*ING EACH OTHER, YOU ONLY SAW WHAT YOU WANTED TO."

"I saw her giving you a blowjob, Christian."

"NO. YOU. DIDN'T." He pounded the desk once more, eyes red with fury. "YOU SAW HER ON HER KNEES AND ME IN MY CHAIR AND JUMPED TO THE FUC*ING CONCLUSION."

It was hard to admit it, but he was right. The freaking desk was in the way. This was the possibility that Kate had presented to me as well, it was a possibility that I could not ignore. "I know." But there was something I had on my chest that I had to let go off. "Christian, can you tell me something?"

That seemed to soften him a little and his biceps relaxed. "For once you're clarifying something with me, baby. I wish you'd do it more often."

But he did not understand how talking it out made me felt. It was similar to confronting your inner demons, it was the prolonging of unnecessary torture and thing would just worsen. "I want an honest answer."

"I'm always honest, Ana." He claimed, grey eyes smoldering.

I hoped so. "Did going on your business trips give you a break from me?"

He was taken surprise by the question. "What are you asking exactly?"

I fought the impending tears and remained strong. "Did you enjoy being away from me?"

He gasped, as if in awe that I would have ever had such a thought. "Never, Ana." He reached for my hand and gently cradled it. "It drives me crazy to be away from you."

My heart sang for Christian once more and I returned his grip, enjoying the feel of his hand against mine. I knew that his overseas trips were genuine, he had needed to settle the problems John Doe was causing and he could never had fabricated his exhaustion.

He lowered himself to my eye level, "You can't keep punishing both of us for my past mistakes, Ana." Just like I had craved for so recently, he brought the back of my hand to his mouth and caressed it. "I hate to see you unmarked." His eyes blazed with annoyance. "I give you no reason to doubt me, baby. I willingly and honestly told you about my mistake with Leila."

That was a fact. The concept that I had found out directly from Christian and not from snooping about was a point to be considered. He had not tried to conceal it, but rather admitted it to me when I had asked. "Then why was she there?"

He shook his head. "I've no idea. The psych ward reported her missing a week back but I missed the notification in the flood of emails I was receiving." Of course he was referring to the endless alerts and updates on his Asia businesses. "I did not see her coming, she pounced on me, Ana."

I kept quiet, giving him the opportunity to explain himself. His other hand joined with my free hand and he held them tight, his eyes boring into mine as if urging me to listen and be convinced. "I wasn't expecting her, neither have I contacted her ever since I put her away."

"I thought maybe you cleared out the entire office so that you could meet her." I heard myself say.

Christian's eyes grew and he considered my point. "Not really. I called for a mass meeting to were at the conference room, I just had to swing back to the office to get my documents." So that explained the abandoned office when I had gotten there. "Taylor, had been with me, but you bought him lunch and I released him."

"Sushi." I pointed out.

Christian nodded. "Yes, the janitor spent a long while cleaning it off my floor."

I blushed, turning my head away. I had been carrying a lot of sushi that fateful day.

"Just know that she appeared out of no where and begged me to listen." He put on his serious tone once more. "It's because I kept ignoring her advances to contact me."

"Discuss what?" My voice was shaky.

He held my hand tighter, as if assuring me of his love. "She wanted to apologize for threatening you. So I sat down to let her speak and before I knew it, she fell to her knees in front of me to beg for forgiveness." With gritted teeth, I now knew why he had bore such an frustrated look. "No matter what I did, she wouldn't get up."

"I wish I could believe you, Christian." And I genuinely meant it. "But I just..."

His eyes pained. "Can't you trust me?"

I sighed. "I do... But put yourself in my position... Would you let this go?"

He knew exactly what I was talking about. Christian would most probably have beaten up the poor man at the spot to a pulp. No questions necessary. " I understand."

" I'm sorry, Christian." I wrapped my hands around his and soothed them the best I could. He gave me a sad smile. "I need some time."

"Can I atleast take you out for lunch, baby?"

"Sure!" I agreed immediately. Just then, Jack waved to me from his office. Dammit. My heart dropped. "Sorry, I have plans." Christian was not going to like this one bit.

Judging by my embarrassed expression, he picked up on the bad vibe. "Who the fu** with, Ana?" He was unimpressed, stepping away to get a better gage on my reactions.

If only I could tell him what was going on. There was a knock on the door and Jack popped his head in, he seemed momentarily stunned that Christian was in the room but quickly collected himself. "Mr Grey," he greeted rather reluctantly. "Ana, ready to go?"

**Sofi Bonde, Fallout. **  
**Elliott Yamin ; Wait for you**  
**State of Grace; Taylor Swift**  
**Wake up call; Maroon 5**  
**Falling Slowly; Glen Hansard**

Leave a review!


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33: Digging Graves

**Author's Note!**

**Happy Chinese New Year everyone ;) yes! I'm Chinese. But not mainland. I'm from Singapore! This week's episode of PLL was like... :0**

Time was finite and running out.

Christian flared at me, it was not as if I was oblivious to his hatred for Jack. He had made his distaste apparent right from the beginning.

Jack's smile was still set in, though it did not quite reach his eyes. He seemed disturbed that Christian was here in my office and looked close to hauling me out of the place.

My time was slipping away quickly and I needed a solution to balance this problem on both sides. I wanted to obtain the information from Jack, yet, I wanted to maintain this steadily improving relations Christian and I had begun to create. But Christian could not know about the problem at hand, he was a psychological worrier and he would never let me explore this. Instead, he would probably trap me in the apartment under the care of Luke. However, I knew that going through Jack was the best way to bring this mystery to a conclusion. Something none of Christian's security team could do.

Instead, his security team may end up frightening John Doe and not catching him. This would leave him the chance to strike again in the future. But I could find out who John Doe really was and then let Christian vaporize him. That seemed like a more sound approach, more viable for everyone.

Both men cleared their throats, indicating that my time was officially up. I steadied myself and gathered my thoughts the best they could. "Christian," I said in a tone dripping with caution. "I'm going out for lunch with Jack."

Jack seemed to relax momentarily, but then rearmed himself when Christian clenched his fists at his sides, shaking with anger. I had to reassure Christian. Gently, I placed my hand on his bicep and tried to calm him down with the only explanation I had for all this. "Christian, we talked about time."

"Time doesn't include you freelancing as other people's dates." He growled, flicking a glare in Jack's direction.

"We're just having lunch." I clarified, raising my eyebrow at the man.

"Alone." It was not even a question.

"It's just lunch, we only have an hour break anyway." I shrugged it off, stroking his arm.

Jack glanced at his watch, "Speaking of which, I think it would be wise for us to leave now to make the lunch appointment."

Christian was not pleased. Shoving Jack away, he slammed the door at his face and locked it. Cross, he place his hands on his hip on silent question to what possibly excuse I could have.

It made me break out into cold sweat. "It's just lunch, Christian."

"Just lunch?" He said sourly. "Don't think I don't know what you and Ethan did last night." Jack's face popped up at the glass and he threw me worried glances. I tried to ignore him.

Christian's words only made me clam up even more. What did he know? The image of Ethan and I locking tongues did little to calm my raging sea. "We didn't do anything."

Christian laughed sardonically. "Trust me, I have a little sister who feels that her boyfriend is more in love with you than he is with her after last night." Mia had gone to Christian, she had ran to her protective elder brother to come to her aid. "I'm not happy with the fact that you ran away from me and immediately into his arms."

"That's not fair, Christian. I returned to my apartment and Ethan was there with Mia."

"You returned because you knew he would be there!" Christian accused.

That just put me on the defensive. "NO, I RETURNED BECAUSE YOU CHEATED ON ME AND I COULDN'T JUST WALTZ BACK INTO ESCALA WITH YOU."

His jaw clenched and I knew he was pissed. By the look on his face, I knew he knew that I truly did not believe his little explanation. There would always be doubts at the back of my mind. "Escala. Is. Your. Home." He said firmly, through his teeth.

"I'm going to stay in my apartment, Christian." My voice had leveled once more and Jack was waving at me through the glass, two burly big security men flanking him. That only seemed to tick Christian off even more, he tapped his foot against the ground, giving me time to reconsider my words. "I'm serious, Grey."

Before he could protest, I shook my head at him. "I highly doubt Ethan would come back to stay, Mia wouldn't allow it."

"Neither would I." Christian pointed out.

"Okay, look. Can we just put this on hold, Jack's got his panties in a bunch already." I gestured towards qqJack, who was having a heated discussion with the security men. A  
"I DON'T GIVE A F*** ABOUT HYDE." Christian snapped.

I had to stay rooted. "Alright, then I'll see you some other time, I'm off for lunch." I unlocked the door.

Just as I did, two things happened at the same time. Christian grabbed my wrist to stop me and the security men barged into the room. "Stop right there!" They both shouted.

Christian turned with dramatic slowness to glare at the trio, "I am the owner of this company and the employer of your jobs. So GET THE FU** OUT!"

This sent a spark of confusion amongst the men, especially Jack, who was stunned. Before Christian could beat up the poor men, I reached for Jack's wrist, "Lets go, come on." And before anybody could react, I jerked him towards me and led us both out of the suffocating atmosphere.

There was no doubt that Christian would not be happy. But on one hand, I desired to believe his innocence, but on the other, I had a slight doubt if his story could be true. That kind of confusion should be avoided at all costs and besides, having lunch with Jack was for Christian's benefit, not mine.

I dived into the lift as it closed, pulling Jack in after me. I heaved a sigh of relief as I watched the lift begin to descend. Now it was time to fix the damage Christian had done. I could not allow Jack to believe that Christian and I were back together, or something horrid would befall Christian.

"Did he hurt you?" Jack interrupted my line of argument.

"Of course not, no." I shook my hands at him, trying to sway his tainted lens of Christian.

"You're not getting back together with him, are you?" There it was. The question that could make or break Christian.

"I highly doubt so." Saved the day.

"Good." He said with a nod, leading me out of the lift and into the lobby.

"Hey!" Hannah had on a mask of frustration when she saw me. "I'm so sorry. I called your line and then your phone, but Christian wouldn't wait for you to respond."

Oh, I did not want either of them to think that I had been slacking off. "I was buried under heaps of work," I giggled and gave Jack a knowing lock, "and I don't have my phone on me anymore." In order to banish her panic, I added, "Don't worry about it Hannah."

She pressed her lips together and nodded at me, "Off to lunch?"

"Yeah, taking this lady out for a good meal after all the great work she's been submitting." Jack hi-fived me as he turned towards the exit.

Hannah looked shock. As I was leaving, she mouthed to me : You're with Jack?

I shook my head and followed after Jack. Was that what it seemed like?

Yes, you crazy ignorant bitch. My inner goddess reprimanded, heading my lack of awareness.

Was that why Christian was so annoyed? I sighed. I needed to drop him a text to tell him that I love him. My hands felt down my pencil skirt and came up empty. Of course. I had left my blackberry in Christian's office. I halted in my footsteps and waited for Jack to walk into the distance before turning back to call Hannah. "Hannah." She had been watching me retreat. "Tell Grey that I love him to the end of the world and back."

A sweet smile played across her face in place of the confusion and she nodded at me, faith restored in my faithfulness to Christian. I never said I did not love the man, he was probably the only other male I loved besides Ray.

Jack had stopped by his car, completely out of earshot, waiting for me to catch up. He opened the passenger door to his BMW and helped me in before closing it for me and jogging to the other side. "Thanks." I told him as we began to drive away.

"No problem, it's good that you get treated as a princess once in awhile." He stated with a beam on his face. Of course, I knew full well that he was referring to my supposedly abusive relationship with Christian.

"Yeah." I said, defeatedly, putting on a front to try and get him to talk about Christian.

"Christian... How did he happen anyway? One minute you had arrived in Seattle and the next, you were attached." Jack tapped his fingers against the steering wheel.

So his knowledge was limited to what was given to him. I had thought that he would know the basics. "Pure luck, I suppose. Coincidence meeting."

Jack accepted my vague response, but there was something on his mind. "Ah, what is it about Christian that draws you in?"

He was probably under the impression that I was a sadomasochist of some sort. "His passion..." I steered him away from such an opinion. "For what he does."

A quirky look filled Jack's face. "What does he do?"

I gave him a casual shrug. "Feed the hungry, I suppose."

That was definitely not the answer Jack was looking for, so he started to focalize his questions. "There's a bruise on your forehead, you know." Jack pointed out and I looked into the mirror in surprise. Where did that come from? "How did you get it?"

So Jack thought that Christian was still abusing me and wanted to lead me to spilling my guts out about Christian. I thought about it long and hard. When had I hit myself on the head? "I ran into a lift." I told Jack and then giggled. "When it was closed, walked right into it head first."

But Jack was serious, "Doesn't seem like you."

Which was wrong on so many different levels because I was accident prone to a huge extent but Jack would not know that as he barely even knew me. "You don't hang around me long enough."

"I suppose so." Jack sounded tentative and the car came to a halt at the front of a beautiful hotel. The valet got my door and assisted me out carefully.

"You're taking me to a hotel?" I shot, surprised that he would do so.

Jack shrugged, "I've been coming here quite often and the food's good. So I was having a special craving for it the entire last week and decided to satisfy it with your company."

"Um... Thanks." I stutter, knowing that he was softening me up for the impending flirtation. Jack guided me towards a Japanese restaurant and waved at the staff, evidence to the fact that he was a familiar in this place.

It's a clue, Ana! My inner goddess waved her arms in my face, trying to get me to realize it.

Gathering my wits just as the waiter led us to a quiet single table, I piped up. "Who do you usually come here with?"

That seemed to throw him off his game a little. As if he was not completely sure what he could or could not say, he deliberated a while before answering with a firm, "It's rather personal."

"Personal how?" I questioned, trying to probe.

"Look," he lowered his voice as his eyes scanned the place cautiously, "There's a reason why I know about you and Grey."

My inner goddess brought her hands together into a round of applause. We both knew that Jack was about to cave.

"Anastasia," he started, "I got a tip off about it, so don't look so surprised that I know Grey's secret."

We were on the right track, but I just needed to extort the necessary information. I made sure that my jaw hung for dramatic effect, "From who?"

Which bastard would interfere with Christian's businesses in order to help break us up? This was a question that needed prompt answers.

Jack's eyes shifted nervously, trying to calculate and rationalize his next words, no doubt. "I can't say, Ana. But I'm glad she came to me for help."

She?! My inner goddess and I screeched in unison. OUR JOHN DOE WAS ACTUALLY A JANE DOE?! This just made me feel lost, as if my life had been an entire lie. How had I even concluded that it was a male in the first place?

"What's wrong, Ana?" Jack turned concerned, reaching for my hand which I snatched back and hid under the table. "Is there something I should know?"

"I need to know who this source of yours is!"

Jack looked conflicted. "Come on, I can't say."

"Why? Does she have a hold on you?" It could be a possibility.

"No, but just know that she's the good guy, Ana." Unfortunately, he was so sure of himself. If only he knew.

"Jack, the truth is that you've been conned." I did not wait for him to absorb the information. "Whatever you've been told is false, Christian has never hurt me... Not like what you think. Whoever she is, she's just trying to harm Christian and I."

Jack shook his head, staring at me like I was the one in denial. "Anastasia, you don't have to hide anymore, she and I have freed you."

"You're not listening!" I snapped. "She's tricked you into believing her. Trust me, Jack. You're fighting for the wrong side."

He watched me wearily, his eyes reflecting the confusion within his soul. Until now, Jack had believed that he was doing good only to find out that he had been doing the direct opposite.

"Jack, I have to know her identity." I tried my luck, knowing he was in the midst of his moral battle. Jack was a good man. He would know how to do the right thing now.

"Ana, I can't." His voice tortured and he placed his head in between his palms.

I decided to give him some space to think over that again. "Give me a sec, I need to use the washroom." He muffled and okay, distressed to the point of losing his gentlemanly manners.

Getting up from my seat, I caught a glimpse of someone familiar stride past the glass windows. Quickening my steps, I headed for the exit of the restaurant. It was her. She was here. I hid behind a pillar as she walked into the hotel and waited for her to pass the restaurant before I snuck out to observe her.

What was Elena Robinson doing here?

She was dressed in a gorgeous red cocktail dress, her luscious her bunned up with tendrils framing her face. Even at her age, she was stunning. I tried to recall everything Christian had once told me and I knew she was single. Maybe she was here for a tryst.

Elena, towering in her red Jimmy Choos, disappeared down the lift. My eyes watched the numbers change until it stopped and I made a mental note. She had gone down and not up, so that would mean she did not have a room here. I got a few curious glares as I sprinted to call the lift, then leaped into an empty lift and pressed for the basement.

Elena could not be heading down to the car park. She had clearly just come into the hotel and her car would have been taken over by the valet system. What did the basement have to draw her there?

The lift doors open and I was smacked face first by the scent of overwhelming perfume and then the dim lights. I climbed out to face a reception in spotlight, the man was dressed in a tuxedo and looked grand. Beside him was a wide set door and the name "Electro."

"Hi," I said shyly. "What's this place?"

The man broke into a welcoming grin and he waved towards the doors. "Electro is our famous day time club!"

"A club?"

"Yes, I presume you're over eighteen, please." The man stepped forward to open the metal doors. "Have a drink on the house."

The doors opened to exactly a club, the entire scene dim and drizzled with multiple coloured lights paired with upbeat music. To my surprise, there was a crowd. My social life was really horrid.

Focus. My inner goddess poked me.

Right. I sharpened my vision and scanned the place. The place was fogged up with smoke and a sick beat, swaying bodies hindering my hopes of finding Elena. I moved deeper into the club, maneuvering around the bodies and almost losing my footing when I missed the step.

My hands caught the high table and I steadied myself, looking up, I saw the unmistakable red fabric of her expensive dress at the bar. Her back was turned to me and I tried to shift to get a better look but failed to, there were just too many people.

"Hello miss, can I get you a drink?" Asked a flirty male dressed up like he was rich.

"Not now." I said without even looking at his face, stepping around him and walking closer to the table.

Elena was talking to someone. I did not know why it mattered so much to me, but it did. I stopped short a little way from the bar, my mouth hanging for real this time as my eyes connected to my brain and helped me process who she was talking to.

**Sorry about the cliiffhangers, it's a habit of mine. REVIEW PLEASE!**

**Angel with a shotgun; **  
**50 Ways to say goodbye; Train**  
**Turning Tabels ; Adele**  
**You and I can learn to love again ; Lawson**


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34: What the hell

**Author's note!**

**Got this one out whilst preparing for Chinese New Year. I have served my duties by cooking up a storm, cleaning the family cars and preparing those damn oranges. Enjoy this one… or not. Hahahahaha. Muahahaha. **

What the hell.

I put my hands on my hip and gripped onto it so tight that I once again felt my nails digging in. There Christian was, knocking back shots, with no other than Elena Robinson. I bore my teeth and narrowed my eyes. He knew how I felt about her and how she made me feel. I could never understand why he would still keep her round. I certainly would have never stayed friends with an old man who had raped me as a child. But then again, Elena was not for her age, even hotter than I was. Was that what Christian was after?

Ugh! It made me angry just thinking about it. Here I was trying to help protect Christian and get to the bottom of it all and there he was, off flirting with Elena like I did not exist. I had said I needed time, I did not say that that time consisted of leeway for him to be hanging around with an old flame. Just then, Christian brought Elena's shot and his together and they laughed as they chugged it down. Why was he saying he was miserable when he clearly was not?!

All that talk about me making him happy, only me, must be a lie. Because I had just walked out on him at the office and would have never thought that he would wind up here, with her. I was so furious that I could spit. My hands dropped to my sides like balled up fists, shaking and shaking and shaking. I growled and clenched my teeth together. That jerk.

I was not going to run this time. I had spent my time running for far too long, I needed to confront him right there and then. No other time would do. Hah. I was becoming another Christian Grey, an in the moment kind of girl. Stalking up to the two of them, I made sure to stand in between them and grab the first glass of vodka Christian had evidently ordered for Elena.

As I threw it down my throat, I watched as Elena looked amused and Christian seemed shocked to see me. He better be. I slammed the empty glass on the table and reached for the next, dunking it into my system faster than the first one. As my hands wrapped around the third glass, Christian grabbed the glass as well, holding it firmly to prevent me from doing any more damage.

Elena let out a sickening laugh, "Oh Christian, you never mentioned that Ana was an alcoholic."

A look of annoyance crossed Christian's face as he pursed his lips and I could not be entirely sure that it was aimed at Elena. For all I knew, it was targeted at me. That made me angrier and I fought off his hand for the glass. Clearly if drinking was his thing, I would gladly oblige.

"Is that why she's an ex?" Elena teased, tipping me off the edge.

I spun and glared at her. "I'm not an alcoholic, you bitch."

"She's not my ex." Christian spat.

Elena raised her eyebrows, clearly impressed by the fire within me. "From what Christian's been telling me, I'm pretty sure even if you're not one now, you're definitely headed in that direction."

What? Christian had talked to her on multiple occasions? Not only this time?! I thought about the previous times I had gotten drunk, the two dates so far apart that I was made certain that Christian and Elena had been meeting up far too often for my liking.

"Elena, stop." Christian ordered, not at all happy with the information she had so casually leaked.

"No, continue." I snarled. "Have you been fuc*ing my fiancé too?"

I grew irritated with her following chuckle, letting out a huge gust of air like an overheated train that needed a release. "Why don't you ask him that yourself?" The knives stabbed my heart from all directions.

"Shut the hell up, Elena." Christian was furious, his arm snaking around my waist and pulling me away from the troll.

"Hey, you're the one who calls me out." Elena shrugged with a teasing smile on her face.

I grabbed Christian's hand and threw it off me, turning to face him head on. "You wanted us to talk it out? So talk!" I shoved his biceps backward. Christian remained firm, his jaw squared as he deliberated his next move. "Why on earth have you been with Elena?"

"Anastasia, she's only trying to help."

"TRYING. TO. WHAT?!" I blasted in complete disbelief.

Elena was pitching in. "Who else would come up with the idea of dumping all the alcohol in both Escala and your apartment?"

My brain was beginning to be overwhelmed with all these confessions. "YOU LET HER INTO BOTH MY HOUSE AND OURS?!"

"F*** you, Elena!" Christian groaned. "Just leave already, I'll have to fix the collateral damage you inflicted!"

"Alright. But I'll assure you," I heard her heels make contact with the marble floor. "You'll come running back to me."

It was as if those words were meant for me. Elena was staking her claim on Christian, she was pointing out that he truly belonged to her and not to me. Christian and I remained completely still, our gazes locked in a battle as Elena retreated.

"You want to talk!" I hollered, "SO TALK!"

Christian's eyes scanned the club scene behind me. "We'll do this in private, Anastasia. There's a room in the back."

"I'm not going anywhere until you explain why you've been seeing your ex." I folded my arms stubbornly.

I observed as Christian pursed his lips and then he rose to his feet. I came face with his chest and he grabbed my waist, lifting me up and over my shoulder so my head and legs hung down at either sides. "GO TO HELL!" I screamed, thrashing against his hold. But he did not stop, instead, he continued walking.

When he finally put me down, it was in a small cozy room with couches and a coffee table. "You know how I hate being carried like that." I accused.

"Yes, I do." He stroked his eyebrow. "But it was necessary."

"It wasn't. And so is meeting your ex-lover every time we have a tiff."

Christian's eyebrows furrowed. "This is so double standard of you!"

"How is it even double standard?!"

"Whenever you fight with me or walk out on me, you run to Ethan!"

"IT'S NO THE SAME THING. YOU FU**ED HER, ETHAN AND I HAVE ONLT EVER KISSED."

The fire glinted in his eyes. "That's reason enough." I clenched my jaw in utter disapproval. "And contrary to what Elena believes, I never sought her out. I've told you, I'm not much of a talker either way."

"She said..." Before I could finish, he interrupted me.

"That night, she rose up in the same elevator as my friend who was carrying your drunk self. He explained to her, not me." Christian explained with a stern look, daring me to question his loyalty. "She was coming up to get some papers signed for her salon."

"At such a late hour?" I found it hard to believe.

"I was returning from New York late and she needed those papers by the next morning, Ana." Christian reminded me and added in a key factor. "I wanted to be with you the moment I landed, I wanted to sleep in with you. So there was no way I would agree to meeting her outside."

I felt myself flush at his confession. It was surprising... And sweet. I would have never thought...

"Before you accuse me of concealing Elena's role in this, I'd like to point out that you came home stone drunk and I was too furious to explain her to you."

That was a valid argument.

"The second time, she found out because it was her hard liquor."

"What does that even mean?" I blustered.

"It's a Dalmore 62 Single Highland Malt Scotch, Anastasia. One of the twelve in the world, she was purchasing it for a alcohol auction she's attending." He pursed his lips at me and I could gage the rough cost that bottle had been valued at. "I so happened to have the connections to get it for her and I was just holding onto it for her."

I swallowed nervously under his judgmental gaze. "It tasted yummy."

He smirked, "I'm glad you think so. You chugged down $63 000 worth of it, Steele. And I had to explain to Elena why I could not deliver her order."

Something then occurred to me. "You never reprimanded me for it."

Christian let out a gust of air through his nose and his gaze softened. "We had a moment, I was not going to throw it away over a silly promise to a friend." That was the morning that he had scrambled back to Seattle to be with me. "I was just merely going to warn you about becoming an alcoholic, but then you jumped to a conclusion and left me."

It was accusatory once more and I took a step back, my bravado beginning to scrape itself off my vulnerable self. Christian had always had me in mind. If I were in his place, I would have killed Ana and dumped her into hell. "I'm not turning into an alcoholic."

"You best not, it'd be my fault." Christian shook his head, as if unbelieving that his introducing me to better wines had been the cause for all of this.

I reached out to hold his hand, "Never."

Christian stared down at our hands and he intertwined them, "You chose Jack over me today, Ana."

A sinking feeling filled my stomach and my hands were clammy. How was I going to explain this situation to him without revealing what I already knew?

As if reading my thoughts, he grimaced. "You have to tell me the truth, because the same way Elena and I looked to you, that how you being with Jack made me feel."

The familiar pang of guilt hit me and I dropped my head. It must have looked like that to Christian, the rage and jealously would have filled him to the brim. But I was doing it for him.

He has to know, my inner goddess told me with all seriousness.

"It's incredibly double standard if you think about it, sweetheart." His voice was gentle and soft, like velvet sliding down a baby's skin. "I feel the same way about Jack as you do about Elena."

I had to buy some time to think. "Why were you with her today, baby?"

Christian remained his serene self. "Baby, I don't feel like you love me anymore. I really don't." Upon finishing his sentence, the pain seeped into his eyes and he just looked so… sad. It broke my heart.

Carefully, I brought my free hand to frame his jaw, running my hands along the familiar stubble. "I will always love you, Christian Grey."

"You chose Jack." Christian pouted slightly, subconsciously. "And Elena happened to call me for lunch, so I thought, why the hell not?"

"So you didn't know I was going to be in this hotel?" I arched an eyebrow at him.

Christian shook his head against my palm, a question in his eyes. "No, I was quite surprised that you were here. Elena recommended the place."

Elena recommended the place. My brain began to draw parallels, connecting the dots. Could it be? I needed more evidence, I had to have more evidence. Anybody could have asked Jack to meet him here, not just Elena.

He squeezed my hand, "Why did you choose Jack, Ana?"

"I…" I could not find the words to explain, neither could I bring myself to confess to him. "I only chose to have lunch with him, Christian. I've already chosen to spend the rest of my life with you."

In response, Christian lifted my hand with the vacant finger. "This does not support your point."

In exasperation, I sighed. Leaning forward onto my tiptoes, I brought my lips to his softly. Christian grip around my hand gave me the necessary support to deepen the kiss and he began to bring the hand behind his back so I fell into his chest.

As he carefully lowered us both onto the nearby couch, I broke away for a moment and gasped for air. "Is that evidence enough?"

"I miss you, Ana." Christian told me, flipping me over onto my back so he could pin me down. "You've been so irrational lately, but I miss you."

"I miss you too." My chest met his every time they rose.

Christian closed the distance between us and locked our tongues once more, his hands exploring downwards. His right hand paused at my right breast while his left hand kept on going, caressing my hipbones with a tease. His lips began to nip at my neck and I moaned. "Come home, Ana." He whispered.

I deliberated. Of course I wanted to. I knew I belonged with Christian, I belonged to him in every way. There would never be anybody else for me except this man right here who was driving me crazy with his sexpertise. "Come home." He persuaded.

I groaned as he found the overheating spot in between my thighs and he sneaked him thumb under my underwear and pushed it aside. "I love you new fashion sense." He nuzzled my blouse in confirmation. "Except, it's restrictive in a way."

"Get on all fours." He commanded and I did as I was told, resting my weight on my palms and knees against the leather.

Naughtily, Christian grinded himself into my back and I gasped at his rock hard erection. "I'm going to remind you that you're mine." He told me matter-of-factly, adding oil to the heat I was on.

I felt his fingers run up the side of my outer thighs and he folded the fabric up so my ass was exposed to him. He let out an appreciative groan. "I've missed the sight of you fine fine ass, Ms Steele."

My breath hitched as his palm caressed the sensitive areas. "I'm going to spank you, Anastasia."

"Why?" I was breathless, my brain hazy.

"You want the list?" Christian chuckled. "First, despite whatever I've said, you've constantly indulged in irresponsible drinking." The first slap against my butt cheek set off a dark fire within me and I groaned.

"Secondly, you ran out on me and jumped to an otherwise, irresponsible conclusion." He hit me once more, harder this time, and then soothed my ass with the back of his palm.

"Thirdly, you refuse to come home." He growled and hit me hard across my cheeks, I could feel myself getting wetter in knowledge that I had been a bad girl and he was now punishing me.

"Fourthly, you hung up on me this morning." Christian wacked me once more, this time in between my butt cheeks. He nudged my thighs apart with his legs and I felt his breath against my sex, inspecting my arousal.

I heard his zipper go down and I lowered my head a little more to catch him pulling out his impressive shaft from its cage. "Fifthly," There'a s fifth?! "YOU. CHOSE. JACK. OVER. ME." He shouted, in the same moment, he entered me to the hilt and his palm hit me the hardest he had ever hit me before.

I gasped in shock and then fell into a mouthful of moans as he pulled out of me only to slam back into me. "You're mine, Steele." He panted like an animal, taking me doggy style. "With." He slammed into me. "Or." He banged into me once more. "Without." Rammed himself deeply into me. "Your." His grip on my hips tightened as his ball sac swung up to meet my skin. "Ring." He snarled.

"YOURS!" I screamed, intoxicated by the violence in his sex.

Christian fell forward slightly, his chest against my back as he put his hands against my shoulders. Leaning to meet my ear, I was momentarily stunned by the depth he had entered into me. "Tell me if it gets too painful, sweetheart." He kissed my earlobe tenderly, so different from the current situation.

I gave him a nod of approval and he began to pound into me at a brutal rate. I felt my eyes roll back in pleasure, this sex so savage and so raw. My moans turned him on and he increased the passion, his hands reaching to grasp my breasts as he hammered into me over and over.

I began to feel my insides quiver and he must have felt it too, because he bit the soft spot of my neck whilst pulling at my covered breasts, shoving me off into oblivion just as he released a large shot of cum into me as well. He did not stop after one explosion, I felt him empty into me thrice before it stopped.

"I love you." We both said in unison.

Just as before, Christian could only reassure himself of my love for him in this way. He had to join our bodies together in such an erotically coital manner in order for him to understand that we were okay. We really were okay.

"The ring goes back on, Ms Steele." Christian huffed, not even willing to negotiate this time. "I will glue it onto you until we switch it out for a wedding ring."

Taking some time to calm my breathing, I paused before deciding to tell him the truth. "Christian, I need you to promise to be calm."

That seemed to pique his interest immediately. He pulled out of me immediately and I winced at the displeasure. Lovingly, he helped me straighten my panties and assisted me in sitting down beside him. "What did you do, Ana?"

Blushing, I cast my glance away. I was so screwed.

"Don't make me ask again, Anastasia."

"Look." I began rubbing my shoulders subconsciously and making me feel guiltier, he reached around to rub them for me. "Someone's been trying to shake your investments in Asia." I did not want to lock eyes with him, it would suck my courage entirely. "It's not a coincidence."

"How did you know?!" Christian was flabbergasted. "Did anybody attack you?"

Instantly, my head snapped up. "You knew?"

"Of course I did, I'm never that bad in my business to leave that many loopholes." Christian explained. "Someone was unthreading the business, are you okay?"

"I'm unharmed." I assured him. "Are you okay?"

Christian smiled affectionately at me, "It's just a silly business, Ana. I already have my whole world sitting right in front of me." The colour rose in my cheeks again. "Did something happen?"

"Jack Hyde…" I started.

"What did that fu**er do?!" Christian flared, pulling my protectively into his chest.

"No, he's been tricked, Christian. Somebody tricked him into believing that I was in trouble and he needed to help distract you through your Asian counterparts in order to break me away."

"You were in trouble? Why?" Christian arched an eyebrow in worry. "Were you?"

"No," He relaxed upon my words. "Someone sent him a photo of you…" My voice trialed off.

Christian's hand tilted my chin up so he could stare right into my soul. "Tell me, Ana."

"It's of you.. in dom mode." I squeezed my eyes shut.

In response, Christian gently squeezed my chin until I opened my eyes. I opened them to a stormy grey, "When?"

I knew what he was referring to. "It's not with me, Christian."

He heaved a slight sigh of relief. "Good."

"You looked young, like really young, Christian."

His eyes tightened. "What?"

"I couldn't see the girl exactly, but you looked much younger. You were probably twenty."

"What the hell?" Christian was not taking this well. "What has this got to do with you?"

"You were holding some… equipment." I winced. "Jack slipped under the impression that you were an abusive boyfriend."

Christian grimaced, acknowledging that that would be easy to swallow for someone of Jack's standard. "Is that how you see me too?"

"No, of course not." I kissed his cheek to reassure him.

"Thank you, baby." Christian nuzzled my cheek in response. "So you went out with Jack for…?"

"I wanted to find out who he was working for."

That made Christian furious. "HOW DARE YOU PUT YOURSELF IN DANGER LIKE THAT?!'

"It was for you!'

He smashed his hands against his head in utter frustration. "WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU THINK THAT THAT WOULD JUSTIFY PUTTING YOURSELF IN DANGER?!"

"Don't yell at me." I whimpered, like a dog with a broken leg.

The effect was instant and with a look of apology, he softened and brought me against his chest once more. "The last thing I want is for you to get hurt to protect me. I want to protect you, I need to."

"I want to protect you too."

"That's why I love you, Ana." He cradled me warmly. "But I can't let you."

"Aren't you worried about who took those pictures? They're probably circulating as we speak."

"Welch has been on his toes with information about me, so rest assured that this threat is definitely internal." He was dead confident. "But I'll call him just in case, do you have the photo?"

"Internal?" His confidence was persuasive and soon I too begun to feel that this was not as bad as I had made it out to be.

Christian nodded. "It's a direct threat aimed at me, whoever this is, he's trying to get my attention."

"It's a she." I stated.

He cocked his head to a side. "A she? How'd you know?"

I felt proud. "My detective work with Jack." Oh lord. "JACK!" I leaped to my feet. He was probably still waiting in the restaurant, probably already panicking over my sudden exit and prolonged return.

"What?" Christian followed swiftly.

"I left him upstairs, let's go!" I persisted, starting for the door.

Christian caught my hand and I stopped to stare at him. "Don't ever let my hand go, Ana."

I gave him a twinkle and squeezed his palm, "Never let go."

Christian gravitated towards me and fixed his lips against my forehead. Pulling back, he murmured a soft "mine". This was then penetrated by his rowdy "Let's get that bastard", as he led me out of the club hastily.

The moment we made it out of the lift and into the lobby, a pacing Jack Hyde confronted us. Momentarily, I pitied the man. "Jack!" I called. "I'm sorry for making you wait."

His head whipped up and he looked thrilled to see us. Both of us. He stalked right up to our union and Christian tugged me behind him, squaring his shoulders in a testosterone flare. This was never going to get old.

"Mr Grey," Jack appeared to be trembling. "Ana." I peeped out from behind Christian's shoulders as far as he would let me with such a death grip. "She goes by the acronym of E.L. That's all I know, I'm so sorry."

But it was far more information than I needed to piece the puzzle together. "Elena Lincoln." Christian and I said in unison.

**Oh, Look, no cliffhangers. Review.**

**What the hell ; Avril Lavigne**

**Take me to the riot; Stars**

**Dao Xiang; Jay Chou**

**Just give me a reason; Pink Ft Nate Reuss**


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35: Broken Strings

**Author's Note!**

**As some of you have picked up on, this story is soon coming to a close. But of course, I'd start writing another portion of Ana and Christian's life. Anybody have suggestions on which part I should start writing from? Across all the books! **

"Sawyer, take her back to Escala. She is not to leave, no matter how hard she tries to persuade you." Christian ordered, handing me over to Luke who had a professional face put on so artificially.

He could wait. "Christian, why can't I help?!" I had spent the last ten minutes trying to convince the man that I could assist him in slamming down the pedophile woman. Yet, Christian would keep his eyes set straight on the entrance of the hotel for his security details, dropping me occasional 'No's.

He turned an icy glare upon me. "Back to Escala."

"I feel like a child you know," I pointed a finger at him as Taylor marched up to Christian's side. "It's like you're handing me over to the other party who has custody over me."

He folded his arms, his jaw squaring. "Maybe if you stop acting like a child I'll stop treating you like one."

Taylor, obviously seeing that this would escalate into a public quarrel, decided to help ease the fire a little. "Ms Steele, Leila's still on the loose and we only have her psychiatrist's words to trust on her stability."

That sent a chill up my spine and shut me up quickly. The last time I had taken her lightly, I had ended up at the other end of her loaded gun. Noticing, Christian sighed and his anger diffused as he stepped up to my other side, stroking my back to calm me down. "Look baby, you've gotten tangled in this shit too deeply already. It makes me mad that I let her slip through everything to get to you, I will make this right."

Of course, he was referring to Elena Lincoln. But Elena was not the cause of my worry. She was just a crazy whore who was obsessed with my fiancé and would go to all lengths to prove it to him. It was Leila that gave me the creeps.

Taylor cleared his throat and Christian leaned in to plant a kiss behind my ear. "I have to go, Ana. But I'll be back."

But then it occurred to me that if Elena was behind this all, she would be trying to draw Christian's attention. What if this was all part of her big plan? If I let him confront her alone, what would she do to him?

The uncertainty spooked me and I reached for Christian's hand as he strode towards Taylor. He halted and tightened the trip, turning to me with a sympathetic smile. In that moment, he was torn between leaving me behind and taking me with him.

"You said to never let go." I whispered, spent.

He sighed. "Ana, I can't let you come with me. Shit's going to get ugly when I get that bitch in my hands." I felt my bottom lip quiver and Christian sighed harder, then brought our joined hands to my chest. "Never let go of me here, baby. Trust me."

I hated how reassuring his words were when he spoke them. Christian and his innate ability to protect me. If I came with, I would jump Elena and crucify her on a cross. That would teach her for raping the love of my life and wooing him in the present. Christian was mine. He belonged to me. "I trust you, Grey." I finally said, unwillingly. "But watch yourself."

Christian broke into a playful beam and he winked at me as he began to pull away. "Laters, baby."

Luke and I stood side by side while we watched the two suited men retreat for the exit, where the Audi was in ignition already. Looks like the rest of my day was going to be boring, just spending eons worrying about Christian and lazing about Escala.

Excuse me. My inner goddess laughed at my atrocity. You have to deal with Luke.

Of course, I was screwed. If Christian was telling the truth, which was of such a high possibility at the moment, then I had wrongfully accused and shut poor Luke out of my life. I sighed inwardly. I should have never run from Christian in the first place. The guilt slapped me in the face in agreement.

"Let's go, Ms Steele." Luke said, with no hint of friendliness. He did not even wait for me or lock eye contact with me, just walked straight on towards the other car that was parked at the front. It may seem to me that I was being ignored.

Serves you right, my inner goddess sang.

I wished she would just shut up already. She never helped anywhere and at all. Trudging, I dragged my feet after Luke, resenting the fact that we were back to square one in our relationship... Uh... Friendship... Uh... Business relations? I sighed once more.

"Thank you, Luke." I said with the sweetest smile I could muster as he opened the passenger door for me and waited while I climbed in.

"It's my job." Luke retorted and then closed the door rather harshly on me, jogging to the other side and entering the car. We began to drive off with an awkward silence.

Come on, Ana. My inner goddess sneered. It's your fault, you solve something for once on your own.

I rolled my eyes inwardly even though there was much truth in her words. "Luke, I'm sorry." No response. He kept his eyes fixed on the road and jaw tense, as if I had not said anything.

I had to try again. "It was hard for me to believe that you weren't on Christian's side. I mean come on, you work for him, it felt right that you would lie to me to protect him." Nothing. "But then it's becoming clear that he never cheated on me and though I have no absolute proof, I'm starting to believe that Christian is telling the truth and if he is then I've faulted you. And I'm sorry." I was still a ghost to Luke.

I waited for a minute or so for him to respond, assuring myself that he was just trying to concoct a nice forgiveness speech for me. However, he reached forward and turned on the radio, effectively proving my hypothesis wrong. This was going to be harder than I thought and given such raw anger that he was showing, I was even more convinced that he had nothing to do with anything.

"Luke, talk to me." I whined.

His eyes flashed at me, whipping me with fury. "Ms Steele, I think it's best if we keep this professional."

"Stop calling me Ms Steele!" I blustered, my feathers all ruffled. He refocused on the road. "Come on, Luke. We can work on this."

"NO!" He practically slapped me with his tone. I jumped. "I can't believe I gave into your hissy fit and went to try and convince you of my innocence. Hell! I did not even need to, I should've known you weren't a friend worth keeping."

My mouth hung in utter shock. Where the hell was all of this coming from? "But at the time, I could not be sure of anything!"

"That's all you ever do!" He blasted. "Excuses and more excuses! None of this is our fault. If you had just stayed instead of running, we wouldn't be in this mess but instead, Christian, Taylor and I still had to make the first move to chase after you!"

The blood gushed to my cheeks and I could not differentiate whether the emotion was anger or embarrassment. Luke was right on many different levels. This was really all my fault and if Christian was really innocent, I could see how frustrating it would be to constantly chase after someone who consistently doubted you. Once again, the resentment bit me hard.

Luke was not done thrashing me. "I wonder how Christian does it, dammit. He must really love you like crazy because if it were me, I would have left you the day you walked out on me."

My heart took the beating and my breathing faltered. Luke was really mad this time, I had never seen him explode in my life. He had always been so bubbly and carefree, teasing me at every opportunity he could get. I had lost a good friend. ""Luke, I'm sorry but can't we try again?" That was all I could ask for.

"Yeah, you're sorry. But it really showed how much you value our friendship, Ms Steele." He emphasized on the greeting, which made me annoyed.

_Try to think of it from his point of view. My inner goddess was standing by Oprah Winfrey, gaining tips on how to save a friendship._

It really did show my lack of trust in Luke. He had been nothing but nice, sweet and funny. He had never given me a reason to doubt him, yet, I had just tied him with Christian and assumed the worst. I grimaced. I even turned him away when he had come to me, not even letting him argue his case. He was right, I did not deserve his friendship.

Luke parked the car in Christian's bay and leaped out, professionally opening my door for me. He observed as I stood with my head hung low and he pressed the lift button for me. We waited in sheer silence for the carriage. As I stepped in, Luke prevented the doors from closing.

He was not revealing anything. "Gail's out grocery shopping and I'll be taking a shower, unless you wish to accuse me of anything else."

I hated how sour he sounded, but I knew he was lashing out. I had no right to do what I had done to him, or Christian or Taylor. But I had still done it. So this was the consequence I had to pay for, losing a friend and thankfully, Christian was still willing to be by my side. I was a brat and that needed to change.

Luke let the lift door go and he stepped back. "Luke, thank you for coming after me." I made sure I said it loud enough for him to catch, then the doors closed and the carriage took me up the entire lonesome way.

I stepped into the warmly familiar but otherwise abandoned and cold apartment. I had to deal with my own mistakes. It pained me to know that Luke would rather stay in his side of the apartment than to sit here with me. I deserved it though.

Even though there was still no hard evidence to show that Christian did not cheat on me again, everything else reinforced it. The more I held on to it stubbornly, the more shameful I became. It was becoming exponentially embarrassing. I decided to take a shower to calm the blossoming discomfort I was feeling.

I knew that if I were to take a shower in the sub room, Christian would read off it in a very negative light. Starting for our bedroom, my thoughts began to drift towards Christian and Elena. He must have reached her by now. I wondered what kind of confrontation they would have. Maybe he would hit her. Maybe she would hit him. I winced. As if Christian would allow that. Maybe they would be two mature adults and talk it over coffee.

Yeah right. My inner goddess was dressed in her army boots once more. It's going to be world war three in there.

Picking up a fresh towel, I froze midway. A chill ran up my spine and I was made aware that I was not alone in the room. My breathing quickened as my brain began ransacking everything valuable to my situation. I tried to recall anything Ray had once taught me about self-Defence but my knowledge was like trying to flick an empty lighter on. For the third time today, I knew I was screwed.

Very slowly, I straightened myself up to face the girl in the corner of the room. It was déjà vu. Leila held the gun in her hands, aiming it directly at my heart. Everything was the same, except for the fact that she looked even more petrified and broken. Clearly, her damn shrink was a liar.

With the knowledge that I was practically alone in the apartment, I knew I had no rescue team on its way like before. Even though it was his job, my chances or striking the lottery were higher than Luke coming to check on me. I would have to figure this out on my own this time.

"Hello Anastasia Steele." The intruder's voice was shaky, vulnerable on so many different levels.

**CPOV:**

"Stay out here, Taylor." I instructed my faithful man as he looked just as furious as I did.

Taylor had gotten the full details on our drive here, with no doubt, if I did not get my hands around the bitch, he would gladly snap her neck for Ana. I was fully aware of my security details soft spot for my sweet girl, after all, Ana was like an impenetrable force. She was like our own source of kryptonite.

"But sir," Taylor growled.

I placed my palm on his chest in restriction, "Jason." That seemed to get his attention, his wild brown eyes flashing to mine. "I'll call you if I need you."

Without waiting for his approval, I stepped into her bedroom and closed the door behind me. I had called Elena only to find that she had returned to her home. How convenient this would be for me. "I told you you'd come running back." Her sickly sweet voice sent chills up my spine.

I shrugged them off as I turned around, squaring my shoulders and folding my arms to indicate that I was not here on friendly business. Elena was laying back on her bed in her red cocktail dress, her weight upon either wrist as she undressed me visually. I hated how she looked at me.

"I know what you've done, Elena." I snapped.

Her mouth slipped into a playful 'o', as if she was a naughty school girl getting caught. "I've been bad... Maybe you should spank me." She batted her eyelashes while running her hands up her legs. I resented the way she thought I could be aroused by her.

I laughed. It was hilarious how she was embarrassing herself like this. Elena raised an eyebrow, "The canes and whips... Or anything harsher are in the closet over there." Shaking my head, I laughed harder.

"What the hell, Christian?" Elena whined, clearly bothered by my reaction to her advances.

"You clearly can't see that I'm not aroused by you." Her gaze fell to my straight pants. "Not one bit."

That made her even more annoyed. "I could make you." With that, she parted her legs to reveal her crotchless panties.

My laughter cut off and I clenched my fists. If she had been dressed like that then clearly she had been expecting me to fu** her after lunch. It was not a harmless lunch as I had thought it would be. Ana was right to be mad, this bitch was crazy.

Elena smirked. "I told you so." She then opened her legs wider, giving me a better view.

I sighed inwardly. Compared to my beautiful Ana, she just looked like an old hag that had been used too many times in her woman part. Even if I was fully drunk, I would not touch her one bit. "Stop making a fool of yourself, bitch." I clenched my jaw. "I know it's you that's been trying to unravel my business in Asia."

She looked momentarily stunned, but then covered it with a laugh. "Where's your proof, Grey?"

"Jack Hyde confessed." I started. Before she could come up with even more excuses, I added, "And my security persona confirmed it."

She snickered, conceding. "I knew you were a smart man." As she said this, she began to bring her index finger to her entrance, stroking it. Crazy bitch was going to make my alcohol come up. "So... Punishment in the bed, the shower, the playroom or... Elsewhere?"

"Before I decide on your fu**ing punishment, I want to know why." As if fu**ing her would be on the table at all.

Her lips pulled up at the corner, "Why do you want to know?"

"Because you hurt Ana. If you don't have a valid reason for doing so, and I know you don't, I'll come at you with great force." She must have thought I was teasing her because she moaned softly at my words, beginning to start on her clitoris. I fixed my gaze upon her face.

"I did it because you would have to fall back on me." Elena stated, not playing games.

"Fall back how?" She was crazy, as if I would come to her for help in my business. I owned my business and hers.

She used two fingers now, moaning as she threw her head back. "Ana and you would drift, you would find her unapproachable and of course, you'd come to me for advice on how to salvage your relationship."

I had to admit that she was right on quite a few levels. The physical distance my business put between Ana and I had led to a significant emotional distance as well. In addition, Ana was driving me crazy with her drinking problem and I knew that eventually I would have sought the bitch out.

I heard her laugh snakily. "You know I'm right, you came to me quite a few times too."

None of that was true, she had approached me first and I had merely accepted her company over the phone. "I know you, Elena." I tapped my foot against the floor. "You always have an end goal."

"An end goal?" She tried to play coy, taking her fingers from her cunt and bringing it up to her lips. "I'm wet and ready for you, Christian."

To hell she will. "What's the end goal?"

She smiled at me seductively. "That you'll be mine. All mine."

There it was. All this time, Ana had been telling me that Elena saw me more than just a business associate. I was a fool to have told her otherwise. The thought of me defending Elena against Ana sickened me. I had to apologize to my angel when I get back, I was going to worship her body until she was too spent to cum once more.

"For now, that bitch has you. But you'll be all mine." Elena told me with confidence as she dragged her heels up onto her bed. "Come, we'll fu** before you go off. I miss the feel of you in me, it's been too long."

"You're full of yourself." I snapped. "I'm flat, my body's not even responding to you, Elena. I don't want to have sex with you."

Her gaze checked me once more and she sighed. "We'll have to fix that." Sweeping her feet off the bed, she rose and began for me.

"STAY THE FU** WHERE YOU ARE!" I hollered.

She paused, her eyes teasing. "Yes, master."

There was no time for fun and games, Ana was waiting for me back at home and I could not keep her waiting. "I've told you constantly that we're over."

"It's not possible." She cooed, licking her lips seductively. "All these years you've kept me in your life because you still want me."

"That's why..." I saw her triumphant grin. "I've decided to liquidate all your boutiques, your name is officially out of the business."

For the first time today, her face fell in disbelief. "What?" She sounded small, very small and vulnerable indeed.

"I've warned you about keeping away from us," I lifted my index and pointed it at her angrily. "So don't say I didn't."

"You can't do this." Elena whispered, looking lost and vulnerable.

It was almost enough to make me change my decision but I held on to the idea that she had hurt my baby. My baby. Nothing else mattered more than keeping my baby safe. She threatened my baby and she was going down for it. "I've already done it."

She choked at my words and began to sniffle. I knew how much the salons meant to her but she was never going to learn if I did not do this. "Christian..." She whimpered.

My heart was hardened towards her. "I'm filing papers for a restraining order for both Anastasia and myself. You're fu**ing out of our lives, bitch."

I observed with satisfaction as her eyes turned bloodshot red and tears erupted, she sank to her knees and covered her face. She was weak without power, without the power I had given her over me the past years. No more. Every part of me was to belong to Ana and every part did. I had slated this inner demon of mine.

"Farewell." I spat, swiveling on my feet and exiting the room. I had to find my baby and hold her close, knowing now that I had been so close to losing her. Again.

Time was ticking away and I knew what distance did to her adorable little mind. I could come up with a list of insecurities my angel was facing at the moment, none which were ever true and will never be. When that wedding ring is fastened onto the finger, she will then know that she is my everything. A flint of anger sparked through me, she had better be wearing her engagement ring when I got home.

"F***." Taylor cursed, momentarily I thought it was aimed at me but then realized he was on the phone. His gaze shifted to greet me and I raised my eyebrows at him. He was listening intently to his conversation as I led us both back to the car. "Sir!" Taylor called and I turned to question him. He kept his phone, shaking.

"What is it?" I had never seen and of my men so shaken up before, it was really starting to worry me.

"Welch found Leila." Taylor jerked my door open and I climbed in as he sprinted to the other side.

"That's great news!" I chimed, I could slay yet another inner demon before she got to Ana.

Taylor closed the door behind him and ignited the engine, speeding away.

"Hey! Watch the speed, Taylor." Since when did Taylor drive so recklessly? He knew how I valued safety and if he was going to be driving Ana around at this speed, I would really rather he did not drive her at all. Sawyer could take her.

"Sir," Taylor's eyes were blazing. "She's in Escala."

But Ana was in Escala too. I clenched my jaw as I came to the same destination that his mind had already landed on. "Step on it." Today was an exception. "Where's Sawyer?" I snapped.

Taylor swallowed, "He's not picking up his phone, sir."

_Too late. _

**APOV: **

"Leila, right?" I tried to pretend that this was merely just a friendly meeting.

Leila's face broke into confusion for a moment, lost. "You know about me? Master told you about me?"

Oh, so we were back to square one on the master page. Dominant and submissive. I could not wait until Christian got back, maybe he would whip her in front of me. I sighed inwardly, poor Leila was still broken as before. Maybe even more broke. "No," I told her quietly. "We met before in my apartment."

Realization tinted her eyes as the memory was rekindled and she nodded at me. The gun that was aimed at me was making me extremely uncomfortable, "Leila, could you put down the gun?" As if I would let my guard down to an critically unstable woman who now had her finger on the right places.

Like before, she shook her head. "I hold so you'll listen."

My heart pounded. She must have been planning this, she had most probably been in the apartment waiting for me to get back. All because she wanted to tell me something? An unwelcome thought crossed my mind. Was she living here?

My inner goddess practically bitch slapped me for doubting Christian once more.

As if I had not learned my lesson. It was still difficult for me to accept his explanation as the whole truth. "Talk Leila, I'm listening."

Leila's mouth quivered. "Master's upset... I've never seen him this upset and its all my fault."

She must have done something seriously wrong and knowing Christian's personality, he would keep her at arms length just to ensure my security. "Leila, if this is about forgiveness, I can ask Christian to talk to you."

"That day..." She choked and I thought she was about to cry. "At the office... I tried to apologize... I tried..." Christian's words floated into my consciousness, he had been telling the truth. "On my knees... But he wouldn't listen..." Her tears slipped down her cheek bones. "Wouldn't listen... Told me I should not be in Seattle..." Her eyes then shifted to search me. "But you understand right?"

At that moment, I felt compelled to say I did. Christian was trying to uphold his promises to me by pushing Leila away and Leila had been trying to make it right with Christian. I nodded at her.

"I never meant to hurt you." She cooed her tears harder now. "But... Master said I did... Master said I should go... So I begged him... But you..." Suddenly, her eyes met mine with a hint of... What was that?! Her tone dropped to a deadly notch. "You came in! It's your fault!"

I swallowed the lump within my throat, realizing that unstable Leila was now deadly. The sweat trickled down my forehead as I watched her fiddle with the clutch. I had to distract her. "How is it my fault, tell me."

I succeeded. "Master got angrier... Violent... At me." Her voice was almost a whisper.

I gasped. "Did he hit you?"

She shook her head and I heaved a sigh of relief, "He wouldn't talk to me... Master told me to leave... Because you left..."

I sucked in air as the fiery glint returned to her eyes and she pointed the gun directly at me once more, taking aim. "IT'S YOU! YOU MAKE MASTER UNHAPPY!" I was so screwed, my heart trying to leap out of my chest to save itself from the impending doom. "I HAVE TO KILL YOU. MASTER WILL BE HAPPY."

Hearing her words, I knew that at this kind of distance, none of Ray's trainings would come in handy. I had to surrender. Raising both hands in the air for Leila to examine, I squeezed my eyes shut and held on to the memories of Carla and Ray, then the moments Christian and I had shared together.

If I had a chance to do it all over, I would have forgiven Christian and trusted him sooner. Now all I felt was the emptiness from all the lost time springing forth from my running away from the love of my life. I should have never ran. I should have stayed and fought for our love.

A tear slipped down my cheek as I heard the loud bang.

**You took my heart away; Michael Learns to Rock**

**Back at one ; Brian McKnight**

**Love Affair; Copeland**

**Broken Strings, James Morrison**


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36: Shattered

**Author's note!**

**Sorry for the late posting. I've been so caught up with studying and doing homework, it's retarded. My exams are in eleven days. I only had inspiration for the start of this chapter, so forgive me if it wavers. Enjoy this one, please review. **

My world was falling apart at its seams, darkening exponentially.

My angel, my only love, was now in the same apartment as my crazy ex girlfriend. I squeezed my eyes shut and raked a shaking hand through my hair. The fear from the last time did little to come the nerves, the thought of losing Ana was crippling. Her leaving me was one thing, but her leaving... Permanently. I swallowed and stilled.

"HOW THE F*** DID SHE GET IN?!" I hollered, Taylor jumping in his seat at such high speed could not even distract me.

"Sir, I'm sorry." His tone was resigned and defeated. I knew how much both my security details were attached to Ana. Especially Sawyer. But even if guilt was eating him away, I still wanted an explanation.

"JUST GIVE ME AN EXCUSE, ANY FU**ING EXCUSE WILL DO." I snapped, exasperated. The idea of Ana lying breathless in my apartment was looming over my head and I needed a distraction. Any.

"Sir, Welch said she has been in the apartment since yesterday."

My mouth hung. "WHAT THE FU** AM I PAYING ANY OF YOU FOR?!" How on earth could my expensive security team make such a huge mistake?!

"Sir, I'm sorry." Was all the man could say, his eyes fixed on the road to avoid my gaze.

"Luke, if she..." My voice trials off, the pain cutting me off early.

"Sir, I will resign." Taylor stated, firm in his decision. It then donned on me that if he left me because he failed to keep Ana alive, I would be losing another one of my best men... My good friend.

"No, don't." I muttered as he pulled the car to a halt outside Escala. Once the ignition was cut, we both leapt out of our respective sides and sprinted towards the building.

Taylor had made good time with the car ride. I was suddenly hopeful that it was not too late, I could still save my damsel in distress. My fair maiden. We would leave unscathed and I would have my happily ever after with her.

As we stepped into the building, a loud sound exploded and we jerked in our strides. Panicked eyes met mine. "ANASTASIA!" I heard myself holler, my world dimming.

APOV:

An ear-piercing scream filled the room.

I was not breathing. My breath caught somewhere in my throat. Confusion spread through my system. But that would mean that I was not the one screaming. A shot had ran out but I had not been hit, my skin devoid of any invasion from metal foreigners. My eyes fluttered open immediately.

Leila was against the wall, her eyes wide with panic as her mouth sourced the irritant noise. I followed her gaze to find Luke, his gun trained on her like he was taught to. His gaze was so fierce and penetrative that I could not help but catch a sight of Christian within them.

"Luke?" I whispered. "What happened?"

Suddenly, the paleness of Leila caught up to her and her knees knocked together. She crumpled to the ground, her head slamming against the floor hard by her pistol as she fainted.

With his gun and eyes still fixed on her immobilized stance, Luke side stepped until he was a few inches away from me. His voice was like steel. "Are you alright?"

I blinked, my conscious still floating above my body. I flicked my focus back and forth. "What... Happened?" There had been a bullet shot. Someone must have been hit. I was sure of it.

"Ana," Luke called, his gaze falling upon me frantically. "You're okay..." He stretched his hand out to me, intruding into the defense I had just built in the past minute. When I did not take it, he laced his words with reassurance. "You're alright, take my hand."

Mechanically, I brought my palm up slowly, inching it towards him. Luke did not wait for me to meet him halfway, he bent to take it and held me snugly. Luke lowered his gun and I came to realize that he was wrapped in only a towel. He really had been going to bathe.

Suddenly, the moment caught up with me and tears began to bud in my eyes. I returned back to my childhood days, craving the protection of my father. "Luke..." I cried, defeated and weakened.

"You're okay, sweetheart." He urged me, taking me into his bare chest as my tears brimmed over. I was so certain that I was about to die, I was so sure of it.

The metal was pressed against my side as Luke returned the embrace, his free hand coming to cradled the side of my neck as he cooed into my ear. Just like Leila, my knees began to shake and I crumbled. But unlike Leila, I had someone to catch me. Luke's firm arms held me in place as I lay like a puppet doll with no strings.

I cried harder, partially in disbelief. "You came back."

When Leila had had me at gunpoint, I was so confident that nobody was coming to my rescue. I definitely did not deserve it. I was the damsel that pissed off all my knights and finding herself abandoned during times of distress.

"Of course I did." Luke stated, as if apologetic that he had evoked such manifestation of my insecurity.

My hands sandwiched between his chest and mine. God had given me a second chance to make this all right. "Thank you, Luke. I'm so sorry."

He chuckled, I shook along with him, the moment so twisted. "It's okay, Ana. I was just angry with you, it wasn't going to last."

"I'm sorry. " I repeated, the whine clear in my voice.

"I forgive you." He whispered soothingly, knowing this would ease my guilt significantly.

Never again will I run from anything. I had roughed up my relationship and almost lost this precious jewel of a friend. Never again. In this moment, I felt thankful for Luke, finally seeing the quality of the friend I had in him. If I were in his shoes, I would have just walked away.

"ANASTASIA!" That familiar holler burst our little bubble, still distant.

Luke laughed softly as he increased the distance between us. "Here comes the love of your life." I looked up at him through a glassy vision, the tears slipping down my cheeks as I stared at him. He gave me a soft smile as he swiped away my tears quickly.

"ANA!" Christian exploded into the room, his hair in a wretched sexy crazy mess. His eyes were maddened in more ways than one, panicked as he scanned the room for me.

"Here she is!" Luke sang, his hands finding my shoulders as he spun me around like a peace offering to the beast.

Christian's eyes widened and with balled up fists, he stalked towards me like a bullet train. Just as he grabbed me, Luke surrendered my body and took a calculated step back. Christian's arms clutched me tightly towards him, a little too tight for comfort but I was relishing in his embrace.

"Ana." His voice was graced with relief. We stood there enjoying the other's embrace, my tears beginning to choke me as I had so recently imagined to never be able to see him again. To feel him again. I snuggled closer against his padded chest and breathed in his soothing scent.

"Leila?" I heard Taylor ask, hushed.

"She's not dead." Luke replied, "I shot the gun out of her hand and she fainted." I was momentarily stunned by Luke's precise aim.

There was a moment of silent contemplation. "Looks like her shrink was right about one thing... Her sugar level is low as hell."

I locked my arms around Christian as he pressed his lips against the side of my forehead.

"More importantly, he was wrong about her stability." Luke scolded the absent doctor.

"Why are you not dressed?" Came the slight curiosity in Taylor's inquisition.

"I was going to bathe when I caught sight of Leila on the cameras." He explained. Luke must have been checking up on my physical and mental state from a distance, even when he prepared not to care. That made my heart melt.

"Ambulance?" Taylor questioned.

"Not yet. Mr Grey might want to keep this private."

"Private." Christian choked out, brushing his lips against my cheek bone.

"Private?" I whispered audibly.

Hearing the insecurity in my voice, Christian pursed his lips. The last time he had handled Leila privately, it did not to very well with us. "Get Flynn and the doctor over."

Trying not to hurt his feelings, I pushed gently against his chest to try and get a better look at him. He could not possibly think I would let him... Take care of her again, did he?

Christian's arms fastened around me. "Taylor, I need to chat with Ms Steele." Oh, now I was a Ms Steele. "Get Leila out of here. "

What would there be to talk about?

_Hold your horses, Ana. My inner goddess preached. Don't you dare start a war you can't win. _

I took a deep breath to calm myself down, soaking in her logic. The door clicked shut and I knew we were now alone. I heard Christian take a breath as well to steady himself, then he began to release me, taking my hand in his.

"Something you want to say, Mr Grey?"

His grey eyes were blazing with a myriad of emotions. "Yes, Ms Steele. For one," he lifted my hand, "Your engagement ring."

Oh, he was still harping on that. "It's not in my possession." He smirked, leading me towards the the bed. "Christian..." I warned, not in the mood for any blanket rustling quite yet.

"We're not having sex now, Ana." He stated, which made the colour rush to my cheeks. I observed as he lifted the beautiful ring from its position on the bed side table, then inserted my finger into it. He was literally glowing with joy and pride.

"That makes me so happy." He rasped, bringing it up to kiss.

I narrowed my eyes at him. He was stalling.

"Anastasia, you've seen how broken Leila is, I can't exactly hand her to the cops even though I almost lost..." His voice cut off as the memory crossed his mind, leaving him stunned and breathless.

Reflexively, my hand cradled his cheek, my heart beating the same tune his was. I had almost lost him too. "But I'm here now and so are you."

Recognition painted itself on his face and he nodded at me slowly, "What should we do with Leila? Why was she here?"

"She loves you." I told him, concluding the entire drama into three words.

"Fu** no, Ana." He scoffed, rolling his eyes at my words.

"Christian." I scolded. "She was going to kill me because I was making you unhappy."

"That's not love, that's called in need of psychiatric help!" He snapped.

I felt a bubble of laughter come to my lips. "The same way you stalk me and over-protect me?" Before he could rebut my point I smiled at him assuringly. "It's a twisted form of love, but it's still love."

Christian sighed, conceding as he leaned in to press his lips against mine. "I really do love you."

"I love you..." I stroked my lips against his. "and Leila loves you."

"That's quite enough, Ana." He was irritated, antagonized.

I knew there would be no other way to resolve this. If he did not solve this now, I was going to have to take a course on " How to deal with being held at gunpoints daily". "I think the best way to handle this is for you to talk to her."

" What? Just a minute ago you were pissed about me keeping this private." Christian looked confused.

" Just keep your pants on, Grey." I glared at him playfully.

It was his turn to narrow his eyes. " It's not remotely funny."

"You're right, it's not." I caught his pout with my fingers and smoothed it out. "Mr Grey, I'm sorry."

There was a sparkle in his eyes, "I cannot wait to call you Mrs Grey."

"I already feel like a Mrs Grey." I winked at him, fluttering my eyelashes.

A low growl escaped his lips, "I'd like you to FEEL like a Mrs Grey." He said, brushing his fingertips across the crook of my buttock. It must be the fact that we had both come so close to losing each other that manifested this extreme sexual tension in the room. I could literally lock us both up in this room for a decade, his smoldering eyes tempting me further.

There was a knock on the door. "Mr Grey." Taylor said through the door. "Leila's awake."

"Duty calls." I told him softly.

Without warning, Christian's arm around my waist jerked my torso into the curve of his arm. As I fell, my legs lifting off the floor, he bent in to press his lips against mine. Forcing them open, he ate me like a man that had gone without food for too long. I returned the kiss, gripping onto his hair tightly and pulled, inducing a feral growl from him.

Christian lifted me off the floor, swinging me about like one of those scenes in the movies before another knock invaded our personal moment. Gently, he placed me back down on the ground. I giggled and he bit on my bottom lip, "Later."

"Later." I repeated the promise, as his fingers laced through mine and he led me out of the bedroom.

When we entered the living room, my eyes fell first upon Luke who was now fully clothed. He had his arms crossed against his chest, towering over Leila and leaving her squeamish under his penetrative gaze.

Christian sighed audibly, "Leila."

The poor girl, curled up into a defensive ball, snapped her head towards our arrival. Her eyes softened the moment she saw Christian, but confusion stirred within her fragile soul as she saw our entwined hands. Christian and I were presenting us as a united front.

"I love Anastasia, I can only love Anastasia!" He pretty much blasted at the poor girl.

"Christian!" I hissed.

"Leila, this is the last straw!" Christian proceeded with his anger management issues. Did he not see how close she was to snapping?!

I snatched my hand out from his. Ignoring his furious stare, I walked towards Leila and gently placed a palm on Luke's chest as he stepped forward to keep the distance safe between us. "She's unarmed." I told him. Reluctantly, Luke stood down.

Regardless of what Leila had done to me today and before, her words had really reached into the pits of my heart and found some sympathy for her. I understood her, I understood how her love for Christian drove her crazy. We were in the same boat and to think that he had cast her aside… I could barely even survive leaving him. My mind would not even try to imagine being rejected by Christian.

Slowly, I lowered myself to rest upon my knees in front of her crumpled body resting on the couch.

"Leila, are you okay?" I kept my voice measured and my tone soft. Panic was in her beautiful eyes as she barely could comprehend my kindness towards her. "Leila, I will make Christian happy." But the lack of trust she had in me reflected in her pupils, as if I had an ulterior motive.

I could not blame her. She had seen with her own eyes how I could torture Christian, how large an impact my irresponsible actions would have on the love of her life and mine. If I were Leila, I would have shot me a long time ago. Even if she had almost killed me, I could find it within me to forgive her because her intentions were purer than mine.

An idea crossed my mind and I lifted my banded hand for her to inspect. "I'm going to marry him, Leila." I observed as her eyes glowed the same magnitude the diamonds shimmered in this light. "I will vow to love him, protect him, cherish him and make him happy."

Disbelief coloured her face and she turned to Christian for confirmation. Christian, who had his jaws clenched and his hands balled at his sides, gave her a firm and stern nod.

"I know why now." Leila voice was timid and shy, abashed on so many different levels. With much slowness, she refocused on me. "I know why master picked you."

I found myself smirking at her, "You do? I'm still figuring that one out myself."

"I'm sorry for… everything." She said, ignoring my errant and insecure comment. "I just want him happy."

"And he will be." I reassured her, reflexively reaching to take her hands into mine. All four sets of eyes flicked to me, emotions all pretty much shocked and uncertain of what they should do. They lacked warmth but were very soft. "I promise you, Leila."

"I think that's enough." Christian said, stalking up to us and taking my hands out from hers. "The doctor and Flynn is here, we'll give them some space." He jerked me up to my feet and tucked me behind him, playing the role of a wall between the harmless girl and myself.

I could see myself in her. I could imagine myself being her if Christian had chosen to say no to my request for 'more'. I would have been broken, shattered even. I would have become someone like Leila, purposeless. No matter where I went from here, it was decided that I would be with him every step of the way. Never again will I let him go.

"Christian, Ana!" Flynn cheered, trying to brighten up the mood in the room. It was as if someone had died in here… or almost died at least.

Christian swiveled to face me and there was newfound warmth in his expression, he nudged at me to turn with him. "Ana, you've met John, this is one of my family doctors."

Conceding, I began to turn.

"Anastasia Rose Steele?"

My eyes widened as I realized who it was.

93 Million Miles; Jason Mraz

Wherever you will go; The Calling

Shattered; OAR


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37: Skyfall

**Author's note!**

**Quick little update. This chapter serves more as a BREATHER from all the crazy drama and whatsnot. Just take a breath with this one while I study for my exams. **

"Tosh?" I heard the shock color my tone as my high school classmate descended upon our little scenario. Tosh looked brilliant as ever, slightly less ripped than Christian but his boyish features had taken on a more masculine edge to them. I felt myself flush.

"I was wondering when I would be seeing you." Tosh said, running his vacant hand to swipe back his dirty blonde hair from his face.

That only directed more blood to my cheeks. "You... Knew?"

"Of course." He shrugged. "As Mr Grey has said, I'm one or his family doctors and I do read the news..." He winked at me, "and of course the gossip magazines."

I was impressed. "You're a doctor now?"

He nodded at me with his bright grey eyes gazing into mine, exactly how I remembered them. Christian was going to be so pissed. "After High School, I got a scholarship from Mr Grey here to get my medical degree in Harvard."

"Harvard?!" I gasped. Tosh had always been naughty and playful, the class clown, and he was tragically bad at Biology. Never would I have imagined him to enter into Medicine.

Christian cleared his throat. "Right, I pay you for a reason."

"Christian." I hissed, not at all pleased with his cold stance.

"Of course, sir." The smile on Tosh's face vanished, replaced with one that oozed professionalism. He lifted his case and straightened his tie.

Smiling at him, I stepped to the side to let him pass. "Her name's Leila." I told him.

"No, Ana." Christian's irritated voice grumbled in my ear. "The doctor's for you." I turned to give him a puzzled look. Leila had been the one who fainted, not me. He glared back at me, "Flynn will see Leila."

At his name, John stepped towards Leila and offered her his hand. "Where shall we do this, Mr Grey?"

"The library would be alright." Christian retorted, gesturing for Taylor to lead the way. Yet, his eyes remained upon me, scorching me.

"Why do I need a doctor?" I squeaked under the intensity.

"I need to assure myself that you're okay." Christian explained rather monotonously, but I could make out worry in his voice. "Tosh, please."

"Yes sir." Tosh nodded, coming towards me and pointing for me to sit on the couch.

As he took out his equipment, Christian suddenly became loquacious. "So, how do you two know each other?"

Noticing that Tosh was focused on his handiwork as he pried across my skin to check for any signs that his eyes were attuned to, I decided to speak for the both of us. "High school, Christian." He raised an eyebrow. "How do you know Tosh?"

He chuckled sardonically. "His family are my family's doctors, his dad was my personal doctor growing up."

"Why do you need doctors? You have Grace."

"Professional opinion, Ana." Tosh piped up, just a voice but no interaction otherwise.

"Exactly. Sometimes the love you feel for your family clouds your better judgment." Christian explained. "And besides, Tosh's family is remarkable and well known."

"So you paid for his scholarship... Why?"

Tosh laughed, "Couldn't afford it, Ana."

Christian followed suit with a chime of his own, "Lets just say his dad wasn't about to invest a whole chunk of money in a son that didn't seem interested in succeeding in life."

That only made me choke and burst into a fit of giggles. I whacked Tosh playfully across his arm as he brought his stethoscope to my chest, "Sure sounds like you! You were always teasing me!"

Tosh stuck his tongue out at me, " You were fun to play with." And with a soft smile, he added, "We had fun."

That only induced another round of flushed cheeks on my part, drawing Christian's attention. "What sort of fun is this?" He asked, crossing his arms.

"I'm not going to tell him." Tosh whispered at me, loud enough for Christian to hear. He knew he was getting me into trouble!

" You're still the same playful bastard!" I smacked him once more, shaking my head disapprovingly.

"Answers." Christian growled.

I sighed as Tosh returned to professionalism. Christian lowered himself onto the armrest of the chair. "Tosh was my first boyfriend, Mr Grey." Christian's eyes widened marginally and his jaws tensed. Oh no. "It didn't last long, really. Tosh was just a non-committing kind of person."

"Ana's a lovely girl, but I'm a free bird." Tosh shrugged as he flashed the torchlight into my eyes. Then, he began to keep his equipment back into his case.

"You're still single?" I asked, purely out of curiosity. He seemed like a really good catch.

"You're not." Christian made this about me, as if reminding me and Tosh that I belonged to him. "You're engaged." Yes, Christian, yes.

I glared at him. He was being so rude.

"Yes Mr Grey and it's a lovely ring." Tosh said with a sweet smile as he rose to his feet. "Ana's perfectly fine, though I'd suggest keeping her home for a while longer just in case the shock turns into hysteria."

"I'm not in shock!" I pointed out, knowing Christian would use Tosh's professional advice to keep me somewhere only he could access me.

Tosh threw me a condescending look, "I'm a medical graduant from Harvard, Ana."

"Talk about feisty." I stuck my tongue out at him. "Go flaunt your degree else where, Tosh!"

"With pleasure." He winked at me. "Keep in touch, Ana."

"Thanks for coming, Tosh. Send your father my regards." Christian stated matter-of-factly, beckoning for Luke to attend to Tosh.

Before I could let this blast from the past go, I reached for Tosh and threw my arms around his neck. Reflexively, Tosh hugged me back. This reminded me of high school, how every time the other girls picked at me, Tosh would be there holding me. I wondered how we ever let ourselves lose contact.

"You can have his business card later, Ms Steele." Christian snapped, I felt his hands come upon my waist as he jerked me back from Tosh.

Tosh gave Christian a sympathetic smile. "Bye Mr Grey, Bye Mrs Grey." He winked at me once more, making me flush.

"Wait, what about Leila?" I failed to realize that this made me sound like I was making excuses for Tosh to stay.

Christian pursed his lips in undisguised annoyance, "The only doctor she needs right now is Flynn, so Tosh, you may take your leave." Tosh nodded at Christian and then smiled at me, leaving with Luke.

"What, would you like to follow him too, Ms Steele?" Christian was sour, whiny on a small level.

I turned to smile at him, his insecurities and jealousies could compete with mine. "Christian, you know I love you."

His eyes softened and he reached to cradle my face, "Did you love Tosh?"

I sighed at him. This man was relentless. "No, I didn't. My first relationship wasn't really..."

"FIRST?!" Christian gasped. "TOSH?"

I swallowed. My brain should learn to filter thoughts more effectively. "Yes?"

"If I had known... I would have never funded him at all." He said with a straight face, completely seething with anger.

"Why did you fund him… really?" I narrowed my eyes at him in scrutiny, not completely buying his earlier story.

"What I said was true. I did see someone in need of help and went forward to help." Christian shrugged, brushing it off easily. "And it's hard to find a trustworthy family. I thought it in our best interest to make absolute sure that the line of doctors continue."

"That's really nice, Christian." I cooed, brushing him gently on his bicep.

He sneered, "Now that the cat's out of the bag, I may just pull him out of that medical course at Oxford that I so recently put him into."

"Christian you're being irrational. You don't see me angry at all your previous subs." I sneered at him, waving towards the room which contained one of them. That seemed to make him deliberate for a moment. Trying to steer his thoughts in the right direction, I added, "Because it's the past, it's all in the past."

Christian nodded, grateful that I could see his past in such a manner. "But Ana you're all mine... How far did he..." His eyes turned distant at the thought.

"Kiss on the lips." I shrugged.

"Your first kiss?" Christian clarified.

"As I know it." Watching his gaze turn dark, I grazed his bottom lip with my tongue. "But nothing near your standards, Mr Grey."

He growled a low sexy growl. "I best remind you." His firm arms came to snake around my waist as the sexual tension sparkled and fizzled between us once more. His eyes glinted with lust as he licked his lips, "I could take you right here on the table, Ana."

"Mr Grey, Flynn has requested for you." Luke interrupted, untimely.

Christian shot him a lethal glare.

"Go on." I told Christian. "Play nice."

"You're not coming?" Christian's tone was coloured with surprise.

I raised my eyebrows. "You want me to?"

Christian's eyes were confused as he locked with mine, holding my hand against his chest. "Why wouldn't I?"

"I trust you, you know... Not to do anything stupid." I felt myself touch a sore spot before I could realize what I had said.

Christian sighed. "I'm not going to touch her for the rest of our lives, Ana." When I thought he was mad at me, he reached for me and clasped me within his embrace. "I want to keep you happy."

"You will." I trusted this man and one day, my gashing wound would heal completely.

I felt his hands caress me on their way down, Christian took my right hand in his and pulled away slowly. "Ana," he breathed, the look of love so saturated in his grey eyes that I had to remember to breathe. "Let's do this together."

With my breathing still choppy, I could only drag out a nod. Smiling his thousand watt smile, Christian led me past a winking Luke and towards the room of doom. As the love of my life squeezed my hand, I was absolutely certain that no obstacle could stand in our way. No matter what baggage came with either one of us, we would pull through.

Skyfall; Adele


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 38: Happily Ever After?

**Author's Note! **  
**Thank you for bearing with me! I squeezed this one out in between my exams :) so my study is suffering. But hope this was worth the wait.**

"AHHHHH!" I squirmed, riding out the wave of pleasure. The familiar feel of my insides clenching made my eyes roll back into my head.

Christian let out a satisfied grunt that sounded more of arrogance than anything else. I felt his fingers graze my tout nipple gently and he breathed over it.

It was all I could do to whack his hand away. "WE'RE NOT DONE YET?!"

He chuckled and pressed his lips in the valley between my hills. "Anything the problem, Ms Steele?"

The sexual desire in me blossomed once more but it was fought off by my fatigue. "I don't think my body can take anymore after that eight rounds of conquests you did."

Christian pulled me into his chest, pressing my head against his comfortable pads. He kissed the top of my head, "I was aiming for ten."

"WHAT?!" I screeched.

My inner goddess lifted her newspaper. The headlines read : Death by sex.

Christian let loose a loud and boisterous carefree laughter, "If you had behaved, maybe I would have let you off after three."

Of course, Christian was still harping on it. I had accidentally taunted Christian with Tosh after the first three rounds. Apparently, it was not remotely funny to Mr. Jealous here. "But I was just playing around wi-"

"Don't even say his name, Steele." He silenced me, a fire so dark within his voice that I conceded. "Especially not after I've taken you eight times."

I felt the heat rise in my cheeks, "You can take me twice more."

As mercurial as he was, Christian laughed once more and stroked my naked back ever so seductively. A thrilling sensation followed. "Next time." There was a promise made not just to me but to himself too. "That's why I want your stamina levels up. Look at you after mere eight rounds."

"Maybe you should let me back with Claude!" I said sourly, he had turned down my request many times already.

I saw his smile vanish. "No."

I hated ruining his joyous mood."Fine, why don't you box with me?"

Just as expected, his teeth came to view and he sounded intensely amused. "You want to fight with me?"

The memory of how I had spoiled my nose in the first place came to mind. Christian seemed to be an excellent motivator for my inner angst, so why not have the real thing? "I could take you."

"I'd like to see you try. I've taken you eight times in the past hour." Christian played on the word and his body shook with his laughter.

Reaching, I grabbed his buttock and was rewarded with a gasp. It was smooth and firm. "Bad boy." I cautioned him, batting my eyelids as he looked at me.

The resounding growl was feral and hungry. "Ms Steele... I have never been harassed in such an obscene manner."

It was my turn to laugh. "You've never had your butt squeezed?"

"Nope." Christian pursed his lips and I bit my lip to resist kissing them. "You've taken another one of my firsts."

"See, I'm perfectly capable of taking you too." I gloated, kissing him on his chest. The hair on his chest was soft and I let myself linger a little longer.

Instead of tensing up, Christian relaxed. "Thank you for being okay with Leila, love."

Leila had been disillusioned into thinking she needed to remove me to keep Christian happy. All she needed was a hell lot of convincing and a passionate kiss between Christian and I for her to realize different."She loves you, so I understand."

"Ana, please stop saying that."

"But it's true."

"It makes me feel... Uncomfortable." He said, and I shifted so I could look at him properly. "Firstly, it reminds me how I... Broke her."

Subconsciously, my hand lifted and began stroking his arm, trying to soothe him. Christian sighed, "Secondly, I hate feeling like I owe her something... You both wanted the same thing and... I gave it to you."

That seemed to shake my insecurities once more. "You..." I swallowed. "Regret?"

"Hell no!" Christian retorted instantly and I heaved a sigh of relief.

I could imagine myself in Leila's position, shattered in all the core places. The love of my life turning down my request for 'more'. I had had a taste of that when Christian had...

"Don't, Ana." He scolded softly, eyes tightening. "It's in the past. I chose you."

"I bet she's got a stamina." My inner goddess and I said in unison, before I could close my mouth. The vomit of words made their way into Christian's mind and he narrowed his eyes at me. "I'm sorry." I whimpered, trying to reverse the damage.

Christian sighed and swung his legs off the bed. "Christian?" He ignored me, heading directly for the toilet. I sighed and my inner goddess clapped for my performance.

"I can't deny that I'm still sour and bitter about all the experience you have had." I whispered under my breath.

To my surprise, it did not pass Christian's sharp ears. "It's not something I'm proud of." He snapped from the toilet.

I sighed and leaned back into the bed. "What are you doing in there?"

At my question, Christian stepped out. He was freshened up and in his suit. "I'm going to work."

My eyebrows furrowed. "Now?" I leaned across the bed to grab his iPhone from the table. It was 7 in the evening.

Christian's hand came around his phone and he jerked it out of my grip. Coldly. "I'd rather work than fight with you."

"We're not fighting." I said softly, watching him browse through his emails. "I almost died today, Christian." I heard myself whisper even more quietly.

Christian sighed, the wall of angst seeming to give way as he remembered it. "Ana, I said I chose you. Can't we leave it as that?"

"I wasn't even planning to say what I did... It just came out."

His scorching grey eyes set me on fire and he clenched his jaw tightly. "I'd rather you say it out then to let those wretched thoughts eat you inside out."

That grabbed my attention and I readjusted myself to sit up. "But when I say it out you leave."

His eyes fluttered shut and he let out a stressed breath through his nose. "I'm not leaving. I'll just be in the office okay?"

"Why is work so important right now? We're having a conversation!" I blustered, hiding my entire body under the blanket.

He turned on his heel, "I'm overwhelmed right now, Ana. Give me some space."

"Space?" I squeaked. He never asked for space before.

Christian had one hand on the door knob, "Don't read too deeply into this. I love you."

As I watched him open the door to leave, I returned a simple, "I love you too."

Sitting in the bed alone, I wondered how many nights would turn out in this manner. I was curious to know how our married life would end up. Sincerely, I would always have that shred or insecurity about our sex life. I could never provide for him the way the others did even if I wanted to.

What if Christian really did need all that brutal sex? Something that I coincidentally could not provide him with. I fell short and I knew it.

My gaze fell upon my beautiful ring, glistening in all it's glory ever so proudly. Would I ever believe his words about Leila? Even after hearing her confirm what had happened, there would always be that doubt.

How many times would we fight over these little recurring things? My emotions were hard to settle and I was beginning to think they never will. Maybe we would be better off if...

_My inner goddess raised her eyebrows. If what, Ana?_

If we didn't marry. I swallowed the thought and closed my eyes. But Christian was my first love, the one man I had given myself to. That counted for something. I loved the man he was, CEO position included along with his wrangled childhood. Every inch of him was perfect. Except that last bit.

I would never be able to make him truly happy. I thought about Leila's words, her actions as well driven because she believed that too. I would only make him sad and I had to go. If Leila could see it that way... I sighed and tried to banish the thought.

My blackberry came to life, blinking from the bedside table. I reached for it and fortunately, found a message from Christian.

"Anastasia, I'm sorry if you feel insecure. I really want to give you the security you need."

My heart beat to his tune, melting at his words. It was so Christian to be sweet and accommodating when it came to me. Could I... Would I ever let this go? "I'm sorry I feel insecure too. Thank you. I love you."

While waiting for his reply, I went to my inbox and scrolled through all the waiting mail. There was a string from Jack Hyde, mostly about documents he needed me to edit and send for printing. I needed to get those done. Pulling on a silk robe, I took my blackberry to the table and opened my MacBook. I proceeded with checking my mail on the laptop.

Hyde. Hyde. Hyde.

I jumped as my phone rang and I glared at it. Hyde? No. It was an unknown number. One of those private ones where the number was hidden. I wondered who it was... Everybody I knew kept their numbers open. Maybe it was Elena. Christian had told me what he had done and it made sense for her to plead with me to change his mind.

Well, I was going to tell her what she could do with her apology. I accepted the call and pressed it against my ear. "Hello?"

There was a brief silence. Had the cat got Elena's tongue?

"Ms Steele." Came a deep russet voice.

In a way, it sounded familiar. I knew I had heard this voice somewhere... But where? "Who is this?"

"I'm sorry, ma'am." My mouth hung. Maybe this was Adidas from the bar! Christian was so going to kill me. "It's Welch."

"Welch?" I clarified. Christian's security guy?

"Yes, pardon me, Ms Steele. But the security team wants to congratulate you on the wedding and thank you for the invitation cards."

This was odd. Unusual even. "You received the cards?" I had only most recently added the security team to the guest list... The invitations were supposed to be sent yesterday. But I had not...

"Yes ma'am, Mr Grey distributed them last night."

That came as a surprise to me. My ever so distant husband, the one who never seemed to help in the planning of the wedding, had done something. My heart melted a little more. He did love me. He wanted this wedding just as much as I did.

"Ma'am," Welch retrieved my attention. "We, as the security team, know how much torment you have underwent over the latest... Issue."

"Issue?" Which? There were too many.

"Pardon me for bringing it up," Welch sounded uneasy. "The issue with Ms Leila and Mr Grey in the office."

"Ah, that issue." I could still feel the raw wound in me. Burning bright. So many questions unanswered with only Christian's words to trust.

"Yes ma'am, Christian initially wanted us to extract the CCTV footage for you to watch." That seemed like a brilliant idea! "But unfortunately, the issue occurred during a scheduled down time for the office cameras maintenance."

I sighed. If only I had something tangible to see... To validate Christian's words and put out my insecurities forever. Even though I trusted him, the inner me would never let this go... Especially not when he's had history with her.

"However," There was a smile on his voice. "Barney located a CCTV in the opposite office building that saw directly into Christian's office." A tinge of pride followed.

"Oh wow, that must've been one hell of a search!" I exclaimed, imagining the amount of camera footage and cameras they must have screened in order to find something as minute as that.

Welch chuckled, "Yes it was, but Barney's a good man. Well, we managed to sharpen the footage. Please direct your attention to your mailbox, I see you're currently using it."

I flushed. Christian's security team was certainly intrusive to such a large extent. But in this case, maybe it was for the better. Just as he said, the new mail pinged as it entered my inbox.

"It's our wedding present to yourself and Mr Grey." Welch said as my fingers hovered over the icon. "I'll... Go now, Ma'am. Give you some time alone."

I realized I had never had a conversation with Welch before. Nor Barney. "Thank you, Welch. Goodbye."

"It's our pleasure. Farewell, Ms Steele." He said and then the line clicked shut.

Taking a deep breath, I pressed the icon. Immediately, a video screen popped up. I was about to see for myself what had went down in that office on that fateful day. _My inner goddess braced herself, turning pale at the realization that this would either make or break us._

If Christian had not been telling the truth...

Welch must have decided I was brooding long enough, because the video pressed play on its own. I watched wide-eyed as the time stamp stated that this portion of the video was the night before the fateful day. The night before? I gasped. Christian was with Leila then?!

Leila appeared on the screen, I could have missed her if not for the stillness of the frame. I watched as she let herself into Christian's office, then she made her way to his desk and sat on his chair. Once she did, the video was put on fast forward. The time sped forward and I observed as she shuffled between sleeping, flipping through his stuff and walking about.

Eventually, the light came through the windows and Leila concealed herself in the space between the two cupboards behind his desk. Even I could no longer see her. The time continued at its pace and there was minimal movement in the office, Andrea bringing in the papers. I wondered where Christian was.

The time stamp read 9AM. That was about the time he had dropped me off at work. As the time raced into 10.30, Andrea came in once more. This time, she set a cup of warm coffee along with a tray of snacks on Christian's table. I knew that my fiancé was about to make an appearance.

My heart sank as the truth drew closer. The main door opened once more and I stopped breathing. Christian was shaking hands with two aged men in slick tuxedos. They must be his business clients. He had a large smile on his face and waved Andrea to see them out. Still smiling to himself, I watched him text... Text me? Most probably. I remembered his little texts that day.

At about this time, I was already on my way over. Christian stepped into his office and closed the door behind him. Unbuttoning his jacket, he shrugged it off and hooked it on the waiting hanger. As carefree as he was, he stretched and walked towards his table and took a seat. My heart pounded noisily as Christian reached for his coffee. He dipped his biscotti into it and then bit into it.

I bit down on my lip as Leila emerged. Like a mouse, she took tiny foot steps. It was a terrifying thing to watch. Christian had no idea that she was behind him, he was her sitting duck. I tasted the metallic liquid as Leila put a hand on Christian's shoulder.

He jumped up and swiveled in his seat, thankfully, his coffee made it onto his table without any spillage. The anger flashed across his face as he realized who it was and Leila put both hands up in pleading. I could not hear anything they were saying but I could briefly make it out. Christian was furious. He pointed an accusatory finger at her and bore his teeth.

In response, Leila fell to her knees. I gasped as she began bowing to him, a step up from the sub position. Christian grimaced and tossed his head back into the head rest. His hands raked through his copper hair as he groaned in absolute frustration.

Where was I? At my thought, the door opened and I saw myself standing there with all my sushi. I observed the shock upon my face and then that judgment that I passed instantly. In this moment, I hated myself. I hated every inch of myself.

Without waiting for Christian to explain, I dropped the food and sped off. Christian, helpless and stunned, called after me. He leapt to his feet, casting Leila a mixed glare, them raced after me.

The tears came flowing down my cheeks as Welch freezer the frame. The mess on the floor was not the only mess I had created. I had jumped to such an obscene conclusion instead of trusting my fiancé. I hated myself. Covering my face with my eyes, I cried hard.

Christian had never cheated. He was right. But what was most important was the way I had handled it, being so willing to judge him and distrust him than I was to love him and give him a chance to explain. Had this always been this way?

I recalled Luke's words. I was the one who created these messes but I expected to be chased after, to be apologized to. Resentment for myself manifested in the bitterness I could now taste. Had I ever apologized to Christian for this?

_My inner goddess was too appalled to even offer her commentary. She sat on her lounge couch with her eyes cast down, ashamed to be me_.

Realization sprouted hard within me. There would be no progress if I did not change. Christian's love for me was there whether I embraced it or not. All I had to do was release all these tiny seeds of discord that I painfully sewed in our relationship. The distance I felt between us was the manifestation of my doings. It was all on me.

I suddenly wanted Christian in my arms. I wanted to kiss him and hug him and tell him I'm sorry. I desired to cradle my beautiful fiancé in my arms and caress his cheek, to pace my fingers with his. I would never let go.

Springing to my feet, I raced towards the office, thankful that he had not left home.

"Ms Steele?" Gail's voice radiated from the kitchen.

"Ana?" Luke followed, Taylor stunned in the wings.

There was no time. I had no time to stop and explain. Without knocking, I pushed open the mahogany doors and let myself into the grand office. Christian's eyes widened as I entered. He was sitting at his desk tapping away on his MacBook.

"Christian." I hissed, husky and longing for him.

Before he could react, I straddled his thighs and cradled his jaw between my palms. "I'm sorry baby." I told him, crushing my lips to his. I felt his hands snake around my waist. "I'm sorry." I whispered against his lips, forcing them open as I needed to share his warmth.

Christian kissed me hastily, then his hands were tugging at my waist. Rejection spread through me and I stopped kissing him, falling back onto his thighs. I looked at him, panic rising in my system. Was I too late?

Christian's lips pulled up at a corner and he readjusted me so I was sitting sideways across his lap. My eyes never left his face, trying to measure his response. Was he rejecting me?

He pursed his lips, hiding his smirk. "Gentlemen, please excuse my fiancé, Ms Anastasia Steele." I followed his gaze to his MacBook.

The colour rose in my cheeks as I noticed the bright green light that confirmed his words. Christian pressed his lips against my cheek, bringing up the conference window. I almost had a heart attack.

On our screen now was twenty odd men around a long wooden conference table. They were all dressed in fine suits and handling the many papers before them, embarrassed smiles plastered upon their faces. I recognized the two aged men from the footage before.

"Anastasia, this is the board of directors of Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc." Christian introduced us and I gave them a sheepish nod. "Gentlemen, I trust you have received your wedding invitations."

The circle of men gave us all nods, some of them even waving the purple envelope in the air for confirmation. That was the design Mrs Collins and I had come up with together!

"We'll see you then. Carry on." Christian said, shutting his laptop and winking at me. He gazed into my eyes, raw grey on my blue. A look so intense and immersed in pure love that it stole my breath from me. "Now, where were we?"

As Christian leaned into me, I felt absolute bliss.

He was my happily ever after.

_Everything; Lighthouse_

_I won't give up; Jason Mraz_

_Everything; Michael Buble_

_Bleeding Love; Jesse McCartney_

_Down to Earth; Justin Bieber (Acoustic)_

_Payphone; Maroon 5_

_Jasmine; Jay Chou_

_By My Side; Tenth Avenue North_

_All About Us; He is We_

**Okay! This is the end of their chapter :) Thank you to all my readers who have painstakingly followed me all the way. Now you know why I was so resistant in revealing what really happened and Christian's POV earlier on. **

**Not to worry! For those of you who still want to read my stories... I'll be starting a new story with regards to the Greys! :) But not too soon.** **Drop any suggestions you have for the next story in the review box!**

**Thank you! Please Review :))**


	39. Update!

Hello all readers :)

During the course of this story, it has become evident that there is a camp of pro-Ethan and Ana fans. As a result, I am proud to announce that I will be RE-WRITING this story from Chapter 12 with a twist in that direction. So... All those Ethana fans out there, tune in!

HAHAHAHA Re-writing meaning that i'm giving it an alternate reality SEPARATEEEEE from this story line.

It will be posted as a separate story!


	40. Chapter 39

Chapter 1: After the honeymoon

**Author's note!**

**Alright, I was really thinking about killing this story off and focusing on Ethan… but I could not resist doing this. This happens in book three, when Ana finds out about her child. Please follow me and favourite this! (: It's really encouraging. Also, I set up an emo/loner tumblr account, HAHAHAA. I'm catchingmystars . tumblr . com**

The core within my chest was pounding a little too loudly for my liking, as if trying to get caught. An unwelcome thought crept into my mind; How long until another little heart would beat within me?

_My inner goddess pursed her red lips and shook her head at me. You can't think about these things. He won't like it. _

As if responding to her accusation, my husband's grey eyes met mine and he stroked my arm lovingly with the back of his hand. "Of course she's perfect." Christian told the table of his best men, "That's why I married her."

The board of directors that had watched me sexually harass him over Skype gave their nods of approvals, sweet smiles of envy and happiness playing across their faces. My jaw clenched involuntarily, the burden of this secret becoming too much for me to bear after the past three days I had kept it.

It had not been easy. Within the first minute of finding out, I had almost jumped at the opportunity of telling Christian over the phone when he made his routine stalker call. But I remembered him telling me countless of times that he did not want children. Right from the start, he had made arrangements to maneuver around that touchy topic.

Unfortunately, the panic of work I had been baptized in after my honeymoon around the world, eradicated my monthly appointments with the good doctor. Dr. Greene had tried repeatedly to reach past my secretary, Claire, but to no avail. Christian had made me CEO of Grey Publishing, the revamped version of SIP. I had been busied with courses to equip myself for my new role and had to juggle with all his public appearances that I had to attend.

I sighed inwardly. These were all excuses that were never going to get me anywhere. The problem still existed; I had his child growing within me right at this moment. A child that he would not want.

Holding this secret had manifested in deafly forms. On the first night, I had dreamt that Christian had forced me to abort the child. I flinched at the raw emotions that had accompanied such a painful event that I would never go through with. My parents personally had been strong advocates of anti-abortion, simply because it damaged not only the child but also including the mother's life forever.

On the second night, I had dreamt that upon finding out about our child, Christian had tossed me out of his apartment. Heartless and cold, he had chased me out of Escala and sent me divorce papers in the mail. This dream seemed more of the possibility. I knew full well how many other blue-eyed brunettes in the world that were not impregnated with his child there were. He could and would leave me in a blink of an eye.

The third night had been constructed by the devil itself. Christian had fled the moment I confessed the ugly truth to him. I found him later in the playroom with five different brunette subs, all vaguely resembling me. I had watched him punish each and everyone of them, then he f***ed them like an animal. After which, he said his goodbyes to me.

My unborn child was four and a half weeks old by now. My head had concluded that I could never tell Christian about this child. Never would I want to find out which reaction would be the right one.

"Marsala for you, Ana?" Christian whispered into my ear softly, so quiet and tender.

"M-m-m-arsala?" I stuttered, nervous. From all the dramatic manuscripts I had read, pregnancy and alcohol should never mix. I recalled all the miscarriages and birth defects that had molded the characters.

His answering smile was breath taking. "You've never tried?" He chuckled a little before taking my glass and tipping the wine bottle to mine. "You've probably tasted it in your food and never knew."

I gulped. "Probably." I stared wide-eyed at the liquid. If I did not drink this, Christian would know something is up. I needed some pregnancy books pronto, the real factual ones, to help me distinguish myths. He beckoned me to try and I conceded, tasting the wine. It was sweet and refreshing on my tongue. "It's good."

Christian beamed, a cherubic grin across his face. "I'll only let you drink the best."

"Thank you." I said.

His smile faltered just slightly, "Are you alright?"

_Of course not, my inner goddess snapped. I have our child and you just poisoned him!_

"Just a little tired." I ignored her, faking a yawn for show.

Christian flicked his wrist to reveal his new Rolex. Boys and their toys. "It's eight in the evening, Ana." There was a hint of worry in his voice.

_Cover up! My inner goddess instructed. _

I forced a laugh, "Rough day at work, Mr. Grey. Some of us actually have to work."

He shook his head at me and kissed me against my cheekbone. "Your smart mouth is hilarious, Mrs. Grey. Besides, you don't have to work another day of your life if you didn't want to."

"But I love my job. Bossing about Jack Hyde and all." I felt sorry for the man. He remained in his current position while I rose through the ranks faster than the Titanic could sink.

Christian snorted, satisfied. "Anybody who sets their eyes on you won't get far in life."

"You did." I pointed out with narrowed eyes, gesticulating to this entire event. Christian Grey's rise into the trillionaire boards had to be constantly celebrated. Tonight's event was to welcome the new business associates Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc had secured.

He nuzzled my ear, his teeth subtly grazing across my ear lobe. "Because I have you."

"Mr. Grey." Someone across the table said.

Reluctantly, Christian pulled from me and turned to receive the question. Before I knew it, the two men along with their counterparts dived head first into a discussion about more mergers and more acquisitions. Part of me wished they would all bring their wives as well, that way, I would have some form of a normal conversation. If I spoke up now, all these people would know how incompatible I was for Christian.

_You can talk to me, my inner goddess rolled her eyes. We have loads to talk about. _

I flipped my inner goddess and sighed inwardly once more. Babies. I was going to have a baby. My thoughts painted a picture of a bouncing baby boy in my arms, his brunette hair paired with his gorgeous grey eyes. Half Christian and half me. My parents would come over to take care of their grandchild. I could just imagine the joy and happiness Grace and Carrick would have about the child.

Mia would go shopping with Kate for all my child's clothes. I could see it now. Our house would be littered with baby clothing of all sorts of classy brands before he would be born. Elliot would be teasing us about our sex life with no doubt, asking how we got around the baby. It put a soft smile across my face just thinking about it.

_But they're not the ones who matter, my inner goddess shook her head at my idealistic thinking._

She was right. Christian Grey would not be pleased. What if he shunned the child? I was frightened by the thought of our child growing up un-loved by his father.

"Let's go." Christian interrupted my brooding, his hand on my shoulder.

"Hm?"

He directed his view to the men around the table, "Thank you all for joining us tonight. My wife and I will be taking our leave."

There were a few grunts. "Oh come on, Grey. So early? You're getting old!" One of them teased.

Christian laughed good-naturedly. Never one to be pointing fingers, he bid the man farewell. "I wouldn't be this exhausted if you all did more work!" He taunted back, which was met with a round of laughter from the guys. This was my husband. My bold, confident and sexy husband.

I was going to lose him and all this once he found out about the baby. I could feel it in my bones.

He helped me up from my seat and swung an arm around my shoulders as he led me out of the event hall. On the way out, many of the people present rose from their seats to shake our hands. So many people my husband met and knew, so many who loved him. I sighed once more.

Taylor joined us as we reached the lobby. "Mr. Grey, is anything the problem?"

This only made me feel even worse about myself. Did Christian never leave this early from events and functions?

"Nothing at all, Taylor." Christian waved away the man's concern. "Ana's just feeling a little tired."

"Of course," Like a father would, Taylor scanned my exterior. "The car is waiting."

"Thank you." I whispered as Taylor opened the Audi door for me. Christian guided me up to the seats and I smiled at Luke who was behind the wheel.

Luke had known something was up from the moment I had stepped into Dr. Greene's office. Thankfully, he was keeping it to himself. Luke rose his eyebrows discreetly in question of my well-being and I gave him a subtle shake of my head in reply. Even through our wedding and honeymoon, Luke still remained my good friend and confidante. I trusted him and he took care of me.

Through the past few months, I had learned to understand the works behind Christian and Taylor's relationships. Something so professional could be so intimate as well. At times, I felt like Taylor knew more about Christian than I did.

"Thank you." I told Christian as Sawyer drove off. I wrapped my arms around Christian's waist, snuggling into his chest.

He chuckled, a hand stroking my thigh. "Whatever for?"

"For understanding." I twisted so I could look into his grey eyes. "I'm sorry for being a party-pooper."

"Oh trust me, Ana." He laughed. "Not much of a party to be pooped on." I laughed with him and we shook as one. "Besides, I'd much rather spend time alone with you."

I flushed at his words. Christian's fingertips grazed my cheeks gingerly, a fire within his eyes burning with his love for me. He was always so intense. I reached to catch his fingers in mine and I brought them to my lips. "I love you, Mr. Grey."

In response, he brought my wedding ring to his lips. "As I love you, Mrs. Grey."

_Not for longgggggg, my inner goddess sang. _

**Review and favourite so I know whether I should continueee :) THIS STORY WILL BE CONTINUED IN "FIFTY SHADES OF LOVE", ANOTHER STORY THAT CAN BE FOUND UNDER MY NAME!  
**

**You could be happy; Snow Patrol**

**No One's gonna love you ;Band of horses**

**Detlef sCHREMPF; Band of horses**


	41. Chapter 41

All followers please take note that this story has been continued in "Fifty Shades of Love"

Chapter 2 will be uploaded in a few hours!


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